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Is He Cheating On Me? (35 Alarming Signs Your Husband Or Boyfriend Is A Cheat)

by Michele Kelsey

You're probably here because you suspect that he is cheating on you?

Are you worried about the suspicious behavior of your boyfriend or husband?

Are you losing endless hours of sleep due to the sadness and uncertainty as to what is going on in your relationship?

If so, then it's super important you find out what is going on so that you can get your life back...

It's September 2020 already and it's about time you figure out what's going on in your relationship so you don't waste any more time.

The first thing you will want to do is actually rule out that he's seeing someone else right now and cheating on you.

Even if he says he isn't, he's maybe covering it up so it's extremely important that you investigate a little further to make sure that he isn't.

A great way to rule this out is by using an online tool like this (click here to check it out).

Just enter his name and details and this tool will show you any secret dating profiles he has, who he's frequently communicating with online, and a bunch of other info which will allow you to draw your own conclusions as to whether he may be cheating on you or not.

It turns out that some women even discovered that the man they had been dating for years was already married.

How crazy is that?

Of course, it's not what you hope in your case, but you should rule it out nonetheless - and the most effective way is with this tool.

Once you've ruled that out, it's time to dig a little deeper.

Let's investigate some other potential signs that he may be cheating.

Contents

Top 35 Signs He Is Cheating On You

1. He won’t add you or has deleted you from his social media accounts

Woman Holding Her Phone Showing Apps

I once had a guy who I was in a serious relationship with, someone who would not add me to Facebook no matter how many times I tried. He never really gave me a valid reason for not letting me see his Facebook account, either. I sent him repeated requests to be added, too, but he never did add me, which bugged me to death!

I was ignorantly happy in the relationship, so I eventually let it go, but it was always a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind. What was on his Facebook account that was so important that I couldn’t see? This was a true sign that he was seeing someone else, and our time together was just a side project of his. We did live two hours apart.

Once we broke up, I learned there was another woman who he was sending text messages and seeing behind my back. If you are dating someone like that, be sure to put your guard up because it’s very suspicious! Why wouldn’t he want to share with the world that he’s in a long-term relationship with you?

2. He accuses YOU of cheating

Your man very well may be cheating on you if you find that he is reversing the accusations. Does he frequently seem suspicious or insecure about what you are up to, especially if you haven’t changed your behavior or what he should expect from you? This could be a sign of cheating because he is projecting onto you.

3. He has become very moody

Husband Angry At Wife Arguing

Sudden irritability is never a pleasant thing to put up with, but it happens; some people just go through stressful times in their lives and take it out on the wrong people on a daily basis. He may have tighter deadlines at work or an overly critical boss; ideally, he’d want to talk about that with you, but he may just be relieved to be home.

Work stress can be exhibited in many ways, but what if there’s more to it? If he is suddenly getting mad at you over the little things in life, like not replacing the toilet paper roll or forgetting to use a coaster, that could be a sign he is cheating. Often, the guilt of an affair causes an individual to be irritable with the person they are with. 

4. He adds a password to his phone

Like not adding you to his social media account, your partner might be cheating if he adds a password to his phone, especially if this is a new occurrence. This is especially indicative of cheating ways if he is protective of his phone, not letting you see what he’s up to, who he’s talking to, or where he’s been. It’s a sign he’s hiding something from you.

5. You just have a gut feeling

Woman Thinking

You may just have a weird feeling that something is not right in the relationship. Pay close attention and trust your instincts; after all, you don’t want to sit around, blindly believing lies and deception. Know your man’s habits, attitudes, and routines, so you know when something doesn’t add up.

This will give you the opportunity to be rightfully suspicious when things aren’t adding up. Often, it’s our intuition that leads us in the right direction in life. Notice when things are just off and put your guard up. 

6. He won’t introduce you to his friends

If you have been dating this guy for quite some time, like months, you have probably heard him talk about his best friends. You may be wondering why you haven’t been introduced to them yet - a rightful concern. If he is serious about you and the relationship you’ve started, he would most likely introduce you to the people he values the most.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Ask yourself, “Why is he keeping me at bay?” Unfortunately, keeping you a secret is usually not a good sign. He may be dating multiple people, or you may just be his girl on the side; he may not have the desire to explain to other people who you are and why he’s with you. This may be a source of confusion for him. 

7. He turns off the locator on his phone

If you and your partner usually share your phone’s location with one another, like with the application called “Find My Friends,” and all of a sudden, he or she turns it off, that could be a red flag. This is especially true if they were previously very open about sharing their location with you, and now, it’s periodically or permanently turned off. 

Ask yourself, “Why would he need to turn the locator on his phone off?” Is he just going somewhere that he doesn’t want you to know about, like a flower shop? That’s a valid reason, but if he does this frequently without a valid excuse as to where he’s been, that’s cause for concern. Why would he not want you to know where he’s been?

8. He spends more time with his friends

Friends Out Drinking

Of course, all men need to have “boys’ night out.” However, if they have recently become more frequent, it may mean he’s cheating on you. He may not really be out with his friends but instead is seeing another woman. That’s not okay; before accusing him of cheating, though, make sure the signs are there; he may actually be out with friends.

9. He is distracted by anything other than you

While you may have become comfortable in the relationship and just don’t feel the need to talk with each other a lot, if he can’t even carry on a conversation with you anymore, there may be someone besides you who has captured his attention. Does he seem more distracted by his phone or the television than he is with you?

Has the spark disappeared? Are you concerned that you two are not connecting emotionally anymore? These are valid concerns and signs he’s cheating, but keep in mind that he may just be cozy being with you. He may no longer feel the need to pay that much attention to you. 

This is not a good sign, though, as he may have lost interest in you or in the relationship, the two of you share. Watch out for this one, as he may have decided to let the flame burn out slowly. Some men get lazy when it comes to doing the work in a relationship, but you don’t want one who doesn’t value you anymore. You deserve better than that.

10. He is having a lot of private conversations

Does he step outside to have conversations on his phone? Does he spend a lot of time in the bathroom with his cell phone? Do you notice that when you are watching television or whatever that he’s laughing and playing on his phone, not sharing with you what he finds so interesting? Do you feel neglected or replaced by his phone activity?

None of these things are good signs! They actually indicate that something is up. Maybe he has decided you are not the one who deserves his attention or he’s cheating on you with someone else. If he’s clearly less interested in making it work with you, you may want to throw this one back in the water and find a person who values you.

11. He is acting emotionally distant

Man Using His Laptop While Girlfriend Looks On

Is he acting emotionally distant? Is he withdrawing from you on a deeper level, choosing to only talk about trivial things like what’s for dinner? When you try to ask him about your mood swings, do you find him recoiling, becoming very protective of his private life - something he should be happy to share with you? This can be a sign he’s straying.

12. He is disinterested in sex

According to Cosmo magazine, if you feel a shift in the romantic energy that you share with your partner or if they’ve turned off the faucet completely, it’s a possible sign that he is getting his sexual fulfillment somewhere else. After all, it’s pretty well known that men need a certain amount of sex in their lives to feel complete (so do women)!

Ask yourself, “Why would his sex drive change suddenly?”

13. He has an additional phone

The sudden appearance of a new phone, like a burner, is an odd indicator that something is going on. Why would he need an extra cell phone? Did his job give him an additional phone, or did he purchase it so he could have private calls and texts that you wouldn’t know about? This is a concern that should be addressed.

14. Your friends or family ask you what’s going on

Woman Comforting Her Friend

You may be blissfully happy, ignorantly able to look past all the signs he’s cheating on you, but people who are outside of your relationship may see things that you don’t. Have they been asking if everything is okay regularly? You may want to ask them why they are asking; maybe they saw him with someone else in a public place. 

If your friends and family think something is going on, your partner might be cheating on you. Why else would they ask that? What is the motivation behind that question? Of course, it could be an innocent question; someone may just want to check in on your situation - marriage or whatever. It’s still a good idea to find out why they are concerned.

My grandmother frequently asks if everything is okay between my man and me, even though she has no reason for concern. I know why she does this, though. She’s seen a lot of heartbreak in the relationships with family members, so she just wants to make sure she’s emotionally prepared in case she has to have her heart broken again.

15. Things just don’t add up

This is one of the worst signs he’s cheating on you. His stories don’t really make sense. If he was with so-and-so on a certain night but says he hadn’t seen that friend in weeks, that just doesn’t add up. Usually, when you confront a guy about something like this, they’ll just sink themselves deeper and deeper into lies that don’t make sense.

Usually, time will reveal the truth, but in the meantime, it just sucks; I know; I’ve been there. Plus, unfortunately, as you try to make the situation make sense, they just start being defensive because they are “tired of talking about it,” when really they are just tired of covering their butts! If you have valid concerns, hire a private detective!

16. You are no longer invited to events

Were you once invited to all of his work functions, and now it seems like there are none? This is one of those signs of a cheater that is pretty easy to recognize. He may very well still be going to these activities, but he’s cheating and taking someone else. No one wants to be treated this way. If you know of a work event, you may want to show up!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

That way, you can get to the bottom of the situation to see why you are no longer included in things that you once were. Plus, if your partner is cheating, you will find out for sure. Wouldn’t you rather know if he is cheating?

17. You found money missing from your joint accounts

Coins And A Piggy Bank

If you see a lot of ATM withdrawals that he can’t or won’t explain in your joint accounts, this could be cause for concern. There is an easy way to find out if cheating is the cause of the disappearance of funds, though; simply, tell him you are creating a budget and need to know what category to put those ATM withdrawals in. 

True, he may lie, but at least you’ll be able to gauge his reaction to what you have to see. His inability to come up with real answers could give you a clue that he’s been cheating on you or keeping something from you.

18. He changes his views on your future together

Be cautious if your man talks negatively about your relationship. He may throw out negative scenarios, saying things like, “What would you do if we were to break up?” He might be testing the waters to see what you would think if things changed in your relationship, as a way to make sure you’d be okay if he decided to end things.

He may say things in an effort to see how you’d react if he decides to break up with you and get permanently hooked up with his side lover. Why else would he say that? If you find him saying odd things like this, you may just have a cheater on your hands. Guard your heart and feelings closely because he may hurt you.

19. He begins skipping out on social/family functions

There’s a good chance if your man is cheating that he won’t want to be around his usual crowd, especially if it includes people he’s known longer than you. They may be able to tell (easier than you can) that he is actually doing something devious like cheating.

20. He says you are no longer fun

Couple Arguing Husband Drinking

I watch a lot of cheesy romantic comedies - lame, I know. I have seen a common theme when guys are cheating, though. They tend to tell their women that they just are no longer fun or that they are no longer happy. What kind of question or comment is that? How can you even fix that except to try to change the core of who you are? 

21. He starts keeping his finances separate from yours

Is he being secretive about his spending? Has he changed the way he manages his finances so that you don’t know when he spends money and how much he spends? He may not want you to know where he’s at, with whom, and what he’s up to. If he’s keeping his finances private, you probably don’t know what he’s up to!

By doing this, he’s able to do things without your knowledge. He also isn’t held accountable for how he spends his money; he doesn’t have to explain anything to you because you don’t know what’s going on - the who, what, where, and why of it all. He may be spending his hard-earned cash on someone else. That’s a possibility.

While it’s true that he may just want to surprise you with a gift, like roses, without you knowing what he’s doing, that shouldn’t be an everyday secret. Keeping secrets and lying in relationships is never a healthy thing. It fosters mistrust and confusion; after all, how can you trust a person who frequently lies to you about where the money goes?

22. You find clues that he’s been with someone other than you

Wife Checking Husbands Phone

Lipstick on the collar, glitter on his clothes, or perfume on his shirt are never good signs. They usually mean a man is up to something that he shouldn’t be doing since he’s really with you. Of course, if you suspect your man of cheating, look for these signs and ask for an explanation. He may lie, so watch out for this kind of defensiveness.

23. He is never home or works late

The age-old excuse of “I have to work late” is still one of the signs of cheating, unfortunately. True, men have become more clever, found ways to “prove” they were really at the office, even if they weren’t, but it remains common excuses men give their women when really they are just seeing someone new.

24. He starts wearing new cologne

Why would your man need to wear a new cologne if you are right here, happy with his normal scent? It’s true that he may just want to try something different, but why cologne? And, what else is he “trying” that’s different? Is he perhaps trying a new person on, too? These are valid concerns that you should watch out for.

25. He is overly attentive to your needs

Sweet Couple Cuddling

Sometimes, guys compensate for their cheating behavior by giving their women much more attention than normal. This is definitely a cause for concern; you may want to see what else has changed in his behavior to see if a pattern emerges.

26. He starts pointing out your flaws more than usual

No one enjoys fighting, and if he’s started picking on you, putting you down, he may just be looking for an excuse to end it with you. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to be with someone who treats me this way?”

27. He cares more about the way he looks

While many men (and women) change the way they look as they age and grow as individuals, a sudden change in wardrobe is a strange occurrence and may be a sign that you are being cheated on. Ask yourself, “Who is he trying to impress?” Why would he feel the need to get a “new look” if you are happy with his current one?

Cosmo dating expert, Chris Pleines, explains that couples often care less about the way they look when they feel secure in their current relationship. This means if your spouse or boyfriend is suddenly buying new clothes or accessories or spending more time in front of the mirror, checking himself out, he may just be up to something dishonest.

28. He has a sudden change in tastes

Does he like new music, movie genres, or sports teams? What has him so interested in something new? If you haven’t changed your taste and he has, you may want to investigate why he’s acting differently, especially if this has happened all of a sudden.

29. He doesn’t seem to like stuff about you that he used to love

He used to love the way you chewed your cereal, your silly faces, and the clothes you wore. Now, he’s overly critical, not liking even the little things that he used to love. This is a sign he’s looking for a way out, but not always. He may have just changed his opinion about you, but do you actually want to be with a person that doesn’t value you?

30. He stops sleeping in the same bed as you

Man Sleeping On The Couch

I’m a strong believer that it’s okay for couples to sleep in separate beds if one person snores and another is a light sleeper or other sleep disturbances occur in the relationship. I support this because we all need a good night’s rest, and without adequate sleep, we become careless, irritable, and disoriented. 

However, if you two were able to sleep just fine together for a long period of time and he suddenly enjoys sleeping on the couch over the bed with you, that could be a red flag. He may find this change in scenery comforting because, with you, he just can’t sleep due to the guilt he’s feeling about being unfaithful. 

31. He acts guilty when you do nice things for him

My favorite medical drama, House, has a character, Taub, in it, who was cheating on his wife, who decided to buy him his dream car. This made his guilt so overwhelming that he revealed the truth to her - he’s been cheating for a long time. In the end, (spoiler alert), it didn’t work out, but at least she learned the truth about her husband.

32. He starts buying you lots of gifts

Husband Giving Flowers To Wife

This is one of those obvious red flags that a guy is going somewhere else for fulfillment. He feels guilty about that and is trying to make up for it through various purchases for you, like flowers. 

33. He gets offended or touchy very easily

Someone who is overly defensive when asked a simple question is usually hiding things. He may be cheating if he blows up over stupid stuff. Keep in mind, he may just be stressing about another part of his life, like work, but it’s a good idea to get to the bottom of what’s going on.

34. He talks too much about someone

According to Cosmo’s marriage and family therapist, Anita Chlipala, your partner may be interested or seeing someone besides you if they frequently talk about someone, bring them up in almost every conversation, or find ways to gripe about them all the time, it could be a sign of cheating. 

35. He takes more showers than usual

One of my favorite comedians, Dane Cook, explained in one of his stand-up appearances that he had to sneak into the shower after cheating so that he could get the glitter and smell off himself. He said, “Did I rob a janitor?” when he explained how he was trying to quietly put his keys away.

FAQs

How do I know if my boyfriend is cheating?

Watch for some of the signs listed in this article, like suspicious behavior. If your boyfriend is acting out of sorts, he may be doing something behind your back, and you don’t want to have that in your life. Find out if he’s cheating before giving your heart away.

How do you find out if someone is cheating?

You can do some detective work; I’m not a strong believer in this, but if you really want the truth, give it a shot. Follow him when you think he is cheating, or consider hiring an actual private investigator to get to the bottom of what’s going on.

What are the chances of your boyfriend cheating?

One of the main reasons for divorce is infidelity, so there are pretty good odds that at least half of all relationships have some form of cheating in them. Try to build trust with your partner so that you won’t have to worry about this.

How do you tell if your partner is lying about cheating?

When someone is lying, they look up because they are trying to access the creative side of their brain to come up with the lie they are telling you. They may also shift in their body language or take a pause as they try to come up with an excuse.

How do you test a guy to see if he really loves you?

You can tell him the reasons why you think the two of you shouldn’t be together. If he quickly jumps on board with the conversation, he’s not very invested in you. If he stands his ground, he wants to be with you and may love you.

To Sum Things Up...

Are you in a relationship where you suspect cheating or dishonesty is going on? Remember that you deserve to be respected; you don’t have to put up with a person sneaking around, lying to you about what they’ve been up to.

If you enjoyed this article, please comment and share!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Michele Kelsey
After decades of experience dating, I finally found my prince. It was not an easy road. I kissed plenty of frogs to find Mr. Right and learned a lot from my mistakes. I enjoy writing and feel especially lucky that I get to share my expertise on my favorite subject – love. I’ve been happily married for almost a decade now, but I love giving relationship advice.

One comment on “Is He Cheating On Me? (35 Alarming Signs Your Husband Or Boyfriend Is A Cheat)”

  1. I'm not sure what's going on I just started a new relationship it's been going on for about a year and he doesn't really hide his phone he is overly attentive to my needs holds my hands, busys me gifts, kisses holds me but sometimes I don't know if I'm losing my mind but I hear him whisper like he is taking to someone. He also blames me for alot of things. Even when it's not my fault. He complains and says I don't give him much privacy but I also think he has two phones. He doesn't hide me on his social accounts and we take a lot of pictures together it just seems like things are changing and I'm scared. I really do love this man and I don't want to get hurt.

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