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How To Improve Self Esteem In Relationships (13 Realistic & Effective Ways)

What do you consider as the most important thing in a relationship? Is it the attraction factor, companionship, the trust you share with your partner, giving capacity, or communication? Most times, people pick the love and trust factors. 

Some include communication and the ability to share some things with each but, they leave out a whole lot of important traits that should be actively practiced for the relationship to thrive properly. 

How would you feel if you have a partner who expresses his caring nature through giving of gifts alone but starves you of affection the other times? What about a partner who spends time with you but doesn’t engage in anything productive all through those times? 

Sometimes, what you need is for your man to say an encouraging word in a particular situation, even though your own self-beliefs can push you ahead. What happens if he cannot support you in such ways? 

The seemingly unimportant words (and non-verbal ones) influence our emotions and eventually, our actions. What your partner does and doesn’t do will affect the way you think and act and, the same thing is true for even non-romantic relationships. 

Low perception of yourself can be a result of accumulated negative feelings triggered by your partner’s actions and choices. You could also have such a great, albeit, negative influence on your man unless you decide to influence him positively.

Self-esteem is an important part of relationships but, if you don’t know how to improve self-esteem in relationships, your partnership can crash without a clear understanding of why it did so. This article includes some of the tips for boosting your partner’s esteem positively and ultimately improving your relationship.

13 Realistic & Effective Ways To Improve Self Esteem In Relationships

1. Show appreciation for even the little things

Most times, we are looking out for the big events while we let the little things that are equally important slide by. You shouldn’t put in the effort to make your partner feel good only when he does something huge for you. Relationships thrive when both partners express appreciation for even the little achievement or milestone they attain.

If you and your partner have been celebrating only birthdays, anniversaries, and promotions, try to include celebrating recovery from a bout of fever too. When you learn to open yourself up to gratitude for the little things you have, like good health, you will make better choices for each other.

2. Give compliments constantly and unabashedly

give compliments constantly and unabashedly

A part of showing appreciation is to give your partner a compliment for the way he looks, an advancement in his career, or for remembering what kind of perfume you wear. Compliments can come in the form of words or sweet gestures. 

For example, you can say words of encouragement such as, “babe, your haircut looks great no matter what type you do" or, “you did well in that promotional exam, regardless of the result, you’re amazing.”

When you make compliments and appreciate a constant thing you do in your relationship, your perception of yourself and that of your partner will improve greatly every day. Men with a good sense of self will find it easier to return the same feelings to someone else, especially someone they love.

3. Sometimes, take credit for some of the good things that happen to you

Sometimes, we allow ourselves to get swept off trying to make other people feel good that we end up not feeling good enough about ourselves. Then, low self-esteem sets in, you start second-guessing your choices because it doesn’t go with the feelings of the person you cherish the most in the world. 

Whether you’re the one doling out the kind actions or your partner, try to take credit for the good situation you find yourself in sometimes. For example, if your man says you look great, accept the compliment with grace, then pat yourself mentally that you are taking good care of your body.

4. Grow together through learning

Many relationships end up quickly and with so much frustration because both partners do not do anything differently in the relationship. They sleep, wake, eat, work, sleep, and repeat the same cycle the next day. 

While these processes are necessary and are a part of daily life experiences, there should be room for growth in your relationship. One of the ways to enhance your self-esteem and improve your relationship is to allow certain choices that will involve learning new things.

Learning things out of your comfort zone changes your thoughts and stimulates your feelings towards each other.

5. Be each other’s cheerleaders

One of the ways to know if you have someone’s love is when they cheer you on when you least expect it. A partner who supports and cherishes you will become your biggest cheerleader even when other people don’t see the potential you see in yourself.

There will be many times you will be down and feel you’re not good enough for the good things you desire but, your partner will be the shoulders to lean on and the hand that lifts you from the feelings of despair going through you. You will also be able to return to do the same thing for him as much as he needs it.

6. Be your cheerleader

be your cheerleader

As much as a man will be there to cheer you on, you must be your own cheerleader and encourager too, especially when you are both feeling low self-esteem at the same time. Apart from the bonding factor of cheering up each other, your sense of self shouldn’t only be as a result of what your partner likes or says is right. 

Sometimes, you should be able to create choices that will suit your needs only and cheer yourself without your man nudging you to do so. Have self-talk with yourself and be your praiser to keep low self-esteem far away and improve the way yourself.

7. Be each other’s soldier

Love comes with challenges you should be ready to face together as a couple. One of the benefits of being partners is that it is easier to fight each other’s battles as a unit rather than individually.

It is very easy to get tired of staying strong and on top of things when you are the only one trying to stay afloat but, as a joint force, one person can uplift the other. A healthy relationship involves people with healthy self-esteem and companionship is one of the traits of a healthy relationship. 

When you see each other as companions and fight for each other nothing can easily separate you from each other.

8. Continue to flirt and date each other even when you’re way past the dating stage

One mistake that many partners make is that they stop treating each other as they did at the beginning of their relationship. Once some couples go past the honeymoon phase, they relent in their efforts to show affection, flirt, or experience romance like newlyweds or new couples do.

If you are to keep low self-esteem at bay and not make your partner wonder what he may have done wrong to make you change, you need to keep treating him the way you did when you first got love-struck and he needs to do so with you too. Flirt like you just met, cherish him like you’re never going to stop.

9. Attend therapy as a couple

When some people hear the word therapy, they assume it’s only for people or ss that are experiencing serious issues. However, therapy or counseling is also for people who want to prevent serious turbulence in their relationships. 

Going for therapy together as a couple will strengthen your bond and help you resolve issues you find difficult to handle.

10. Go for therapy alone too

Again, there is time to do things together as a couple and there is also the time to go at it alone. As much as couple therapy is helpful, individual therapy is vital for your mental health and measuring your self-esteem. 

A counselor is held bound by oath to keep your secret fears safe and walk you through your problems till you arrive at a good solution. The best relationship is one with two whole individuals who can also come together just as much as they can be themselves.

11. See the world together and through each other's eyes

see the world together and through each other's eyes

A couple that stays together is one that sees eye to eye more than they disagree. If you want to improve your relationship and individual’s self-esteem, both of you must see issues through each other’s eyes. 

To do this, your man needs to understand your perspectives on certain things and you should be willing to do the same. Also, it will help if you can both travel to new places together to see what the situation is like out of your sphere.

12. Talk out your differences instead of storing them up

Rather than keep scores of wrongs and misunderstandings, it is best if you lay everything out in the open and resolve them immediately. When you allow disagreement faster, the link between both of you will weaken and your self-esteem will suffer from the fallout. 

You might start to think you failed at the relationship and your partner would probably feel the same.

13. Sometimes, the answer to your self-esteem issues is to walk away

Sometimes, when you’ve tried all you can to make sure you don’t lose your self-esteem while trying to sustain your relationship, the best option might be to bow out while you can. 

Go for therapy, travel together for fresh perspectives, talk it out but, when you can’t reach a conclusion that will keep your self-esteem intact, move forward without him. Live for yourself till you can find someone whose beliefs and lifestyle agree with yours. 


How do you fix low self-esteem in a relationship?

To fix low self-esteem in your relationship, consider going for therapy because a professional counselor knows what works and what doesn’t. While you can try to work it out between each other, getting an expert involved will get you a faster result.

How do positive relationships affect self-esteem?

Positive relationships are healthy relationships and a healthy relationship will involve healthy traits such as honesty, self-care, and self-confidence on the part of both partners. 

How do I stop being so insecure?

You can stop being insecure the moment you realize other people’s opinion of you doesn’t necessarily mean there is something wrong with your personality. 

So, understand and accept yourself for who you are and you won’t feel like you need the approval of others.

What causes low self-esteem and insecurity?

Lack of clarity about who you are and what you want is one of the reasons why you have low self-esteem and feel insecure. Once you can identify who you are or make choices right for you, your self-esteem will improve. 

Can your self-esteem change?

Your self-esteem can change only when you change the activities you engage in and the people in your circle. Switch the negative energy you’ve been feeding on with a more positive one and channel it into your desired change. 

In Conclusion

Your self-esteem and that of your partner can have a huge impact on the success of your relationship. Therefore, you need to constantly make sure you’re living an improved lifestyle to maintain healthy self-esteem.

Did you enjoy reading this article? Please leave a comment below and share it with other people. 


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