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6 Signs of Cheating Guilt From Your Husband

by Sonya Schwartz

Is your husband showing alarming changes in his behavior? 

Perhaps he’s acting in a way which makes you terrified that he’s cheating on you?

Does it feel like the relationship is already falling apart?

If so, you need to make some drastic moves. It’s time to find out what’s going on behind the scenes. 

Most likely, your husband has already denied that anything is going on. 

Well, these painful seeds of doubt won’t disappear until you find evidence. 

Thankfully, there’s an online tool available that can effortlessly gather this proof for you (click here to learn more about it). 

This tool is a powerful yet discreet online tracker. With just a few basic details about your husband, it can produce an extensive report of his recent communications.  

You’ll discover who he’s been contacting frequently, what apps he’s downloaded, what contact details he’s using and a lot more…

If he’s been messing around, this tool will make it immediately obvious. 

It’s simple to use, it’s fast, and he’ll never know you used it.  

Of course, there are a number of behavioral clues that cheaters tend to give away when they feel guilty about their actions. We have listed six of the most common signs below.

1. He’s Moody and Distant

If your usually upbeat spouse has become increasingly distant and moody, you might be concerned that he doesn’t love you anymore, however this could actually be a huge red flag that he’s feeling guilty about a recent affair.

Your husband becoming distant and moody with you can fill you with feelings of intense stress, leaving you blaming yourself and wondering what you’ve done to cause this change in behavior. Whether he’s stopped making you a priority, becomes disinterested in what you have to say, or starts snapping at you over very trivial things - this behavior should set alarm bells ringing in your head.

But why exactly do men often become withdrawn after cheating on their wife?

Guilt works in funny ways and can trigger someone to become more withdrawn from a relationship for a number of different reasons. If your husband is feeling guilty about cheating on you, this may cause him to avoid you and distance himself from you in order to avoid those crippling feelings of guilt that he only gets when he’s around you. After all - his friends at the pub don’t evoke these feelings, so why wouldn’t he spend more time with them and less time with you?

Additionally, your husband may be feeling so ashamed about his affair that he becomes withdrawn in order to face scrutiny from his - and your - family and friends when they eventually find out what he’s done. Similarly, he may be subconsciously willing you to end the relationship, without having to tell you about his infidelity that he’s feeling so cut up about, allowing him to avoid these feelings of remorse.

However, there are a number of other reasons why your husband may become emotionally distant with you, such as after the loss of a loved one, change in job or recent house move. It’s common for people to become distant and withdrawn from their loved ones during periods of intense stress, so before you jump to conclusions about your husband’s loyalty - it might be worth evaluating other factors which may have caused his change in behavior.

2. He’s Acting Suspiciously

If your husband has suddenly started acting suspiciously, it’s sure to raise alarm bells in your head. After all, you’re the person he tells everything to, so when that suddenly changes and he starts being more closed and sketchy, it might be an indicator that he’s feeling guilty about a recent affair.

Whether he’s suddenly started visiting the gym every night after work, regularly goes off on trips with his friends, or he’s started switching his phone off when he’s out - a drastic change in your husband’s behavior is one of the telltale signs of guilt after infidelity.

Many women become suspicious about an affair when their husband starts acting differently with his phone.

If your husband suddenly starts turning his phone off when he’s at home, avoids using it around you, or has added security measures to stop you from looking at it- these can all be signs that he’s got something to hide. Whether he’s regularly cheating on you with another woman, he’s started using online dating websites, or there’s evidence about his infidelity on his phone -  being shifty with his phone is a huge indicator that he’s trying to stop you from finding out about his secret.

However, it’s important not to take matters into your own hands and try and snoop on his phone when he leaves it unattended. Not only could this cause major issues if your suspicions are wrong and he finds out about your lack of trust, but it also won’t solve any issues.

If you suspect your husband is cheating because he’s been sneaky with his phone, then you need to bring the issue up with him and ask him why he’s started behaving strangely. For all you know, he may be trying to organize a surprise holiday or lavish gift for your birthday that he doesn’t want you to find out about, so snooping on his phone is an absolute no-no.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

3. He’s Suddenly More Attentive

One of the strangest signs of guilt from a cheating husband is that he suddenly becomes more attentive, paying you more compliments, showering you with gifts and taking you out for lavish meals.

Although it may seem contradictory, it’s common for a remorseful husband to become more interested in you than normal which, although it may be nice, should raise a red flag and spur you to watch out for any other signs of guilt.

Often, the feeling of guilt after cheating can cause men to become overly attentive and complementary as a way to alleviate their feelings of remorse, as they may feel that they are ‘making up’ for cheating on you by being more generous, thus, making him feel less guilty about cheating.

Additionally, this change of behavior could also be to throw you off the scent in the hope that you’ll never find out about his infidelity. By treating you to expensive gifts, to suddenly becoming more interested - and appreciative - about the way you look, your husband may think that he’ll cover up the fact that he’s cheated on you, hoping you won’t pick up on the other signs of his disloyalty.

You may also notice that your husband becomes more complimentary about you to your friends and family, as a similar tactic to ensure the people closest to you don’t notice his change in behavior either and just see him as a loving husband.

So if your partner has suddenly become the husband of the year overnight, you should stop to question what has triggered this change in behavior, as guilt is usually the biggest cause.

However, before you jump to conclusions about your husband’s infidelity, you should stop to assess other reasons for this pleasant change in behavior too.

Has your husband recently had a pay rise, thus, allowing him to be more frivolous with his money? Or has he noticed that you’ve been having a tough time recently and wants to go out of his way to cheer you up?

Although any change in your husband’s behavior can be worrying, it’s important to look at the more simple, innocent explanations before you make yourself crazy with the idea that he’s been unfaithful.

4. Your Sex Life Changes

Whether it was a part of your nightly routine, or more of a weekly chore - every married couple has a sex life that’s normal to them. However, if you notice a sudden, unexplained change in yours and your husband’s sex life, then this could be a sign that he’s feeling guilty about cheating.

If your husband suddenly has an unusual increase in libido - initiating sex on a daily basis - this should set alarm bells ringing in your head, as this can be an indicator of your husband’s remorse.

Similarly to showering you with gifts and compliments, a sudden increase in your sex life could indicate that your husband is trying to cover up the fact that he’s been unfaithful. After all, if you’re feeling happy and satisfied, you’re less likely to notice anything untoward, right?

However, if you and your husband are used to sharing the love on a daily basis, and your husband suddenly becomes less interested in getting jiggy - this could also be a sign of a remorseful man. Many men admit that it felt wrong to sleep with their wife after cheating on her with another woman, thus, bringing their sex life at home to a halt.

Additionally, he may be worried that sleeping with you might reveal clues about his infidelity, such as learning new techniques or saying the wrong name, leading him to withdraw from all the bedroom fun with you.

But that’s not all - a sudden decrease in sex between you and your husband may be a sign of guilt - but not about you. Many men admit that they felt guilty about sleeping with their wife after cheating, as they felt as if they were actually cheating on their mistress, leading them to cease all sexual activity with their wife.

However, the frequency or level of sexual activity between you and your husband may not change at all, but you may notice that your husband seems to be less emotionally invested. If your husband is feeling guilty about sleeping with another woman, you may notice that he’s not ‘making love’ to you and starts treating sex like a chore, making sure it’s over as quickly as possible.

But, if your husband’s libido has suddenly plummeted, it’s important to rule out any other serious issues before you jump to conclusions about his loyalty. Some of the most common reasons for a sudden lack of interest in sex include:

  • He’s stressed
  • He’s depressed
  • He’s got a hormonal imbalance
  • He’s feeling conscious about his body after gaining weight
  • He thinks you’re not interested

Something as simple as an increased workload or adding a few extra pounds after the holidays can cause your husband to withdraw from sex - just as it can for women. So instead of stressing about the worst possible scenario, try to spice up your sex life to see how your husband reacts. From introducing dirty talk, to sending risqué texts to him throughout the day, there are a number of ways to get yours and your husband’s sex life back on track.

5. He Stops Trusting You

It can come as a surprise to many women when their husband suddenly accuses them of being unfaithful, seemingly out of the blue. However, this form of gaslighting is common among husbands who are feeling guilty about cheating on their wives.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Why?

If your husband has been cheating on you and has realized that you are none the wiser, he may start to doubt whether or not you’ve been faithful to him. After all, if he has managed to hide an affair from you, surely you could have done the same to him?

This is called projection, when your husband takes his own feelings of guilt and projects them onto you in order to make you feel bad, thus, lessening his feelings of remorse. It’s a well-known defense mechanism that can help people to deal with difficult feelings of guilt.

Although it can be incredibly hurtful to be accused of something you’ve not done - especially by the person you love, it’s important to look deeper into the situation and as yourself why he’s suddenly accusing you of being unfaithful to him.

Has he been acting suspiciously himself? Are there any other red flags that you’ve pushed to one side? If so, this might indicate that your husband has strayed elsewhere and is feeling guilty about it.

However, it’s important to remember that even if your husband has suddenly started acting out of character, such as withdrawing from your relationship and accusing you of having an affair, it may not always be because he’s feeling guilty about being unfaithful.

Your husband may just need reassurance that you’re still fully committed and happy in your marriage, for example, his parents’ marriage may have broken down due to an affair, or he may have heard a colleague talking about his wife’s affair, leading him to question his own marriage.

Your husband may just have trouble talking about his own insecurities about being cheated on, leading him to bring them up in the wrong way, so before you start getting offended by his accusations, ask him why he’s accusing you of being unfaithful, allowing the two of you can talk things through together.

6. He Stops Telling You he Loves You

Every woman’s worst fear in her marriage - aside from cheating - is coming to the realization that her beloved husband doesn’t love her anymore.

Whether his lack of love has caused him to stray in the first place, or his infidelity has made him feel guilty about loving you - if you notice that your husband no longer says the ‘L’ word, it might be a sign that he’s feeling guilty about straying elsewhere.

Similarly to withdrawing and becoming distant from you, a guilty husband may not feel comfortable with showing you affection and telling you he loves you. If your husband suddenly stops telling you how much you mean to him, or how much he loves you, this could be a sign that he’s feeling guilty about cheating on  you.

But it’s not just his words. If your husband stops doing the little things that display his love for you, such as holding your hand, stroking your hair or bringing you a coffee in the morning, you should evaluate what has changed in the relationship and ask yourself if this could be a sign of guilt.

Whether it’s because he’s in love with someone else and feels guilty about that, or he’s just feeling deeply remorseful about cheating on you - the woman he does love - a sudden lack of love in your marriage should be a major red flag. 

Although all of the signs above can be major indicators that your husband is feeling guilty about cheating on you, they can also be a signal that there’s something else wrong.

Whether your husband is stressed at work, suffering from mental health issues or is unhappy with something that you’ve done and feels unable to bring it up, sudden changes in his behavior should spark a conversation - not accusations.

So before you stress yourself out thinking that your husband has been having an affair behind your back, it’s important to communicate with him and ask him what has sparked this sudden change in his behavior. After all, a rational, adult conversation will help you to get to the bottom of his behavior much more effectively than an argument will.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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