It can be very easy to get ahead of ourselves andassume that our man is cheating. No matter how much you trust your partner, every now and again you will probably experience these doubts.
It’s completely normal to have doubts, but voicing these doubts rashly and without good reason will inevitably cause problems; that’s why it’s always best to take a step back and have a good think about things first.
Many things can cause us to question our partner’s fidelity; behavioral changes, sudden feelings of insecurity, friends advice, a decrease in affection towards you and even because of a difference in his balls.
The majority of the ways in which you can tell a man is cheating will be reflected in his behavior, but if you can gain any information from the state of his balls, even better.
With that being said, while one reason a man's balls may be empty is because he is having an affair, there are many other reasons why a man’s balls might be empty that don’t always point to infidelity.
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When a man starts to act differently in the bedroom, struggles to get it up or even fails to ejaculate, it can often cause us to worry. Understandably, too. I mean, we’re not exactly well educated on the male production of semen and the ins and outs of how a penis works.
I’m pretty sure most men are even left clueless on this front and they’re the ones with the penis. So, how to tell if a man is cheating by his balls?
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine professionals, “on average, men expel between 1.25 and 5.00 ml (1/4 of a teaspoon to 1 teaspoon) of semen each time they ejaculate, but this amount varies from man to man.” 1
When a man’s ejaculation decreases, this is known as having empty balls. Even though technically speaking a man's balls can never be empty as your testes always reproduce new sperm2, but we’ll get to that later.
There are factors that can change the amount of semen a man produces. One of these factors is, of course, having sex or having ejaculated recently, but there are many other factors to consider when wondering why your man’s balls are empty.
If you are born with undescended testicles, it means that your testicles never made it down to your scrotum; giving it the name undescended testis, as in, never descended.
According to the NHS3, “around 1 in 100 boys has testicles that stay undescended unless treated. The medical term for having 1 or 2 undescended testicles is unilateral or bilateral cryptorchidism.”
“Cryptorchidism is the absence of at least one testicle from the scrotum. It is the most common birth defect involving the male genitalia. About 3% of full-term and 30% of premature male infants are born with one or both testicles undescended. Approximately 80% of cryptorchid testes descend by the third month of life.” 6
So, you might be wondering, how are undescended testicles treated?
Well, undescended testicles are actually something that is most common in infants or young boys and is generally treated at a young age.
If this is a condition found in older men, the typical surgical treatment would be to remove the testicle altogether to reduce risk of further medical problems.
If this is a problem that your partner has, it will have always been prominent and isn’t something that just changes overnight. This is something that you should notice, as typically there is only one testicle that’s undescended.
Something that can simply change overnight is a retractile testicle.
If you’ve ever played with a man’s balls when his penis is flacid you’ll know how easily the testicles move.
“A retractile testicle is a testicle that may move back and forth between the scrotum and the groin.”4 This is something that can easily be fixed, as it can be guided by the hand of a medical professional back into place.
You might think that if your man doesn’t produce sperm then that means he’s recently had sex, however, you can’t actually run out of sperm.
According to Lloyds Pharmacy, “Your testes are always making new sperm, which means you'll have a constant supply even if you're masturbating a lot and/or having sex every single day. Having said that, it is possible to have a “dry orgasm2”. This is where you reach a sexual climax, but don't ejaculate any semen.”
An orgasm doesn’t have to mean that a man release sperm. However, dry orgasms are typically associated with other medical conditions.
Or it can even be a form of retrograde ejaculation, where the sperm enters the bladder instead of emerging through the tip of the penis.
Both can generally be a cause for concern. If this is the case I’d highly recommend that you take your partner to see a health professional for further examination.
Although a man should never be completely out of sperm unless he is having a dry orgasm, a reason for decreased ejaculation could be down to the fact that he either recently had sex or masturbated.
The best way to find out is to have an honest conversation and to see what his reaction is. You should never accuse, but you can politely ask why his sperm production is lower.
If you don’t want to jump straight into conversation, or you’ve not had sex with him recently, you could have a feel for yourself.
While you're engaging in foreplay, cup your hands around his balls and give them a fondle. He won't even realize what you're doing and will most likely just lay back and enjoy it. But, what does it mean when a man's balls are deflated?
If they are feeling a little more deflated than usual, this is not a good sign. They could look empty, and this could be because he has already released ‘his load'.
Many different health factors will frequently change a man’s sperm production, meaning that it can be difficult to gauge if this is due to anything specific or simple health changes.
“Men usually produce the most semen when they’re in their early thirties. The amount tends to decrease as a man gets older. Heredity, diet, smoking status, and overall health can also affect semen volume.”5
Of course, if he’s always smoked then this shouldn’t cause any sudden changes. But, if he’s recently taken up smoking and there is a decrease in his sperm production, then there could be a strong correlation between the two.
As men get older, they can experience both a decrease in sex drive and a low sperm count. This is one of the most common causes and is often overlooked and misunderstood.
Increased alcohol consumption will also have an impact on a man’s empty balls, as well as contributing towards poor sperm quality.
Antidepressants can cause a weak or non-existent ejaculation, and, of course, the effects of depression mentally can cause a lower libido.
You might think that your partner is no longer interested in you, causing you to question his faithfulness, but first take a step back and think about the bigger picture.
Is he acting differently with just you? Or is he acting differently in general? Depression, particularly in men, is often overlooked. Think about your partner’s entire well-being before questioning his fidelity.
We’ve already talked about undescended testicles, but other conditions such as testicular cancer, or even a wide array of different medications can impact a man’s ejaculation and his testicles.
Lastly, he might just not be into it.
It may have absolutely nothing to do with you. His libido may have just decreased or he may be going through a dry spell… Whatever the reason, only he will truly know (unless it is medical).
The best thing you can do is talk to him about it.
Although there are some small factors that link a man’s testicles to having recently had sex, there’s no scientific way of telling. It all comes down to instinct and behavior.
If you notice your man is staying much later at work frequently, or he's spending a significant amount of time not at home, this could be a sign that he is having an affair.
If he is overprotective of his phone or has magically taken a great interest in doing his washing, these are all indicators that he is sneaking around behind your back.
Continuous patterns will produce the most transparent and most true conclusions. Please do not get suspicious of your man if he decides to go out for a drink with his friends or comes home late from work once or twice. You will most likely know in your gut if you feel something is wrong and if he is unfaithful to you.
Cheating is a very complex thing, and that’s not to say I agree with it. I simply mean there is a lot to consider when it comes down to infidelity.
Trust your gut instinct, but also take the time to work things out. Sometimes, the biggest cause for doubt is because of your own guilty conscience or low self-esteem. Make sure that you’re being true to yourself and this isn’t just a reflection on a sudden change of behavior on your part.
If you’ve ever had sex twice in one go with your partner, you’ll know that it can take a lot longer for the both of you to reach orgasm the second time.
For that reason, lasting longer in bed might be a sign of cheating as it could mean that he had sex with somebody else before jumping into bed with you.
However, there are other factors that contribute to lasting longer in bed such as stamina, health, mental well-being, stress… The list goes on. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner to see what’s going on before jumping to conclusions.
No set shape can determine if a man has just had sex. A man’s testicles are oval-shaped, and will naturally fluctuate in terms of fullness due to a constant production of sperm. The only way to tell if a man has had sex by his testicles is by seeing if they are emptier, and even this technique has its flaws.
If you’re wanting to test your partner's fidelity, it’s best to look at other behavioral factors rather than focusing solely on his balls; you’ll find your answer a lot quicker and more efficiently.
If there is a medical answer for your partner’s change in balls, the only way to find out is to talk about it and to encourage him to have a physical examination.
If not, then it might just be because of how he is feeling mentally. Relationships are hard, especially long-term relationships and it’s so normal for both of you to go through rough stages. This will inevitably impact your sex life and the only way to overcome it is to communicate.
Communication is critical, not only to solve the problem but to stop it from happening in the first place.
I will say it over and over again, but communication between two people in a relationship is vital to ensure there is success. If people communicate clearly and feel open with each other, then hopefully cheating will never occur. Communication is also crucial when discussing or resolving problems. Make sure all communication is done in a safe space for both people.
If you still have doubts about his fidelity, then I can only suggest that you take your time to decide if you truly trust your gut instinct. The hard truth is, you cannot stop somebody from cheating on you. You can only act upon finding out. Nothing you do will change the fact, so try your best to focus on yourself and think about how you want to address the situation.
If you have any further questions, or advice for women who are currently questioning their partner, please feel free to comment. As always, share with a friend in need.