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Is He Cheating? (28 Alarming Signs That Your Husband Or Boyfriend Is A Cheat)

by Sonya Schwartz

You're probably here because you suspect that he is cheating on you?

Are you worried about the suspicious behavior of your boyfriend or husband?

Are you losing endless hours of sleep due to the sadness and uncertainty as to what is going on in your relationship?

If so, then it's super important you find out what is going on so that you can get your life back...

It's July 2020 already and it's about time you figure out what's going on in your relationship so you don't waste any more time.

The first thing you will want to do is actually rule out that he's seeing someone else right now and cheating on you.

Even if he says he isn't, he's may be covering it up so it's extremely important that you investigate a little further to make sure that he isn't.

A great way to rule this out is by using an online tool like this (click here to check it out).

Just enter his name and details and this tool will show you any secret dating profiles he has, who he's frequently communicating with online, and a bunch of other info which will allow you to draw your own conclusions as to whether he may be cheating on you or not.

It turns out that some women even discovered that the man they had been dating for years was already married.

How crazy is that?

Of course, it's not what you hope in your case, but you should rule it out nonetheless - and the most effective way is with this tool.

Once you've ruled that out, it's time to dig a little deeper.

Let's investigate some other potential signs that he may be cheating.

28 Signs of a Cheater - Do All Men Cheat?

1. Lipstick On His Collar

Lipstick on collar

There may be an honest reason why there is lipstick on his clothes from the night before such as some drunk woman throwing herself on him but that’s rare so if you find lipstick or makeup on his shirt it’s worth questioning him about it.

Make sure that the lipstick or makeup is 100% not your own first though as making a false accusation could damage your relationship.

2. Longer Working Days


If all of a sudden your guy is working longer days and doing a lot of overtime then it may be worth investigating as he very well could be spending those hours with another woman.

3. He’s Not Present

woman eating dinner alone

Even when your guy is with you at home or out on a date, he can still not be present and be with you. This means that even when he is sitting next to you at home or having dinner, he is in his own little world and hardly noticing you are there.

Saying this however, when it’s a sport day and my husband’s team is playing, I can ask him a question about something and be completely ignored as if I don’t even exist. I always tell him it’s like talking to a brick wall sometimes when the football is on.

4. He’s Starting To Dress Better


Another major tell-tale red flag that your man may be cheating on you is if he is starting to make more of an effort with the way he is dressing. For example, if he usually goes to work in an old suit and bed hair but then all of a sudden starts going to work in top quality suits, his hair neatly gelled back and expensive cuff links then it is time to start wondering.

There could very well be an honest reason for your man dressing better for work though such as if he has received a promotion or if a promotion is coming up and he wants to be picked. If there is nothing happening with his work though and he starts dressing better than it is certainly behavior that is worth investigating.

5. Enthusiastic About A New Colleague

I will go back to my friend who was having an affair with one of her colleagues for this one. I remember me and my husband going to a wedding where my friend and her partner were also in attendance. As the night went on, I noticed a few times that my friend kept bringing up conversation about her ‘friend’ at work and how she done this and done that. I wonder whether her partner ever had a feeling that she was having an affair.

6. He Doesn’t Notice You Anymore

It’s a sad thing when you feel you aren't being noticed by your man anymore. This could be a sign that he didn't notice your new haircut or that you have lost weight. If your man has always been one not to notice these things then it doesn't mean he is having an affair. For example, I was watching one of the old Home Improvements episodes the other day where Jill had gotten an entirely new haircut and Tim, her husband, didn't even notice but he wasn't having an affair.

7. Hints From Family And Friends

When my friend was cheating on her partner, I had only ever met her partner once and so there was never a chance for hints of cheating. If you start noticing your friends or family having awkward silences when talking about how much you love your man or when they laugh awkwardly when you joke about him cheating, then they might know something you don’t.

8. Your Intuition

Woman Intuition

Sometimes you just have to follow your gut instinct; you can’t pinpoint what it is that makes you feel that your man is cheating but you just have a gut instinct that he is. If you can easily become the green eye monster and have ruined relationships in the past because of false accusations and constant jealousy then you need to start building your self-esteem and trust levels.

9. His Accusations


One of the defenses cheaters use is accusation attacks on you to make you feel that you’re in the wrong. If you are sure that your man is cheating and have asked about it and responds by accusing you of being crazy or jealous then it doesn't mean that you are as technically he hasn't answered your question.

If your man really hasn't cheated on you then he should be hurt that you would think that and not defensive and accuse you being jealous. He might have a very good and honest as to why he has a cleared his text messages and calls such as having full storage buy you won’t know if you don’t ask.

10. Offering To Show You His Texts And Emails


This may sound like a strange one but it is actually a good telling sign that your man may be cheating. It is easy to clear all text messages and calls from your phone and even now delete specific text message and calls but for some reason, cheating men don’t think that we women know about this.

If your man offers to show you his phone but refuses to show you his phone bill then that should certainly be setting off alarm bells.

11. Being Overly Nice

If you notice that your man is being overly nice to your recently the he very well could be cheating. He could randomly start buying you flowers, chocolates, jewelry or taking you out more. While you may be enjoying all these gifts, if it isn't something he usually does then it might raise alarm bells.

12. Constantly Picking Faults

While I have mentioned about men who cheat which suddenly start becoming overly nice, it could actually be the polar opposite in other men. Some men very well start becoming overly picky by constantly picking out your faults no matter how small or big. It could be something as silly as you putting a fork in the drawer the wrong way or you eating crisps too loudly, or it could be something bigger.

13. He Has Unpredictable Mood Swings


One the biggest signs that a man is cheating on you is that he has unpredictable mood swings such as from going from happy to all of a sudden explosively angry or from acting normal and suddenly starts being overly nice. If you notice that the smallest of things set him off or that he is acting very differently lately then unfortunately it could mean bad news.

It was actually my friend who told me of this sign as she said looking back, after finding out her boyfriend was cheating, she remembered that he would sometimes start the most strangest of fights with her and would storm out of the hours and not come back for hours. She now thinks that he caused those fights on purpose so he could get away when he ran out of all other excuses.

14. His Quick Change In Weight And Appearance

man impressing women

When me and my husband first started dating or at the early stages of our relationship, his physique was very much chiselled and he was very much into his designer clothing. As time has gone on, he still goes to the gym and is in good shape however not so chiselled as before. He will also hang out in his sweats and sometimes goes days before shaving. I also know that he doesn’t wear aftershave when he goes the shops or out and about. Because I know all this, I would find it shady if one day he started going to the 'shops’ with a clean shaven face, his best clothes and aftershave.

15. Change In Tastes Overnight

man listening to music

While there is nothing wrong in trying something new, it is a bit worrying if your man start playing jazz music because he says there is a woman in work who said it was really good and now he thinks it’s really good. This means he is interested in that woman and wants to have something in common with her or admires her tastes so much so that he wants to have the same tastes so as to impress her.

16. His Story Changes

man telling a story to a woman

One of the biggest tell-tale signs that your man is cheating is if his story about a recent weekend away, night out with the lads or trip to the shops has changed. For example, your man may have come back from a weekend away and said he stayed in a triple room with friends but later slips up about the double bed being uncomfortable when he told you earlier it was three single beds. This is a sure sign of shadiness and should certainly start set your alarm bells ringing.

17. He Now Needs A Lot More Privacy Than He Did Before

man alone in the room

If you notice your man is starting to need a lot more privacy lately he might be up to something which I know you don’t want to think about but it may be worth looking into without getting too obsessive. For example, if you notice that your man is spending much more time in another room than usual then it could be possible that he is chatting online or texting with his mistress.

18. There Is Change In His Sexual Appetite

This doesn't mean whether there is more or less sex, this means if his sexual tastes have changed out of the blue. For example, he has always liked it when you are on top but then suddenly decides he doesn't like this anymore, or during one session he starts talking crudely to you which he has never done before. Whatever the sudden change is, it may be worth asking after why. Ask this casually though so that you can see his honest response. If he gets slightly defensive or looks a bit panicky then it could be cause for concern.

19. He Is Being Secretive About His Financial History

If you normally share everything financially or if you don’t share everything but he is usually open about his finances and suddenly very secretive about it then he could be spending money on another woman. Bank statements don’t just have to have hotel names on to prove he is cheating, he could have set up a PayPal account or another bank account to transfer money to. In this case, you may notice large sums of money being transferred regularly to the same bank account.

20. He Is Being Secretive With His Phone

Another one of the biggest signs of a cheater is when he is being overly secretive about his phone lately. Sometimes I ask my husband if I can use his iPhone so I can set the timer for the pasta when my phone is upstairs or if I need to print something because it doesn't seem to work from my phone. My husband never has a problem with the small requests so if one day he said no or got angry with me then I would know it is strange and shady behavior which would I would have concern about.

21. You’ve Stopped Having Sex

Stopped Having Sex

I have spoken about him having sudden changes in sexual tastes but another sign of him cheating is if the sex stops completely or significantly reduces. If your man is already satisfied, he won’t need to be satisfied when he is at home with you. If however, you have been in a relationship for quite some time then the sex can naturally dry up so the concern may not be as strong as someone who has sex regularly.

22. He’s All Of A Sudden Jealous

man being Jealous

You may have already heard of this one before, I know I've heard it quite a few times but whether you have or your haven’t it should definitely still be placed on this list. It is a strange thing but very common that men (and even women) will act extremely jealous when it is actually them who is cheating. This is because they know they are cheating and start to wonder whether you are doing the same.

23. Neither Of You Are Happy

man and woman not talking

This is probably a red flag and you may want to sit down and talk about how you can both be happy in the relationship or that it is time to walk away. If you are both unhappy then it may be motivation for him to find happiness elsewhere. If this is a relationship that when asking yourself you are not happy with then you may just want to walk away anyway.

24. He Over Explains Things


If you notice your man goes into far too many details when explaining things then it could be a worry. If it is something he usually does and has always done then of course there shouldn't be anything to worry about. If it is a new development then it is time you start finding out why.

25. He’s Always Defensive

defensive man

If you ask a simple, relevant and reasonable question such as “where were you last night, I text to say goodnight but never got a reply” and he goes defensive and maybe even aggressive then something isn't right. I know my husband is hopeless with his phone when he goes out with friends once in a blue moon and when I ask where he was, he never gets defensive… he just answers the question. If one day though I ask where he was and he gets defensive and starts accusing me of being controlling then I know something would be wrong.

26. His Body Language Has Changed

This may seem like a strange one but it can certainly go a long way in telling you whether you man has changed the way he feels about you and even whether he thinking about someone else. This is a sign more for those who have been with their men for quite some time and have come to learn his body language through and through.

27. He Is Suddenly Meticulously Clean

man shaving

If your boyfriend never usually cleans his car all of the time or doesn't really bother with his apartment but now suddenly his apartment is always spectacularly clean and he is out cleaning his car all of the time, then he may very well be cleaning it for another woman or hiding the evidence.

28. Perfume On His Clothing… That Isn’t Yours

man perfuming

If when doing the laundry one day you notice that his shirts or clothing have a distinct scent of perfume that you know isn’t yours, could very well mean he is having an affair. This sign is right up there with the lipstick on the color as in there is hardly any excuse that led to that perfume being on his clothing.

Does He Show Signs of Cheating or Is He Just Going Through A Rough Time?


Some of the red flags mentioned above may not mean that your man is 100% cheating on you and may mean that he is actually going through a rough time and is hiding it from you by carrying the burden himself. It could be that he has lost his job but doesn't want you to worry and so he is carrying the burden himself and pretending to go to work each day. This will inevitably lead to him taking on the same traits as those who are cheating.

Don’t Make Accusations That He Cheated If You Don't Have Proof

Man with kisses on a collar

I have mentioned it over and over again throughout this blog post as it is very important. Do not make accusations without backing it up with sufficient evidence as if you are wrong, it could cause damage to your relationship.


How Do I Find Out If He's Cheating?

The cheating signs are straightforward to spot in guys and girls alike. With guys, they tend to care about their appearance more than usual, they avoid intimacy with you, often claiming to be very busy with work when there's nothing to do.

How Can You Tell If Someone Is Guilty Of Cheating?

If you're not able to read body language to decipher if your partner is cheating, there are other ways to find out. One way is via their friends or your friends that know them. Also, pay extra attention to their social media use and the sound of their voice when talking to others. The last step is to look out for any weird behavior, which might suggest shifted interests.

Why Do We Cheat On Someone We Love?

Love is a very tricky thing, in that one can be in love with more than one person at a time. This is why many people end up cheating on their partners. Our romantic thoughts can switch from one person to another in a second, intentionally or unintentionally.

How Does Cheating Affect A Man?

Cheating affects both parties, the person who cheats, and the one being cheated on. Men especially get concerned when they're cheated on. Some end up feeling insecure about themselves, and as such, they have an anxious attachment to their partner. Such instances can break them and affect how they love or trust.

How Do You Trust A Cheater?

Trusting someone who's cheated on you before can be very tough. These people often give an excellent reason why they behaved the way they did, even when the reason Is flimsy. Trusting such a person again will require some amount of counseling or therapy involving both parties and a professional relationship expert. Regaining trust can only work if both parties are willing to work at it.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

25 comments on “Is He Cheating? (28 Alarming Signs That Your Husband Or Boyfriend Is A Cheat)”

  1. Thanks for the suggestions in this post. At this point I'm not a 100% sure if my boyfriend is cheating on me but his actions have been rather suspicious. I'm going to try out some of the suggestions in this post and hopefully I can figure out why he's been acting so suspicious.

    1. Ok I have a bf since feb.5th well on Valentine's day he bought me a beautiful necklace and he has a lot of girls as his friend and stuff and one morning he was walking this girl to the school building and to class and I said he to him he moved quickly away from her and he said oh sorry was walking my friend to class and stuff but idk maybe he was being truthful well I do trust him he has never lied to me at all and I've known him for years but like my guy just saying something ain't adding up correctly cuz this weekend he was at his guy friend house playing video games with the boys Monday thru Wednesday and came back home and just now he told me he's painting his guys friend house rn and can't see me this Sunday cuz he needs money so idk plz help me

  2. Hello I have a problem when I am on the phone with my man it feels like he doing something he is not suppose too how do I know what he is doing

  3. My gut was telling me my SO was lying, cheating, being a player, even though he was telling "theres only you" "I love you" "Im not seeing anyone else" So I planted a secret voice recorder under his sofa …. yes, he was cheating, sleeping with escorts & his married neighbour!! Trust your Gut

    1. Hi Diane
      I'm having the same issue my boyfriend hides his phone, makes his money secretive doesn't like me touching his phone won't let me look through his phone, lies about speaking to his ex, smelt like perfume and other smells he's hidden his friends on Facebook.

    2. Hi Diane He's saying the same thing as your man said to you that he loves me I'm the only one for him, I'm the only one that he loves, trouble is I've got a baby now that I'm carrying which is his so what do I do? How do I find out wether he is cheating on me or not?

  4. Most wimen cause this problem to themselves by getting lazy, getting fat & getting boring. Ever since i stripped my weight introduced a few toys to the bedroom and paid attention to my man instead of watching tv or my phone, I only need to walk by him in a g-string & he wants nothing more than to thrust his cock in me. Seriously men are easy to tame, turn that sex tap off & they will lose intersest and the relationship will be doomed. Spontaneity will get you everything you need, my man will suck my pussy for an hour a few nights a week just becauae i talked to him about his day or laughed with him.

    1. Hi Donna B
      You say this that women are boring but when your pregnant you can't exactly do what your suggesting and my boyfriend is very selfish when it comes to the bedroom not every person's relationship is perfect.

    2. That is a load of crap, it's not the women's fault her sorry man decided to cheat. If a man cheats he has the problem. If the relationship is not working then end it and move on. Why play games with someone's heart.

  5. Hi Diane He's saying the same thing as your man said to you that he loves me I'm the only one for him, I'm the only one that he loves, trouble is I've got a baby now that I'm carrying which is his so what do I do? How do I find out wether he is cheating on me or not?

  6. "Thrust His Cock"....seriously? Who writes like that? And why are you even in this discussion if you're so happy in your relationship? Did you feel that you had to write that sexually explicit response to make other women feel bad? Because you're sex life it's soooo amazing? Nobody gives a sh*t about your fake news. Men will cheat if they want to. Period. All it takes is ONE moment of weakness and that's it. So troll another site, you are nothing more than a hindrance in our search for answers.

    1. Yes that's right men will cheat if they want if some hot slore gives him the chance he will. No matter how good your sex life is no matter what you do in the bedroom no matter how you keep yourself in shape and looking pretty if he gets a chance he's not going to reject it.. SORRY..
      I was his wh*re that wasn't good enough.

  7. I think.my boyfriend is cheating on me.We only see each other twice a month and he gets his grandson every 2 weeks.He takes his phone with him every and he says he is in the news on his phone.He got drunk one time and I saw him looking at another lady dancing.Then he told me he was not looking at her lady.I'm not aloud to go to his house.

  8. I was with a man for 28 years and I found out that he was texting a lady she was sending him flower,coffee.and a kiss and I confronted him so I was so mad and I left him.so it pas 1 years I found a man in cuba and his 39 and I’m 59 and we got married .and know my ex find out and know he want to come back to me he said he love Me And crying all the time .I don’t know what to do.i think I’m in love with two mans.is that’s posible are can be truth ,what should I do.

  9. I think all men are conniving clean liars all they do is lie and all they cheat at the end of all everything you gave you put up with and you have to deal with economic chance and they're too quick to f*ck that up I'm a man eating my pussy and he called me by another name another bitches name .. waaa no he jus f*kn yes he f*kn did old bird azz pigeon

  10. We didn’t have sex last night. He come home from work I smelled his duck and it smelled like sex.. stinky. Is he cheating ?

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