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What Makes A Man Insecure In A Relationship (19 Noteworthy Things)

by Sonya Schwartz

Vulnerability is a critical subject in any relationship. It’s essential to know what makes a person feel safe and, on the contrary, insecure. Knowing these details can help a person propel their actions to the growth of an association, instead of its downfall. 

While being insecure is a tricky subject for men, there are several things that can tamper with a man’s sense of manliness when dating someone. Knowing what makes a man insecure in a relationship will help you focus more on triggering his hero instinct than making him vulnerable.

If you’re curious about what makes guys insecure, we’re here to help. This article narrows down nineteen possible reasons, with some tips on how to deal with these challenges. 

19 Things That Make A Man Insecure In A Relationship

1. When his woman compliments another guy

when his woman compliments another guy

Most men want to be the center of attention of their partners. They expect their ladies to be entirely immersed in their lives, so that they don’t notice other guys. Therefore, when a female does otherwise (even innocently), it might stir up insecurity in the guy. The male feels threatened in his relationship because his partner is paying interest to someone else.

Little actions like complimenting another male for his haircut, clothes, or anything about his lifestyle, can severely make a man feel vulnerable in his association. He fears that his woman might eventually catch feelings for such a person because of how warm they are around them. Reducing this act might help your boyfriend feel more secure without inciting any problems.

2. Not being a fast driver

Most people expect men to have excellent control over their wheels. However, some men aren’t necessarily fast drivers. This scenario can be particularly infuriating to his partner, especially if she can manage greater speeds on the road. If his partner tends to complain about his driving skills, it might cause him to feel insecure

Having better road skills can indeed make a man feel vulnerable. He might prefer to have a safe trip over driving at higher speeds, and your disapproval will make him feel emasculated. Since men are supposed to have better control of the wheels, your fast driving skills would undoubtedly intimidate them.

3. Maintaining a healthy diet

People rarely expect men to pay attention to the right diet and healthy meal options. This notion can primarily make a man feel insecure if his partner doesn't regard a healthy diet. Scenarios like eating greens at a restaurant when your partner is munching down unhealthy snacks can indeed make a male feel less manly. 

He would be torn between doing what he loves or living up to a masculine impression. Such a person would also have to deal with this scenario for as long as the association lasts. Having different eating patterns can be daunting for couples. It would make one of them feel overanxious about their choices, which is why it’s best to have discussions about it.

4. A high level of emotional vulnerability

Men tend to shy away from revealing their true emotions for several different reasons. The major factor that causes this behavior is the fear of being too vulnerable. The belief that a guy should constantly maintain his manliness makes most males indifferent about being too open in their relationships.

They would rather choose to appear emotionless or cold than open up about their hidden issues. Although most relationships demand men to reveal their soft sides, this fear causes most of them to avoid connecting deeply with their partners. Encouraging emotional transparency is the best way to curb this doubt and push your association to the next level. 

5. When their partner is better at sports

Being good at sports can add to a male’s masculinity level. Although some sporting activities aren't gender-inclined, having a partner that’s better at sports can ignite an amount of insecurity in a boyfriend. He wouldn’t want others to perceive him as weaker because his girlfriend or wife is better at athletics. Therefore, it’s bound to make him lack self-confidence.

Many men love and support their partner’s sporting habits, but can’t deny how vulnerable it makes them feel at times. Nevertheless, getting used to this scenario is critical for the success of the association. Being worse at sports doesn’t tamper with a male’s manliness, but reveals where your strengths and weaknesses lie. 

6. A woman that doesn’t love or appreciate his hobbies

Most guys want their partners to warm up to their interests and hobbies. They’ll feel more loved when their partners embrace these subjects and compliment them regarding them. In the opposite scenario, a guy is likely to feel insecure if his partner doesn’t appreciate these areas of his life. He values her approval, which is why this act will greatly affect him.

For example, if a male’s partner doesn’t appreciate his cooking, he’s likely to feel unassured about his skills. Since he regards his partner’s statements, any negative feedback about his hobbies will make him more vulnerable in the long run. He’ll question his abilities, and this action will make him hesitant to engage in his interests. 

7. Preferring sweeter foods

Most men feel it's manlier to handle strong-tasting foods and drinks. Taking coffee black or drinking harsh spirits serves as the joy of being a man. On the contrary, some men don’t buy into this concept. They prefer sweeter foods and wouldn’t dare go for the bitter options. This action can make a man feel vulnerable especially if his partner can take her coffee black. 

Such a scenario threatens the male’s manliness and makes him feel incompetent. Avoiding bitter food doesn’t necessarily make him feminine, but it will undoubtedly make him feel emasculated. The best way to deal with such a scenario is to accept that being masculine shouldn't be measured by trivial factors but a person’s state of mind. 

8. Eating out alone       

eating out alone

It can be intimidating to see other couples have a good time at a restaurant without having their partner around. As simple as this scenario might sound, it can incite insecurities in a male. This situation will primarily hurt if the partner dislikes eating out with him. He’ll have to embark on such a journey alone, which will only make him overanxious. 

You can appease the situation by doing what your partner loves, even though it’s not exceptionally comfortable. If he enjoys eating out with you, it’s a display of affection that you have to attend to make him happier. Partners should always strive to make themselves feel utterly invulnerable in their presence. Exposing them to susceptibility can create some distance. 

9. Being unable to open cans or jars

Opening cans and tight jars is a masculine gesture that men use to impress ladies. The inability to accomplish this task can, therefore, make a male feel insecure about his manliness. If he can’t help his wife with simple activities like opening a jar, he’ll question his effectiveness as a male. 

Such a scenario can take a toll on the relationship, primarily if the male starts feeling incompetent. He would have the impression that his partner might fall out of love due to his insufficiency. The easiest way to deal with such a situation is to practice how to open jars more often by learning the tactical approach to opening one.

10. Having silly fights

A man would undoubtedly feel less masculine if he fights over silly things with his partner. For example, arguing over who will wash the dishes and do basic house chores. Such disagreements can make him feel susceptible, especially if someone else hears about them. He would prefer to argue about matters involving strength than what will make him look feeble. 

On a lighter note, when a male enjoys having things like pillow or tickle fights with his partner, it can cause him to feel less manly. He enjoys the bonding process but can’t deny the feeling of emasculation at the end of the day. Such scenarios in his relationship make him feel vulnerable, especially because he can’t deny how amazing those playful moments feel.

11. Being ignored by a partner's family or friends

Being ignored can be a daunting experience for anyone. But being ignored by your partner’s loved ones will make any male feel emasculated. Men naturally crave to be recognized and respected by their significant other’s family. When this scenario fails to occur, they start to question their importance. 

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Insecure men scarcely feel loved by others because of how incompetent they feel. Acknowledging that a person’s bad behavior isn’t a reflection of your insufficiencies can give a person more confidence. They’ll love their partners better and conveniently accept others’ display of affection towards them. 

12. Not adequately satisfying his partner in bed

Many men regard the true test of manliness as a man’s ability to satisfy a woman in bed. Therefore, an issue about performance can indeed make a man feel insecure. If physical intimacy isn’t impressive in his association, he’s bound to feel ineffective. The more he can please his woman sexually, the manlier he feels.

This notion is the reason why sexual conditions like erectile dysfunction leave men emasculated. In a nutshell, their sexual abilities drive their manliness. Working together as a couple to resolve sexual problems would ensure harmony in the association. More so, it will convince the man that his manliness isn’t directly tied to his sexual capabilities. 

13. Getting compliments for trivial activities

Men constantly strive to be their partner’s heroes. They want to feel valued and useful in their relationships, and a sense of dependence from their woman boosts their manliness. We can otherwise identify this state of mind as ‘hero instinct’. 

Although women are more independent in today’s world, needing a male’s help with manly duties like fixing a car or handling plumbing issues can make him feel loved. On the contrary, complimenting him for trivial tasks will make him feel emasculated. 

If you praise him for washing his dishes after eating or remembering to put the toilet seat down, he’s likely to feel less manly about your compliments. It would help if you thanked him for tasks that are more tedious to accomplish, which will make him feel more valuable.

14. When a partner doesn’t listen

It’s easy to feel inferior when someone disregards your words because everyone undoubtedly wants to be heard. Similarly, a boyfriend can feel emasculated when his girlfriend fails to listen to him. For example, if they’re having a disagreement and the lady prefers to talk over the male without giving him an opportunity to express himself, he’s likely to lack self-confidence.

Ensuring you don’t impose on your partner’s rights is critical to sustaining harmony in an association. Your behavior should never make your partner feel vulnerable, or it might lead to more challenges. If you observe the signs that he feels indifferent when you fail to listen or allow him to talk, you should try your best to correct this.

15. Making offensive comments in an argument

A person’s self-confidence level can be diminished when someone makes a degrading comment about them. This scenario will mainly hurt when it comes from a person you love. Therefore, a prominent situation where guys can feel insecure is when their partners talk badly to them. 

It’s critical for both parties to be mindful of the words they share to guarantee the growth of any association. Speaking offensively will damage the association more than they realize. More so, it will make the receiving parties more vulnerable, which will lead to more challenges later in the future. Therefore, it’s essential to always treat a partner with love and regard. 

16. Being around muscular guys

A male’s brawny appearance can be intimidating to other men, especially when they’re not as ripped. This can make a male lack self-confidence in a relationship mainly when his partner is surrounded by muscly men. It’s a common notion that women are naturally attracted to brawns, which will undoubtedly put the male in a tough situation.

The idea of his woman finding another male more attractive will make him insecure. He’ll also feel incompetent and that he needs to measure up or prove his worth to this partner. These are some of the hints of vulnerability in men. The more their manliness is threatened, the more they try to account for that sense of insufficiency. 

17. Intimidating sexual history

Most men feel threatened by their partner’s sexual history or love life. If their past relationship has the propensity to outmatch their present, they’ll undoubtedly feel overanxious about it. Such males might worry about measuring up or fitting into their partner’s life appropriately. More so, they wonder whether they’ll adequately satisfy their partners.

Talking about past lovers early on in an association can help both parties come to terms with the truth about themselves. The more the past stays hidden, the likelihood it might turn into a problem later on. More so, it’s critical to dispel intimidation about the past and focus more on the future. 

18. Being disrespected in front of his girlfriend

Being disrespected in public can be mortifying for anyone. Mainly, it can make a male feel inferior if his subordinate or someone younger does this in front of his girlfriend. Most men strive to make an impression on their partners but this is somewhat impossible when discourtesy takes place. 

A male expects to take control of his environment. If his guy friends or coworker disrespects him, he’ll feel incompetent to protect himself or his partner from harm. Therefore, appropriately handling fear or intimidation can help a man feel less vulnerable. 

19. Lack of respect from his partner

lack of respect from his partner

Respect is proof of affection in any relationship. If both parties have equal amounts of regard for one another, there’s bound to be harmony in the association. On the contrary, disrespect from a partner can make the other more susceptible. They might question their self-worth and begin to feel incompetent for the remaining part of their association.

Treating your partner right is key to having a flourishing association. It also prevents them from having a negative perception of themselves and their relationships, which would only cause more challenges in the future. Disrespecting a male will undoubtedly crush his self-pride, which is why it’s best to avoid it. 

FAQs

How do you deal with an insecure man?

Being with an unsecured or vulnerable male can be challenging because he’ll mostly feel incompetent. Evaluating your behavior around him can help him feel less insecure. More so, providing constant reassurance will help him get over his feeling of insufficiencies.  

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What are the signs of insecurity in a relationship?

One of the signs a partner is insecure is when they constantly and unnecessarily refer to your exes. More so, they need regular reassurance of your feelings and tend to get intimidated by your friends. If they smother you with too much affection too early, it could hint that they’re insecure about the relationship.  

What causes insecurity in a relationship?

Insecurities in a relationship rise from a lack of self-love and a fear of rejection. This state of mind could occur from negative experiences in previous associations. If the individual fails to tackle the cause of these situations, they’ll have more challenges in their future relationships.  

How does a man feel when he’s in love?

When a male individual falls in love, he'll crave to be a hero to his love interest. He’ll also cherish spending time around that person and want to be praised instead of disregarded. Being in love also demands wanting to know more about their subject of attraction to appease their interest. 

Why you should never date an insecure man?

One of the reasons you shouldn't date insecure men is that most of your actions will threaten their sense of manliness. They'll act based on their emotions and might try to put you down to feel more masculine. More so, they might try to guilt-trip or emotionally blackmail you into gaining an advantage in the association.

The Bottom Line

Did you enjoy this article on insecurities in a relationship? If a male is unwilling to tackle the causes of his vulnerability and is misbehaving towards you, you should consider ending the relationship to protect yourself. Kindly leave a comment below if you liked this article and share it with others. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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