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Why Won’t My Husband Touch Me (11 Possible Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

Sex is one of the ways to maintain intimacy in a relationship. And it can be saddening to see that your partner is losing sexual interest in you. Or your partner has not initiated sex within months. No doubt, you would be worried. 

Right now, you probably have many thoughts racing through your mindÍome some of which include ‘Does he still find me attractive?’ ‘Will  a divorce be next?’ ‘Is he having an affair?’

The truth is, in all long-term relationships, change is a constant. And that includes the sexual lifestyle of a couple. It is common knowledge that men enjoy sex more than women. However, aside from change as a result of being in long-term relationships, there may be other factors that are responsible for the reason you don’t feel loved.

So, I have listed out a number of reasons to the question, “Why won’t my husband touch me?”. Read on to find out some possible answers.

11 Reasons Why My Husband Won’t Touch Me

1. His stress levels are high

his stress levels are high

Men are interesting creatures. After a hard day at work, a woman would want to release stress by spending the night with her husband or the family doing something fun. But men deal with exhaustion differently. Men are known to be emotionally aloof and sometimes will withdraw from women physically.

It is, therefore, no surprise that your spouse doesn’t want to cuddle. This is because he is dealing with a lot of things he might not have discussed. But that is how his gender copes with stress.

2. You don’t allow him to express his definition of love

We all grew up in different homes, therefore, we have different backgrounds, different perspectives, and ideologies. Thus, when the word “intimacy” is mentioned, to one person, it might mean emotional connection, more than a physical one. However, to another person, it means physical bonding rather than emotional. The catch is that they are both right.

Let’s say you ask two different people to demonstrate what intimacy means to them. They would do it according to their perspective. So, if you’re assuming that your man no longer loves you, look again. He might still be showing you love but you are not paying attention.

3. You are being clingy

No man wants a clingy woman. An independent woman is really attractive to almost every man. Perhaps, your husband does not want to touch you because you are clingy. Men love their space, and a woman who always needs attention is kind of annoying. It is a huge turnoff. This is because your husband will feel like whatever he is doing is never enough.

If that is the case, he will stop trying. This is because you are going to nag him anyways. That could be why your husband won’t touch you.

4. He has low libido

Low libido is a reduced interest in sex. Sexual intimacy is a necessity in every marriage. This is because it helps to keep couples bonded. 

I bet that before you got married (or when you started dating), you could not keep your hands off each other. But as the years went by, this frequency is gradually reducing. According to science, low libido is quite common and happens from time to time. However, it can get worse.

It might be caused by a number of factors including depression, aging, medical reasons, etc. Therefore, a possible reason your husband won’t touch you may be due to this.

5. He is cheating on you

If your guy is not sleeping with you, it is possible that he is getting it from somewhere else. Most men like to have sexual intimacy two or three times weekly. And if you have observed this frequency, you should be worried if he is not requesting sex like he used to. 

The question is whether your guy will be honest about his infidelity. Usually, cheaters are not very honest about an affair outside the relationship. But you should be able to read the warning signs for yourself. If he is getting sexually satisfied elsewhere, he may not show interest in you.

6. There are relationship problems

No relationship is perfect. There is bound to be trouble in Paradise once in a while. And that can ultimately affect the happiness in the relationship. 

I mean, if your husband goes to bed angry, you can be rest assured that he is not going to cuddle you that night. It is general knowledge that couples that are usually intimate would feel closer to each other than those who are not.

In that same vein, if there are unresolved grudges in the relationship, your body is not going to get any love.

7. He wants a different experience

Again, your husband may not be touching you because he is bored with the whole sexual experience. It is always the same old thing when you both get intimate. There is no fun. So he is not getting the desired pleasure he wants when he gets intimate with you.

The bone of contention is that he wants to explore different extents of his sexuality with you, but you are probably not into it. The lack of creativity and variety in the bedroom can make him not want to touch you.

8. He has problems

he has problems

It is also very possible that your man has some health issues which are causing sexual problems in the bedroom. Men usually like to keep things like these to themselves. 

They don’t want anyone to pity them. This will make them feel powerless as a man. Guys usually like to feel like the alpha male in the relationship. 

And when that power to sexually prove themselves is lost, it can be damaging to their self-esteem. Other times, his inability to be intimate with you may stem from a medication, which is causing him not to be sexually available.

9. He does not feel like he is desired

Everyone loves to feel needed. This feeling is not limited to one gender. It is possible your man does not feel desired or needed by you. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

And if he is not touching you, it is either because you may have rejected his sexual advances a number of times, or he is always the one initiating the sex.

It can get tiring. So perhaps, he is letting you be because he fears the rejection which may come to him, should he try to initiate any intimacy.

10. You don’t put in the effort to look irresistible

Men are led by what they see. So, if your husband is not physically giving your body some good love, it is probably because of how you look when going to bed. You don’t put in any effort to look sexy. And since you always dress up like a nun, you will be treated like one.

His lack of interest might also be due to the fact that your hygiene. One distinct quality of every good wife is always to be the default image in her husband’s world. How visually appealing you look can do that for you.

11. Familiarity


Familiarity, they say, breeds contempt. You may have been with your spouse for 5, 10, even 20 years. It is quite easy to get into a routine. And that can affect the physical intimacy with your partner.

It is true that marriage goes through changes as the years go by. However, in as much as you two become friends, it is very easy to forget about your sex life.

And that friendship (although great for the emotional strength of the relationship), would ultimately result in a sexless marriage. 


Is it normal for a husband to not show affection?

Everyone is different. Therefore, the way we all show love would definitely be different. For instance, your definition of intimacy is a warm hug, however, that of your husband might be sex. Per these different perspectives, you are bound to feel unloved. And it is not that your husband is not showing you love.

Why is my husband not interested in me sexually?

There are a number of reasons you think your husband is not interested in you sexually. One of which includes stress. Another could be that he is dealing with some sexual problems he is too embarrassed to talk about. Or it could be that he is having an affair with someone else.

Can a marriage survive without affection? 

A marriage can survive without affection, but it comes at a high price. Lack of sex in a marriage, especially when one partner wants it and the other doesn’t can result in a lower level of intimacy and bonding between the couple. It can also lead to infidelity.

How do you know when your husband no longer loves you?

You will know your husband no longer loves you when he doesn't touch you anymore. Also, he no lingers looks into your eyes when saying “I love you” like he used to. And even if he does, your gut tells you that it is not genuine. Also, he seems closed off and does not want to be intimate with you anymore.

How do you deal with a lack of affection in a marriage?

In order to deal with a lack of sex in a marriage, you need to seek couples counseling. Also, talk to your partner about how you want to be loved. Lastly, concentrate on what you can handle. This includes your well-being and happiness. 


Before I sign out, the above are the various reasons your husband does not want to touch you. So before you question why, make sure you consider all the above reasons. And when you find the answer, do what you can to save your marriage from becoming a sexless one.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article. I want to know your thoughts on it. So, comment in the comments section. Also, do well to share this article.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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