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What Do Guys Like In A Girl? (5 Things They Absolutely Love)

by Sonya Schwartz

Do you get the feeling that you’re just not ‘girlfriend material’? 

Are you sick and tired of men using you for short-term flings, but nothing more? 

Perhaps you worry that you’ll never get the chance to start a family with a man who truly cares about you? 

If so, my list of five traits that men absolutely love in a woman will help you. 

But first I want to tell you the story of how I transformed from a ‘nice date’ into the woman that guys would OBSESS over.

It’s based on a psychological trigger that all men seem to hold, called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

Before learning about this, men would always seem to lose interest in me relatively quickly. 

Yet, once you understand how this part of the male brain works, it can make all the difference to how they feel about you (read my personal story to learn how it works).

It’s really simple to learn how to activate the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ but it’s the best thing I ever did for my dating life. 

If you’re looking to keep men interested in you, I urge you to read about how I learned to activate ‘Hero’s Instinct.

By adding this skill on top of the five personality traits listed below, you can expect plenty of men to obsess over you. 

From a huge zest for life and a sense of adventure to a certain confidence that just oozes sex appeal, the following traits are what drive men absolutely when it comes to women and make him one step closer to falling in love.


Similarly to how many women are attracted to big, manly men, many men are attracted to more soft, feminine women. But why exactly does a feminine woman drive men crazy?

Femininity is one trait that men can’t get from their male friends, which is partly what makes them view a woman as a potential girlfriend, as opposed to just another of his friends. However, in today’s society with a number of strong feminist movements, women are becoming more and more masculine and gender roles have been switched up.

However, if you’re looking for a man in your life, then it might be worth keeping an eye on your masculine traits and embrace your femininity in order to attract a man. This isn’t to say you should only wear dresses, skirts or lots of makeup in order to appear feminine, however, you should embrace your femininity in whichever way makes you feel the most confident and happy.

A Sense of Humour

If you ask any man what they find most attractive in a woman, many of them will tell you that they value a good sense of humour above all else. Research has shown that men like women who not only laugh at their jokes, but who can make them laugh too.

When you share a similar sense of humour with someone, everything seems to be that bit more funny, making your time spent together much more memorable and exciting and can positively impact your relationship satisfaction.

However, it’s important to establish exactly what kind of humour men find attractive in women. Studies have shown that using aggressive humour, such as making fun of your man, can, over time, have the opposite effect and actually make him start to resent you. After all, who wants to teased by the person you like all the time?

So next time you crack a joke around your man, make sure it’s one that’ll generate laughter, not an eye roll.


There’s nothing sexier than a confident woman, which is why any man you speak to will tell you that confidence is one of the most attractive traits a woman can have, just as many women find confident men irresistible.

Confident women tend to have their life together, they’re secure about who they are and they live their life to the fullest. Confident women tend to have no qualms about pursuing their dreams, so they have tonnes of ambition and self-assurance when it comes to achieving their goals.

Additionally, one of the most attractive things about a confident woman is that they are secure in who they are and they’re comfortable in their own skin. But not only are they happy in themselves, confident women tend to be more secure in their relationships too, meaning they don’t get jealous about their man having female friends or talking to other women.

Finally, another attractive thing about confident women is that they’re assertive and they’re not afraid to share their opinions - simply because they don’t care what other people think about them. This is attractive to men as confident women won’t be afraid to challenge them, leading to interesting, engaging debates and conversations.

So next time you’re trying to get the attention of the man you’ve got your eye on, you need to remember that confidence is key, so put your best foot forward and remember just how great you are!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

A Sense of Adventure

Part of the fun of relationships is going on exciting new adventures together, which is why men like nothing more than a huge sense of adventure in the woman they’re dating.

But that doesn’t mean you need to go climbing a different mountain every weekend - men don’t just like women with a sense of adventure (and great stamina!), but women who can add a little bit of adventure to any situation.

From adding an extra bit of zest to grocery shopping, to being open to trying new things - men absolutely love a woman who can add a little bit of excitement and thrill to any mundane task.

A Great Smile

Have you ever gravitated towards someone with a grumpy, pouty face before? No?

Men won’t either.

One of the most attractive things you can wear in order to get a man’s attention is a smile. Although we’re in the age of lip fillers and big pouts, it’s actually a smile that’ll get you further than big lips ever will. Not only does a huge smile make you ooze confidence - which men love - it also makes you appear happy, open and friendly - something many men look for in a partner.

Unlike many species of animals, humans bear their teeth as a friendly sign, as opposed to a sign of aggression. With this in mind, many studies have shown that humans are, in fact, most attracted to a person who is smiling. In fact, research shows that a person’s level of attractiveness was strongly influenced by the expression on their face more than any other facial features, which is definitely something worth smiling about.

So next time you’re seductively pouting at that man in a bar, think about flashing him a quick smile instead and see what happens.

A Caring Side

No matter how macho your man is, any men will tell you they want their future partner to have a kind, caring side. In fact, many men listed this as the most important characteristic in a partner in a number of different studies.

Often, it’s the small acts of kindness that men notice the most, as these are the most natural. From ensuring you’re on time to meet them, to pouring their drink before your own, men will notice subtle signs of a caring side and it’ll make them super crazy about you.

But it’s not just showing your caring side to them that’s important, it also extends to their friends, family and even strangers. No man wants to be with a woman who’s nice to them but rude to servers in a restaurant - they want a woman who they can confidently take out with them, knowing they’ll be lovely and polite to everyone they meet.

So next time you head out on a first date, you need to be aware of how you’re coming across to other people - it’s not just the man you’re trying to impress, you want to come across as likeable and personable to members of the public, too!


One supremely attractive trait in a woman is playfulness. Men generally find playful women more attractive because they don’t take themselves too seriously, they’re not afraid of what other people think of them, are just that bit more laid back and, you guessed it - more confident. From laughing at yourself to being silly and fun, many men love a woman with a more youthful, playful side - and it’s sure to make him remember you.

Any man will tell you that a woman with a playful side has an innate ability to allow them to relax and be themselves, meaning they’ll enjoy your company just that little bit more. After all, you want the man you like to be able to be his complete self around you, don’t you?

However, it’s important not to force a playful side, or your other half will see right through it. Your silliness needs to be natural and effortless in order to be attractive to your man, so if you’re not naturally playful, don’t worry - everyone has a silly side just waiting to be unleashed!

Things Men Don’t Like in a Girl


One of the biggest mistakes any woman can make when trying to attract a man is to cross the line from confidence to arrogance.

Although men find confident women insanely attractive, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and once it’s been crossed, you’ll soon lose the interest of any man. Arrogance makes you come across as though you think you’re better than anyone else and value yourself above other people.

Men can find this unattractive as they’ll perceive you as being selfish, self-absorbed and have a heightened sense of self-worth. Additionally, being arrogant will make him think that you’re so self-absorbed that you won’t have time for - or care about - anyone else but yourself, meaning he definitely won’t want to introduce you to his friends and family!

Finally, men want to date a woman who’s open to trying and doing new things, but if you come across as arrogant, he’ll assume you’re closed-minded and uptight and, ultimately, seem less attractive - no matter how pretty your face is.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

So whether you find yourself crossing the line from confident to arrogant in order to hide any insecurities, or you’ve been told you’re arrogant by your friends - you need to become more aware of how you’re coming across to other people and tone your arrogance back down into confidence.


If you need to have a rant to your man about that annoying woman from work, that’s absolutely fine, and can actually be healthy for your relationship. However, one thing that turns men off more than anything is bitchiness and nastiness.

Men want a woman they can introduce to their friends, family and colleagues, so bitchy women are an absolute no-no. He’ll want to be confident that you’ll be able to get on with anyone in any situation, without causing a problem, so bitching about other people can raise major red flags.

That being said, how many people do you know - men or women - who actively seek out nasty, bitchy people as friends? Slim pickings, huh?

If you find yourself frequently making unnecessary comments about other people, you need to be careful that you’re not being branded as a nasty person, or nobody will want to date you. So next time you find yourself about to comment on a stranger’s hair, outfit or weight - think about the words you’re about to say and try and turn it into a positive comment about that person instead.

Changing the way you think and react to your surroundings can have a huge impact on the way you’re perceived by other people and make you feel much more positive, too!


Although every man secretly wants to be wanted by the woman he’s dating, there’s a fine line between being keen and being needy. Many men can pinpoint the moment they lost interest in the girl they were dating as the moment she became needy and clingy - two things which can make even the most beautiful woman seem unattractive.

Whether you’ve been dating for two weeks or two years, being needy and clingy can actually turn your man off and lead him to run for the hills. That’s not to say you should be cold and unattainable, but it’s important not to become overly-reliant on your man.

Many people - both men and women - tend to focus less on their friends and more on their relationship, especially when they first start dating someone new. Although this is common, it can actually cause you to become too reliant on your partner, leading you to lose your sense of identity and become needy and clingy.

After all, if you isolate yourself from your friendship group, who else have you got to hang out with other than your partner?

It’s important - especially in the early stages of dating - to maintain a balance between your social life and your love life, making it vital for you to schedule time with your best friends and ensure you don’t cancel on them to spend time with your man, otherwise you might find yourself getting a little too needy.

Additionally, when you are apart from your man, you should give him some space to hang out with his friends, go to the gym, or just have some alone time. This means not calling and texting him all day every day and actually giving him some time to miss you and crave your presence.

If you do find yourself becoming a little needy, it might be worth taking up a new hobby to distract yourself when you’re not spending time with your man. Not only will this give you something else to think about, but it will also make you seem more interesting to your man - they love women who have their own things going on!

Lack of Ambition

If you’ve ever been out with a man who lacks ambition, you’ll be all to familiar with how frustrating it can be, especially if you’re a super-ambitious individual. If this is the case for you, it’ll come as no surprise that men noted lack of ambition as a deal-breaker when it comes to dating a woman.

Whether the woman they’re dating is happy in their dead-end job, or they’ve got no drive and direction in life, a lack of ambition can be a serious turn off for many men.

When it comes to searching for a partner, both men and women subconsciously seek out someone who will help them to better themselves and improve on their successes, but someone lacking in ambition is unlikely to do so.

Additionally, ambition is also important in social situations. For example, your boyfriend might want you to accompany him to a work party in order to help him bag that promotion he’s been working hard for. However, if you’re lacking in ambition yourself, he might doubt whether or not you’re really aware how important this promotion is to him and lead him to leave you off the guest list.

Finally, a woman lacking in ambition in certain areas of her life, such as her work life, may appear to lack drive in other areas of her life, including her love life. If this is the case, men might get the impression that she’s settling, or not willing to even work on a relationship, leading him to find a woman who is.

So whether you’ve just started dating a man you like, or you’re yet to find Mr Right - the qualities and character traits above will help you to find the perfect man for you, as well as becoming more self-aware in the process.


What Do Guys Find Cute In A Girl?

Many guys love girls with cute, high-0pitched voices, and those who can carry a conversation to the end. They like girls who are always willing to listen and also to contribute. Always speaking in a vulgar way can be a major turn-off for guys, as it alters how they perceive her.

What Clothes Do Guys Like On A Girl?

Guys love girls who have a great balance between boyish and sassy. They love girls in sundresses, and those who can switch from that to a baseball cap in two seconds, they also like girls who wear sports jerseys, sneakers and leather jackets, and those who don't put on a lot of makeup.

What Features Do Guys Find Most Attractive?

Guys are physical beings who take in everything they see. When it comes to girls and the g=features they find attractive, guys look at face symmetry, full lips, cute noses, high cheekbones, and smooth skin, as the features that draw them close to girls.

What Do Teenage Guys Find Physically Attractive?

As a teenager, you're more inclined to look at the physical features of a girl to find her attractive. Some features teenage guys appreciate in a girl include their pretty faces, their trendy clothes, body confidence, the ability to flirt, and girls who smell good. If you both have similar tastes, that’s a plus!

How Can A Woman Be Attractive?

The confidence and attractiveness of women can be seen in varying ways, whether physically or intellectually. To be an attractive woman, one needs to be altruistic, adopt an expansive posture, use metaphorical compliments, and learn to accept compliments too.

How to Finally Fix Your Relationship

Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.

A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!

The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…

That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.

In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.

I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.

After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.

I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.

Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.

Click here to fix your relationship too!

I can’t thank them enough.

Want him to chase, love and worship you?
Well, you’ll need to have a much deeper understanding of his astrological love profile. My friend and relationship astrologer Anna Kovach prepared this Free Compatibility Quiz to help you discover the secrets of his zodiac sign.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

10 comments on “What Do Guys Like In A Girl? (5 Things They Absolutely Love)”

    1. This is very helpful and it has helped me notice some of my mistakes that may have made my boyfriend to break up with me. Thank u so much for the help.

  1. Thank you it helps me a lot to understand.i am not confident, I am needy and clingy. Again thank you so much.

  2. If a mans perspective is of any use, you're spot on with this list. Although implied in your list, I would also add "Happiness" to your list of traits. Nothing makes a man happier or prouder then to see the woman he loves being happy, especially if he is the source of her happiness. 🙂

  3. Hmm....thanks for such a lovely and building advise. I really enjoyed going through the qualities mentioned n this writing. i am one person in a distance relationship and i feel like my man is falling out of love with me. I really wish we could have some private talks so you can guide me on how to go about this situation.

  4. Great list. Thankfully learned these things along the way and have had many guy friends. Women need to have their own life, not look for someone to give them one! Have never had to try and have any man like me. Smiling, confidence, being interesting, having hobbies, constantly learning new things - all make anyone more interesting, whether a woman or a man. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Thanks you so much! I finally have an idea of what to do and it's all because of this! Thanks so much, sonya.

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