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51 Pillow Talk Questions To Ask Your Partner

Last updated on July 7, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Pillow talk questions are one of the most intimate conversations you can have with a spouse or a partner. Whether you’re doing so at night or in the morning, it’s a great avenue to bond over meaningful and deep conversations. 

It’s not a time to argue or talk about overly serious issues. Rather, the topics discussed are more sensual, relaxed, pleasant, and sometimes, naughty. 

It’s an excellent way to keep bonding with your partner, especially if you both have busy schedules. Taking out the time to cuddle and share your dreams/aspirations, talk about fond memories, explore the most fun couple games, or quietly flirt with each other is not only important, it’s necessary. However, I know that pillow talk can be hard for some couples. 

That doesn’t mean you’re incompatible or boring, it just means you need a little push in the right direction. Everyone gets inspiration from somewhere/someone, there’s no crime in getting the questions and conversation topics right before delving into them at night. You’d be surprised how fast you start winging it when you start with the right questions. 

So, if you are looking for cool, engaging, and sensual pillow talk questions, keep reading the list below. 

Contents

51 Pillow Talk Questions

These are the best pillow talk questions for a relationship that’s fairly new but thriving. You can use them to find out your partner’s views on the relationship. 

1. If you could go back to any moment in our relationship, which would it be?

The best pillow talk questions to ask in a new relationship are usually the simple ones. You don’t want to start with something deep. However, you still want to know how much he cherishes every moment he has had with you. 

2. What did you think of me when we first met?

Pillow talk questions like this take both parties down memory lane. It’s not one of those deep conversations that get serious too fast. If your partner is smart, he’ll know just how to answer these questions while ensuring you both have another night to remember. 

3. Who approached who first?

This is not one of those silly questions that should lead to an argument. Pillow talk questions should be lightly humored and sensual, so both parties can have a little fun answering. In this case, having a little banter about who walked up to who first may lead to more action in the bed. 

4. What do you think I love about you most?

It’s always a great idea to ask your partner thought-provoking questions. Such pillow talk questions usually turn into deep conversations that have the couple laughing and intimately bonding over every word. 

5. Do you think we would make it on a Reality TV show?

Want to know how strong your partner thinks the relationship is? Then this pillow talk question could come in handy. He’ll certainly have to talk about his views on how things are going between you two. So while it's a great pillow talk question, it’s also an excellent way to know what you both think about your marriage or relationship. 

6. What is your idea of a romantic getaway?

Pillow talk questions can be based on reality and fantasies as well. You can go from a conversation about the most fun couple games to fantasies about a dream vacation. That’s why it’s a great idea to ask this question. You’ll both be thinking about fun places to explore and new destinations to consider in the future. 

7. How would you describe me to someone who hasn’t seen me before?

Pillow talk questions like this help you understand how well your partner knows and understands you. It may sound weird to ask this question right after you join him in bed. So maybe start with a light conversation before randomly bringing this up. 

8. If we get a dog, what would we name it?

New relationships may not have reached the marriage mark yet, but it’s hopefully getting there. So if you’re thinking of getting married someday, asking about a dog or other pet names is a great idea. 

9. If I got a really big job in another country, would you move with me?

This is an interesting question, one that may attract mixed answers. Even some couples in a marriage find it hard to move when a spouse gets another job. That’s why it’s important not to take any of the replies seriously. If he says, yes, that’s great. But if he says no, that shouldn’t be a deal-breaker

10. How often do you dream of me?

If you want to know how often this man thinks of you, then this is the question to ask. Next time you’re resting or alone, you’ll still be assured that he’s dreaming of you. 

11. What’s one song you’ve listened to recently that resonates with you?

Music is food to the soul, and you can tell a lot about someone by the kind of music they listen to. So if your partner answers this question, you’ll probably know a little more about him before the night ends. 

12. What’s a weird song that reminds you of me?

Now it’s time to get into his head and find out how he really feels about you. Songs express what people feel in their souls, so his answer should be very interesting. 

13. What are some fun couple games you’d like to play?

It doesn’t have to be the most fun couple games, as long as the two of you are bonding. However, if you both make a list, make a plan to actually play them one by one. 

14. What kind of wedding dress do you think would suit me?

This is another marriage-related question that can either sound normal or too desperate. That’s why it’s important to check your tone when having this conversation. 

15. If I could never have sex again, would you stick with me?

if i could never have sex again would you stick with me

Sex is an important part of any relationship. However, we are aware that there are medical conditions that make it almost impossible to get that intimate. So this is a very realistic question, but remember not to get offended by the answer. 

16. Did you ever think you dated ‘the one’ before you met me?

If this relationship is already on the path to marriage, this will be a wonderful question to ask. 

17. What’s one thing I do that you think is really cute?

You’ll feel better about the relationship when he tells you all the cute things you do. 

18. Which outfit do you love me wearing the most?

If he pays attention to your wardrobe, he’ll know which outfits suit you the best. But most especially, the ones that catch his attention more. 

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19. If travel were free, where would you take me?

Everyone dreams of traveling or at least seeing new places. This is a wonderful opportunity to explore all the options together. 

20. When did you realize you wanted us to be exclusive?

This is a nice pillow talk question to know when your partner really fell for you and decided to get more committed. 

Intimate Pillow Talk Questions

These are the best pillow talk questions for couples who like talking dirty before roughing up the sheets. Pillow talk questions don’t have to be dirty, especially if you’re aiming to have deep conversations. However, pillow talk questions can also be an excellent prelude to role play, deeper intimacy, and sex. Here are some dirty pillow talk questions to ask in bed. 

21. Do you fantasize about me when you’re alone?

Pillow talk questions like this could lead to anything. More intimacy, cuddles, spooning, love affirmations, and even sex. So don’t waste the pillow talk moment on trivial issues if sex is what you’re looking forward to. 

22. Tell me one fetish or fantasy you haven’t revealed to anyone.

Pillow talk questions like this help improve your knowledge on what your partner really wants in bed. The next time you join him, you would have mastered the art of pleasing him even more. 

23. If I tell you my weirdest fantasy, would you be open to trying it?

Of course, you can’t ask him a pillow talk question about his fantasies without telling him yours. However, you have to be sure he’ll be open to it. 

24. Do you ever get yourself off? And what do you think of me?

The best pillow talk questions should be interesting, surprising, and unconventional. This one checks all those boxes. 

25. Would you be open to watching porn with me?

If you haven’t already explored this area together, then this pillow talk question should help break the ice. 

26. What kind of porn gets you going?

This is another pillow talk question that will have your partner surprised. It’s not conventional, but it’s certainly a question you can discuss at night before bed. 

27. Is there a new move you would like us to try out?

Pillow talk questions like these may have both of you trying new things out before the night is over. It’s a question that will lead to some night action rather than deep conversations. 

28. If we had to ditch the bed, where else in the house would you want to have sex?

This question is focused more on the home. Maybe you’ve both had enough of the bed. It’s time to get creative together and envision the places around the house that are still sex-proof. 

29. Are you open to having sex in public places?

Are you the type of person that wouldn’t mind hustling to the toilet at a restaurant for ten minutes of pleasure? This is a good time to find out if your partner is down with that as well. 

30. What part of my body turns you on the most?

what part of my body turns you on the most

You have to be careful not to get sensitive here. This question should rather make you feel sexier, and happy about how amazing your body is. 

31. If we were to travel someday, would you be open to having sex on the plane?

A lot of people like adventurous sex. They’ve had it in the room, kitchen, garage, or car, so why not have it way up in the sky, right? Besides, the next time you travel by air together, you’ll have something to look forward to. 

32. Do you like it when I talk dirty to you?

This could be a yes or no answer, but your partner could also go further to mention how it makes him feel. He could also tell you the particular things you say to get him in the mood. 

33. Do you prefer morning or night sex?

This is an interesting question that may just lead to some sizzling action in the sheets. Plus, now you know when your man is more likely to respond to your advances. 

34. What positions do you think we should try tonight?

If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, this is one question to ask right before you get things started. 

35. What’s your dream wedding destination?

You may not be married yet, but if the relationship is serious, there’s no harm in talking about marriage beforehand. Plus, this is more of a fantasy question, it’s not supposed to be serious or too realistic. 

Conversational Pillow Talk Questions

These are pillow talk questions that may lead to deep conversations. Every marriage needs a breather from the conventional “when is your mom coming over?” or “have you paid the water bills?” That’s why it’s important to incorporate pillow talk questions that help you bond with your partner. 

36. Would you say you are successful?

Find out what your partner thinks about what he has achieved so far. This should also reveal his future plans for your lives and marriage. 

37. Do you feel like you have achieved your purpose in life?

Marriage is the best platform to achieve your dreams. If you are married to a man who is industrious and hardworking, such pillow talk questions will last a while. 

38. What are the most fun couple games you would like to try?

In any marriage, activities that help you bond are paramount. So at night, right before you sleep, asking this may help prepare you for the next day or weekend. 

39. What is your dream job?

Asking pillow talk questions like this will help you understand your partner better. Maybe if he had the opportunity, he’d be doing something totally different from his current profession. 

40. Would you ever consider an open marriage?

Marriage is a very sacred institution for many. However, we live in a century where black is white and red is grey. Having an open marriage is a deal-breaker for some, so it’s important to find out if you’re married to someone who is okay with this type of marriage. 

41. Would you encourage a friend or family member to get married to someone who wants an open marriage?

This will test your husband’s ethics on marriage even further. Will he stay out of it? Encourage it or try to ensure that it never happens? You can find out this night. 

42. If you could choose to die, how would you go?

Pillow talk questions like this may sound a bit too morbid or creepy. However, it can also be fun depending on how you ask it. While no one really talks about death, you’d be surprised about the weird or well-planned-out deaths your partner has already envisioned. Plus his response may get both of you laughing. 

43. If I committed a crime, would you call the cops on me?

Some partners and family members swear they would never turn a loved one in. That's why this is an interesting pillow talk question to ask at night. Do your partner’s morals and values trump his love for you? Hopefully, the answer doesn’t shake your marriage. 

Pillow Talk Questions for Married Couples

Below are pillow talk questions for married couples. It doesn’t have to be a serious conversation. You can ask about the most fun couple games or something new he’s excited about at night before sleep-time. 

44. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?

This is a conversation that could go on for minutes. Plus, it will probably lead to follow-up questions I haven’t even included on this list! It’s natural, a bit serious, but certainly one you want to ask in a marriage to get to know your husband better. 

45. Would you rather have sex with me every night for one week straight, and miss out on doing so for the rest of the month, or do so once every week for the whole month?

would you rather have sex with me every night for one week straight, and miss out on doing so for the rest of the month or do so once every week for the whole month

Marriage can slow things down sexually for some couples. You go from having sex every night to probably once a week. That’s why asking questions like these could help encourage more intimacy in your marriage. 

46. What are you afraid of the most?

Everyone has fears and concerns, but we all try to put them behind us or live afraid every day. This is one of the pillow talk questions you can ask about at night. It should not, however, include his fears about your marriage. Nut if it does, it’s better to reassure him of your commitment before the night is over. 

47. What’s the one thing you hope will happen this year?

Asking your husband about the things he’s excited about could do a lot for your marriage. Maybe you have both been busy, and not had a lot of time to bond or work on your marriage. Pillow talk questions like this get you in his head a little. Plus, you have the chance to put an effort into making his wishes come true. 

48. If your dream job paid a lot less than mine, would you consider quitting to take care of the home?

This is a tough one, but it's a great way to know the sacrifices your husband is willing to make for your marriage. A couple who wants to stay married for the long haul has to consider every decision and compromise made in their marriage. It’s not one of those pillow talk questions men love hearing in marriage, so tread carefully and try not to be judgemental. 

49. If we won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

This is an interesting conversation to have at night. That’s because there are so many things to do with money when you are married. However, this is an open cheque, a harmless question that allows both of you to dream big. If the conversation is intense enough, by the time you both have fallen asleep, the sweet dreams will continue throughout the night.

50. Do you think we are getting boring?

When you are married, there’s that curiosity to know how the marriage is going. However, you don’t want the mood to be negative. So don’t ask about your marriage with a concerned tone, keep things light and a bit humorous to ensure you both enjoy the rest of the night.

51. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

This is one of the random pillow talk questions to start up an interesting conversation at night. You could both exchange views on what the best superpower is and what you would use it for in your marriage.

FAQs

What do you say in a pillow talk?

Building a long-lasting bond with your partner is essential whether you’re married or still dating. However, it’s important to know the right questions to ask to maintain an interesting conversation flow. You can talk about the things you love about your partner or fun activities to try out both in the daytime and at night. You can also talk about first impressions, or reminisce on special moments in your marriage or relationship. 

What can I talk about with my boyfriend at night?

After a long day at work or school, the nighttime is an excellent time to bond. Rather than sticking to sex and dozing off right after, engage in meaningful conversation. You can talk about the first kiss you shared or a memorable spot that defined your marriage. There’s also the topic of ideal vacations to go on. You can also talk about activities you both should try together or a new thing you’ve been dying to try out in bed. 

What do you say during intimacy?

Creating the right environment for sex or intimacy depends on your actions and words. That means what you say matters as well. To keep the mood light, sensual, and fun, you can try giving them a compliment. A simple, “Your scent is so mesmerizing”, or “ your body is so smooth”, will pique your partner’s interest. Other words of encouragement like, “I feel so good when I’m with you”, or “I love how you make me feel”, will certainly set the mood for great intimacy both in the morning and night. 

How can I impress my boyfriend while chatting?

When you’re chatting with your partner, it’s important to keep the mood light, humorous, and yet sensual. Don’t sound too desperate, and keep your messages short and less descriptive. 

Try flirting with him casually and ask questions that will encourage interesting and deep conversations. Don’t try to sound like someone else. If you are daring while texting and timid in person, he’ll think you know how to talk a big game, but not how to deliver. You can also suggest fun couple games that can be played over text. However, remember to stay true to yourself.

What words make a guy smile?

Guys love it when you make them feel wanted, appreciated, and charming. They love hearing all about how funny they are, how smooth their moves are, and how amazing they make you feel. So if you want to make a guy smile, say things like, “ I wish I could come over right now and ‘cuddle’. Or, “ every moment with you is so memorable and special”. They may not consciously admit it, but statements like that make them all soft and mushy inside. 

To Conclude

Starting a conversation with your husband or boyfriend doesn’t have to be awkward. With the pillow talk questions listed above, you have many conversation starters to get you going. If your partner has fallen asleep, keep them for the next night and ensure you join him in bed on time. 

All in all, I hope you enjoyed reading through this list. If you have other fun couple game ideas or pillow talk questions to add, feel free to write them in the comment section below. Before you go, remember to share this article with others, thank you and good luck. 

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Watch this quick video that explains how this one thing will get you to think about you first.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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