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Dating A Sex Addict (13 Need To Know Tips)

by Sonya Schwartz

Seeing someone with sex addiction or who is a recovering sex addict can be very hard. It is a mental health disorder and can cause serious problems in your relationship. Any addiction has the ability to cause a relationship upset so it can be a good idea to know what you are getting yourself in for if you are in a partnership with someone suffering from sex addiction.

Here, we list 13 need to know tips that are helpful when seeing someone with a compulsive sexual addiction. Make no mistake, your relationship will have its ups and downs while it deals with your love interest’s addiction treatment, but good communication and support will help you no end. 

What To Consider When Dating A Sex Addict

1. Use protection

Using protection with a sex addict is vital as it will help you stay safe against possible STIs and also any unwanted pregnancies. 

While your partner with a sex addiction may well have had an STI test to see whether they are a carrier or anything, the amount of sex they will want can significantly increase your chances of getting pregnant. Sex addicts do not automatically have STIs by any means, but it is good to be safer than sorry. 

2. It is an outlet for them

It is an outlet for them

It is helpful to remember what drives a sex addiction at times that you are both struggling in your relationship. Sex is an outlet for someone suffering from sex addiction and a way they use to cope with other issues in their life like anxiety or depression. 

Knowing this can help you support them in ways that you may not have when faced with their addiction. It is also good to know if you are with a recovering sex addict as they no longer have this means available to them. 

3. Suggest treatment programs

It can be a great idea to suggest a support group or treatment program to your partner suffering from sex addiction. They may be unaware of them or they may well not have realized that you have noticed that their sex addiction. 

It is good for them to know that you are supportive of their treatment and that you want them to get better. Having that support is hugely comforting when they are going through some emotional issues that will transpire from seeking treatment. 

4. They may have low self-esteem

One of the biggest reasons that people suffer from sex addiction is that they have low self-confidence or esteem - amongst other mental health problems. If you feel this to be the case with the sex addict you are seeing, try to build their self-esteem in other ways - not just by reciprocating their constant sexual advances. 

5. Seek help yourself

While it is great for addicts to seek treatment, their behavior can still take its toll on their partners. Bearing this in mind, you need to consider seeking help yourself so that you can talk to someone about the issues you have struggled with since starting a relationship with a sex addict. 

It will give you the space to divulge your worries as well as provide you with suggestions to help you cope when things get really tough for you both. 

6. Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable with

Sex addicts are obviously insatiable lovers. This can sometimes manifest itself as trying out things that really push sexual boundaries for some people. Remember that you should never do anything that you are uncomfortable with. 

While you may disappoint your lover, they will not want you to do anything that makes you feel awkward or upset in any way. Open up the lines of communication with them so that you can always talk about what’s on your mind. If that is telling them that you don’t want to act out a particular fantasy, then so be it. 

7. They will masturbate a lot

Without a doubt, sex addicts will masturbate a lot. You need to make your peace with that as part of your relationship. It could well be that after having sex with them that they still feel the need to masturbate almost immediately, which is just part of this illness. 

Try not to take it personally as you will otherwise find dealing with your partner’s addiction far more difficult than it already is. 

8. They will watch porn

They will watch porn

Another habit that many sex addicts exhibit is watching a lot of pornography or going online to look at sexually explicit pictures. While many people do this in a healthy way, addicts do it far more and as such, you may struggle with this behavior. 

However, again, try not to take it personally. If they are looking at legal stuff, you will just have to work through this in the most supportive way you can. 

9. They may lie

With any addiction, you are going to be confronted with a person who will lie to cover up what their true actions or feelings are. If you are seeing an addict or someone with sex addiction, you need to be prepared for this. 

10. Don’t judge them

A key way that your relationship will get through this type of addiction is not to judge your partner. Not only will this give your partner the support and strength to get over their addiction, but it will also mean that you do not build up feelings of resentment or anger towards them. You need to remember that addiction is a disease. 

11. Don’t be an enabler

While you should not judge someone suffering from this type of addiction, it is also important not to enable it. If your partner is in recovery, work with them to find ways that you can support their road to getting over this disease. 

Your relationship will be stronger for it further into the future if you find a way to help each other through this difficult phase in a proactive and positive way. 

12. Couples therapy

While you are both seeking professional help, it can be a good idea to seek it together. This gives you the opportunity to work through issues together in a safe space in the company of a professional. Your therapist will not adjudicate an argument for you, simply give you methods to help you work through your issue together so you can be happy. 

13. Think about relapses

One thing that all partners of an addict need to realize is that there will most likely be a relapse. You need to consider what you have to do if your partner does relapse. You will likely be disappointed and hurt as well as worried, so you need to come up with ways of how you will cope with those emotions in advance. 

FAQs

What are the symptoms of hypersexuality?

There are a few symptoms of hypersexuality that go beyond having a high libido. Firstly, a person’s sex drive is insatiable and they spend a lot of time fantasizing about specific sex acts and sexual activity. Often, a sex addict will engage in these fantasies as a reaction to stress in their life. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

How can you tell if a girl is hypersexual?

You can tell if a girl is hypersexual or a sex addict if she appears to have a compulsive sexual desire - with particular emphasis on repeating a sexual fantasy. They may otherwise seem to have an intimacy disorder as well as other signs of anxiety or mental health issues. 

What causes hypersexuality?

Hypersexuality or sex addiction is caused by a compulsive mental health condition. A person with sex addiction will feel the need to have sex as a reaction to moments of stress or anxiety in their life as a way of coping. It is similar to drug addiction or alcohol abuse and a way of coping

Why are bipolar sexually promiscuous?

Those that suffer from being bipolar are sometimes sex addicts as it is a way that they feel they cope with their mental health issues. For times that they are depressed, bipolar people can seek out sex as a relief, while at times of extreme happiness, sex will also be something they crave. 

Why do I feel sexually excited all the time?

There are many reasons that you can feel sexually excited all the time and it does not necessarily mean that you need to seek sexual addiction treatment. However, if you are worried that your high libido is a compulsion, seek help from your doctor as soon as possible. 

Dating A Person With Sex Addiction - Conclusion

Being in a relationship with a person with any type of addiction is hard. Their behavior will sometimes be almost impossible to understand to a person who is not an addict. With respect to sex addiction, the implications of this type of illness can be grave on a relationship. 

However, there are ways through it and ways to cope with it too. Work together with your partner to ensure that you are both getting the support you need throughout your relationship. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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