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How To Stop Being Insecure In A Relationship

Last updated on June 18, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Do you feel like your insecurity is pushing your man away? Are you petrified of losing him? Insecurity can be a vicious cycle which I want to help you break free of so you can be the best girlfriend, fiancé or wife.

Insecurity can add a lot of pressure on the relationship and can actually destroy it. If you find yourself trapped in this cycle and are reading this then you have by now realized that you need to change. That is the first step so well done to you. The next step is understanding it and stopping it which is what I’m going to help you with.​

​Where Does Insecurity Come From?

The majority of women who suffer from insecurity do so because they have been hurt in the past. When we fall, our skin will scar and so we also scar from emotional pain. The only difference is that you can’t see these emotional scars. Emotional scars can come in the form of insecurity to constantly remind you of how you have been hurt in the past.

The Effects Of Insecurity​

Insecurity can have a number of different effects on you and your relationship including:

  1. You feel like you’ll never find anyone
  2. You feel like your man doesn’t really care about you
  3. You believe that he is too good for you
  4. You strive to keep him interested in you
  5. You feel that you may be better off on your own
  6. You believe that he will reject you once he gets to know you
  7. You want to always be in control
  8. If your man gets upset you believe it is your fault​

How To Stop Being Insecure In A Relationship

Now that I have covered where insecurity comes from and how it can affect you and your relationship, it is time to work on stop being insecure. This isn’t going to happen overnight and could even take a number of months but it will all be well worth it. You will feel so much more confident in yourself and can enjoy your relationship a lot more.

Know The Difference Between Imagination And Reality​

Know The Difference Between Imagination And Reality​

If you’re insecure then it can be so easy to be swept up in your imagination. Your man could be on his phone looking at the football forums but you start making up a story in your own mind about him texting other women which will only feed your anxiety. You need to starve your anxiety by sticking with reality and not coming up with your theories and conclusions.

Stop Having To Know Everything​

Stop Having To Know Everything​

Women who are insecure constantly feel they need to know everything and be certain of everything such as whether their men love them. Your man shouldn’t have to tell you constantly that he loves you because you should already know. Insecure people however can sometimes even doubt whether they are loved even when he tells you so. To stop being insecure, you need to stop looking for these certainties and simply trust in him that he means what he says.

Enjoy Time Without Him​

Enjoy Time Without Him​

One of the reasons why you are insecure is because you lack confidence and independency. A great remedy for this is to go and enjoy some time on your own. You could go out with your girlfriends once a month, spend an hour at the gym every day or hit the shops for some retail therapy. Enjoying time on your own without panicking what your man is doing is the best therapy to stop feeling insecure.

Don’t Try And Read His Mind​

Don’t Try And Read His Mind​

Nobody can read minds (unless you know something I don’t) and so there is no point in trying to understand what is going through his mind because you will never know for sure. If your man is quiet then don’t start wondering what he is thinking about because more than likely he is just relaxing and not thinking of anything particularly important. I would certainly recommend not asking him what he is thinking about because it shows that you are insecure and always in need of certainty.

Don’t Compare Him To Past Relationships​

Don’t Compare Him To Past Relationships​ (2)

If you have been hurt in the past then it can leave a deep emotional scar which can be hard to get over but you must try to avoid damaging your current relationship. If you treat your man like he will inevitably cheat by going through his phone and stopping him from going out then you are punishing him for what your past boyfriend/husband did and that isn’t fair. You must open yourself up and give him your trust to give the relationship a chance to work.

Learn How To Reassure Yourself​

Learn How To Reassure Yourself​

One of the best things you can do is to learn how to reassure yourself instead of constantly seeking reassurance from your man when it isn’t necessary. Being insecure can mean that you need certainty and reassurance that he cares about you but instead of continuing to ask him, take a minute to think about it. Thinking things through first will stop putting pressure on him and ease the stress of the relationship.

Focus More On The Positives​

Focus More On The Positives​

Being insecure, it can be so easy to forget about the positives and only ever think about the negatives and what might be. This isn’t a good frame of mind to enter into a relationship. You should be getting to know each other and having fun together. You shouldn’t be fretting over what might be or what he is constantly doing and thinking about.

​Stop Thinking It Is All About You

Stop Thinking It Is All About You

You might not realize it but being insecure can mean that everything tends to be centered around you. If your man doesn’t feel like going out tonight then don’t start wondering whether it is because of you, it could be because he has had a bad day at work but you won’t know because you are too busy being upset. It is important to remember that he has feelings too and that you must show him that you care too.

How to Finally Fix Your Relationship

Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.

A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!

The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…

That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.

In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.

I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.

After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.

I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.

Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.

Click here to fix your relationship too!

I can’t thank them enough.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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