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Is He Flirting Or Just Being Nice? (5 Things To Look For)

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you wondering whether a certain man is flirting with you - or just being nice?

Perhaps you’d make a move on this guy if you knew his intentions, but you just can’t read him? 

If so, read on. The guide below will help to make it clearer.  

But first, it’s important that you read the next few sentences carefully. 

For years, I was stuck chasing men who never made their feelings clear. Even in my relationships, it was rare that my boyfriends would show clear signs of wanting to fully commit to me. 

Looking back, this was because I had no idea how to make an emotional impact on men. 

I was just ‘a bit of fun’ who they’d eventually get bored of and leave. 

Thankfully, I was able to turn this around...and it all started when I discovered a powerful aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

This psychological trigger has a huge impact on how men perceive the women in their lives. 

Once I learned how to activate it, guys would often show a lot more interest in me. 

This was the major key that transformed me from ‘a bit of fun’ to a woman worth truly investing in (read my personal story to learn more). 

This is a skill that’s so easy to learn, once you know how. Yet, so few people seem to even be aware of it. 

So, if you’re looking to make a lasting emotional impact on a man, I’d urge you to learn more about how I discovered the power of the ‘Hero’s Instinct’

Of course, it could be that your special man already has feelings for you. Our guide below reveals the telltale signs that this is the case. 

Flirting or Friendly?

Flirting or Friendly?

We're going to take a look at some common situations that could be construed as both flirting, and being nice, and how you will be able to see the difference! Often, a lot of situations could be conceived as either flirty or simply nice, but there are several signs that will be able to indicate if this man is being so kind because he wants something more with you or because he's simply a nice man.

1 . He Gives You A Long Hug

If someone gives you a long hug, you may feel inclined to think that he wants something more from you. Of course, this can be the case. If a man is flirting with you, he will always want to have as much physical contact with you as possible, and drawing out a hug can be one of the most subtle ways to extend the connection between the two of you and be close to you.

However, someone might just always be a long hugger - we all know them! Some people are just very touchy-feely people, and they don't think anything of hugging someone for more than a few second, especially when they say hello. It also all depends on context - if you are already pretty friendly with this person and haven't seen them in a long time, it is normal for them to hug you a little bit longer than expected.

There are a few ways you will be able to know if a hug is flirty or friendly -

  • If a man rests his arms slightly lower, on the small of your back or on your bum, you can be certain that it is flirting.
  • If a guy hugs you extremely close pulls you into their body so that you're both pressed up against each other in a sexual way, this is flirty.
  • Whilst your hugging, if a man brushes back your hair or smells your hair, this is definitely flirty.
  • If a man hugs you for a little longer than expected but keeps you at a distance and doesn't lower his head to yours, this is friendly.
  • If you notice that a guy hugs everyone around him in this way, this can be considered friendly.

2 . He Tells You He's Single.

A man might say that he's single to let you know that he's available and also hint that he's flirting with you. If a man drops the fact that they are in a conversation, this is a pretty common sign that they like you and are testing the waters to see if you are single too. If a man wants you, he will first want to ensure you know that he's single, and by telling you, he will be hoping you will open up and share your relationship status with him.

On the other hand, a man telling you he's single doesn't necessarily mean that he likes you as more than a friend. For example, he might have just broken up with someone and he wants to get some advice from you, or just speak about being single. You might take this as a hint, but he might just genuinely be telling you in the hope that he is talking with someone else that might be single.

There are a few ways you will be able to tell if a man telling you he's single so he can make sure you know or he just wants to talk about it -

  • If you have just met a guy and he tells you he's single, it is most likely always because he's interested in you and wants you to know he's flirting.
  • If a man tells you he's single at the same time hinting (even as a joke) that the two of you should hook up, it's obviously because he wants you.
  • If a guy you know tells you that he's single in a casual conversation, he's probably just being friendly and is hoping the two of you can begin talking about it. He doesn't like you or want anything more from you.

3 . He Compliments You.

3 . He Compliments You.

People compliment others to lift them up and make them feel good about themselves. Therefore, a lot of the time, if a man compliments a woman, she will take it as them trying to flirt with her and make her feel good. Of course, when guys try to flirt, they will compliment a woman to boost her confidence and make her feel good - if they make her feel good, she will want to be around them more! Compliments are definitely a sign of flirting.

However, compliments aren't only used for flirting. We all compliment people, all the time. Even if we aren't remotely interested in someone, romantically or sexually, we will still compliment them if we are nice people. Therefore, a guy complimenting you doesn't necessarily mean that he wants you. This man could just be really nice, or genuinely think that you aced something and he's impressed so therefore he wants to compliment you.

There are a few ways you will be able to know if a man is complimenting you because he's flirting with you or he's simply complimenting you as a friend -

  • If a man is complimenting you by saying how great your body looks, or how incredibly beautiful you are, obviously this is because they are flirting with you.
  • If a guy compliments you about anything and then gives an opinion, such as "your smile is amazing, it makes me happy" or "you're so kind, I think it is so beautiful" then he is flirting with you.
  • If a guy gives you a compliment on something you have achieved, or work you've done and without his opinion following it, he is most likely just being friendly.

4 . He Makes Eye Contact With You.

Eye contact is one of the biggest body language signs we look for when we are trying to figure out if someone is interested in us romantically or sexually. If a guy gives you eye contact, it could definitely be a sign that he is interested in you. But, it often depends on what type of eye contact a guy gives you.

Everyone gives eye contact to others, even if they aren't romantically interested in them. Whenever we meet someone, we give them eye contact. We normally give people eye contact throughout a conversation too, even if it is not 100% of the time. Therefore, a guy giving you eye contact can just mean he's being nice and listening to you properly.

There are a few ways you will be able to tell if a man's eye contact means that he's flirting with you or he's simply being friendly and paying close attention to you -

  • If a guy is giving you prolonged eye contact, even when you're not directly sat or stood with each other, he is probably trying to catch your attention in a romantic way.
  • There's a big difference between sensual eye contact and normal eye contact. If a guy is staring into your eyes seductively, it's clearly a sign that he's flirting with you.
  • If a guy gives you eye contact when meeting you, it's most likely simply to say hello. He doesn't like you like that.
  • If a guy gives you eye contact during a conversation, it could simply be because he's genuinely interested in what you have to say, in a friendly way.

5 . He Seems Protective Over You

5 . He Seems Protective Over You

When a man likes you and wants something more with you, he will feel protective over you and act like he is jealous of the other men around you, especially the ones who also seem interested in you. Depending on a certain man's personality, he may be vocal about the fact he gets annoyed when other men show you interested or he might subtly put his arm around you when other men are checking you out. This is a sure sign that he is interested in you because he doesn't want anyone else to have you.

However, the majority of men are naturally protective over the women around them, and therefore even a guy that simply wants to be your friend may get protective over you, especially when you're around other men that he might see as predators. This guy will simply want to protect you because he cares about you, not because he feels romantically or sexually towards you.

There are a few ways you will be able to tell if a man is being protective over you because he is flirting with you, or if he is just making sure you are safe, as a friend -

  • If a guy is protective over you because he wants you, he will try to signal that you're unavailable because he has you. Therefore, he might hold your hand when other men are checking you out, or give you a hug. This can definitely be considered flirting.
  • The main difference between a guy that wants you and a guy that is being nice being protective over you is that the guy that's just simply being friendly won't get jealous. He won't feel the need to hold your hand or even show other guys that you're his, he will simply protect you and also ensure no guys act badly around you or hurt you. He isn't flirting with you - he's just someone that wants to look out for you.

How Can You Tell If A Guy Is Definitely Interested In You?

How Can You Tell If A Guy Is Definitely Interested In You?

There are a few signs that show a man is interested in you and is flirting with you. Take a look at the signs below and see if the man you're trying to figure out is showing any of these - if he is, it's a sure sign that he is flirting with you, not just being nice.

He's Always Trying To Touch You

When a man is interested in a woman, he will make excuses to touch her, in any way he can. He will want to feel the electricity surge between himself and the woman he likes, so he will brush her arm whenever he can, or even sit as close to her as possible so his leg meets hers. You may not even be able to tell that a man is trying to make physical contact with you all the time, often because it is so subtle, but once you focus on it and try to look out for these signs, you'll be able to tell if he's making excuses to touch you.

He Asks You A Lot Of Questions

When a guy is interested in you, he will ask you lots of in-depth questions, because he really wants to find out what makes you tick, hear about your life and figure out if the two of you have things in common. You might realize that he also asks you a lot about what you want in life, and what your goals and aspirations are - he's seeing if the two of you are compatible. He's also genuinely interested in talking to you, having an in-dept conversation with you and hearing what you have to say.

He Tries To Impress You

When a man likes you, he will always try to show off his best traits and impress you. Depending on the man's personality and skills, he may try to impress you with his intelligence or knowledge about certain things, he might shower you with expensive dinners and gifts, he may make an extra effort with his physical appearance or he might invite you to watch him play a sport that he's particularly good at. Men that are just your friends don't feel the need to impress you, because they know you accept them as they are, and they aren't looking for anything more than a platonic friendship. So, if you notice that a man is going out of his way to impress you, it's because he wants something more with you - he's definitely flirting.

He Acts Nervous Around You

When a man likes you, you will find that he acts particularly nervous around you. He could be nervous about the fact that he wants to make sure he impresses you so that you also feel attracted to him, or he may simply be nervous because he can't keep his cool around you. You will be able to tell if a man is nervous around you in a variety of ways, but the most obvious way will be through his body language signs. Do you notice that whenever this guy is around you he gets a bit sweaty or can't keep eye contact with you for too long, especially when you are close in proximity? Maybe he can't sit still, or his hands are shaky? All of these things are body language signs that a man likes you in more than just a friendly way. He will be flirting with you.

He Wants To Talk To You Whenever He Has The Chance

He Wants To Talk To You Whenever He Has The Chance

A man that likes you wants to keep the conversation flowing with you at all times. He wants to talk to you a lot, and therefore you will notice that he texts you whenever he can or calls you often and always wants to hear how your day has gone. Whenever he has news, you will be the first one he wants to share it with, and you will notice that you find yourself talking to him all the time. A man that stays in contact with you a lot wants to be close to you and not just in a friendly way - he's flirting.

He Gives You His Undivided Attention

One of the best signs that a man is flirting with you and is interested in you will be if he gives you his undivided attention. When a man is interested in someone, they will only have their eyes on them, they will only listen to them talking, or they will want to be in situations where it's just them and the woman they like. Even if you are around other people when you're with this man, he will always focus directly on you and the conversation you are having, and it might even seem like the other people around you don't exist to him. This is how you can ensure a man is flirting with you - he focuses himself solely on you. When men are simply being friendly, they will get distracted by other people, and when you're talking to them, you will find that they are often looking elsewhere and not focusing directly on what you are saying.

He Will Bring Sex Into Conversation

When a man is flirting, he will make sure you know that he isn't just being friendly by bringing sex into conversation with you. He will want you to know that he's interested in being intimate with you, and therefore he will want to open this topic up. He will also want to see how you react to the conversation of sex, hoping to find out if you are interested in that with him. Different men will bring this up in different ways. Some men may joke about having sex with you because they're trying to test the waters and see how you take it. Some men may find it easier to bring up sex with you on text or via social media messages. However a man brings sex up, if he does, it's definitely a sign that he wants to be close to you in a sexual way.

You Are The Only Person He Acts Like This Around

One of the easiest ways to figure out if a man is flirting with you and wants you in a more than friendly way is that he will only act a certain way around you. You may notice that he never looks at other people in the way that he looks at you, he doesn't give a lot of physical contact to his friends in the same way as he does to you, and he definitely doesn't have as in-depth conversations with other people that he does with you. You will be able to notice that he singles you out and treats you differently.

Tips For Flirting With A Guy - How To Make Sure It Doesn't Come Across As Just Friendly

By now, we have hopefully answered your question, "Is he attracted to me or just being nice?" and so it's time to take a look at yourself. Do you find it harder to make it known that you're flirting with a man, or are you just coming across as simply nice and friendly? We're going to look at some of the things you can do to make sure someone knows you're flirting with them.

Use Physical Contact

Everyone has different love languages, but in general, men are very physical beings. You will be able to easily show a man that you're flirting with him by being physical with him. You can start by subtly touching him, like touching his arm or his leg. The more you get to know him, the more obvious you can be when giving him physical contact. You can make sure you hold him in a hug for a longer amount of time, lower your hands to his bum whilst hugging him and rest your hands on his thighs whilst you sit near him. If you are physical with him in a way that you aren't with others, he will definitely be able to figure out that you're flirting with him.

Talk About Sex

Talking about sex to a man not only turns them on, but it also makes them realize you're flirting with them. The next time you talk to this man, you can talk about sex in a casual way. Bring the topic up subtly in conversation and see how his pupils get bigger, hands get sweaty and his trousers get a little tighter - he will probably be imagining having sex with you. You will have him hooked on the idea of the two of you having sex and he won't be able to stop thinking about it. This is a sure way to have him know you're flirting.

Make Sure He Knows You're Single

You need to make it obvious to this man that you're single. You can simply slip the fact you're single into a conversation, or you can make a joke about it. You could merge talking about sex and telling him you're single if you feel confident enough. For example, in the next conversation you have, you could say something like, "I miss constant sex - being single sucks". He will certainly get the hint that you're not only flirting with him but that you are thinking about having sex with him.

Use Your Eyes

Use Your Eyes

When you're flirting, your eyes are one of the most important parts of your body to use. You should try to use your eyes as often as you can when you're flirting, and keep eye contact with this man for as long as possible. Ensure you have your seductive eyes on while you talk to him, and flutter your eyelashes if you can. A good tip to ensuring you have your bedroom eyes on is to imagine undressing him with your eyes or doing naughty things to him. Try flirting with your eyes - it will work.

Make An Effort With Your Appearance

If you're trying to entice a man, and ensure he knows that you're flirting with him, you should make an effort with your appearance. Whenever you know you're going to see him, do your hair, put some make-up and perfume on - he will not only probably be more physically attracted to you when you look great, but he'll know that you're flirting with him, because you've made an effort with the way you look.

Treat Him Differently

One of the main reasons a man may not be able to tell that you're flirting with him is because he may assume that this is how you act with everyone. You need to differentiate between the way you act around him and the way you act around everyone else. If you have friends in common, it may be a good idea to hang out with this man with your other friends, so that he can see you treat him differently to other people.

Conclusion

I really hope that this article has helped you figure out if a man is flirting with you or being friendly. You can also now use the signs that a man is definitely flirting with you to help you find out who is interested in you. You can even use the flirting tips to ensure the man you like knows you're flirting with him and you're not just being friendly.

Did you like this article? Did it helo you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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