Do you worry that you're an inherently unattractive woman?
Do you feel like you repel men through no fault of your own?
Are you starting to lose faith in the friends who tell you that you'll find someone one day?
There's a lot of fluffy feel-good dating advice out there for women, which isn't based in reality.
I think it's better for women (and men) to know the truth about their situation, so they can make moves to fix it.
That's why I have created this list of signs that you're an unattractive woman. Don't worry, it's packed full of tips to change the situation too.
I'd also like to share the story of how you can win the heart of your dream man, regardless of how naturally attractive you are.
In the past, I was the woman who could attract men for short casual relationships, but nothing more.
I wanted a loving boyfriend - and felt like I was a catch - but men would consistently disappear before we really got to know each other.
This all started to turn around when I began to learn about a psychological trigger in the male mind called the 'Hero's Instinct'.
When activated, this trigger can release intense and lasting feelings of desire within a man. Do it for long enough and it's possible to get him ADDICTED.
I know because this was how I turned my dating life around - and I know you can do the same. Click to learn more about my journey learning how to trigger a man's Hero's Instinct.
This is my #1 tip for all women feeling frustrated with their love lives, whether they consider themselves attractive or not.
Either way, this list of unattractive traits within women will surely prove useful. Some could be the least unexpected things, while others could be obvious and expected but a little hard to live with, accept or change. Here are 37 signs to know if you’re an unattractive woman or it’s all in your head.
Table of Contents
Your self-esteem is simply the opinion you have about yourself, negatively or positively. Having low self-esteem is one of the first signs that make you feel like an unattractive woman. It makes you unable to handle any problem you face with yourself as an individual and messes with your mental health.
When you see yourself in a critical light and negative way, you tend to attract that to yourself. No matter how beautiful you may be, people may not see you that way if you don’t acknowledge it first. Your attractiveness starts from you.
People love funny women. A bad sense of humor is a major turnoff for many people. It’s okay if you flow with any conversation you have with a guy by just responding with competent answers instead of trying to get too familiar with them by making fun of their points.
Having a bad sense of humor is not just about telling jokes that are not funny; it’s also about saying jokes that are hurtful or out of context to the topic of discussion. When you talk to a guy, you tell jokes, and you observe he’s not laughing at them, it could be a sign that your sense of humor makes you sound unattractive.
Lack of attention happens when you look reserved and too unwelcoming for people to approach or relate with. From the way you look in public, you can either encourage or discourage people from giving you attention.
As said earlier, it may not be from your physical appearance. Sometimes what we think reflects on us and sends a message to people. So you may look pretty, but your countenance may look for you to get attention from people. This is one of the signs you experience when you’re an unattractive woman.
If your hygiene is poor, that’s another sign that you’re unattractive. Nobody wants to relate with a woman that wears unclean clothes or smells bad. So if you barely use fragrant, your clothes are dirty, and you don't care about them, then it's one of the signs that you're unattractive. People will avoid coming close to you because they'd feel disgusted if they do.
Some would think if they tell you how you look or try to give some corrections on how you appear, you may take it the wrong way. So they'd be on the safe side and stay away. Keep this in check.
Another physical thing that may go wrong is if your dressing sense doesn't fit—your dressing appearance matters. Imagine wearing tees and jeans to the beach when you should wear a bikini. That is unattractive. Attractive people love to look and feel good about themselves, so they try as much as possible to stay on track when it comes to their outfits.
Another problem could be if your dressing doesn't fit with your body type. For instance, always wearing a straight dress all year round when you have a beautiful coke body shape, or wearing a skintight dress when you don't have a firm tummy. A bad sense of fashion is a sign of unattractiveness.
A woman’s hair is part of her pride. Your hair is one of the first things people see on your body. A bad hair day ruins your whole appearance if you don't pull it off well. So it's okay to say that bad hair makes people look unkempt, hence unattractive.
Some women even go with stinky, untreated hair or rough-looking ones with dandruff, which is not attractive for a girl. It makes it worse when you're comfortable going out with it for occasions or places that have many people present. If they react to it negatively, it's one of the signs that you're not attractive.
Being opinionated is not bad if you can learn to give others the chance to speak and express their views. It gets annoying when you feel you're always right, thereby not listening to them and changing their original idea of things. It means they still have to agree with you whenever you air your perspective about situations or plans.
When people discover you to be this kind of person, they withdraw, which means you suddenly become the person they don't want to relate with. So you become that person everyone avoids, and it’s not nice. It's not a good sign to start with if you want to be attractive.
As minor as a bad attitude may sound, it makes people look unattractive. If a guy has an experience with a woman that has a bad character, it may take time for him to relate with her again. So try to listen to the way you respond to people. Don't be rude or mannerless in your conversations.
Respond politely and if you feel it's going in a negative direction, say it in a friendlyway. Bad attitudes ruin good potential relationships even when you're drop-dead gorgeous. It's one of the signs you should look out for if you feel you're an unattractive woman.
Another sign that you're unattractive is your posture. The way you walk or sit affects your attractiveness and professionalism. It tells how bold you are about yourself and anything you do. Your posture says a lot about your personality.
So it could make you unattractive if you don't do it right. For instance, sitting with your legs wide open is unsuitable for a woman. If you walk slouching, being self-conscious, or stiff, it makes you look like you're too cold and snobby for someone to approach.
Confident people always appear as attractive people. They’re known to be successful generally. When women have nothing to offer but are confident about themselves, they tend to get all the attention they need from people. The opposite happens to a woman that lacks self-confidence.
Even though she has the world and more to offer, nobody seems interested because she can’t defend her skills. Her level of boldness may be so low that it affects her speech and appearance as a boss. If you’re going through this, it is a negative trait, and it may be one of the signs that you may not be an attractive woman.
Attractive people don’t care about what people have to say except they’re going to hurt others. They live life the way it comes, and they stay as happy as they want to be. You get more unattractive when you begin to be conscious about other people’s opinions about how you should take care of yourself as a woman, dress, talk to people, or appear in public.
When you start thinking of how to please everyone that complains about your lifestyle, it’s one of the signs of unattractiveness, and you should watch out for it. Try not to care much about what people have to say.
One of the signs of unattractiveness you should look out for is when people continuously advise you on your skincare routine. It means they feel you have bad skin, and you have no clue how to take care of yourself, so they continuously suggest different skincare routine types for you. This happens when you have many skin reactions or tags that look out of control.
That’s their little and indirect way of saying, “you look unattractive with your skin because it looks bad.” Some people could volunteer to buy you the products, supervise the routine, or volunteer to help you care for your skin.
Attractive people are calm, mature, and only talk when asked to give suggestions or contributions. When they want to speak, they ask if it’s okay to do so. Being loud means you're excessively open about things, and you can’t control your voice tone or the way you talk to people.
It means there's no filter, and you don't know when the time is right to say certain things. Loud people sometimes get involved in fights, mostly if you stop them from expressing themselves. They have no control over their words and say unpleasant and stupid things without minding their action's consequences. Being loud is one of the signs of unattractiveness.
Talking about the things people have no interest in is one of those unattractive woman signs. Don’t get this wrong. It’s okay to talk about various topics with your friends or other people, but only if they’re interested in them. You know they love what you’re talking about when they respond whole-heartedly and contribute logical points in the discussion.
But when you observe that people don’t listen, reply to, or even care about your kind of conversations, then there’s a problem from your side that you need to check. They may pretend to listen and agree with you only to send you off faster to avoid a lengthy discussion.
Attractive people seldom get advised to put on makeup because they either look beautiful naturally or use light makeup to look neat. Instead, their beauty gets appreciated whenever they walk into a place. If you get advised by people to use makeup to define your beauty, then it may be one of the signs that you’re unattractive.
People find ways to say obvious observations to avoid pissing you off. Instead, they would tell you in different indirect ways, so you don’t get offended by their blunt words. If you get this a lot, maybe you need to observe yourself during the times they do.
When people are attracted to you, they compliment you based on honest facts and what they see in you, like ‘I like your hair. It looks neat’, or ‘I love your dress.’ But the opposite happens when they find you unattractive.
They compliment you on the least expected things or give you weird compliments like ‘I like your phone pouch,’ or, ‘I like your bangles. They remind me of the ones my grandma had back in the days’. They say those things, so you don’t feel bad that they didn’t leave you compliments, but they don’t say them from their hearts in reality. That’s one of the signs you’re unattractive.
People that have short tempers tend to have a few friends with selected people to talk to. It's not because they choose, but not everyone likes to relate with them. It scares many people away. People find patient women they can talk to without quickly getting angry or telling jokes without finding offense.
If you fall in the category of short-tempered people, that may make you either lose friends or have people who only need help to come to you. If you feel unattractive, check your temper. Attractive people try to control their tempers no matter what the situation may be.
People find ways to complain about others, whether you're perfect or not; there would always be flaws for them to see. This means that a skinny girl would be too thin to people, while a plus size girl would be too fat. What matters is how confident you are in your skin, how you carry your body, and what you say about yourself when you talk to people.
If you look in the mirror and all you see are your flaws, you’re unattractive, and that's how people would see you. People think you're unattractive when you make them feel so. Having negative thoughts about your body size is a sign you're not attractive.
Let's say you're in a bank and there's no pandemic, someone walks up to you and asks to borrow your pen for a few minutes. You refuse to lend them your pen, or you completely ignore them. They may not see it as a big deal, but someone else observing you from a distance could see it that way.
Another instance is you refusing to help a lady with kids who asks you to help her carry a bag while changing her baby’s diaper. You're an adult, and you can refuse if you feel like it, but that's another bad sign that may make you look unattractive.
Arrogance is one of the signs of being unattractive. It means you focus on yourself and lack empathy for other people or what they're going through. Arrogance makes you look selfish with little or no time for your friends or what they may have to say to you.
It shows you feel the world revolves around you, making it difficult for people or your loved ones to come close to you. Arrogant people don't get the chance to make good friends and send out an aura of a little fear to people around them.
Asking for favors is not a bad thing. It only gets degrading when you keep doing it all the time, whether it's a need or not. Attractive people only ask for help when they need it. You notice people begin to give you little or no audience when they discover your only talk with them is to ask for favors. It makes you look like a beggar or helpless woman even when you're not.
Asking for favors without returning them makes you have less dignity and self-respect, hence, unattractive to yourself and your loved ones. This doesn't look unpleasant initially until it eventually gets out of hand.
Attractive people find it easy to start conversations with other people because they are sure they’ll get responses. And they attract other people to talk to them too. It’s an excellent way to make new friends and make the best use of the moment with them. So they try to make the conversation flow naturally without stress.
Sometimes, they could ask the person they’re talking to and involve them in the interaction. Unattractive people don’t do this. They shy away from talking to people first because they’re afraid of being ignored or scared they’ll lack points to keep the conversations interesting.
Saying positive words to your friends makes them happy and want to be around you. But doing the opposite makes them feel unappreciated and belittled by you. This could be one of the things that make people resist you and make you unattractive too. Nobody, man or woman, wants to be associated with a mean person.
Your words should encourage people and push them to succeed, but if it makes them feel bad with no motivation, it makes you an unattractive lady that nobody wants to associate with. Mean words scare people away from you, and they hurt when you say them.
When you’re unable to sleep, you tend to get eye bags or dark circles around your eyes. Those are not attractive in any way. They make the whole face look stressed out and make you look slow to other people. Lack of sleep could cause other illnesses you may not be aware of, thereby affecting your eyes, muscles, and other parts of your body.
You begin to lose more energy than you should. Lack of sleep also causes respiratory problems and mental health issues. When you don’t sleep for a particular number of hours, your brain doesn’t function how it should, making you look unattractive physically.
Every society, place, or occasion has rules or code of conduct guiding them. Businesses are part of this as well, and they also include dos and don’ts; this is etiquette. Your manners and composure matter in any environment you find yourself with people, whether it’s your home, friend’s house, or the general public.
When you ignore good manners or etiquette rules, you become unapproachable to people, from how you eat to how you talk or relate with people. Sometimes you’d find people trying to correct you or put what you did wrong in the right place to avoid embarrassment on your part. It means they’re trying not to make you look unattractive.
It’s funny how stress can make people look unattractive. It wrinkles the skin and makes the body look old and worn out earlier than time. Stress makes you feel and look exhausted quicker than usual. This is why rest is advised for a healthier body system, both internally and externally. Rest doesn’t mean you have to sleep; you could spend some time with your loved ones.
Stress could be a feeling of emotional or physical tension that could be caused by any mishap, making you feel nervous, frustrated, helpless, or angry. As a lady, if you don’t take some time off work or certain stressful activities to rest, it will make you look unattractive.
A smile adds to a lady’s beauty, and they make the muscles of the face relaxed, warm, and welcoming. Attractive people always smile, which makes their sense of humor flow naturally. If you find it difficult to smile or put on a fake smile to relate with people, it's one of the signs of being an unattractive woman.
People get discouraged from approaching women that don't smile no matter how pretty they may be. They feel threatened and uninvited or think she might be harsh in her responses. Your difficulty to wear a smile may sound minor, but it affects you as a lady and makes you unattractive without your awareness.
It’s a bit hard for someone who doesn’t feel attractive to contribute during group meetings. Because they feel shy, timid, insecure, or unworthy, they would instead remain quiet than sharing their suggestions. Other people barely notice women who do this because of their reserved nature; hence, they become unattractive.
Don’t get this wrong; it doesn’t mean they’re unattractive physically; it means they need to speak up in group gatherings to boost their level of attraction for the better. You may be one of those unattractive ladies if you find it hard to contribute or speak during group meetings or gatherings, even when you have good points.
Being controlling means you continuously blame people for mishaps, criticize them, have uncontrollable mood swings, and try to intimate them. The same thing applies to jealousy. You ignore boundaries and keep track of what others are doing in their daily lives.
Control and jealousy most times work hand in hand and sometimes isolate you from people. They could make you cause unnecessary drama or act foolishly for the wrong reasons. Control and jealousy make you feel cheated. If you allow these two despicable traits to consume you consistently without finding a solution to it, you may look unattractive because of them.
Reliable people are among the most valued people in all aspects of life. They have people’s trust to handle issues with or without other helpful sources. But it’s different from unreliable people. When you are unreliable, you’ll know it without being told by other people.
It would make you a bad spouse, business partner, or acquaintance because people can’t trust you to keep to time or make it to appointments. Unreliable people always have excuses for everything.
They reschedule or cancel appointments at the last minute and make promises they fail to keep for meaningless reasons. If you’re affected by this trait, it will affect your level of being an attractive woman.
Overconfident and proud people sometimes continuously fight inferiority. They display these traits because they don’t feel they’re good enough to be around people. When they want to prove a point, they do it forcefully, seek validation from other people they may trust, and still feel their points are not good enough.
If you’re an overconfident or proud person, you like to make jokes about other people but can’t accept jokes about yourself and are always unhappy with the way events go. These are flawed characters, and if you have them, they will make you feel unattractive to yourself and other people.
When you see a rock singer, you already know. The same thing goes for an air hostess or a banker. That's because their appearance speaks for them. They automatically get to be recognized by people. Their skin glows. Everything about them attracts you and makes people want to be close to them.
It applies to everyone who is unattractive. Their general appearance seems to be unappealing to people. They look like they are from the streets and have a problem that needs to be solved. If you appear in a way that looks off, a bad combination of your dress code, unkempt hair, tired eyes, cracked lips, and blemished skin is a sign of unattractiveness.
Like unattractive people disrespect others, they’re disrespected by people too. How do you know you’re unattractive? People won’t respect you the way they do to others. They would give you little or no audience to speak, and they’ll openly lie to you without caring about your feelings.
You won’t be part of the top priorities, and they’ll intentionally hurt you. On your part, lack of respect would unconsciously become a defense mechanism to you because of your insecurities. It’s not like you mean to do it, but you feel it’s a way to get noticed by people without stressing too much.
Attractive people intimidate others most times, consciously or unconsciously. They set the pace for other people to follow, and they do everything they can to keep it that way. When unattractive people feel intimidated, they can’t look at other people’s eyes while talking; instead, they look away in different directions.
They either have too many unnecessary questions or none to ask at all. If you feel shy to be noticed or too scared to do things when you’re with a particular group of people or women that make you feel like you’re not looking as good as you should, you may be unattractive.
Unattractive women are judgmental. They feel that other people that try to make themselves look pretty or attractive waste their time and resources to achieve it. Certain things should not be on the list of priorities; hence, they should be minor.
They could say something like ‘why would a lady spend so much money on a handbag?’ or, ‘I’m fine with the way my eyes are. I don’t need any visual aide.’ They make statements like this and many others. So they feel they are okay with looking unattractive, and they don’t want to see other women looking attractive. If this applies to you, you may be an uninviting person.
Some women find almost everybody they meet unattractive; men, girls, women, etc. It's not because their perspective is correct. Some of them have insecurities they're trying to deal with and feel happy when they see other people have flaws as they do.
They find faults in most things people wear and give negative comments about those people’s lives. Finding other people unattractive is one of the signs you see yourself doing when going through the same phase. It comes with a bit of jealousy that some other woman is looking more magnificent than you are; hence, no compliment for her beauty.
A woman who has all her plans, bills, schedule, and daily life activities in place is attractive. She would not have any problem when it comes to finding what she wants when the time is right. On the contrary, a disorganized lady is an unattractive one even when it comes to her innermost space.
Women who fall in this category and feel comfortable with it are often forgetful and care little about their affairs. If this is one of your weaknesses and it does not affect you, then it's one of the signs that you may be in the latter category of women.
Many signs come with being unattractive. You know you're unattractive when you’re unfriendly with people, care less about your appearance, involve yourself less in conversations, or get little attention from people, even when you have so much to offer them. Sometimes unattractiveness could bring insecurities or poor mental health.
So many things make people look unattractive. It could be their bad attitude when they relate with people, poor appearance, lack of confidence, harsh comments about people or situations, or the way they carry themselves. A few others could be bad dentition, poor personal hygiene, or being an awful conversationalist.
They'll initiate a lengthy conversation with you, ask logical questions that require answers, and be nice to you. When someone finds you attractive, they'll always be willing to help and would want to relate with you in an advanced way. Sometimes, they may share a part of their lives with you and ask for your suggestions.
You could start by taking the baby steps necessary to look more attractive, be confident in yourself and your body, appreciate your beauty and flaws, and be nice to people. Attractiveness takes effort and determination to achieve, but it makes you feel good when you do. Do it step by step.
Men are different, which means they all have preferences of what they want in a woman. Some of those things are; soft and clear skin, lovely eyes, pretty lips, facial beauty, and a beautiful body shape. Some other men love the nose, fingernails, dentition, long hair, and nicely carved brows.
If you feel you’re unattractive, you could read the signs I’ve mentioned, and if some of them fit your personality, you may be right about it. All the same, I hope you liked this article. If you did, don’t forget to drop a comment and share it with others.