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Loving An Addict (13 Ways To Manage Loving An Addict)

by Sonya Schwartz

Being in a relationship with someone that has an addiction comes with a lot of pros and cons which could be managed if discovered on time. It may not be easy to love an addict, especially when they’re involved in drugs or alcohol. Drug addiction is one of those things that cause serious relationship problems and health issues whether it’s in the long or short run. 

Anybody battling with drugs or alcohol abuse is most likely to have mental health issues and physical or communication problems as the case may be. Their family members, children, and friends are also likely to suffer this as well.

A few scenarios may be involved when loving an addict or when you find yourself in a relationship with someone that has an addiction. First could be loving them or being in a relationship with them before they become an addict and you may be wondering how to manage that. 

The other case maybe you meeting and loving them and discovering they’ve got addiction problems. Or it could be a different case scenario entirely. Either way, keep reading to know 13 ways on how to manage the situation.

13 Ways To Manage Loving An Addict

1. Recognize and face reality

recognize and face reality

It’s always good to recognize the problems and face them. The first step is to come to terms that the person you love is a drug addict, alcoholic, or substance abuse in general. You may have difficulties knowing the symptoms at first. especially if it’s your first experience. But when you do, start finding solutions to manage it.

This is your first step on how to love an addict. It does not have to affect your relationship with them yet even though their behavior may get to you in a negative way. But when you get to know it, you should face it.

2. You can’t change them

Many people feel like it’s easy to change their loved ones. Being in a relationship with someone who is into too much alcohol, or substance abuse as a whole is not something convincing enough to change them. Relationships should be an addition or complement to people and not change them. 

However, it’s not easy to change an addict but you could try talking to them, leading them to ways of getting help or find a way they can get addiction treatment. There’s no high probability of changing them but you could try to put up with their behavior if you can, while still being involved with them. Also, always let them know you still love them.

3. Take care of yourself first

It’s natural for most people to put other people’s needs before theirs especially when it comes to relationships. The truth is, you really can’t help other people’s problems without solving yours first. Listen to your health issues too and attend to them. 

See a doctor for treatment if you feel like your body is not in good shape. Eat good food and exercise as well. Remember, you’re not the addict. You’re only there for intervention because he’s your loved one. So take care of yourself and your health too. 

4. Ask for professional help

One of the ways to manage an addiction or substance abuse with a loved one is getting help from a professional. Getting addicted to drug use, alcohol, or substance, in general, requires immediate addiction treatment physically and otherwise. 

So when you start noticing any strange behavior or obsession over an object or a person, you may need to get professional help because those could be some of the symptoms.

It doesn’t mean you won’t have difficulties convincing the addict or he would accept it immediately, but he still needs intervention. If you both are in a relationship and you would like to continue, get advice on different addiction treatment options for your loved one as early as you can to be safe. The recovery process may take time but they need that intervention.

5. Take a break

take a break

If you feel like you’re getting mentally or emotionally drained, it’s time to take a break. Dealing with a substance addict in a relationship could be a handful whether it’s drugs or alcohol. Some people forget that loving an addict is a choice, not a job or priority, hence, they get sucked in.

So it’s advised you take some time out once in a while to breathe again. Hang out with other friends, a family member or take a walk once in a while to calm your nerves. You would need it to let some things go even though you may not know. 

6. Be firm when it comes to disagreeing with them

Another thing with people who are affected by drug abuse is that they dislike it when you say no to them, especially when they’re desperate to use drugs. But learn to be firm with him whether he’s an alcoholic or substance addict because it’s a necessary behavior you need to love an addict. 

If you’re around when they need to get alcohol, subtly try to talk them out of it. Try to redirect their minds to something else they love doing or eating. For example, they could love ice cream, pizza, or a calming technique for their recovery process you developed or was prescribed by a professional. The aim is to distract them without violence.

7. Don’t sponsor their drugs or alcohol

Spending money on drugs or alcohol for an addict is a way of encouraging them to continue substance abuse and it’s not a good way to help in their recovery. To have a successful relationship with an addict, you may want to concentrate more on their treatment rather than encourage the act.

So, avoid letting them know your cash account passwords or generally where you save or keep the money. You could also keep possible jewelry that could be exchanged for drugs away from them. The aim here is to avoid consciously being involved in anything related to substance abuse that does not contribute to their recovery. 

8. Keep a good balance between your life and theirs

Substance addictionis not just for the addicts. Sometimes, it affects the people around and it could start from you, the closest, especially if you’re both in a relationship. As much as they need help, you also have a life to live. You have goals and aspirations to achieve.

So, whether you’re a student, career woman, or a single mom with children, try to concentrate on your personal and career life. These are the things that would make you grow. So, be there for them but also be there for yourself so you can grow with or without them. 

9. Get support from loved ones

get support from loved ones

When in a relationship with an addict, you may need support from a family member, a friend or another loved one to keep you going especially when the symptoms begin to get serious.You need someone to constantly make you feel better or assure you that everything would be fine in no time. 

If necessary, you could fix a time for a mini ranting session to talk to them, free your mind and get to breathe again. You never can tell. Sometimes, your other loved ones may be in a position to bring up quick and better addiction treatment for your partner. So it’s good to reach out to them if you feel choked.

10. Speak up and communicate with them

Just like you need a constant reminder from a loved one that everything would be fine, people with an addiction also need to be reminded that they can do without using alcohol or drugs. You should be able to communicate with him about being an alcoholic. 

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Approach them amicably and tell them how good they could be if they get treatment and make an effort to stop drug abuse. It may take some time especially if they’re already deep into it. So make it a conscious effort to communicate with them about taking their treatment seriously when you know they can hear you. It may help quicken their recovery. 

11. Be positive about the situation

Everyproblem has a solution. All you need is effort, determination, positivity, and a bit of persistence. To keep being in a relationship with an addict and make it work, you need to be positive about the outcomes. Don’t get this wrong, it may not be that easy especially if you’ve never experienced it before.

Try everything you can to stay positive because it would also help quicken his recovery. Get any possible help you can for him and try to persuade him to follow up with treatment as much as you can. Say positive things to him to make him happy as well. Don’t forget, positive vibes always help sort tough situations.

12. Remain as neutral as possible

One way to manage loving an addict is to try to remain on a neutral ground. Because he’s your loved one, there are two possible scenarios here if you’re not neutral. First, you could get so sucked in while helping that you gradually become addicted to him or a part of his abuse activities as well.

Secondly, you could become depressed, desperate, or affected generally if he’s not responding to treatment the way you want him to or the way you imagined him to. So, make it a conscious to remain neutral when you’re in a relationship with an addict. It would also help make his recovery faster. 

13. Don’t blame yourself or make excuses for them

don't blame yourself or make excuses for them

Remember, it’s not your fault that they’re going through this and it’s not your responsibility that they get well. You’re just there to help. Also don’t forget that if it goes worse, you’re not to blame because the healing or recovery is not yours but his. You’re only there to help as much as you can.

Furthermore, try not to make excuses for him either for being an addict or for not accepting to get help or treatment. You may think you’re helping or protecting him from discrimination but in reality, you’re just pushing him more to be a bad addict. Remember, he’s a loved one so cut down on your excuses, it would help with your intervention.

FAQs

Is love like drug addiction?

Excessive love or obsession is also more like an addiction. It’s possible to be addicted to love. According to Scientists, intense love or romance may come with symptoms that are similar to addiction-like dependence and craving, withdrawal, and a few other ones. 

What causes addiction to a person?

Getting too involved in a person’s life, codependency, trying to fix someone, or getting too attached to a relationship, are a few of the many things that could cause or add to being addicted to a particular person. 

Is it possible to get addicted to a person?

Yes, of course. It comes in different ways which include obsession or obsessive thoughts about a person, desperation, unnecessary feelings of anticipation and hope, and many more depending on the situation. Sometimes getting addicted to people could be very toxic.

What is an obsession with a person?

Obsession with someone is when you feel you’re in love with them and would do anything within your power to express to them whether they’re comfortable with it or not. It, most times, becomes controlling and brings an unnecessary overprotective attitude which could make the other person uncomfortable.

What do you call someone who is obsessed with their phone?

There are many terms on the web but the most common one used is “cellcoholic” which is used to describe anybody that is addicted to their phones whether they are around people or not. They could sometimes get a panic attack when they’re separated from their phones.

In Conclusion 

Nothing is impossible to achieve. You just need to take the right steps. Don’t forget to try the 13 tips I’ve mentioned and see how things become easy for you. Feel free to drop a comment and share this article if you liked it.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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