Many people confuse the concept of having sex and that of making love. They seem the same, but making love has to do more with partners in love with each other while having sex could be with anyone to satisfy certain desires. These two have minor differences, and someone could mistake one for the other.
When you make love to someone, there's an emotional connection you may both be unable to describe. There's communication and respect for each other's feelings while you still have pleasure, and you would have one of the best moments of intimacy in your relationship.
But when it's sex, either or both of you are there for the physical connection. Your primary focus would be on satisfying your desire with selective attention to body language. Unlike lovemaking, sex tends to bend more towards lust than love for someone. It may be a one-time thing and may not necessarily be because you have feelings for someone.
It's tough dating a guy and knowing if he's really into you or not. So if you're in a relationship and not sure you're with a man for a good love life or sex life, you may be wondering; Is it love or lust? Sex or lovemaking? Here are 25 signs to know if he is making love to you or not.
Foreplay has a significant role to play when it comes to making love. For men, it may not be such a big deal, but it is for women. If a man takes time on foreplay which may include oral sex, it means he cares about your feelings and would be patient till you get in the mood.
But if he's just there for the sex, he would pay little or no attention to foreplay. Unlike sex, lovemaking should involve sensual gestures to make you both desire each other more before getting down to the actual intimate physical act.
Communication with the eyes is on a different level when it comes to sex and making love. When you're having sex with a man or your partner in a relationship, he may not bother to look into your eyes compared to when you're making love.
Making eye contact with a man is one of the moments you both get to express what you're feeling for each other at that time, and it's something that happens when you make love. Your lover stealing glances or not making eye contact with you could mean he's shy.
Observing your ‘language’ during intimacy means he respects your body and sees you as a valuable person to him. Communication during sex doesn't necessarily need to be verbal. If a man is into you, he'll observe your body queues and how you respond to his physical touch.
But if he's there for just sex, he may not pay attention to your face, eyes, body, or how you move or breathe when you're both intimate. On the other hand, he may be nervous about how you'll feel if it's your first time together.
It takes a certain level of connection for a guy to whisper sweet nothings to you, whether it's when you're both intimate or not, and it's one of the signs he is making love to you. Not everyone does this, but it spices up the mood more if he compliments you during lovemaking.
Almost the same thing happens during sex. The only difference is, the words he would be more vulgar and probably offensive depending on your personality or preference.
After a good lovemaking session, there’s good communication between the two people that were intimately involved. It may even be deeper because, at this time, they've shared a loving bond, and some guards are dropped. It may include talks about your personal or career life.
After sex, there's either no conversation, you both face opposite directions, or suddenly become uninterested in each other's affairs. So, there's no connection anymore. Maybe, you could talk about how the sex went, or whether or not you'll keep having sex.
Some men have issues expressing themselves verbally, but when it comes to lovemaking, all the affection they bottle up or are shy to express pours out without any limitation, which is good. It makes them more vulnerable, which makes the whole experience worth it.
There's no affection when it's not lovemaking. The fact is, even if there is, it's just there for the temporary pleasure shared between the individuals at that moment. So if you're intimate with a man and he shows affection, then it's one of the signs he is making love to you.
A man who wants to make love to you will observe your mood; happy, sad, grumpy, to be sure you're ready. He will not mind if it takes his time over again to make you prepared for it; he’ll keep being patient for you to come around at your own pace.
Making love doesn't only make a man observe your mood; it makes him take your boundaries seriously, too, knowing that like you, he also has boundaries he would love to be acknowledged. Making love is an encounter that blends in different feelings.
When a man is making love to you, he'll be open to out new things or sex positions with you just to make you enjoy your time together in bed. He'll watch your face to see how you react to his sensual gestures. And he won't mind if you initiated a new fun thing in bed.
With sex, he may pound on you and do it his without necessarily caring how you feel about his sexual approach. He may not even care about any new thing apart from the one he knows. Which means there's no room for anybody to try out new things. You move as it flows.
In or out of bed, one thing about a man who makes love to you is that he'll always compliment you; dressing, how you handle things, relate with people, and how you smile. He'll have eye contact with you and appreciate every positive thing you do. Plus, he'll organize fun activities to better your relationship.
A man interested in sex would only flatter or objectify your features for his selfish and personal reasons. He won't have time for compliments, especially to you. And he may flatter you enough to feel good, so he can enjoy the pleasure of being with you in bed.
Women love places, people, or things to smell good. If a man tries his best to look and smell good, it's a sign he respects you as a woman and would do anything to make you comfortable. His underwear would be clean, and he'd try to appear with fresh laundry.
On the contrary, if a man is planning to have sex, he may not bother about what the lady thinks about his smelly armpits or bad breathe because he aims to satisfy his desire and move on. Some may naturally do but would not make it a big deal.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
When something goes right, you're happy about it. It's the same thing that happens when you're intimate with a guy. When it's lovemaking, and you both feel the connection, there's a certain feeling of happiness you have afterward. You want to talk about anything or enjoy the silence in each other's arms.
Sex is less of an emotional thing. Some men would openly say that all they want is purely physical and nothing more. Barely would you talk or feel comfortable with someone after sex like you would after making love. You may want to pack your things and leave immediately or just hang around for another round of intercourse.
For a man who would want to make love to you, he aims to treat you right, have fun whenever he's with you, and make sure he's emotionally available for you. He would organize dinner or lunch dates and mind his tone when communicating with you.
For someone who just wants to have sex, most of your talks would be sexual with little or no regard to how you feel about other things that are not related to it. If you observe this, it's not a good sign for lovemaking, and he may not be with you for a long time.
Many women sometimes feel insecure about their bodies. It could be the face, eyes, or skin tone. If your boyfriend, partner, or an acquaintance you get intimate with, makes you feel confident about your body, it is one of the signs he wants to make love to you.
A man that thinks about sex only would objectify your body features, make nasty comments about them, make you see your flaws even more, and could ask offensive questions if any part of your body affects him during sex.
Sometimes when you get intimate with a man, you don't need anybody or anything to know the signs he is making love to you. You just feel a mix of emotions, comfort, communication, and connection between both of you. It's an encounter that sits right with you.
For sex, you may be satisfied, but you won't feel it as deeply as you should as in lovemaking. When a man needs you just for sex, it will be written in his eyes and face. You will feel it enough to avoid it, except you want that too.
It’s normal for guys to get tired after being intimate with a lady, no matter their relationship level. Sex and making love may have strong similarities, but a man who makes love to a lady would want to spend more time with her afterward.
But a guy who wants to have sex would rush off, sleep off, or fiddle with his phone when the pleasure is all over. This is one of the signs he’s not interested in spending more time with you probably has no feelings for you.
Like ladies, men have insecurities too, but take time to let their guards down. If a guy goes intimate with you and feels free to expose his vulnerabilities to you, that's one of the signs he is making love to you.
A guy that is with you for sex may take the time or never show his vulnerable side to you. After all, what he wants is less emotional and short-term, so there's no point sharing them with you.
When a guy is making love to you, he'll ask for your preferences, likes, and dislikes to make you feel right. He would pay attention to your reaction to make sure you're on the same page with him and won't stop till he knows you're satisfied.
If it's just sexual intercourse without any emotional attachment, he will aim to satisfy himself at the end of it all. And it's a sign that he's there for nothing more than the physical connection.
Another fact to know when a guy is making love is that he'll make sure you're okay during and after the intimate session. He'll try his best to make sure you're comfortable being intimate with him.
Intimacy is only fun when you're ready and free of shyness, and you can give it all up to be open to the man you're with at the moment. So when a man does well to make sure you're okay in bed, it's one of the signs he is making love to you.
Cuddling is another form of intimacy and a sign with more feelings for you beyond a mere physical bond. If you cuddle after being intimate, whether you're quiet or talking, it means he made love to you.
On the contrary, cuddling doesn't come after an intimate activity or encounter between two people that have no feelings for each other. However, not everyone loves to cuddle, even when there's love.
Making love is one of the signs that a man loves you beyond your thoughts and imagination because he would stay the night when you're both done. He would do everything possible always to have you in sight.
Staying the night doesn't mean he'll be in your face; it means you get to spend more quality time together, and you don't necessarily have to be intimate. You could try other fun activities.
If a man wants to make love or has finished making love to you, he will keep in touch. He will send lovely romantic and respectful messages to you before and after. He will check up on you to be sure you're okay and maybe, visit you sometimes.
But a guy that wants to have sex won't call afterward. He’d only call or message when he needs to satisfy his sexual urge. His close circle or family may not know, and you both may not be seen together in public places. You'll just meet for sex.
Kissing before, during, or after sex is one of the signs he's making love to you. It's a certain level of understanding and affection for men to get to that level. So if he showers you with kisses in a desirable way before and after you get intimate, then he's in for some lovemaking.
When you receive lots of kisses from a guy without your consent, it may be a sign he can't wait to have you in bed. At that time, he may not mind doing any possible thing to have sex with you, and it's a bad indicator.
Some women get anxious about having sex, especially if it's their first time, they're not used to the man they're about to get involved with, or they don't know what to expect. A man who wants to make love will take his time to make you calm and may even make you laugh to feel safe with him.
If he's not interested in the emotional part, he may lose patience, get angry, or leave you to be alone, as the case may be if you don't give in at his timing. With sex, he would have no regard for your feeling of fear and may not talk to you anymore if he can't succeed on his first try.
A beautiful candlelit room with a lovely fragrance and a piece of subtle background music is a neat, comfortable, and romantic environment. If he puts in so much effort to achieve that, it is one of the signs he wants to make love to you.
Sometimes, if he wants to have sex, he may do almost the same thing but maybe unwilling to go that far, especially if he feels it's a one-time thing. Most men go the extra mile for women they love and plan to be with for the rest of their lives.
One of the signs he is making love to you is when you both enjoy the act and anticipate the same feeling in the future. You both can't get enough of each other. He’d want to spend more time on intimate moments cuddling, kissing, and doing other physical things you're comfortable with.
A man who is there for sex would not care about having the same feeling with you again and won't have time to hang out with you. He may probably be thinking of something else, work, or another woman he can have sex with. And that is not an indicator for lovemaking.
There are many ways to know when a guy is making love to you. Most times, you know when he enjoys making love to you through his eyes. He will try his best to make your sex life a priority. After making love to you, he will stay in bed and talk to you instead of sleeping off immediately.
To a man, making love is expressing yourself physically and emotionally, with an open heart while enjoying the pleasure the action brings to him. It's an emotional connection of the soul and mind which means it brings genuine happiness to him after spending time in bed with the woman he loves.
The fact that he's confident he'll make her happy just like she would make him happy, her ability to tolerate and manage his flaws and respect him as a person. A man loves a woman he's physically attracted to and can understand the reasons for his actions. These and many other reasons are why men fall in love with women.
Men are scared to hurt the feelings of women they love. So if a guy loved you but is scared, he would filter his words, positive or negative, to avoid overstepping boundaries. He'll feel vulnerable talking about specific things, and he'll always want to do positive things to make you feel good.
When a man is falling in love with you, he wants you to know many things about him, meet his loved ones, and suggest or make part of the important decisions in his life. He would like to know about you, meet your close friends and family, and help you whenever you need him.
It's impossible to completely tell when a man is loving you in bed because it varies with different personalities and experiences. For a start, you can use the 25 signs I've mentioned and see how things turn out. I hope you liked this article. If you did, feel free to drop a comment and share it with others.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!