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How To Tell If Your Husband Is Hiding Something (23 Surefire Ways)

Last updated on June 17, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

If you want to know how to tell if your husband is hiding something, you can watch for one of the warning signs mentioned in this article. Each warning sign is a sign he may be up to something! 

It’s important that you discover the truth so that you are aware of the bad thing he’s doing and can figure out the best way to handle it.

You may notice your husband is emotionally distant or shows closed body language when you try to have an honest conversation about something with him. Closed body language occurs when someone closes their arms or legs. Watch for signs like this to see if your spouse is hiding something or doing something wrong behind your back. 

Sometimes, you have to trust your gut feeling on this subject. If he is overly nice, that could be a sign that he is feeling guilt over something he’s done. If you catch him in lies and he can’t be honest about simple things, he may be hiding things. Let’s look at some more signs that your spouse is hiding things from you, so you will know which sign to look for. 

Top Signs That Your Husband Is Hiding Something

1. He won’t let you see his cell phone

If your partner refuses to let you see his phone, he may be trying to hide a conversation that he doesn’t want you to know about - a conversation with someone of the opposite sex. This may be making him feel much guilt over what he’s doing, so hiding the cell phone from you or not allowing you to see it is one sign he’s hiding something!

I once had a boyfriend who would not allow me to be his friend on Facebook or see his phone! I should have known the truth based on that information; he was cheating on me. How can you know if someone is telling the truth, though? How do you know you can trust them? I saw that as a very bad sign, but I chose to ignore the signs of cheating.

Later, I found out he had a secret girlfriend and didn’t want me to see his Facebook page because I would probably say something about us being in a relationship, something he didn’t want to make public knowledge about because he was seeing other women. If you see fishy behavior like this, something is wrong, and you should trust this gut feeling. 

2. He takes his phone with him to the bathroom

My partner does like to take his phone to the bathroom with him, even though he is not trying to hide anything, but if you see your spouse doing this and he also won’t let you see his phone, he may be trying to hide a relationship with someone on his phone. This is just one of those signs you’ll have to judge for yourself based on his actions.

3. He is always looking at his cell phone

Granted, we are all a little guilty of being stuck to our phones with technology now more prominent than ever before. However, if you can’t get your husband to talk to you because he is so distracted by his phone, he may be trying to hide something from you. Try to talk to him about what you think is wrong in your relationship. 

If he’s willing to talk things over, there is hope for your relationship. It’s true that many guys don’t like discussing relationship problems because they think there is nothing wrong with the relationship the way it is. If he wants to work on your problems, that is great! It means he cares about your feelings and wants to make things better.

4. He seems to always avoid eye contact

This can just be the sign of a nervous, insecure person, but it can also mean the person is telling lies. When people don’t make eye contact, it’s often an indication of guilt. If you are unsure if your spouse is telling you lies or not, you should try watching his eyes to see what they do. He may be trying to pull the wool over on you!

5. He acts nervous all the time

It’s never a good sign when a person acts nervously around their partner. A nervous person indicates they are nervous by fidgeting or laughing at everything you say. Of course, these aren’t the only signs that a person is nervous, but it does mean they are a little uncomfortable about something. This could mean he is trying to hide something.

6. He suddenly stops talking about things

You are in the middle of an argument, and he just changes the subject all of a sudden. You may have questioned him about something that he is trying to hide from you, so he is changing the subject to move on and not have to lie to you about one more thing.

7. His stories do not make sense

his stories do not make sense

Do you ever feel like his explanations for things do not really add up? He says one thing, and at the time, it makes sense, but later, when you really think about it, it just doesn't add up! Too often this is true when men are hiding things; their stories don’t make sense and they make us wonder if we are the ones who are crazy!

8. He changes the subject often

You bring up his obsession with going to the gym or the secretive nature of his cell phone. What does he do? He just changes the subject rather than talk the problem over. That’s not good!

9. He has lame excuses for his behavior

It’s kind of like the old “My dog ate my homework” excuse when a guy says that he did something for some lame reason. Maybe he just doesn’t make sense or just does not have good reasons for anything. These are signs that your relationship is in jeopardy. Make sure you call him out on his excuses to try to work through them!

10. He spends more time away than he does at home

If your husband spends a lot of time at the gym or working late, something he perhaps did not do when you were in the beginning stages of your relationship, he may be having an affair or hiding something else from you. If you want to discover what is going on, I would suggest talking to him about your suspicions before stalking him.

11. He whispers on his phone

This is a great way to tell if something is up with your man! Unless you think he’s planning a surprise birthday party for you, he really has no reason to be whispering on his phone. He should be open and honest with you about everything (Except maybe the surprises like a party). The key to a healthy relationship is good communication!

12. He is very anxious all the time

If your partner likes to fidget and can’t sit still, he may be keeping something from you. If you’ve been together for a long period of time, there is really no reason for him to feel uneasy around you, so clearly, he has something on his mind. If you are unsure what’s going on, I would recommend opening up a dialogue about the subject. 

13. He takes his phone conversations to the other room

As mentioned, unless he is keeping a surprise party a secret, he really has no need for a lot of privacy. Would you not agree with that? I know when my ex wanted privacy, I found out he was either talking to other girls or looking at pornography behind my back. Of course, these things hurt my feelings and make me insecure about myself.

However, the real sticking point that hurt was that he was doing things behind my back. I felt that he should be forthright with me about everything. There was really no need to do things behind my back, or at least that is what I believed at the time. Maybe he had his reasons for doing these things, but I didn’t like it one bit. Would you?

14. He sleeps on the couch

he sleeps on the couch

Often, when men are keeping things from their women, they sleep on the couch. They do this in an effort to avoid intimacy and not get closer to us than they have to be. For example, maybe your guy is cheating on you and doesn’t want to feel guilty by sleeping next to you at night. Instead, he would rather pretend to fall asleep on the couch.

15. He doesn’t want to have sex anymore

If he is getting it somewhere else, he may not need it from you anymore. That, of course, depends on the circumstances and the man. He may just have low testosterone or not be interested in sex because of a medical condition. If you are certain he isn’t hiding something from you, you ought to talk to him about it. You have needs, too! 

16. You catch him in lies

I have actually directly caught my exes in lies, and do you know what they do about it? They try to dig themselves a deeper hole. They tend to tell even more ridiculous lies to get out of whatever they were initially lying about. It is like they are incapable of saying, “I’m sorry! That was incorrect on my part.” They decide not to tell the truth, instead.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Be truthful with your spouse if you catch him in a lie. Tell him you know what is going on and would like to hear it from his mouth. Ask him for respect and honesty. There is no reason for him to keep things from you. Assure him that you will not cause a big fight over the subject, that you just want to hear the actual truth from him.

17. He sneaks off when you are asleep

Why would a guy need to sneak off in the middle of the night unless he was hiding something from you? Unfortunately, this happens all too often, so watch out for this!

18. He seems to enjoy his time away from you

Since you want him to love spending time with you in your relationship, if he is not spending time with you and doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as spending time away from you, this isn’t a good thing. You may need to find out what is making him so happy when he’s away from you and adjust what you do together to make him happy.

19. He doesn’t care about your day

If he shows no interest in your day, there is a good chance that he’s keeping things from you. He should want to know what you did, who you talked to, and what is coming up in your future. He should show some kind of interest in your life. 

20. He quit asking you questions

Does your husband still ask you questions to learn more about who you are? Does he seem interested in what you are all about - your hobbies, passions, and activities? If not, he may have lost interest, and you need to find out why. 

21. He is defensive about everything

he is defensive about everything

When people are defensive, there is usually a reason for this. If he attacks you over being late for dinner or something, he could be projecting. That means that really he feels bad about something he is doing behind your back. However, he could just like to do things on time, so make sure you determine his true intent before fighting.

22. He doesn’t seem to want to talk to you anymore

If he has nothing to say to you during the day, what is the point of your relationship? If one of you has lost interest in the other, there may not be a future in store for you. Some guys are shy or not talkative, so you should ask open-ended questions to get the ball rolling, and conversations started. Find out what’s going on in his world. 

If you ask open-ended questions and get one-worded answers, that may mean that he has lost interest in you or has someone else on the side. There is always hope in a marriage, though. It’s important that you don’t jump to conclusions over just one sign that he may be cheating. Instead, put all the pieces together like a puzzle.

If you need to, the two of you should speak to a professional mental health therapist. A trained counselor or therapist can help you communicate more clearly and may have the tools, resources, and book recommendations that the two of you need to make your marriage work. What do you have to lose in trying this suggestion?

23. He quit taking you out for date night

If he no longer wishes to take you out for date night or out on the town for a special occasion, there may be something going on. Make sure you speak to your spouse about your doubts to best determine where his head is at. See if the two of you are still on the same page or if you need professional help!

FAQs

Why do I feel like my partner is hiding something?

You may be in freak-out mode if you are hiding something from your partner. If your partner is hiding something, they may make you feel uneasy, a big red flag that something is going on in secret. Trust yourself when you feel bad because this may call for close attention. 

How do you tell if your husband is hiding things from you?

Watch for the red flags of him hiding things. He may provide you with too many details or insignificant details if he has a guilty conscience, is overly protective of his cell phone, or avoids eye contact. These are common signs your husband is keeping secrets!

What are the signs of a guilty husband?

Closed body language can mean your partner is hiding something. Also, if he is overly protective of his cell phone, he could be hiding something from you. Don’t immediately assume he is cheating, though. In a healthy relationship, the couple talks about any red flag that comes up.

What is my husband hiding on his phone?

If your husband is hiding something on his cell phone, he may be avoiding an uncomfortable situation where you find out he’s been keeping secrets. Maybe he is having an affair or receiving text messages from another woman. One sneaky way to check this is to view it while he’s showering.

Why won’t my husband let me see his phone?

Your husband may be feeling guilty about something he’s doing on his phone. He may feel bad about looking at pornography or talking to another woman. If he can’t meet a person’s eyes when talking, you know this is a red flag, and he may be lying about something.

To Sum Things Up

Do you think your husband is trying to hide something from you? Are you having a hard time getting him to open up about this? He may be feeling guilty about what he’s hiding. Watch for the red flags that he is being emotionally distant in your relationship. Please share!

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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