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What He Thinks When You Ignore Him (19 Surprising Things)

by Sonya Schwartz

Do you ever get so frustrated with something your partner has said or done? Do you think to yourself ‘I’m just going to ignore him?’ Does your boyfriend take you for granted so by ignoring him you are trying to get a reaction? What does he think when you ignore him? Is it ever worth it?

There are lots of reasons why women start ignoring a guy. Sometimes a situation or argument is just too painful to deal with at that moment. You feel like you want to create some distance between you and your man so that you can calm down.

Ignoring him in this instance is a protective measure. You don’t want to say something you’ll later regret. In a way, you ignored him because you were being cruel to be kind.

On the other hand, your partner might be treating you like a doormat. He may be disrespecting you or even your family. Ignoring him right now is the only way you can think of to cope with the situation.

Then again, you might be mad at him for something he’s done and you are now giving him the silent treatment. You might feel like you are not getting the attention you deserve. You may blame him for a situation that has gone wrong. You feel ashamed and disgusted with him.

Or you could simply want to hurt him because he has been cruel to you. Perhaps he cheated or was aggressive towards you? You are so wounded by his actions that you cut off all contact with him to punish him.

So, what’s going through his mind when you ignore him? Let’s find out. Here’s what he thinks when you ignore him.

19 Things That Go Through A Guy’s Mind When You Ignore Him

1. He Has Done Something Wrong

he has done something wrong

The most obvious thought that will go through his head is that he is in the wrong. Now, we all know that men are not as clued up as women. So it is quite likely he will have no idea what you are upset about.

The thing is, a guy will like clear instructions. They don’t play games and they don’t like to have to guess what the matter is. My advice is, if he has done something wrong, ignoring a guy won’t help. So, don’t be passive-aggressive about it, tell him to his face.

2. You Want Some Attention

In a long-term relationship it is easy to take your partner for granted. We accept the things they do for us without question or thanks. Sometimes it takes ignoring a guy to make him sit up and take notice.

All of a sudden you are not there anymore. He is left on his own for the first time and he begins to realise how much you actually do for him. This could be the wake-up call he needs to re-evaluate his behaviour. He sees that you want attention.

3. You Are Cheating On Him

If your man is used to speaking or seeing you on a regular basis and then suddenly you are ignoring him he might fear the worst. He may start thinking that you are cheating on him or seeing other men behind his back.

After all, what else could it be? Most guys have one-track minds. They can’t fathom the thought that it could be a problem they have created. It must be a problem you are instigating.

4. You Want To End The Relationship With Him

you want to end the relationship with him

For certain men, cutting off all contact means only one thing – you want to end the relationship. After all, that’s what he would do in the same situation.

He thinks to himself that wouldn’t bother telling you, instead he would ignore you and hope that you get the message. This ghosting technique is cruel and unnecessary, but it might be what is going through his head.

5. He Starts Liking You More

Did you know that we are attracted to the unknown more than what is certain? Uncertainty plays a huge role in attraction. For example, if we are sure about a person’s feelings towards us it can lead to complacency.

However, if we are not sure what they feel like towards us it intrigues us and gets our curiosity going. We are more interested in this person. We want to find out more about them. So he might find his feelings are growing for you because he’s not sure of your feelings towards him.

6. You’re Just Busy

You want to know a secret? Men don’t think the same way women do. They tend to presume everything is fine unless we tell them otherwise. So he will most probably think there is a reasonable explanation for your lack of contact.

Some people might immediately start predicting worse-case scenarios. In other words – if you don’t text back you must have had an accident, you are with another man, or you have ended the relationship. A guy just thinks ‘Oh she’s busy right now. She’ll get in touch when she has time.’

7. You’re High Maintenance

Is your guy always making the first move or always making arrangements to meet up? Is he always the one to text or call? If so, he might think you are high maintenance.

Does he have to make repeated efforts to get you to reply? Be wary if this is the case. He’ll only continue to do so if he really likes you. If he doesn’t he’ll soon lose interest.

8. Something Came Up

This is very similar to the ‘she’s busy’ train of thought. In life we can’t always reply to a phone call or text as soon as we receive it. Things tend to happen and we have to deal with these things as they occur.

Therefore, it’s no biggie if you don’t hear from your partner all day. It simply means that there was an important issue that came up and they couldn’t return your message.

9. You Are Playing Hard To Get

you are playing hard to get

Men do not play games but they know that women do. By ignoring him and not replying straight away he might think that you are playing hard to get. You are being a little coy and you don’t want to show how keen you really are.

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10. You Are Worth Chasing

Men are not interested in women that are easily available. They want to ‘earn’ the top prize. It’s all to do with evolution. Men want the best genes to carry on their family line. They know that a woman with these high quality genes is worth pursuing and fighting for.

So he’ll be more interested in the woman who doesn’t immediately call or text back. He doesn’t want the woman that is too readily accepting of his advances.

11. You’re Just Not Into Him

I’ve said many times that men don’t play mind games. They are basic creatures with basic needs. This is actually a good thing and not an insult. It means they are easy to understand.

So if you think that by ignoring them they will get some vague message or hint about their behaviour you are wrong. A typical guy just thinks that the relationship didn’t work out between you and moves on.

12. He Becomes Obsessed With Contacting You

You know that saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder?’ Well there is some truth to it. In psychology it is called ‘reactance’ and it is the feeling a person gets of wanting this thing more when it is taken away from them. 

It’s a little like reverse psychology. If you tell someone they don’t want a particular thing they tend to want it even more. Breaking off contact with a person denies them the chance of talking to you, whether they really wanted to or not. But now, because they can’t they really want to.

13. You Are Independent

you are independent

There’s nothing worse than constant texts or calls from someone when you are trying to get on with work or when you are out. It shows a needy side that is really not attractive.

The opposite of this is not being in constant contact. This shows someone who has their own life and doesn’t need regular updates on yours.

14. You’ll Get Back To Him When You Have Time

People who are well-balanced emotionally don’t tend to get hysterical or worried about a lack of contact from a partner. If you have a high level of self-esteem you won’t automatically assume that there is anything wrong.

You don’t need a constant barrage of attention either. You will, however, assume that when they do have the time they will text back as soon as possible. 

15. You Are Playing Mind Games

Have you recently had a row or disagreement with your man? If you started to ignore him straight away he may think you’re playing mind games now.

If this is the case he’ll get in touch if he wants to resolve the disagreement or if he thinks he is in the wrong. If he doesn’t want to do either of these he’ll not be bothered about you ignoring him.

16. You Are A Rude Person

It’s pretty rude behaviour to ignore a text or phone call. It’s not nice to have repeated attempts at contact go unanswered. If this keeps happening without any explanation he may just come to the conclusion that you are not a very nice person.

If there is a specific reason for ignoring him then make sure you let him know. Don’t let this behaviour continue for too long. If this guy thinks you are not a nice person to be around he’ll dump you. 

17. You’re Having Fun Without Him

you're having fun without him

It’s that old case of FOMO rearing its ugly head. When we don’t know what our other half is doing we can start to wonder all kinds of things. Why aren’t they contacting us? What could be so important that they don’t want to speak to us?

It must be really exciting or fun for them to forget about us. Our minds can wander into unrealistic realms of fantasy. We feel like we are missing out. 

18. He Gets Worried That You Are Losing Interest In him

We tend to want to talk to people that we are interested in. We get pleasure from these interactions. We feel butterflies when we hear a text ping on our phones. Our heart beats faster when our loved one’s name comes up on a call.

Once we lose interest in someone we no longer need that constant contact. We can go for longer periods without speaking to that person. So it stands to reason that a guy thinks no contact is a sign that you are losing interest.

19. He Needs Closure

I’ve said it before, guys like action. They like to solve problems and get things done. Ignoring them is like leaving an unanswered question hanging in the air. In fact, the Zeigarnik Effect explains this very well.

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It suggests that we remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks more readily than completed ones. So the fact that you may not have replied to a phone call or text will be constantly on his mind.

FAQs

Do guys notice when you ignore them?

I would say yes, eventually! Remember, guys are simple creatures who don’t play mind games. They expect you to be upfront with them. To tell them what the problem is. They don’t like having to guess or read minds. So while they will notice after a while, it is always better to have a face-to-face discussion.

What goes through a guy's mind when you ignore him?

He may wonder if you are losing interest or seeing other guys. Or he might think that you are an independent lady and this is a relationship worth chasing. You might pique his interest by ignoring him but don’t do it for long. If he’s genuinely not that interested it won’t bother him.

Will ignoring his text make him want me?

It depends whether he is interested in you or not. If he really likes you then he will be intrigued as to why you are ignoring him. If he is 50/50 he may think that it is not worth his effort to find out the reason. So it is quite a delicate balancing act.

When a man ignores you what does it mean?

It can mean several things. He could be busy and not have the chance to get back to you. Or it could be that he doesn’t really like you. Men that like women will want to be in touch with them. So if he is ignoring you for long periods with no explanation or apology it means the relationship is over.

Do guys ignore you if they like you?

No, not usually, unless they are extremely shy. Guys will find some way of getting in contact if they like a woman. Don’t forget, there are lots of ways these days for guys to get in touch. There are text messages, social media and phone calls. If he likes you he’ll be in touch.

The Bottom Line

Have you ever had a guy ignore you? Did you find out the reason why? Does it match any of the above explanations? Do let me know if I got it right or wrong! I’d love to hear from you!

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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