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How to Ride a Man (10 Effective Tips)

by Olivia Surtees

Are you looking to impress a new love interest with some wild and saucy bedroom skills? 

Or perhaps you’re hoping to freshen up a long-term relationship with some spicy new sex moves? 

Either way, this guide on how to ride a man will help. It features 10 expert tips to make it an insanely pleasurable experience for both of you.  

However, before you put these moves into action, it’s important for you to read the following sentences carefully. 

There’s one aspect of male psychology that is crucial for women to understand - and this has nothing to do with how well you ride him. 

A deep understanding of this psychological trigger can make all the difference to your relationships. 

I’m talking about something called the ‘Hero Instinct’. It’s a basic primal instinct that all men seem to hold within them. 

I had never heard about it until a few years ago...and now I truly believe this is why so many of my relationships were short-lived.

Once I truly understood how to activate this trigger, the men in my life would begin to act more affectionate towards me and show more commitment (you can discover how I learned this by reading my personal story here).

Few women seem to be aware of the ‘Hero Instinct’, even though it’s so simple to learn. 

If you’d like to make a lasting impression on the men in your life, click here to read how I learned to understand the ‘Hero Instinct’.

Once you’ve done that, you can use my guide to perfect the art of delivering mind-blowing orgasms when you ride him. 

As sex is still quite a taboo subject, people tend not to get deep into it. So, I felt compelled to put together this article, to give you some well-informed advice about how best to bring both yourself and your man to sexual climax.

1. Foreplay comes first – always.

This might seem like an obvious point, but I think it’s important to mention because some people try to have sex straight away, without taking the time to get ready for it.

Whenever you are going to try and have sex, the first thing you have to do is get down to foreplay. A lot of men get excited very quickly, and therefore think that they can jump straight into having sex. For women, in general, it takes a longer time to get physically prepared for penetration. If you are going to be riding your man, you need to make sure that you are entirely wet, and he is fully hard, for it to work properly.

2. Make sure that you are sitting comfortably.

This point is really important. Not only do you need to be comfortable so you can enjoy maximum pleasure, but you need to make sure you don’t hurt him. When you climb on top, take good care of the position of your hips and make sure that you place your legs in a position that you will feel comfortable in for a while. Of course, you don’t need to make it obvious to him that you are figuring out which position is the best for comfort. You can do it subtly. You also don’t need to put too much pressure on finding the best position, because you can always change it if it gets uncomfortable.

When you are ready, it might help if you guide the tip of your man’s penis into you.

Whilst you do this, you can enjoy being in control and tease his penis against your wet vagina. Once he is inside you, and you can tell that you are both feeling comfortable, you are good to start riding – you go cowgirl! Make sure you don’t get so excited with the new moves that his penis accidentally falls out of you – this could be painful and could even bend his penis if you land on it badly.

3. Stare into his eyes.

Once you are riding your man, there a still a few things that you need to be thinking about. The first one is the fact that you should keep eye contact with him. Whether you are having sex with someone you are deeply in love with or you are having a one-night stand, sex is an intimate act.

It’s crucial to hold eye contact with your man. 

Eye contact not only makes everything sexier, but it allows you and your man to have a deep mental connection while you are connected in other physical ways. It can also be really satisfying to watch how your movements can control the way your man looks at you. For example, if you’re bringing him to climax, he might stare into your eyes deeply, or his eyes might even roll backwards. Whatever happens, eye contact is key.

4. Overwhelm all his senses.

You are in charge, so you need to make sure you are not only enjoying yourself, but you are giving your man a great time too. If you are on top, of course, he will be loving it already. However, there are a few things that will make you both feel much more pleasure.

Throughout having sex, you should still be kissing him. As much as he will be enjoying you bouncing up and down on him, if he can feel your lips on his from time to time, it will give him such an amazing sensation. Kissing is also a really romantic thing to do, so it can turn the act of having sex into a passionate act of lovemaking. 

You should also caress his body while you are riding him. If he can feel you all over his body, he will go crazy. This can be anything from running your hands up his chest, or gently grabbing his thighs. If you hold his thighs, it can also be useful for your balance or will give you a little bit more strength if you start to feel tired.

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You can lean your chest down on to his and let him feel your breasts against his skin. He might also feel invited to caress your breasts or your waist when you do this. If you know that he is especially attracted to breasts, he will love that you are doing this.

While you lean down to be closer to him, you can whisper things in his ear. Obviously, don’t start asking how his day was or what his plans are for tomorrow – talk dirty to him. Tell him how good it feels to be on top of him or tell him what you want to do to him. You will be stimulating his mind as well as his penis.

The final thing you can do is make sure that you smell nice. You could maybe add a splash of perfume on, and he will go crazy over your sweet scent.

If you try to overwhelm all of his senses, he will never forget this experience.

5. Try to move your hips around in a circle.

Don’t get me wrong, the in and out motion is great and will work well for pretty much everyone that does this position. However, men love it when you change it up a little bit. So, if you feel like you have been bouncing up and down for a little while, it might be a great idea to change your style.

Start to circle your hips round and round. Imagine that you are trying to feel his penis in every single corner of you. Really grind all over him. Enjoy it, slowly use circular motions with your hips. He will be able to feel that he is going deep inside of you, and it will probably bring him to climax faster than before. It will also probably feel better for you. If you are doing this, it’s important to say that you should use slow strokes. If you move fast while you try to do this, you might hurt him.

6. Change up the pace.

Following on from the previous point, you should alternate between riding slow and riding fast. If you try to ride him fast the whole time, you will tire yourself out very quickly. On the other hand, if you don’t pick up the speed at all, it will take a long time for both of you to climax.

So, my advice would be to start off slowly. Start by slowly moving up and down on his penis, and you will be able to sense from him what he enjoys. If he grabs your hips and tries to move you up and down at a faster pace than you are going, go with it and start to move faster. Once you have been moving fast for a while, start to slow down the pace and start moving your hips round (see point 5). This will also be really useful for you to take a breather if you do feel out of breath or tired.

Keep alternating between a slow pace and a fast pace. When you feel like you are both going to climax, pick the speed up to a faster pace than you have ever done. Fingers crossed, this technique of changing the pace will not only let your sex last longer, but you should also finish together.

7. Turn around while riding him.

This really depends on whether you and your partner are into trying new positions, but it could be a really great idea to turn around and then start to ride him again. If he is a man who appreciates ass, this will also turn him on. You can choose whether you want to go straight into this position, or you want to ride him frontwards first.

I would recommend riding your man facing him at first, just so you can sustain good eye contact and start to feel more confident and comfortable with each other. Once you are having a great time, you can get off. He might look upset that you’ve got off him – but he doesn’t know what is happening next.

Before you turn around, it might be much appreciated by him if you slide down and give him a blowjob. This will also keep his penis hard, and make it lubricated and ready to slide in. Then, turn around and lower yourself on to him (always using your hand to guide his penis into you). 

Just start riding him like you were before. This position might be really helpful to you if you are a little bit self-conscious about showing facial expressions or letting your breasts giggle around.

In this position, you can also rub your clit while bouncing around on him. As well as this, he will most likely grab your ass while you ride and it will feel great.

8. Do what makes you feel good.

As selfish as this sounds, it must be said. Not only are you going to be feeling confident and empowered during this position, but it is probably one of the only positions that place the woman in power. You can use your body and make yourself feel good.

If he is normally on top you might not get as much satisfaction from him than you actually need or want. In this position, you can use his penis to make you feel good. I’m sure you will be focusing on the person that you are having sex with, especially if it is your partner. However, it might actually be a good idea to just think of it like they’re just an object of your pleasure. If you feel like you need to, you can climax before he does, and then work on him. He will probably take more time to climax anyway, so you most likely be able to orgasm more than once.

Men also love it when you take control and make yourself feel good, with them. He will get off on the fact that you are having such a good time and feeling so much pleasure. The chances are that whatever makes you feel good, will also make him feel good.

9. Communicate with him.

Just because you are the one in control, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have to do any work. For you to both have great sex, you both need to put in the effort. Everyone is different when they have sex, so it’s important to understand what works for you both when you are together. You can simply ask him what makes him feel good.

Most men like it when their woman is vocal during sex because it shows that you are having a great time and he is providing that. So, you can ask him if he likes it when you moan and groan. If he does, make a point of being vocal during your steamy session.

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You could also ask him if he wants to go deeper inside you. If he does, you can simply pop a pillow under his ass or get him to bend his legs rather than laying flat. This will give you deeper penetration, leaving you both feeling maximum pleasure.

You could also ask him if he likes anything a little bit kinkier, or he has any fantasies that he wants to play out with you. If he does, he will feel open to expressing them, because you have opened up the conversation and shown him that you are happy to try something new. Some men will really enjoy being dominated, and if they do, this position is great to make him feel in submission.

10. Have fun with it and don’t think too much.

One of the most important things when it comes to sex is that you should be both having fun. Unless you want it to be a very serious lovemaking session, there should always be some giggles and mess-ups. Nothing in life is perfect, and so sex shouldn’t have to be either. Even though all these tips will help you to ride your man like the cowgirl you are, it might not always go how you wanted it to. Don’t beat yourself up if things go wrong or neither of you are feeling the way that you want to be feeling. Like I said earlier, everyone’s sexual preferences are different, so just do what feels good for the two of you. If something doesn’t feel good, change it up.

If you put too much pressure on riding perfectly, your man might notice that you aren’t fully letting go and allowing yourself to enjoy your time with him. This will probably lead to him being turned off. No one wants to have sex with someone who is very serious and looks too occupied with the details of the matter. Your man will want you to enjoy yourself, so do.

So, let yourself go. Take all of the tips in this article and make it your own. Be confident in what you’re doing, and don’t act self-consciously. Men find it a real turn on when women take control and know what they want in the bedroom. Of course, you want to ride your man well, but it shouldn’t be your main focus. Your focus should be on pleasing yourself and your man.

Sex should be anything but boring and monotonous, so this position is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. However, if you find that you have become a pro at riding your man after lots of practice, it might be time to move on to some other positions. Have fun with it.

FAQs

How Do You Ride A Man Perfectly?

Once you are on top, assume a comfortable and safe position that won’t hurt your man. Without putting all your body weight on him, begin moving your body in ways that bring pleasure to you, chances are, if you feel good, he may feel great as well.

How Can A Man Get Better In Bed?

Sex involves two people, and sometimes it can get boring fast if you're doing the same thing every day. Try doing some sexy research together with your partner, and collectively figure out what both of you would like to try. Also, try to set the moment long before it happens, flirty text messages and foreplay should do the trick.

How Do You Ride A Guy Without Getting Tired?

Sex is all about passion, and sometimes, overthinking it could take away from the fun and ecstasy of it. However, to spice things up, try to get creative with different positions and places other than the bedroom, but most importantly, communicate with your partner on what gets them on.

How Do You Kiss A Guy?

Some helpful tips are to use a lip balm for smoother lips and simply follow your passion and desires for the other person. Some skills are better learned personally, with several opportunities to get better at it one kiss at a time.

How Often Does A Man Need To Release Sperm?

There isn't a daily or weekly recommendation for men to ejaculate, especially since their sexual lives may differ. Everyone is different, while some men can ejaculate 5 times in a row, others may find it exhausting trying more than one or two times.

Conclusion

I really hope that this article has given you some tips on the best way to ride your man. I’m confident that if you put some of these tips into practice in your bedroom, you will both be very sexually fulfilled and happier than ever trying this new position.

So, did this article help you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you. 

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Olivia Surtees
After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession – writing. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Being able to show not only my passion for writing, but also my passion to help others in their relationships, means the absolute world to me and I hope to continue doing so. Studying the vast and complicated world of relationships entices me, and I am constantly striving to learn more, so I can then help others with more knowledge and experience.

4 comments on “How to Ride a Man (10 Effective Tips)”

  1. This was super helpful and informative. I’m very much a perfectionist and the note about letting loose and having fun was something I really needed!

    1. Same here! I get preoccupied with the details.... I'm gonna make myself relax AND just enjoy the moment! Great article!!!

  2. I met this guy over a month ago and really like him and after the third time we hung out and had sex, I texted him asking him what he was looking for and expressed that I am attracted to him and wanted to get to know him more and see where it goes. His response was not what I expected and I clarified that I wanted to see where it went. Almost 2 weeks later he finally texted me again and we hung out. I think he is only wanting casual right now but I do genuinely really like him. He doesn't text me much maybe once or twice a day or every 2-8 days. The sex we have is amazing but he is always on top and I feel like next time it should be my turn but it's been years since I've been the one on top and I'm very insecure and self conscious about my body. How do I know if he is as into me as I am into him? Also, when we last had sex we cuddled for a bit then since I noticed he was really tired I told him I should go so he could sleep. As I was getting dressed he just watched me but didnt say anything. I have never stayed the night at his place as he has never asked me to or brought it up. What do you advise I do in order to know whether he wants me to stay the night at his place or not? He has never asked me to or offered and I dont want to just assume he wants me to. I want him to want me as more than a Feb as I want to get married and have a family of my own and I can see it clearly with him. I need help lol

  3. *friends with benefits (not feb) I just want him to be as into me as I am into him and for him to want me more than once a week or a couple times a week.

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