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What Does Cheating Say About A Person? (5 Important Things)

by Sonya Schwartz

Have you ever worried about what cheating says about a person? It could be that you are the person who has cheated, or it could be that your significant other has cheated on you and you are now worried about what that says about them. 

Sadly cheating happens in relationships and it is quite common. Here, in this article, we look at both what cheating says about a person in-depth, but also the warning signs that your partner is cheating. By listing these warning signals that your other half is a cheater, you will hopefully spare yourself too much pain. 

Warning Signs That Your Partner Is Cheating

Here are five ways to tell whether your partner is cheating on you with someone else or not. These don’t all have to be displayed in their behavior for them to be cheating on you, just one or two can transpire. It’s good to keep an eye out for any or all of them therefore so that you can meet this issue in your relationship as soon as it starts. By tackling it head it on as quickly as possible, you are likely to minimize the impact it has on you or your partner. 

They Make Weird Excuses.

When people cheat on their partner, they are likely to make really strange and weird excuses about their whereabouts a lot of the time. It may start off with just a funny reason to be out once in a while and then it will develop into stranger and stranger excuses as time goes on. 

The reason they make odd excuses is that they are off seeing their other girlfriend or boyfriend. While that may be stating the obvious, this is sometimes a sign that is easily overlooked in a relationship as we naturally want to trust our partner

The reason that strange excuses can transpire is that a cheater will want to think that new, odd explanations for absences are more believable than little white lies about their whereabouts. Also, people lie with extreme alibis when they are caught having to think up an excuse quickly when questioned about where they have been or where they are going. 

They’re On Their Phone A Lot.

As we are all using our phones more and more these days, one of the most key ways that we can tell if a partner is cheating on us is if they are on their phone a lot. They are most likely messaging away as it means they can do so in front of you without you listening in on their conversation. Sadly, while technology can help us in so many ways, it does enable people to cheat more easily as texting or messaging through apps like Whatsapp can help two people cheating flirt with one another without the need for a phone call or even seeing one another. 

They Are Always Working Late.

If your partner is all of a sudden working late, and working late a lot of the time, it could be that he or she is cheating on you or going outside of the relationship to fulfill his or her sex life. In many instances, thankfully, when we have a partner who is in the office a lot, they are actually working late and simply trying to further their career. However, it is such an easy excuse to make when having an affair. 

This is a difficult sign to call out your partner on if you suspect they are having an affair - as the natural reaction is to be very defensive when questioned about the validity of the reason for coming home later and later. However, if your partner cheats the fact of the matter is, he or she is more likely to have a stronger defensive reaction than if they are actually working late. If you approach your other half about whether all their late nights are actually their way of meeting up with another person, be open and frank with them. If they are sensitive to your fears, the likelihood is that they are not cheating on you. 

They Don’t Reciprocate Affection.

When partners start cheating on their other half, there tends to be a huge decrease in the amount of affection that is seen in a relationship. The reason that this happens is when a person cheats, they are getting their fill of affection elsewhere through what is inevitably a highly sexual affair. People will naturally stop touching or be less tactile with their long term partners if they have been tactile with another person. 

If you suspect your partner is having an affair, therefore, ask yourself whether he or she has stopped touching you so much or stopped initiating sex with you. If anything, this gives you the opportunity to bring up an issue between the two of you. You could broach the fact that you have seen a large dip in affection and that you are worried as to why. In doing so, your partner may admit that he or she is a cheater or they may simply allay your fears as to the true reason for not reciprocating affection. There could be a perfectly plausible reason for it that doesn’t include being a cheater.  

They Don’t Make Plans With You.

A key way of identifying the chance that your other half could be seeing someone outside of your relationship is to notice whether he or she makes plans with you in the future. They can be small or big plans, but he or she needs to be making them with you if he is happy in your relationship and wants to see you as they should in a happy couple. 

For example, they could ask you about going out for dinner during the week or going on any other date. Or, they could talk through the future with you about whether you should move in together, get married, go on holiday or meet each other’s parents. Whichever it is, if they stop doing any of this completely, they could well be seeing other people. 

What Cheating Can Say About A Person

Being a cheater can say a lot about a person - not all of it is that the person is fundamentally bad at their core. Cheating is often a signal for many other more deep-seated issues that a person suffers from. 

1. Unhappy

If a person cheats on their partner it can be a sign of their unhappiness. This could be because the relationship isn’t right or because they are suffering from a form of depression. When people are unhappy, they can make decisions that they would not ordinarily do under normal circumstances. 

If you feel that this is the case with your partner who you suspect to be a cheater, open up to him or her about your suspicions and ask whether there is something bigger at play. They will most probably be glad that you broached the subject as it will make them feel like they can talk about their sadness - even if it is because there is something in your relationship that is not making them happy. 

2. Insecure

One major thing that cheating can say about a person is the fact that they are very insecure if they are unfaithful outside of their main relationship. Insecurity can mean that they seek a confidence boost and bolstering of their ego by feeling attractive to other people. 

As ever, this can be very upsetting because the fact of the matter is your partner has still cheated on you. However, if you feel that your partner is having sex outside of your relationship because they are insecure, talk to them about how their actions make you feel, but also emphasize that you love them and find them physically attractive still. Ask them if there is a reason that they feel insecure and see if there is a way you can help

3. Selfish

One major thing that cheating can say about people is that they are selfish. This is perhaps one of the most common characteristics that a cheater always has as part of the personality. Sadly, a selfish cheater just won’t think about the implications of their actions on either their long term partner or the person that they are having an affair with. They will simply be thinking of themselves and how they need to have their needs met - in or out of a relationship. 

4. Emotionally Immature

People who cheat are often said to be emotionally immature. It is an extension of being selfish as they can’t think of how others will be affected by them having an affair or sex with other people. If your other half is emotionally immature, you may notice that they often put themselves first before you and do not think in advance about what you may need. They may argue in ways that seem very self-centered and greedy, and may not support you at times that you feel like you need to have their help. 

5. Commitment Issues

Many people will say that one of the reasons that an ex had cheated on them was due to commitment issues that meant that they did not want to be tied down to one person. People cheat therefore as a way to either deliberately sabotage a relationship that they feel is getting too serious, or simply because they want to convince themselves that they are not with someone for the long term. 

FAQs

Why Do People Cheat In A Relationship?

No one starts a relationship to cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend, yet people cheat for all manner of reasons in reality. There is no one reason that people cheat, but commonly it is because someone is unhappy in a relationship or they are simply too selfish to stay monogamous. 

Is It Normal To Cheat In A Relationship?

It is not normal to cheat in a relationship that is meant to be monogamous. To some, they may be happy with the prospect of an open relationship where it is ok to see other people. However, to most, cheating is not a wanted thing to have present in a long term partnership. 

How Do You Get Someone To Tell The Truth About Cheating?

There are many ways to get people to say that they are cheating or have been unfaithful. Perhaps the most effective is asking a person outright if they are going behind your back. Some will deny it so it can be helpful to have some evidence to back up your worries. 

Is Cheating Common?

Cheating is common amongst some types of people and not common amongst others. Typically, if a person has commitment issues or has large insecurities or is selfish, they are more likely to be a cheater. 

Should You Admit To Cheating?

While it can be tough to admit that you have cheated on a girlfriend or boyfriend, it is a good idea to be open and frank about what you have done. The reason being is that the truth may come out from other people, and so it is always best to come from you instead. 

The Bottom Line

Cheating can say a lot about a person and that person’s relationship. It may be that when you become a cheater it is actually a signal or symptom of something that is fundamentally wrong in your relationship. If you believe this to be the case, it is a good idea to admit to your other half about your indiscretion and then work through the issues that you believe made you go elsewhere. 

If you fear that you have cheated because you have problems with trust or confidence or self-esteem, then it may be that that you would benefit from seeing a therapist or talking with friends about your issues. Either way, you need to talk to your other half about your infidelity and why you think that you went elsewhere. Be open and honest as you can. By doing so as early on as possible, you will hopefully minimize any pain in the future. 

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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