Yes, we have all heard of the age-old saying that opposites attract, and that might also be true when it comes to marriage. But, I’m wondering whether this saying could be a double-edged sword for relationships because if opposites attract, then what happens when ‘opposites’ mean you have nothing in common with your spouse?
It is a well-known fact that one of the best ways to create a happy marriage is to spend quality time together. However, if you and your husband share no similar passions, then quality time together could quickly turn into something drab, boring, and complicated - at least for one of you.
Thankfully, I will be sharing some great strategies that can be used by couples who have no similar interests - in order to make your bonding time less awkward.
A happy marriage comes with so many benefits - less stress, more support, a sense of belonging, an avenue for growth. However, the absence of a shared interest may lead to a depressing or stale marriage. And, mind you, a couple may have joint interests at the start of their dating life but may begin to grow apart during marriage when changes begin to set in.
So now, let’s look at four things you can try to reignite your relationship if you feel that you and your other half have nothing in common.
How many times have we heard the phrase 'communication is key'? If you've reached that place where you feel that your marriage is stalling and you both hardly have any similar interests, then I would suggest the first thing to do is communicate your concern to your partner. Doing so will help ensure that both of you are on the same page in terms of how you feel - as there is a possibility that you could be the only one feeling that way.
Communication is the best way to bring your husband's attention to the issue. But be careful not to sound like you're blaming him when you talk with him as your tone could only make the situation worse. Once you are both on the same page, then it's time to have a combined soul-searching session. Sit down as a couple and try to find out when and where the problem started.
Surely, there was a point when both of you had at least one similar interest. Try to find out when you both started drifting apart when it comes to that specific common interest. What happened? Was someone else responsible or was it that new job? Did it happen when you started having children? Is it as a result of a monotonous everyday marriage routine?
Communication will help you both place your fingers on the root of the problem. Next, go back in time. Find out the activities that both of you used to love doing together when your love life was still blissful. It is absolutely vital to sound positive when communicating. Don't sound defeated, and don't throw blames. Once you've gone past this stage, then it's time to do the next thing...
Let's be real, you may not need to have a lot of similar interests with your partner to get married. However, it is crucial to be able to do some things together to keep the flame burning. Remember those romantic dates you planned when you both started dating? Remember those fun trips that created so many beautiful memories that linger on?
Tying the knot does not mean those romantic dates and fun trips are no longer necessary. In fact, to keep your marriage 'young' and exiting, you need to keep making plans for new outings, dates, and trips if you can afford them. If you can't afford them at the moment, then plan something at home.
Aside from the actual outings planned, the act of planning together can bring both of you closer. It also gives you something to look forward to in positive anticipation. Romantic dates are not meant for 'kids' or new love-birds only; they are as important to every marriage as they are to any new relationship.
So what are some of the exciting activities you can plan with your other half without breaking the bank? You can try a new restaurant or, better still, create your own romantic date night at home. The important thing is that you both should put in the effort to make it work. And speaking of effort, your marriage will require even more of it than it did when you two were only dating.
This will require a little bit of brainstorming. Developing a common hobby can create great team-spirit in any marriage. It is also one of the more effective ways for couples to deepen their sense of connection, intimacy, and (more importantly) friendship.
Granted, you don’t need to have the same hobbies with your spouse to make your marriage work. However, engaging in individual hobbies for too long only causes couples to miss out on a lot of opportunities to become intimate with each other.
So let's go back to brainstorming. Sit down with your spouse and go through each other's interests - one after the other. Take note of the ones that are similar. As you and your husband surf through idea after idea, try to narrow down on a few important pointers. For example, does your spouse prefer physical or mental hobbies?
Additionally, is there a joint interest you both can share if money was not a problem? What are the current interests that your partner has? The point of all this is to help the two of you get to the core of each other's interests.
If the hours pass on and it seems that there are no similarities, that does not mean you should give up. It may take a longer time than you think. At this point, don't be afraid to try your hands on at least one of the activities your other half loves to do. You never know; you may also find yourself enjoying it.
You do not need to start planning outrageously romantic dates, luxury cruises, or anything like that. Start with the simple things. If your other half loves to watch sports, try watching a game with him, especially if you have never tried it before. I can see you frowning, but you'll never know if you actually like something until you try it.
If your other half has never gone shopping with you, you can also make shopping time a family time. It does not have to be always. Try to get your husband to go with you on one occasion and see how things turn out. Remember to always keep a positive and cheerful attitude throughout - it may well rub off your spouse. After all, no one wants to be around anyone emanating negative energy.
Aside from his favorite sports show, you can also lure him into joining you for your favorite television program. Or, the two of you can try rewatching your favorite movies together.
Another effective avenue for couples with nothing in common when it comes to interests and passions is exercising or doing some sports together. Exercise time can actually be family time. This way, you will be killing two birds with one stone - spicing up your married life and living a healthy life.
If you have kids, family exercise time is something they can easily become a part of. Who likes to exercise alone anyway - and what better company than doing it with someone you love? You can help each other set up and achieve some training or fitness goals while bonding together.
Exercising together can also help to teach you how to rely on each other and motivate each other. The best thing is that it costs almost nothing and you can start immediately.
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Despite what most people think, a relationship can work even if the couple shares no similar interests. However, such connections will depend on other factors to keep them flourishing such as romance, tenderness, or a strong sexual connection. However, it is important to explore new interests together for a more blissful marriage - particularly when these other factors are absent.
Having a conversation with your husband who has different interests from you does not have to be a challenge. You can quite easily talk about the family, children, and recent news topics. I firmly believe that having differences of opinions is actually a great opportunity for you both to engage in conversation - especially if both sides respect their differences.
Finding similar ground requires a lot of communication, effort, and attentiveness. Reminiscing about the early days of your courtship may help trigger memories of what brought you together in the first place and the things you used to do together. Make a joint effort to try out each other's interests while figuring out new things you can do together.
Joint interests are helpful, but they are definitely not an absolute necessity to make a marriage work. This is true, particularly when compared to other essential factors such as affection, love, respect, attention. A marriage can survive without similar interests but shared passions have a way of spicing up any marriage or family life.
Most marriage counselors and psychologists suggest that people who are too similar are less likely to have a lasting marriage as compared with being with someone who differs considerably from you. However, it is always beneficial to have at least one common interest, no matter how different you are from your spouse.
At first glance, the options may seem very few when it comes to finding a common interest with your spouse. But it doesn't have to stay this way as with a combined effort, you could both open new doors and find new common ground. Start by following the simple methods described in this article. Bear in mind that there is no rule of thumb in this regard as similarities and differences both contribute to healthy relationships.
I hope you enjoyed reading this piece as I did writing it. The options I have offered in this article could help reignite the flame you both shared and enable you to find or create new common interests.
Don't hesitate to let me know what you think in the comment section. And if you liked this article, feel free to share it.
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