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How to Make Him Realize He's Losing You (21 Things to Try)

Does it seem like your boyfriend is taking you for granted? Or does it feel like he’s not putting in enough effort to support your relationship? Unfortunately, this can sometimes happen in long-term relationships. 

Over time people may become complacent and start to think they know everything about their partner, but the fact is relationships take consistent nurturing and effort.

If you notice that your partner has stopped putting in significant effort, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. A talk may be enough to jolt him out of his complacency. 

However, if he still isn't stepping it up try these 21 ways to make a guy realize he's losing you. 

Key Takeaways

  • Relationships take consistent nurturing and effort
  • There are things you can try to get back on track
  • Sometimes walking away is the best option

How to Make a Man Realize He Is About to Lose You

Sometimes, men can be somewhat clueless when it comes to getting what’s going on with their girlfriend, even if you’ve been in a relationship for a while. 

He could even be one day away from losing you and still not realize that you’re about to leave his life forever. This could be because you’re not communicating the seriousness of how you’re feeling. 

If you want to make him realize that you’re about to pack up and leave, be sure that you’re communicating in a way to jolt him awake. 

Don’t keep pretending like everything is fine if everything isn’t fine. He will keep having the impression that there’s nothing wrong. That’s why it’s vital to try these tips to show him that there’s a problem. 

1. Take a break

Tell him that you need a break for your time together. Go spend the weekend at your mom’s house to think about some things.  

Nothing will give a guy a wake-up call like the thought of you not being there anymore. While this is drastic, it can definitely work. He may have a reaction to you leaving, but stay strong in your conviction and take some space. 

2. Tell him you’re prepared to walk away

Unhappy woman in the bedroom thinking

It may seem harsh just to come out and say, "I'm ready to be done with our relationship if things don't change," but it's also the truth. If you feel alone in your relationship and feel taken for granted, you need to make your man realize where you stand. 

After all, you want to be with a man who wants to be with you. Pay attention to his reaction after telling him that you're willing to walk away from your relationship. Does he want to commit and put in the extra work to fix your relationship? Or is he hesitant and doesn't seem to want to do anything?

Both of you need to be on the same page if you're going to make your relationship work. If he isn't open or willing, it may be time for you to walk away for good. 

3. Stop pampering him

Many women feel they have to do everything in order to keep their man happy. Also, women are naturally more nurturing by nature and want to make their partner feel content and comfortable, but the best way to get him to realize that he may be losing you is to simply stop doing it for a while. 

He may begin to wonder why you’ve stopped pampering him, but the good news is that it also makes him realize how much you do for him that he’s been taking for granted. 

4. Enjoy an adventure without him

Call up some of your best girlfriends and plan a mini vacation/ adventure together. It may be fun to rent an Airbnb somewhere and stay away for a few nights with the girls. Tell your partner he’s not invited to come and do your best to enjoy yourself without thinking about your boyfriend the entire time. 

By being away from your partner it will make him feel like you're drifting away. It will also show that you’re very capable of having a fabulous time without him. Seeing you enjoy yourself may inspire him to step up his game because he wants to have fun with you too.  

5. Show him new moves in the bedroom

In every long-term relationship, keeping a spicy and exciting  sex life is important. Especially, because it keeps the bedroom from becoming too boring. Find some new and creative moves to share with your boyfriend the next time you’re both in the mood. This will remind him what an amazing girlfriend he has. 

He’ll realize how lucky he is to be with someone who wants to keep their sex life alive and spicy. Of course, keeping your sex life alive is a two-way street, but it’s a start

6. Be vague about the future

If your partner asks you what you’re doing for the weekend, tell him you don’t know yet. He’ll wonder if he’s included or not in your plans. He may even come up with a suggestion for something you two can do together. 

Or maybe he ends up making his own plans with friends, but now you're free to make your own plans too. So, don't get mad at him. 

Just plan something fun for yourself and love the heck out of it. This will show him that you're content to do things without him. At some point, he may start to miss you and realize he's losing you.

7. Pull back from him 

Slightly pulling back from your man is an excellent option if you don't live together because you can focus on your other friendships and make plans to exercise or do other activities you love. 

If your boyfriend texts you, you don’t have to jump and answer immediately if you’re occupied. After all, you're busy living your best life and you’re not at his beck and call. Holding back before texting him will remind him that respect and communication work both ways. 

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

8. Quit putting all the energy into things

When we see something we think is broken, we tend to want to fix it. We start conversations when there is a problem. Deep down, we have great intentions, but this can cause a problem for our relationships. 

It teaches guys that are with us that they don’t have to do anything. If there’s a problem, we’ll address it. Because of that, it can take a moment for him to realize there is something wrong, or he will assume that everything is fine because you didn’t say anything. 

Not only that, but he also doesn’t have to deal with any responsibilities. Consider having an open conversation with him about how you feel first. The best relationship advice is always to have healthy communication. Then, follow up by not doing things that you shouldn’t be doing. This will also make your life easier.

9. Start wearing your own clothes

Sometimes, you need to just switch things up to make a guy realize that there’s a problem. If you’re always wearing his hoodies, leave them in the closet and start wearing your things for a while. 

He’ll miss how adorable you look in oversized sweatshirts. Subtle ways like this are great, but keep in mind sometimes it takes things a bit more drastic to make him realize something is off in your relationship or that he’s going to lose you. 

10. Let him know you’re losing interest

Woman staring at her boyfriend seriously

Sometimes, you need to be straightforward with your partner for him to have a wakeup call. Subtle hints might not work. If you’ve tried everything to make a guy realize he’s losing you and he doesn’t seem to notice, either he doesn’t care or he doesn’t know what’s going on. 

If this is the case, you need to tell him directly what is going on, and why you feel the way you do. If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll realize he needs to put in the effort with you.

11. Show him you can manage perfectly fine without him

Men tend to take a woman for granted a tad more when they think she needs him. Make your boyfriend realize that you don’t need him as much as he thinks that you do. This can also make a guy realize that he’s losing you because he’ll see you doing so much without him. 

12. Enjoy your own social life

If you want your boyfriend to start caring more, it may be helpful if you care less. Spend more time with your friends, have a girl’s night out, or go on a yoga retreat. These simple steps can make him realize just how much he loves you because you won’t be around as often. 

13. Let him do his own laundry

If you keep putting in all the effort without any support or gratitude from your partner, just stop doing everything. Stop stressing about your relationship, stop focusing on everyone else, and for sure stop doing his laundry. 

Your boyfriend knows how to do his own laundry. So, if you stop doing it, he may realize he’s been taking you for granted.  This can also make him realize just how much you’ve been doing around the house.

14. Make your own decisions

When you’re in a relationship, it’s fun to ask for your partner's opinion on various topics, but if you ask him about every little detail it may turn into a bad habit. For example, if you ask him before doing something to make sure that it doesn’t bother him. 

Start making choices about most things in your everyday life. You can always talk to him about bigger decisions, but not everything needs to be discussed

This shows him that you can do life on your own. It may make him feel a little left out of your life, and he’ll start to miss you. Once he starts to miss you, he might start thinking about what life would be like without you. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to make him open his eyes. 

15. Change your look

Woman sitting on her suitcase full of clothes

So, how to make him realize he’s losing you? One of the best ways to gain his attention is to change up your look. You can do this by buying a sexy or trendy new outfit. You’ll likely surprise your man if you show up one day with a stylish new haircut. You’ll “wow” him and it might feel like he’s seeing you again for the first time.

After being in a relationship for some time, it’s easy to get comfortable and stop dressing up and putting together new looks, but changing your look shows him that you’re independent and can make your own choices. It’s also a win-win because you’ll feel extra beautiful, and your boyfriend will notice too.

16. Cancel plans if you’re tired of unreciprocated effort

Cancel plans with your boyfriend if you feel like he isn’t stepping it up after talking with him.  When you cancel on him at the last moment, it might make him realize that you were serious when you said something was bothering you. 

Women tend to always want to put our best foot forward for our men, but sometimes that’s the problem. By canceling plans you may make him realize that he also needs to do something about saving your relationship.

17. Stop responding immediately 

Instead of an unhealthy silent treatment, just give yourself some time before responding to his texts. Sometimes, even when you’re in a relationship, we can end up taking for granted how available our partner is for us. Taking time before answering might make him miss you. 

He’ll start thinking about what could possibly be wrong, how used he is to you being around all the time. This might be all that he needs to start to slowly realize that he might be losing you. 

18. Put in more effort on your end

Pulling away will work on some men, but not on others. That’s why it’s important to try a couple different solutions. So, if pulling aways isn’t working, try the opposite.

Bring out his hopeless romantic side by surprising him with a mini staycation! Plan a fancy and romantic dinner at his favorite restaurant. Or if you like cooking, cook his favorite meals instead. 

Another great idea is to begin putting more effort in the bedroom. Learn some new moves or break out his favorites. Start with things that you know he’ll love!

This is super effective because it reminds him of how fabulous you are and how much he loves you. And he won’t be able to stand the thought of you not being with him. 

19. Begin a new hobby

Have you wanted to try that new pottery class or take a knitting class but you've been putting it off because you're preoccupied with your relationship? If so, now is a great time to start that new hobby! A hobby will allow you to have fun and learn something new simultaneously. 

The more you focus on taking care of yourself, the more attractive you'll be to your partner. And because you're so busy, he'll start to miss you and maybe even realize he's losing you.

20. Spend quality time away from him

If taking a new pottery class isn’t up your alley, try taking a trip away. Do something without him. Go on a road trip with friends or family, take yourself to dinner, or go get your nails done.  

While you’re out having a great time, your partner is likely to miss you. He may text you, but like we already said, you don’t have to respond to his text messages right away. When you do see him again, he’ll probably put  in extra effort because he doesn’t want to lose you. 

21. Go back to the beginning

Remember when the two of you first started dating? He probably surprised you with special dates and gifts. He slowly fell in love with you. Think about everything he loved about you. 

And remember the things you used to do together too. Then, recreate your first few dates. It will help you both remember why you’re together in the first place.  

Try to recreate that same feeling to bring the romance back into the relationship.Talk about each other and how much fun you used to have, you’ll both likely feel much more connected by the end of the night.  

How to Make Him Scared of Losing You Through Text?

Sometimes you can make your boyfriend realize he's losing you through a text message. Here are a few things you can text to your boyfriend to wake him up:

  • Sorry, it took me so long to get back to you. I was busy today.
  • I can't hang out this weekend because I'm spending time with the girls. 
  • I'm going to spend time on self-care this weekend. Let's connect again next weekend. 

These texts may make a guy realize what it would be like to not have you around. Hopefully, he'll step up his game because he realizes that he deeply wants you in his life and that you're worth fighting for. 

However, if he doesn't take the hint, you may be better off letting him go completely. Other men will gladly put in their best efforts to keep you in their life. Mark Twain sums it up perfectly, "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." 


Will walking away make him want me more?

The idea of walking away is powerful for a few reasons. It shows both you and your partner that you have self-worth and respect yourself enough to leave a relationship that isn’t reciprocated. It also gives you your power back. 

There’s a possibility that walking away will make your partner change and show up as the best person that he can be for you. At the end of the day, you want someone who wants to put in the work and commitment if you’re going to move forward.

How long does it take a man to realize what he lost?

Men and women often process things differently. It may take some time for your partner to realize what he’s lost. He might realize what he lost when he fails to meet anyone as kind as you were or when he starts to feel lonely. While your boyfriend may begin to miss you at some point, it’s most important for you to be taking care of yourself during this time. Keep living your life.  


It’s painful when your boyfriend starts to take you for granted. It makes you question your relationship and how much he cares about you. But, if you’re willing to try out some effective communication, you may be able to resurrect your relationship. 

If, on the other hand, your partner still doesn’t put in the right amount of effort, it may be time to move on from him. You deserve to find someone who desires to be in your life and wants to do everything he can to nurture your relationship. 

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Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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