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How To Attract An Older Man: 23 Tips To Have Him Head Over Heels For You

by Sonya Schwartz

Older men definitely have their charm. There’s something about that salt and pepper facial hair that makes my knees weak. That’s not all of their appeals though. 

Mature men have quite a bit to offer that men in my age group simply can’t compare to. For one, they are amazing in bed. They genuinely seem to care about pleasing their partner. All of those nights acting ignorant are usually already behind them. I’ve never had an older man blow up my phone or get mad because I took too long to call them back. 

Instead, I get someone that is caring and understanding. As a bonus, older men aren’t known to play games. They don’t stalk you when you say you’re no longer interested in them, etc. either. 

Not only do I love the way that they act, I appreciate the stability that they have. They’ve already got their own house, car, career, etc. Financial security is something you’ll never have to worry about when dating an older guy. There are definitely a lot more perks to this dating scene than a more traditional one where people date those of the same age group. 

How To Attract An Older Man

While there are those great things about dating older men, it’s important to note that older men are looking for something in particular. By now, they know what they want. They know what they’re attracted to. These guys are also the ones that tend to be attracted to a certain thing. 

Fortunately, I seem to naturally fall into that. Guys 10-20 years older than me seem to be drawn to me. Here are all of the things that they’ve told me they love about me, and other women, so you know what they’re looking for. If you follow these tips, you’re going to have an older man by the end of the month.

1. Older men naturally like younger women

While this might seem a bit odd, it actually makes perfect sense when you take biology into account. Men and women are designed to create new life. Because of this, an older man will naturally be attracted to younger women. Younger women are fertile. If you’re wondering how to attract an older man, look your age, but the youngest version of it without dressing like a teen. 

2. Help them feel young

Another key in figuring out how to attract an older man is that older guys love to feel young. This is where a lot of girls mess things up. They try to act mature but take it overboard. If you don’t love knitting and watching old movies, don’t pretend that you do because he’s 60. It’s a huge turn-off. 

He’s dating you, or is interested in you, for you. Instead of trying to act older than you are, just be yourself. If there’s a huge age gap, you being you will instantly make him feel younger. 

Another great way to make him feel younger is to never mention his age or references to his age. If he loves to play golf, and your grandfather used to love to play golf with you, don’t tell him “I miss when my grandpa did that!” Instead, simply tell him you enjoy it. Remember, age is just a number. 

3. Act confident

act confident

Men in general love a confident woman. Confidence is one of the sexiest traits that you can have. It also means that they won’t have to put up with false accusations. Most men have dealt with this at one time or another, and don’t want to go through it again. 

Confident older guys in particular want a woman that is confident. They want a woman that looks good and knows it. If you have low self-esteem, it’s time to work on that. 

4. Be independent

Confident older guys love an independent woman. They don’t want to have to rush in to take care of everything for you. Think about it. Their children have already grown up. The last thing they need is another one. Instead, make sure that you can handle your own. Ask them for help when you need it, which shouldn’t be very often. 

5. Don’t depend on them for financial stability

As the thought of older men dating younger women has become more mainstream, we’ve also seen a huge increase in sugar dating. 

Unfortunately, this has transitioned a lot into more vanilla relationships too. Instead of a woman genuinely liking a man, we’re seeing more women that are wanting an older man so that they can depend on them for financial security. If this is your goal, make sure that it’s clear from the beginning. 

If you want him to genuinely like you back, get your own finances in order first, or at least be working towards it. 

6. Be mature

I don’t mean don’t act your age, but don’t handle things like a child, either. That means no temper tantrums. You need to keep your emotions in check and be able to communicate effectively. Being understanding about unexpected hiccups in your dating life and being able to handle misunderstandings with ease will go a long way if you’re trying to impress confident older guys. 

7. Look at the bright side

By the time older men reach their 50’s, they’ve learned that you don’t have to be dramatic. Older men look at the bright side of everything and try to turn it into a positive a lot more than younger men do. 

As a young woman that has yet to develop this trait it can be hard to always be optimistic, but give it a shot. When life hands you a lemon, be grateful that you can make lemonade. This doesn’t just apply to situations when you want to attract an older man. All men appreciate a woman that can laugh things off!

8. Be a good listener

Every guy wants a woman that pays attention to what they are saying, but this is especially important when your dating an older man. Dating an older man is packed with fun, laughter, and consideration. They are very respectful, for the most part. (There are always exceptions.) He will expect that same consideration from you. When you’re out to dinner, put the phone away. 

9. Enjoy common interests

Dating an older man is similar to dating younger men in a sense. You talk to one another. Make sure that you’re compatible. You’ll also find that you have common interests. Perhaps you both love camping and the outdoors! Maybe you both enjoy things like shopping and going to concerts. 

Avoid stereotyping older men, and find those common interests. (This is also a great way to attract an older man.)

10. Keep up on your appearance

This is one of the most important things you need to remember if you’re wondering how to attract an older man. Older men do not want someone that looks homeless. Don’t go outside of your comfort zone, but make sure that you take regular showers, your clothing matches, and take the time to find matching socks in the morning. 

Don’t show up for dinner with dirty fingernails. He’s a lot less likely to say something, but he’s also a lot less likely to ask you out again. 

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11. Hygiene is important

If you want to know how to attract an older man, take a good look at your self-care routine. Greasy hair because you were tired is okay around the house on occasion, but not when you have your sights set on an older man. You need to take regular showers, etc. Brush your teeth twice a day. Get it together if that sounds like you. 

12. Don’t pick your nose

Normally, I wouldn’t feel the need to include this one. That is until I was swapping bad date stories with a gentleman. He was interested in dating younger women. They were hitting it off great! So, he invited her on a trip to New York that he was going to. 

Then, on the way there, she was picking her nose. He was too polite to say anything but was horrified the entire weekend because he was stuck with a nose picker. If this is a habit, and you’re wondering how to attract an older man, it’s time to call it quits and pick up a tissue. 

13. Have your own place

Those of you that don’t have your own house should be working towards it. This goes along with not depending on him for financial security. You should be able to live independently without him. 

When you can, it accomplishes two things. First, you won’t be too dependent on him. This is especially important early on in the relationship. Second, it’s simply attractive when a woman has her life together. 

14. Smile more often

smile more often

The simple act of smiling will instantly make you more attractive to older men. They love to see beautiful younger women, and young women that are smiling at them are even better. To attract older men in public, just gently smile at him. 

15. Be playful

Being playful is something you need to be able to do if you’re searching for how to attract an older man. Playful tickling can make an older man feel young again. These guys might seem more serious than younger men, but they enjoy having a good time with a lot of laughter. 

If you’re out and about attempting to attract older men, make sure you spend time laughing instead of frowning. 

16. Dress modestly

Your smoking hot body might be part of what attracted an older man in the first place, but there’s a limit. He doesn’t always want everyone else staring at all of the goods. Instead, make sure that you dress appropriately while you’re out with older men or trying to attract older men. 

Don’t wear a hoody everywhere you go in the middle of summer, but don’t wear a bathing suit top that you’re busting out of either. It’s important to find that balance. 

17. Have interesting conversation topics ready to go

When you’re figuring out how to attract an older man, you also need to keep in mind things that will keep him interested. If your older man is successful and spends most of his day in meetings, the last thing he wants to talk about is work. 

However, he probably doesn’t want to hear all about what’s going on with your favorite reality tv show star either. Gossip about Kim Kardashian simply isn’t going to cut it when you’re trying to attract an older man. 

Instead, consider topics that might interest him. For example, watch the news regularly. Get a hobby that you can talk about if you don’t already have one. Pay attention when you get to know each other to see what his interests are. This can help you determine some future conversation topics that will interest him. 

18. Smell beautiful

Mature men don’t always wear as much cologne as younger guys, but they do seem to appreciate it when I smell beautiful. It’s my most received compliment from older men, so there’s something to it. You don’t have to buy luxury perfumes in your quest to attract an older gentleman. 

However, smelling pretty and making sure that your shampoo smells nice can definitely help you out. 

19. Don’t change who you are

When learning how to attract an older man, we often come across the stereotype that an older man loves a beautiful younger woman with long hair that wears dresses. While they do love a beautiful younger woman, she doesn’t always have to be in a dress or have long hair. 

In fact, older men are into just as many differences as younger men are. Some love tattoos and others get weak in the knees for a tomboy. Everyone has preferences. You might not be the beautiful younger woman that one guy is looking for, but you could be someone else’s dream come true. Having a big personality can go a long way when it comes to dating an older man. 

20. Pay attention to him

Yes, you should play it cool with your emotions. However, older men love attention. Make sure that you stroke his ego every once in a while. Tell him what you like about him. Compliment him. Stroke his arm and hold his hand while the two of you are out and about. 

21. Be yourself

A woman faking who she is and hiding portions of herself is a huge turn-off. Granted older men will prefer it if you can control your emotions, but you shouldn’t lie if you can’t. Tell him that you’re struggling with it and that you’re trying to work on it. He’s more likely to stick around and mentor you instead of hitting the road if you’re honest about who you are. 

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This also applies to your interests. Do you love binge-watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians re-runs? Own that. Then, talk about it with your girlfriends instead of him. He’ll be okay with the two of you having different interests and liking different things. 

He won’t be cool with you lying about what you like or don’t like because you’re pretending to be someone that you’re not. 

22. Let him know the age gap doesn’t bother you

let him know the age gap doesn't bother you

When you’re trying to decide how to attract an older man, you don’t always realize that he might not be comfortable approaching you in the beginning. There are a lot of stereotypes out there. One is the pervy older guy that hits on younger women. Some women simply aren’t interested in older men, and their age is a deal-breaker. 

One way or another, you need to let him know that you like older men, such as himself. When he mentions his age, and he may want to see how you react, tell him that age is just a number. (That’s all it really is anyway.) Then, compliment him to let him know that you still like him. It doesn’t matter how attracted he is to you if he doesn’t feel comfortable pursuing you. 

23. Be prepared to deal with crap about the age gap

You’re going to get plenty of it from the world. This can include your family and friends, and some of his. While his friends might high-five him for dating a hot young woman, there are enough stereotypes that are going to result in dirty looks towards him in public to balance it out. You need a big personality before you start dating or making it a goal to attract older men. 

First, there is the stereotype that older men date younger women because they are naive and easy to manipulate. This might the case in a few relationships, but I’ve actually found older men to be more respectful of boundaries and less manipulative than younger men! However, the stereotype remains. 

People may also stereotype you. It doesn’t matter to everyone else that he likes you because you’re sweet and make him feel young. If he has money, you turn into a gold digger that wants a spot on the will quickly. Or how about the stereotype that every young girl that dates an older man is weak? Or has daddy issues? Be prepared for that. 

Last, there are the unknown offensive comments. When the two of you are out to eat, people are instantly going to assume you’re his daughter. You could also be mistaken for his granddaughter. The best way to avoid this is by putting his arm around you everywhere to make it clear that he’s your boyfriend. 

When you can’t avoid those situations, politely correct people and then ignore that it happened. You’ll get used to it eventually, and you’ll get through it together. 

FAQs

How do you keep an older man interested?

Have interesting conversations. Be comfortable in your own skin. Let your big personality out! Talk to him, tell him what you like and don’t like. Be both independent and confident. Give him plenty of attention and compliment him. Avoid being insecure and blowing his phone up. 

How do you tell when an older man is attracted to you?

He’ll call you beautiful, and respond quickly to your messages. At some point, he’ll mention his age to see what you say. He might compliment you. When he discovers the two of you have a common interest, he’ll point it out. Mature men might invite you out to dinner. He won’t do that if he doesn’t like you. 

What attracts a mature man?

To attract older men, you need to act a bit mature. Having control over your emotions goes a long way. It’s also attractive if you both look and smell nice. Know what you want, whether that’s a relationship or a FWB situation. Older men find it attractive when a woman doesn’t play games. 

What do older guys like in bed?

This is different for every guy. Some are into taboo sex, and some prefer vanilla missionary style. The one thing every older guy has in common is that they care a lot about mutual satisfaction. They’ll give you everything that you want, and then they want you to return the favor. 

What does an older man want in a relationship?

They want a woman that they find attractive. Her being faithful and supportive in a relationship are important. A relationship packed with trust and communication is also something older men want. Honest, authenticity, and being understanding can go a long way. 

To Conclude

Dating older men is so common I’m amazed it’s still considered taboo. It’s very common for an older man to find a younger woman attractive, and vice versa. What do you do to help mature men find you attractive?

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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