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My Husband Is Always Angry And Negative (5 Things You Should Do Now)

Last updated on June 5, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Are you wondering how to deal with a husband who is already angry and negative?

Are you looking for tips on what to do when he gets like this?

Perhaps you’re searching for a solution to save your marriage? 

If so, this guide should help. It lists five ideas for what to do when your spouse is always behaving negatively.  

However, before I reveal these, it’s important to carefully read the following sentences. 

It’s a lot easier to address your partner’s negative behaviour when you understand what is causing it.

The problem is: it’s not always possible to discover this by talking to him. 

In many cases, this will spark more anger, denial and conflict.  

With this in mind, let me tell you about this powerful yet discreet online tracker.

It needs just a handful of your husband’s details to get started. Then, this tool is able to generate a detailed log of his recent communications. 

You’ll be able to find out:

  • who he has been texting and calling;  
  • what smartphone apps he has been using;
  • what websites he has signed up to;
  • and much more... 

In many cases, this intelligent tool will reveal some secrets that could explain his negative behaviour, especially if this has only come about recently.  

With this information to hand, you’ll be in a much better position to address your husband’s behaviour and solve the problem.

Read our guide below for ideas on how you can do this.

What Do You Do When Your Spouse Is Always Negative?

Dealing with constant negativity can have a material impact on your mood and overall mental health. Plus it can be such an emotional rollercoaster being married to someone who is consistently down and so pessimistic about any plans or future intentions.

If you ever ask yourself why does my husband get angry over small things then you are not alone. Here we look at some proactive ways that you can deal with an angry husband who is always adverse to anything you suggest.

Walk Away And Have A Time Out

So that you do not become an angry wife, it can be a really good idea to walk away for an hour or two from an angry husband who is perpetually gloomy when you talk to him. The reason being is that you can easily start to feel like him just by being near him all the time. A husband who is forever pointing out all the bad in everything you do can make you feel down in the dumps and like you are a bad person.

This is not the case and more often than not an angry husband is angry simply because of their emotional state. So to help your mood so that you do not feel the force of his anger, walk away from him from time to time and give yourself a moment, an afternoon or a day to get your mood back on track.

Hopefully by your change of attitude when you return, you can rub off on him and he in turn will start to feel more optimistic about the future.

Remember You Are A Positive Person

One of the reasons walking away to have a time out from your angry husband is such a good tack, is that you may hopefully remember that you are a positive person who is confident about the future and your abilities. When you are constantly around a person, especially the one that you love, that is pointing out everything you do wrong, it can be hard to stay smiling.

However, know that you are not a bad person and use your time out to concentrate on this. Sometimes it sounds like all you do is wrong - but this is only ever going to the be the case if you listen to your angry husbands all the time. The key is to remember also that you are more than just a wife, you are your own person with their own wants and needs.

Concentrate On The Happy Things In Your Life

Concentrate On The Happy Things In Your Life

In addition to using your time out to get back to being a more positive person, remember to concentrate on the happy things in your life too. This can perhaps mean thinking about how fantastic your kids or family are and how your career is going well. Perhaps you have a fitness goal that you are about to achieve or a pet that brings you constant joy. You may also be very healthy and strong, which is another important issue to remember when your angry husband can bring you down with his bad energy.

By concentrating on the happy things in your life and thinking good thoughts, it is possible to start to love yourself, your life and your husband again. Know that you can be happy even if he seems so against you and your relationship at times. He will want things to be better too, even though his negative way can make it feel like he doesn't want you to be happy again.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Talk To Him

When dealing with anger, it can be hard to respond to it with anything other than anger as it can be so infuriating and hurtful. However, one of the best ways to help get over a difficult patch with a negative husband is to talk to him. Hopefully by doing so, it will shed light on why he's being so hard on you and showing such high levels of anger to you at all times.

He may admit to you what he is finding difficult and you may be able to find a way to help him so that his mental health does not deteriorate any more. You may find out why he constantly feels anger and that he will want to feel happy again. Without talking to him, you will never understand what he's going through that is making him act the way he does.

Ask The Professionals

After talking with your husband and trying to find some understanding into his behaviour, you may find that the situation will only really get better and change for the better if you use counseling services. This can be far more helpful, far more quickly as trained healthcare professionals will be able to give you more insight into why exactly your husband has started to feel such levels of anger and give you a way to work through it.

They will give you unbiased advice and support you through this difficult time so that you husband may not be always angry with you and so you can be a happy couple or a happy family again.

How Do You Live With A Negative Husband?

Taking these actions so that you can deal with the anger that you are constantly faced with is great, but they can take time to make a difference in your relationship and your emotional stability. As such, what can you do in the interim so that you live with your husband and feel happy even when he is so down?

Live In The Moment

A good method of dealing with a lot of anger is to try to live in the moment and realise that some of the issues that are making your husband so angry are probably nothing to do with you. They are perhaps personality and character based on his part and as such there is not much you can do immediately to stop his anger.

As a result, it can be good for your own mental health just to live in the moment. As his behavior may not change immediately, it is better for you to concentrate on the good in the here and now, which will hopefully make you feel brighter about your future anyway. As a result of this, you will hopefully keep your family happier and also learn to love other parts of your life as well as your husband.

Control Your Behavior

As a lot of the issues in your marriage may simply be stemming from your husband's anger, a good way to live with such behavior is to control your actions and reactions. It can be hard when faced with an angry husband, but if you do not rise to his jibes or his pessimistic comments, you will start to feel a great deal more in charge and control of the situation.

This can be a particularly useful course of action to take if you have children that you want to know are protected from any anger in your relationship that you have with your husband. If you can control your behavior and try to separate your reactions from your husband's, you will probably be happier as a result.

Go Outside And Exercise

Go Outside And Exercise

A good way to take stock of a situation, particularly when your sadness is stemming from another person's anger that seems to be internally directed at you, is to get those endorphins rushing through your body from exercise. This is further helped if you go outside and exercise as being outside has a proven positive impact on your mood and feelings.

Additionally, it's giving you time to yourself and in a beneficial way. Those that exercise more tend to be happier people as your body becomes stronger and fitter. Sport and exercise have long been a method to work out your own anger which is great news for while your husband works out his.

Have Other Interests

In addition to exercise, it can be a great idea to have other interests and hobbies that can help compartmentalise your husband's anger in your life. If you have somewhere like a hobby that you can escape to whilst your partner's mood is particularly low and gloomy, it gives you a bit of a break from thinking about it all the time. If you have too much time to think about things, you can often make them bigger in your head then they often are.

Plus, having other interests separate to your husband's can be very healthy for a relationship - whether you husband suffers from anger a lot or not.

How Do I Deal With An Irritable Husband?

So how can you deal over the long term with an irritable husband if their anger subsides but they just seem a bit snarky with you from time to time. Here we look at the best and most proactive ways to cope with a man you know you love, but who seem hellbent on finding fault with so much of what you do.

Don't Rise To His Irritability

Whilst not full blown anger, irritability can be hard to deal with on a daily basis, but it's essential not to bite back. Doing so can cause further arguments and cause further hurt feelings. Know that just because someone is making you feel like what you are doing is wrong, due to their irritable and nasty actions, it does not necessarily mean that what you are doing is at fault.

Stay Calm

This is perhaps one of the hardest and most difficult things to do when dealing with someone who is either showing anger or just being plain irritable, but if you can, stay as calm as you can for as long as you can. By all means point out that your partner is simply being irritable or perhaps just being plain rude, but do it as calmly as possible and the situation will not get worse.

Communicate Your Hurt

Communicate Your Hurt

Along the same lines of staying calm, is the necessity to communicate with your husband that his behavior is upsetting you. Sometimes, when people suffer with anger or negativity, they do not necessarily realise that this is clearly coming across to you and others. This causes hurt which for the most part a husband will not want.

As such, it's invariably best to convey how their actions and mood are affecting you.

How To Deal With An Angry And Negative Husband - The Bottom Line

There is no doubt about it, dealing with an angry husband who's nasty and difficult to be around a lot of the time is hard. In fact, some say quite rightly that it's akin to emotional abuse which can rightfully cause problems and issues that are sometimes impossible to readdress with a positive outcome. That is why it is key to face issues like this in a marriage head on as soon as possible.

Have you had to deal with an angry and native husband in the past? How have you coped with such a situation? Let us know by leaving your story in the comments below or share to anyone that you think would find this article helpful and useful.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

7 comments on “My Husband Is Always Angry And Negative (5 Things You Should Do Now)”

  1. This article is asking the woman to make all the changes to tiptoe around an angry husband or remove herself from the situation. We are valuable and deserve to live in a happy home. Wouldn’t want to walk on eggshells. These type of men need to grow up and change or be a man about it and don’t commit to a relationship. I’d say the same about this type of woman, too.

    1. OMG Mary. You are reading my mind! Not only does this response put nearly all of the responsibility on the wife's part, but doesn't address what YEARS of this can do to a person. How much patience can any one person have? Or better yet, how does telling the positive spouse to be calm, leave, find other hobbies, etc. correct the other person's behavior? It's bad enough if you have to deal with a person like this everyday, but now the postive person is the one responsible for making things better? I agree with you. We deserve to be happy. When is it time for the negative person to take responsibility for their actions?

    2. Only us women trying to change, men need to change too. Women always have be the one walking on eggshells because you don't know if it's a bad day or a good day. If to make a conversation or not. I am very stressed over my situation.

  2. The article focuses on what a woman can do. Forcing a man to change isn't an option, unless you know a way to do that? Is you consistently leave the room when a man picks a fight, and leave the house for about 4 hours when he follows you into as nother room to fight, he may get the picture after a few weeks. But he may still do it every chance he gets.

  3. Couldn’t agree more.
    I have tried researching this subject on the net and I’m dismayed by the complete lack of responsibility that men are expected to take for their behaviour. We as women are responsible for ourselves -and how we raise our boys.
    I know in my house myself and my younger sister were expected to look after ourselves and do our own washing from age 14. We paid for our own sanitary products out of our meagre pocket money and babysitting earnings.
    On the other hand our younger brother had none of those expectations.
    He’s dead now. At 49.

    He drank himself to death .

    All bosses were wankers.
    He was worth so much more than what he was paid.
    He was “incredibly smart “.
    He could shout louder than the person he was talking to.

  4. I agree. It’s not fair for wives to put up with angry men. I live it everyday. Temper tantrums, constant criticism, unrealistic expectations, no empathy, no communication, no romance to speak of. We dated for years and he was awesome. The minute we married, he changed. I have tried every approach I can think of and nothing seems to work. He says, “I am who I am. I can’t change”. Which is total crap because he wasn’t like that for years at first. I think the article isn’t really saying we should put up with it, but rather offering up actions you yourself can take since we can’t control the actions of others. Doesn’t make their actions right, just really the only option if you plan on staying with your partner. Unfortunately, I’m thinking divorce is the only way out, which breaks my heart. It’s sad because we so desperately want to be good wives and loved, but some people just are incapable.

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