We’ve all had those moments where no matter how much you try, you just can’t get yourself into a sexual mood. Whether this phase comes after having a baby, before or after your period, or after recovering from an illness; when you don’t feel like it, you just don’t feel like it.
Thank God for the honesty that the millennial and gen z generations of women have brought along with them. We now know that a high sexual desire is not only reserved for men but women could have this too.
However, thanks to the one million and one hormones just raging in our bodies, sometimes we just can’t bring ourselves to want sex as much or as frequently as the men in our lives do.
Men want and can have sex almost anytime, any day so it’s understandable how they may find it a bit frustrating that we can’t keep up with them every single time.
Some women feel that sex is purely physical for men, this is not so in all cases. In fact, most men in committed relationships have admitted that sex helps them connect, not just physically with their partners but mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even spiritually.
Neglecting their sexual needs is equivalent to having them deprive us of our cherished cuddles, hugs, and heart-to-heart talks. All these things contribute to making us feel deeply connected to our love interests.
Aside from seeking connection and intimacy, sex is linked to many other things for men. Things like their self-esteem, satisfaction, and confidence. So when you reject your partner, you may be cheating him of a few important things that make up his person.
Sometimes, knowing when your partner is really craving a connection with you may be just the motivation you need to get yourself in that bedroom mood.
So, if you’d like to be sure what signs to look out for when it comes to sexual deprivation, then you’re at the right place. Below are a few signs to know for sure that your partner is sexually frustrated.
If, for some reason, your man seems way more irritated by the most minor things, this means he may be sexually frustrated. As we all know, men have a very different way of thinking, their ideas and methods of connection are not the same as ours. For most guys, sex is the deepest way he can possibly connect with you.
When there's too little or no sex, he can't necessarily connect with you on many levels, so his affection, understanding, and sympathy for you at that point is at its lowest. In addition to this, sex is a way for men to relieve stress. Most men do not express themselves as much as women do, they keep a lot of things bottled up.
So, considering that you're the love of his life, there's no one else he'd feel connected to. If you’re not available for this physical intimacy then his stress levels may rise and he’ll end up taking it out on anyone around him.
It's true that men communicate way less than women do; however, it's obvious when they're a bit more withdrawn. If your partner cannot have a connection with you to the extent that he would like to, it could make him withdraw his emotional side too. Let's not pretend that we don't know how much men hate doing some of the things we convince them to do with us.
For example, going window shopping, talking about feelings, or even watching a romance movie with you. Men who really love you would do those things if you ask because they see that it's fun for you. However, when they feel that they cannot sexually connect with you, they would find it more difficult doing certain activities with you.
So, if you notice that your partner would rather hang out in his man cave than Netflix with you, then he's probably sexually frustrated.
Everyone has a nervous habit that they're familiar with, and sometimes use as a coping mechanism. For some, it's gnawing their teeth, others nibble on their nails, fiddle with their hair, or even pace about a lot. If you catch your partner doing this a bit more often, then he may be sexually frustrated.
As mentioned earlier, sex serves as a means of relieving stress (amongst other things), so not being able to fulfill this desire, causes all that stress and agitation to build up and fester in his mind.
Indulging in a nervous habit is our body's way of seeking to relieve that stress. So, if you stumble upon your man pacing unusually or chewing on his fingernails, there's a chance that your long break from sex is starting to affect him.
Daydreaming about sex is one major sign that a person’s sexual desire needs to be met. It's only logical that the more you know you can't have something, the more you want it.
Also, the more you want something, the more you think about it; hence the frequent daydreams. If you notice that your partner seems lost in his thoughts for most of the day, instead of being as active as he usually is, then he may be sexually frustrated.
It's just like putting yourself on a diet for a while then all of a sudden you start to crave all your favorite junk like burgers, fries, hot wings, etc. You're definitely going to be stuck thinking about these things way more often than usual. You'd probably even be able to taste them in your mouth. Perhaps, your partner is experiencing this. The danger here is that he may start imagining doing it with someone else other than you.
Insomnia isn't linked only to sexual frustration. There are other causes of it. Even sexually satisfied people find it hard falling asleep. Some even wake up several times at night and lay awake for a while. However, feeling sex-starved could definitely make it harder for you to fall asleep.
According to some sex therapists, having an orgasm can sometimes act as an amnesiac, which means that it could help you forget some of the stresses and challenges you experienced earlier on in the day. Sex helps your muscles relax and release the tension stored up in them.
It also releases emotional tension and helps you relax for a while. Research shows that stress is one of the major causes of insomnia and sometimes a result of a lack of physical intimacy. So, if your partner has been turning and tossing in the night while you try to get some sleep, or if he keeps waking up frequently in the middle of the night, he's most likely sexually frustrated.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
A lack of sufficient activity in one area of your life could make you feel incomplete and cause you to overindulge in other areas. So, suppose you aren't gaining satisfaction from your career, you're likely to give more to a hobby or anything that gives you joy. Your lack of satisfaction has caused you to find satisfaction in other activities.
The same can apply in the case of sexual frustration. Since your man isn't getting any sexual satisfaction, you may find that he spends countless hours playing video games or throwing himself into work. He may even start binge eating or dangerously drinking too much.
It's just like drug addicts; some people who are recovering from addiction tend to start eating more candy, mints, or junk just to stay away from their original object of obsession. Sexual impulses could act as addictions sometimes. If your partner loves sex and isn't getting any, he's likely going to dive into other activities just to fill that void. You need to pray and hope that they're not destructive.
As dreadful as this sounds, it's the reality of the whole situation. If your partner is in need of sexual gratification and can't get it for a long period of time, they're likely to go looking for it elsewhere. A lot of husbands and boyfriends do not wish to do this but sometimes, they find themselves in compromising situations; because guess what, you're not the only woman in existence.
As mentioned earlier, being sexually starved could cause you to daydream extensively about having sex. This means that sex is likely to be on your partner's mind for a large chunk of his day.
Also, bear in mind that when he goes out to work, shop, or gym, he'd be meeting other good-looking women too. Some may even be making a pass at him. He may find it difficult to stay committed to you if he can't connect with you sexually.
So, if you notice that your partner is going out more often than usual or staying up late nights, then he may be distracted by someone else. Also, if he has started getting a bit more guarded with his phone or just generally acting suspicious, you best believe that he may be 'visiting other options'.
Being sexually starved means craving sexual gratification yet being starved of any form of sexual activity; as a result, one may suffer some effects. Most sexually active individuals have confessed to doing the most bizarre things after going long periods without sex.
If you have gone a while without having sex and you notice that you're suddenly snapping at people, easily irritated, withdrawn, and unable to focus, then you may be sexually frustrated. Don't beat yourself up in this case, everyone feels the need to sexually connect with someone from time to time.
There will be times where your partner won't feel like getting down and dirty; your partner may not be ready for you every time you feel like having sex. However, when you're in a relationship, sexual frustration should not be a normal thing, it could affect your partner’s behavior and the relationship negatively.
According to experts and research, a sexless marriage is one that involves having sex less than ten times in a year or less than once a month. However, experts also say that frequency does not determine sexual satisfaction. In fact, a lot of couples in so-called sexless marriages are quite happy together.
I hope you found this article helpful, remember, you don't have to engage in any sexual activity that you aren't reading or comfortable doing. However, try not to keep your partner starved for too long. Please leave your comments below and be sure to share the article on your social media.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!