HerNorm is a community-supported website. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Learn more.

16 Ways To Make A Guy Realize He's Losing You

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you fed up with a particular guy putting no effort into pleasing you?

Are you looking for subtle ways to communicate that you want him to try harder? 

Perhaps you’re searching for the best way to show him he’s losing your interest? 

If so, you’re in the right place. The guide below contains 16 fantastic ideas for showing a man he’s losing you.  

However, before I reveal these tips, it’s really important that you read the following sentences carefully. 

I wasted most of my twenties chasing guys who just weren’t that into me. 

It was a worrying pattern that I thought was never going to end. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. 

It turned out that I just didn’t know to make a lasting emotional impact on men. 

Thankfully, that all changed when I learned about a little-known aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

This powerful psychological trigger has a huge impact on how men perceive the women in their life. 

In fact, it can be the difference between seen as a ‘bit of fun’ or as an OBSESSION. 

Once I learned how to activate this line of thinking inside a man, my relationships quickly became a lot more passionate and caring (I wrote this personal story to explain how it works). 

A man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’ is reasonably simple to activate, once you understand how it works. The crazy thing is: so few people seem to understand how it works.  

If you’re also stuck wondering why men aren’t putting the effort into impressing you, I’d urge you to read more about how the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ changed my love life

There are some more useful ideas to reignite a man’s interest below. 

16 Ways To Make A Guy Realize He's Losing You

1. Stop Doing Things For Him

How do you make a guy realize he's losing you and start to appreciate you? By stopping doing the things you normally do for them.

For example, do you always do his laundry, iron his shirts for work? Pack a lunch for him or clean the house without expecting him to help?

Now is the time to stop doing all those things for him. I mean, if he’s not even saying thank-you, why are you doing them anyway?

The important thing about this tactic is to be prepared when he questions why you’ve stopped. You can answer him in various ways, depending on the reaction you want to get.

Here are some replies you can have ready and up your sleeves:

  • “I’m not your mother, take care of your own laundry and ironing.”
  • “I’m busier at work now and don’t have time, you’ll have to do it yourself.”
  • “When you start saying please and thank-you – normal service will resume.”
  • You are a grown man, you should be able to take care of yourself.

Once he sees that you are progressing through life quite easily without his help, managing to cook your own dinner, wash your own clothes and generally function without him, it will make him panic. It will make him think he is losing you.

After all, research suggests that women cope much better on their own than men. So show him exactly what you do for him by not doing it anymore. So, make him think he is losing you by not doing things for him.

2. Stop Having Sex

Want to make him realize he could lose you? This might seem a tad old-fashioned. Withholding sex doesn’t appear to be a very modern way of solving problems in a relationship. But remember, we are dealing with men here.

They are pretty basic creatures with basic needs. One of those needs is sex, and preferably on a regularish basis.

For guys, sex is all-important. So by appearing not interested or just saying no you’ll immediately get his attention. Probably more so than leaving him to make his own dinner or do the laundry.

After all, men can hire someone to do all those things. But sex with their partner? Let’s face it, they’re not going to want to cheat on you but they will want to know when you’re going to up for it again. So stop the sex to make a guy realize he could lose you.

3. Get Some Sexy New Moves In Bed

If you don’t want to withhold sex you can show your man show sexy new moves instead. Surprise him by showing off a new technique or position. Make him realize he could lose you by spicing up your love life.

Ask him what he really likes or get him to tell you his sexual fantasies. Then let him know that you'll act them out for him. Or buy yourself some saucy new lingerie and perform a striptease for him.

You can also be more proactive in and out of bed. Make sure you instigate sex more often and change up your routine a little. For example,

if you always spend ages on foreplay try a wham-bam style of sex instead. Or, if your guy is always loving and tender, rough him up little; try some bondage or introduce some sex toy play. Just make it different and spice it up a bit.

4. Flirt With Other Men

So one minute you’ve gone off sex, now you’re flirting with other men? This has got to make him worry.

Unless he is a complete dick, he’ll start putting two and two together and come to this realization.

He is in trouble and you are starting to look elsewhere. This is a wake-up call. If he loves you and cares about you he’ll begin showing you attention again.

It might start with small gestures like buying takeout as a treat or doing little chores around the house and expecting praise and acknowledgement for his actions.

I know, women do things like that all the time and don’t expect thanks for it. But these signs show you he is trying to grab your attention.

He’s saying: ‘Look, I see you, I value you and I’m, trying to impress you.’

5. Give Him The Silent Treatment

5. Give Him The Silent Treatment

If you’re dating and you want your guy to realize he’s losing you, one of the best ways to grab his attention is to say nothing. Give him the silent treatment.

Don’t respond to his texts instantly with heart emoji’s the second he’s sent a message. Leave his call to go to voicemail more than you pick up. Don't answer his phone calls. Ignore Facetime calls.

By doing this you’ll get him wondering what’s going on. Why aren’t you available? You always were before? Are you seeing someone else? Are you getting bored with him? Is there something going on?

He’ll have all these worrying thoughts running through his mind. But, best of all, he’ll step up his game. He will start including you in his life more. And he’ll definitely stop taking you for granted.

Oh, and by the way, while you’re ignoring his calls and messages, don’t just sit at home twiddling your thumbs waiting for your phone to ping. Get out there and work on yourself for a change.

Use this time to have fun, see that movie you and your girlfriends always wanted to but you were too busy with your fella. Pop round to visit your parents or siblings for a change.

Or treat yourself to a night out with your male friends.

6. Make Plans That Don’t Include Him

Talking about treating yourself to a night out with the girls or your male friends, now’s the time to do things that don’t include him.

Do you always plan things together? Is he the dominant person in the relationship and you fancy a say in things? Do you feel like you are just tagging along for the ride? Or do you always do things your boyfriend wants to do?

It’s time for a change. But, you have to be subtle about it. For example, go about your normal business all week then Friday evening get dressed up and say ‘ta ta’ to your bloke.

And don’t forget to enjoy the look of surprise on his face while you exit the door. Or, if you’ve always wanted to visit a certain country or area and your bloke hasn’t shown the slightest bit of interest, go with a friend.

Book that trip you’ve always wanted to do. After all, you don’t have to have his permission. By exerting your freedom and going off with other people, you are showing him that you are independent.

Not only that, but you can manage perfectly well should he decide to leave. You won’t miss him, you’ve got too much going on in your social life.

Oh, and when you do go out with friends or away for the weekend, dress up and tart yourself up to the nines and make sure he sees what he’s missing.

Of course, act all nonchalant like this is you on a normal day just chilling. But get that red lippy on and blow that sonofabitch a kiss as you leave.

One other thing, don’t make contact with him while you are away, whether it’s just for one evening or the weekend. That’s the whole point of you going off and being somewhere without him. So that he misses you and wonders what you are getting up to.

If you’re texting or responding to his calls every five minutes you’ve basically made all that effort for nothing. Keep him hanging, besides, you’re having way too much fun to talk to him! Make him realize he is taking you for granted.

7. Make Yourself The Prize He Wants To Chase

What makes a man fall in love with a woman and dedicate his life to her? Is it that she cooks and cleans the house well? Or could it be that she looks after him and pampers him like his mommy used to?

I’ll let you into a little secret, it’s neither of those things.

Men fall in love with independent women who don’t need them. They love the chase, the thought of bagging the best prize at the end of the fight. It’s a battle for them.

They pick the best girl then fight off all her competitors. They want to feel like they’ve won something. Then they can show you off to their family, their friends, colleagues, you name it, you’re the trophy.

Men don’t want to take home second prize. You boost their credibility. And you don’t do that by being a cleaner for them. Sure, they’re happy not to do chores. But it’s your personality and, let’s face it, looks that grab them.

So tart yourself up and get a life. Because if you don’t, he won’t want to fight for you anymore.

8. Stop Caring About Him

Of course, I don’t mean for real. But stop ‘acting’ like you care what he’s doing or how he’s feeling.

How do you do that you ask? Simple. Have you got used to asking how his day went the minute he steps through the door? Well, stop.

Do you always go up to him and ask him what’s wrong when you can see he is clearly down about something? From now on, leave him to sort out whatever is bothering him by himself.

You can transfer this non-caring attitude to cooking and cleaning too. Does he expect you to have dinner ready when he comes home? Say you’ve already eaten at work.

Be disinterested in his plans. Don’t ask him what he’s been doing or where he’s been. You don’t care.

And don’t give anything away about your life either. Keep your plans to yourself and don’t reveal anything about your feelings.

You might find he does something out of the ordinary to shock you and get a reaction from you. But don’t react. Act like everything’s normal and be surprised that he is reacting the way he is. Make sure he knows you're not bothered.

9. Cancel Plans Last Minute

Want to make a guy realize he's losing you? Cancel plans last minute.

When you cancel plans with a loved one it screams ‘I’ve got a better offer’. But when you do it last minute, it shows you don’t care about how they feel and that your pleasure is more important.

It’s really horrible to be let down at the last minute. Firstly, it doesn’t give you any time to rearrange your night. Secondly, you spend the rest of the evening with a severe amount of FOMO.

You wonder what they are getting up to. Are they having a great time without you? They obviously preferred going somewhere other than with you. So they must be having a ball.

All these thoughts prey on your mind, and what do they lead to? Jealousy hopefully!

10. Say No To Last-Minute Dates

10. Say No To Last-Minute Dates

So you’ve been waiting all week for text or phone calls and on Friday evening at 6 pm you get asked out for the evening? Usually, you’d feel a rush of relief and a thrill. You’re gonna see your man!

Well, how bloody dare he keep you waiting all week twiddling your thumbs? He can’t disrespect you like this. What, has he been holding out for a better offer?

Next time he texts or calls last minute, ignore him. Make him realize he can't treat you like this. And certainly don’t agree to last-minute dates. If he can’t get in touch with you before the very end of the working week, he doesn’t deserve to see you.

Even it means you stay in all weekend, don’t say yes to a last-minute date. It shows you are weak and holding out for scraps of his attention.

Remember that men want to fight for that prize? Why should he put in any effort fighting for you? You’re always there. You’re always available. And you know what? That’s boring to a bloke. He will walk away.

He wants to be excited, to be intrigued. He wants his interest piqued. Who is this girl that he can never get hold of? This girl that he sees out dancing, having the best time and all the guys love her?

That’s the girl he wants. Not Little Miss Doormat.

11. Make Sure His Friends See You Having Fun

You know I advised going out with your girl or male friends? While you’re out, why not crash a few clubs and bars that you know his friends hang out?

You don’t have to be over the top screeching loudly. Just show off your best moves on the dance floor, flirt with other guys and generally have the best time. That will make a guy think he is losing you.

All the while you are doing this, his mates will clock you having fun and relay this information back to your bloke. it might stop him taking you for granted.

They’ll be coy about it as fellas don’t usually like to talk, but they’ll let him know they’ve seen you and you don’t appear to be missing him one bit.

12. Post Your Fun Life On Social Media

If his mates don’t happen to see you out having the time of your life, post it all over social media. You can tag mutual friends to ensure he’ll see the posts. then you'll definitely make him realize he's losing you. You want him to worry about losing you.

Choose the very best selfies of you and your girlfriends rocking the bars. Caption your pictures with provocative but innocent posts such as ‘Met this cute guy tonight! He has the best dance moves!’ or ‘Danced all night, can’t feel my feet!’

Not only will you give him a serious case of the FOMOs, but you’ll make him jealous too. And jealousy is the key if you want to make a guy realize he's losing you.

13. Don’t Let Him Have His Own Way All The Time

Does your partner tend to make all the decisions in the house? Is he the one that books the restaurant, tells you which club or bar you are going to?

Change it up. Stop being that doormat! You have opinions and desires and wishes. What happened to what you want to do? When did you start being dictated to?

This is an equal relationship, not a dictatorship. Start being firm with him and you do the choosing from now on.

14. Make The Best Of Yourself

You can’t expect your man to stay interested or attracted to you if you are looking like a slob, eating all the wrong foods and not looking after yourself.

I say it all the time, men are visual creatures. What they see is what they want. So if you are looking drab, you’re not bothering wearing makeup or taking care of yourself, why should he be interested?

You’ve got to be invested in yourself. And it’s not a selfish thing to do. Being the best person you can be, whether this is treating yourself to a great new haircut, or buying some quality clothes.

When we look good on the outside we feel good on the inside. Our confidence grows and our self-esteem is boosted. It’s not vanity, its psychology.

Imagine going to an interview with a huge zit on your nose. How confident would you feel stepping through the interviewer’s door?

Now picture that zit zapped and gone. Where is your confidence now? Much higher I’m guessing. And that’s what paying attention to your looks can do for your own confidence.

So look after yourself and don’t get lured into the habit of not trying too hard because you’ve already bagged your man.

15. Just Be Yourself

This might seem like contradictory advice considering what went before, but there’s nothing worse than people pretending to be someone they are not.

Listen, he was attracted to you because of who you are. It’s like that Billy Joel song:

“Don't go changing to try and please me. You never let me down before. Don't imagine you're too familiar. And I don't see you anymore.”

Isn’t that gorgeous? Sometimes we ladies try and mould ourselves into what we think our blokes want us to be like. But when we weren’t looking or pretending to act a certain way, when we were just being ourselves they were watching. And they fell in love.

Billy Joel says in his song ‘I want you just the way you are,’ and sometimes we need reminding of that.

Go back to that person he was once attracted to. Did you make him laugh out loud? Was he impressed with your job or career? Does he love the way you cuddle or make love to him? It’s time to remind him again why he fell in love with you.

16. Tell Him You Want A Break

If all else fails, tell your guy you need a break. Sometimes a relationship that is breaking down needs a short, sharp shock to revive it. Hopefully, by being absent and unavailable, it will make him realize just how much he misses you.

Your insistence on a break should be the wake-up call that makes him change his behaviour.

Making your guy realize he’s losing you doesn’t have to be hard. Just follow one or two or even all of our tips and see just how quickly he will realize he is losing you.  If he doesn't realize he is losing you then walk away.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

footer logo Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected
[ TAKE THIS FREE QUIZ ]
[ TAKE THIS FREE QUIZ ]