Do you ever stop and think my husband always wants to have sex and worry? It's a common question that women and wives often ask themselves and in this article we look at what is normal, what is not. We focus on why a husband may want sex all the time and whether your approach to your sex life is what your husband wants or not.
So if you have ever questioned whether your sex life with your husband is normal, then this is the article for you. It can be very comforting knowing that you are not the only person out there that worries about whether your relationship with your husband is standard and whether the fact that he wants sex more than you do is unusual. We list the reasons why your husband may want sex a lot and what to do about it if he does.
- 1 Why Does My Husband Want Sex So Much?
- 2 How Do I Cope With My Husband Who Wants More Sex Than Me?
- 3 Husband Wants Sex All The Time – The Bottom Line
Why Does My Husband Want Sex So Much?
There are a whole host of reasons why your husband may want sex so much. Here, we look at some practical as well as emotional reasons why they want to make love to their partners.
Men Usually Have A Higher Libido
Men, on the whole, have a higher libido than women. They simply, as a gender, want to have more sex due to their higher sex drive. A great deal of this reasoning can be biological. It will be due to hormones and also physical need.
Men are meant to try to have sex as often as they can to ‘sow their wild oats'. They are biologically wired to try to ensure their blood line continues. While this is not how it will come across to you when you are married, and instead it simply appears that he wants to have sex every time he sees you, at least you can be sure that he does not as much have a sex addiction, just a primal urge that is difficult to change.
For women, their sex drive is lower as their bodies do not have the same hormones raging through their bodies – or at least at the levels that men have. Women's hormones are different and so their need for sex will be more closely aligned to when their bodies are ovulating. In essence, if a woman's body has released an egg, the woman will want more sex around that time.
It's Their Way Of Marking Their Territory
While we may emotionally live in the age of equality, a man's sex drive is firmly rooted in a time where he needed to protect his wife. Constantly sleeping with a woman is a man's way of marking his territory and making his masculinity known.
As a consequence, having sex with you is his chance to show you how manly he is. By showing you how manly he is, he is attempting to negate your need to go and get a partner elsewhere. Some men are happy with this type of marking of territory on a less frequent basis, whereas some men will approach the problem by wanting to have sex with you all the times he can.
This may sound odd to some but it is a key driver to a man's need for sex – even when he is married, and has been in a marriage for a long while. It's one of the reasons that sex is so important to relationships.
It may sound perverse or container intuitive but people sometimes crave sex simply because they have low self confidence. While some exhibit their insecurities in other ways, it is not uncommon for people with low self esteem to want to have a lot of sex as a way to get their confidence up.
The trouble with if your husband is one of the guys that instigates sex often because he has a low opinion of himself, is that it can hurt their feelings badly if you refuse for whatever reason. This can be troublesome because when you start refusing every so often, but you know it will hurt their feelings, it can get to the point that you actually feel obligated to sleep with them on every occasion that they want.
The reason that this is not a fantastic position to be in is that obligation is not a good reason to sleep with someone. If you fear that this is can be the case in your relationship every once in a while, then it would be a good idea to sit down with your husband and talk it through with him – even if it does get uncomfortable discussing it at times.
Some People Want More Sex Than Others
Similar to the widely thought fact that men have a higher libido than women, you can also take solace in the fact that your husband wants sex so often simply because you are two different people. No two people will have the same level of sex drive. It will always be the case that one partner in a relationship will want more sex than the other.
On occasion it may well be, therefore, that it is the woman that would want more sex than the man. While, as previously discussed, this is not always the case, it is good to realise that it may feel like your husband wants sex so much, but that is only in comparison to your sex drive. If your husband had exactly the same need for sex as he does now, but you actually wanted more, it could well be that it is him who thinks you want sex at any given opportunity. And so it could be him that would find your libido intimidating.
Be Sure It Is Actually Sex He Is After
It is not uncommon for a woman to recoil from her husband's innocent touch because she thinks he would like it to go further. So in answer to the question why does my husband want sex all day every day, be sure that it is actually sex he wants.
It could well be that he is just being affectionate with you and his way of instigating sex is not him instigating sex at all and you have read his signals incorrectly. It could well be that he wants things to go further, or would like them to go further, but that does not always necessarily mean that it even crossed his mind.
A lot of the problem with when this issue arises in a relationship is from communication – if you feel he wants sex from you a lot, when in fact he doesn’t, you may misinterpret his signals elsewhere.
How Do I Cope With My Husband Who Wants More Sex Than Me?
Sex Begets Sex
While it can be difficult for women to understand at first, if they actually have sex with their other half every time their partner wants to have sex, the person with the lower libido will find that they soon will see an increase in their sex drive.
This is because sex begets sex. This is for several reasons but the number one practical reason is, that the more you sleep with each other, the better you will become at pleasing one another. You will soon instinctively know what the other one likes, and doesn't like.
This in turn fuels desire on the part of both parties and soon you will both feel like you want to have sex a great deal more.
Take It As A Compliment
While it can be exhausting to constantly sleep with your husband every time he wants sex, it is also a good idea to remember that it is very flattering that he wants you so much. Remember to take it as a compliment therefore that your other half wants to have sex with you so much.
This can be hard to remember, especially when you have been married a long while, but remember that sex is a two way street. He will also like it that you want to sleep with him so if you are the one to instigate it, you may find that he does not feel the need to make love to you so often as he will know that you find him sexually attractive too.
Often the person with the lesser libido actually takes it for granted that their other half finds them physically attractive. Your husbands needs to know that you want to sleep with him and feel like you are are physically as interested in him as he is in you.
Plus allow the fact that he wants to have sex every moment he is with you to boost your confidence. By becoming more confident in yourself, you will naturally become more confident in the bedroom and you find that you like sex even more.
Sex Can Help Bring You Closer Together
Another reason that you should not worry about your husband's needs to have sex every moment he sees you, is that sex is a great way of keeping the bond between you very strong. In fact, sex is a great way of strengthening a relationship and making you both feel closer to one another.
The reason being for this is that not only is it a private act between the two of you, but also the fact that by knowing that you are the only person answering the sexual needs of your husband can make you more confident in your partnership.
Additionally, having sex with someone is an action that can make you feel very vulnerable – either because you are naked or exploring the boundaries of your sexual desire. When you let yourself be vulnerable to someone and they allow you to be yourself without judgement, that can be an incredibly powerful force for good in your partnership.
Try to use every sexual encounter you have with your husband as an opportunity to find out what he wants and likes as well as showing him what your wants and needs are too. It is a great way of making your sex life even better each and every occasion you sleep with one another.
It Should Give You Peace Of Mind
On a practical level, the fact that your husband wants sex with you each time he lays eyes on you should also give you peace of mind. If he's having sex with you a lot, he will be having his needs met and you also know that he will not be looking for sex with any other women.
Again, this means that your confidence should grow and as a result your sex life should improve. Knowing that your husband, or simply your partner, is only having sex with you is incredibly empowering. You can use it to your advantage in the bedroom by knowing that you are the only one that can answer his sexual needs and that can make you feel more at ease with yourself and with your relationship.
Sexual Intimacy Is A Cornerstone Of A Relationship
Being intimate with someone on a sexual level is a cornerstone to a relationship as desire drives feelings of lust and need for physical intimacy. Desire is central to a healthy relationship as it's not only a rare feeling (hence people's need for monogamy), it can help solidify other aspects of a partnership in terms of support and respect.
Plus passion is such a fundamental element to any romantic partnership as it is what helps differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic one. Without sexual intimacy, your marriage would be little more than just a friendship or long term companionship.
It is possible to be happy in such relationships, but the marriages that so often are actually for life, are the ones where the partners desire each other on a physical level.
Understanding this can be key to making peace with how often you husband may feel the need to have sex. Being sexual with you, is not just about his pleasure therefore. It is a way for him to get closer to you and solidify your relationship further. Even for marriages that have celebrated years and years of anniversaries.
If your husband has a very passionate nature that means that he likes to have a lot of sex, then one of the best things you can do is just to embrace it. He is going to be in your life as your partner and so it is a good idea just to accept the fact that he likes to have more sex than you and go with it.
Once you have done this, you will actually start to enjoy sex more and feel more in the mood for it more often. By accepting his higher libido, you will feel less overwhelmed by it and happier to go with the flow.
Bearing that in mind, it is a good idea to tell him what you like and open up the lines of communication with him over your wants and needs in the bedroom. Men tend to be straight talkers in life and so will be more than open to the idea of you verbally telling him what you like to get up to between the sheets.
All couples will do better in all areas of their relationship if they talked more to each other. This is never more the case than when talking about their bedrooms antics.
Husband Wants Sex All The Time – The Bottom Line
When you are with a husband that seems to desire to have sex with you around the clock, it can be exhausting on both a physical and mental level. Firstly, having sex a lot is physically demanding and sometimes you may well need a break. Additionally, your physical fitness may not match his which can make a further imbalance.
Secondly, it can often be exhausting on a mental level for a couple of reasons. One is that women approach sex as a much more mental exercise than men do. They need to be emotionally connected more often than not to the guy they are sleeping with to make it a pleasurable. This need for an emotional connection is what can make it a tiring activity on the brain.
The other reason sex can be tiring for a woman on a mental level when they have a husband who wants to have sex all day is that on the occasions where she says no, it can be painful to refuse. The reason being is that they know they will cause their partner hurt by refusing his advances. Because of this prior knowledge they will most likely have tried to come up with a way to break the news to their partner gently and become anxious about refusing him as a result.
Anxiety is one of the most tiring emotions out there so even if you love your husband very deeply, it can get to the point in your married life where you are nervous about sleeping with him.
Do you have a husband who wants sex more than you? Leave your thoughts and comments below!