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Is He Hiding His Feelings or Not Interested?

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you fawning over a man who is showing no affection in return? 

Perhaps you’re dating a fantastic guy, but have no idea whether he’s planning to commit to you? 

And maybe this is messing with your head to the point that you can’t concentrate on anything else??

If so, you’re in the right place because I have created a comprehensive list of telltale signs that your love interest really does like you.

However, before we get into this list, I have an important personal story to share with you. 

I want to share it because I used to waste far too much time wondering whether a man was really into me. 

There were voices in my head warning me that these guys were players, yet I still chose to believe they were hiding their true feelings of affection. 

This only ever led to frustration, headaches and broken hearts. 

Yet, I rarely have to deal with this dilemma any more.  

Because I discovered the key aspect of male psychology which can give you a huge advantage in the dating game.

This psychological tick - which seems to be held by the entire male species - can be the difference between a man being kind-of attracted to you and OBSESSING over you. 

It’s commonly known as the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

However, the crazy thing is that so few women know about this aspect of the male mind. 

Once I truly understood how it worked, I rarely had to wonder whether a man truly liked me, because he’d always make it so obvious (you can discover how I turned my dating fortunes around by reading my personal story here).

The best thing is: it’s so easy to understand. Once you learn about this, it’s like flicking a switch that turns dating into ‘easy mode’.

So, do yourself a huge favor and read about my journey learning about the Hero’s Instinct.

Of course, there’s every chance that your crush is already secretly obsessing over you. My guide below reveals the signs he’ll show if he is interested... 

Signs That He’s Hiding His Feelings

Many men find it difficult to show their feelings to a girl they like, not only can it make them feel vulnerable, but they might be afraid that their feelings aren’t reciprocated and they’ll end up getting hurt, denting their ego.

However, when you’re dating a man who finds it difficult to show his feelings - or purposefully hides them - it can often lead to you feeling insecure, confused and vulnerable, trying to work out whether he’s interested in you, or if he’s just playing games.

If he shows any of the following signs, then you can rest assured that he’s interested in you and wants to continue to date you, but he might just find it a little more difficult to show it than other men you’ve been out with. 

He Remembers the Little Things

Whether you mentioned a film that you wanted to go and see, or a new restaurant that you wanted to try out and he offers to take you there a few weeks later, showing that he’s listening to - and remembering - the things you say, then he’s certainly interested in dating you.

When a man isn’t interested in a woman, he won’t remember or act on anything she says. However, if the guy you’re dating remembers even the most off-the-cuff comments you make and acts on them a few weeks later, then this is a clear cut sign that he’s very keen on you and constantly thinks about ways to impress you and make you happy.

Even if he isn’t the most affectionate man, remembering the little things you say is a subtle, but clear sign that he’s interested in you and actually goes a lot deeper than any words or physical signs of affection could.

He’s Interested in Your Life

If he texts you in the morning to tell you to have a good day, or calls you at night to find out how your day was, then you can rest assured that he’s interested in you and is just hiding his feelings.

When a man is interested in you, he’ll take a genuine interest in your life and want to know what you’ve been up to, as well as checking that you’re okay - just as you would do for him.

Even if he finds it difficult to show his feelings to you, these little signs of affection should indicate to you that he’s one hundred percent invested in you, so you should make sure to take them on board when you’re feeling insecure about your relationship and remember that no man would invest their time in you if they weren’t interested.

He Makes Time for You

A man who’s not interested in a woman  will make up any excuse under the sun in order to blow her off or avoid making plans. However, if the guy you’re interested in makes time for you, plans fun dates and always wants to be around you, then it’s clear that he’s interested in you and wants to keep dating you - even if he does have a hard time showing it.

But it’s not just making time to see you that counts - even if the two of you aren’t able to see each other one week, if he makes the time to check in by calling or texting you, then you can rest assured that he's very keen on you.

However, as much as you might want to see him every waking hour - especially at the start of a new relationship - it’s important not to blow off your friends or cancel plans in order to see him, otherwise you won’t have anybody to fall back on if your relationship doesn’t go to plan.

He Wants to Spend Quality Time With You

A man who isn’t interested in you will constantly be on his phone when he’s with you, avoid spending lots of time with you and only want to see you in order to sleep with you, avoiding getting too emotionally attached to you.

However, a  man who’s genuinely interested in you will go out of his way to spend quality time with you, such as going on cute dates, being completely present when he’s with you and spending long periods of time with you, making it clear how much you mean to him.

It’s important to distinguish the difference between a man who wants to spend time with you and a man who wants to spend quality time with you in order to establish whether or not he’s genuinely interested in you.

He Gets Jealous When You’re Around Other Men

When a man is genuinely interested in you and just hiding his feelings, you’ll notice him become jealous when you’re around other men. Whether you’re on a night out together and another man comes to talk to you at the bar, or you casually drop another man’s name into conversation and you notice his whole body language change,  you’ll know he’s got feelings for you.

However, once he starts to notice that other men are interested in you and that he might lose you if he doesn’t up his game, then he might start forcing himself to show his feelings for you to avoid losing you for good.

But this doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to talk to - or date - other men if he’s the one you want, as this might send him mixed signals and actually cause him to run the other way! Instead, just keep doing what you’re doing - making an effort with your appearance, going out with your friends and letting him know that you’re his if he wants you - but only if he’s quick!

On the contrary, if he’s not interested in you, he won’t mind you talking to other men and won’t even flinch if he sees another man’s name pop up on your phone - just as he’d expect you to keep your cool if you saw another girls’ name on his.

Additionally, he might even ask you about these other men in your life, asking you intimate details about your relationship to really reiterate the fact that the two of you are just keeping it casual.

Signs That He’s Just Not That Into You

If you’ve been seeing a guy who leaves you feeling confused about whether or not he likes you and you’re sure it’s not because he’s hiding his feelings, then it might be because he’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you and just sees you as an option, as opposed to a priority.

If you think he might not be interested in you, then the following signs and signals might shed some light on the way he’s been acting and make it clear to you that he’s not interested in you as you had hoped he would be.

When a man is only interested in keeping things casual or just treating you as an option, you should try and break off the relationship as soon as possible if that’s not what you’re looking for, otherwise you risk developing feelings for someone who’ll never reciprocate your feelings.

He Makes it Clear That he’s Single

When a man wants to make it clear that he’s single, he’ll go out of his way to make sure that you know, not only to avoid any chance of leading you on, but so that he has free rein to go and talk to as many women as he likes.

Whether he talks about other women around you, discusses his nights out with the lads (including how many girls’ numbers he got) and goes out of his way to tell you how much he loves being single - then he’s trying to make it clear that he’s not interested in a relationship with you.

As hard as it might be to hear about how many other girls the man you’re interested in is dating, it’s a sign that you should get out before you’re in too deep and find someone who’s looking for the same thing as you.

However, if he starts talking about another girl - but goes out of his way to make it clear that she’s just a friend, then he might actually be interested after all.  Just because a man talks about another woman, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a threat to you or that he’s not interested in you and you alone.

So next time he talks about a woman around you, make sure you listen carefully to the way he talks about her - is he trying to make it clear she’s just a friend, or is he trying to make you realise that that’s all you are to him?

He Only Sees You When it’s Convenient for Him

If the guy you’re dating isn’t really interested in you, he’ll make it clear by only making plans with you when it’s convenient for him.

Whether he has a free tuesday night to fill after work, or the boys have cancelled on him at the weekend - if the guy you like is treating you like a gap-filler for when he’s got nothing better to do, then it might be time to cut all ties and move on.

Equally, it’s common for men like this to try and get you to change your plans around to fit in with him, for example, if he’s got a free evening, but you’re going out with your friends, he might try to get you to rearrange your plans for another night - usually one where he’s busy with the lads.

As difficult as it might be to get wrapped up in his games, it’s important not to choose him over your friends and always stick to the activities you’d already planned - after all, he wouldn’t change his plans for you!

If he’s treating you like an option rather than a priority, it’s usually because he’s not really interested in you, so it might be time to end the relationship and find someone who is!

He Doesn’t Text or Call You

If you go on a really good date and then hear absolutely nothing from him until he decides he wants to see you again, then it’s clear that he’s not really bothered about seeing you.

When a man is interested in you, he’ll go out of his way to check in on you, texting you or calling you in between dates in order to keep you interested and find out what’s going on in your life.

However, when a guy doesn’t call or text you, not only does it mean that he’s probably not thinking about you when he’s not with you, but he also doesn’t really care about what’s been going on in your life since he last saw you.

You know yourself that if you’re interested in a man, all you want to do is text him and call him to find out what he’s been up to and have a catch up. And when you’re not interested in someone who’s pursuing you, texting them back is the last thing on your mind. So if the guy you like goes AWOL for days on end, you’ll know he’s not really the one for you.

So if the guy you’ve been dating won’t text, call or even like your Instagram pictures, then it might be time to get back on a dating app to find a man who will!

He Won’t Spend the Night

One sure way of making it clear that he’s not interested in a relationship with you is by avoiding inviting you to stay at his house, or never staying over at yours.

Spending the night at each other’s houses is a more serious step in any relationship, so a man who’s not interested in you will try to avoid spending the night at all costs. You’ll soon notice this pattern of behaviour, as he’ll come and spend a few hours with you in the evening, before quickly hurrying off home to avoid staying over at yours.

It can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful when the guy you like won’t stay the night, however, it’s a clear sign that he’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you and that you should look for someone who’ll put the time and effort into you - like you deserve.

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His Friends Don’t Know About You

Any man who’s interested in a woman is sure to tell his friends about you, so if the guy you’re dating hasn’t told his friends - or anyone - about you, then it’s a clear sign he’s just not that interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

Whether it’s because he’s emotionally unavailable and just wants a casual relationship, has been hurt in the past, or is just happy to play the field and date as many girls as he can - if your relationship isn’t moving forward and he’s showing no signs of introducing you to his friends, then it might be time to stop dating him and find a man who’d be proud to show you off to his nearest and dearest.

So whether he’s hiding his feelings or simply not interested, a man who’s causing any confusion and making you wonder whether or not he likes you might not be worth your time. After all, a man who’s truly worth your time will put as much effort in with you as you do with him, clearly showing you his level of interest.

FAQs

How Do You Know If He's Not Interested?

When a man wants to make sure that you're not close to each other, he ensures that there's the distance between you two. Besides keeping his distance, he will prefer spending time with other girls instead of making physical contact with you. He might even decide not to show any interest in anything you do.

What To Do If He's Not Giving You Attention?

Catch your man's attention when you feel him slipping away. There are simple, straightforward steps that can help you gain his attention again in a heartbeat. The first is to keep busy with yourself and pay attention to your needs. Focus on your friends, family, work, career, and your kids. Take up new activities whenever you can regardless of him, and have the time of your life. He's bound to notice this and feel even more attracted to you.

How Do You Tell If A Guy Is Denying His Feelings For You?

When a guy is denying his feelings for you, but you know these feelings are still in existence, look out for these signs;

- His body language, which might show how much he’s into you.
- He might steal glimpses of you when you’re not aware, or act protective towards you.
- Every man you date is wrong for you, and he’s always visibly jealous of your crushes.

What Are The Signs A Guy Is Losing Interest In You?

When a guy is losing interest in you, he becomes vague and stops going on dates or making plans with you. He might stop all romantic advances and suddenly dodge all questions about the future you will decide to throw at him.

How Do I Get Him Interested Again?

Have you lost interest in someone you once loved? Do you still have hope for a wonderful eve-after? Get your man alone and be proactive in spending time with him. Take him off from the pedestal you placed him on and create a vibrant life outside of him. Be open to seeing other people, and simply work on improving yourself for you and no one else.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

5 comments on “Is He Hiding His Feelings or Not Interested?”

  1. Do I really have to settle for someone I have ZERO feelings for just because I don’t feel like anyone will ever like me back? Lol

  2. NO! DEFINITELY NOT! The time WILL come when you find a true love, one that loves you that you love back. However, if you don't like that person who likes, you, please, to avoid inconvenience in the future, TELL THEM. ASAP. that. you. do. NOT. like them. do this politely as well, and if they are a friend and you wish to stay friends, state that in your "rejection" speech. but, while you should definitely make your point clear, please. SHORT AND SWEET.

    Also, a just for fun story, I am in sixth grade and dating already. I found my guy back in October, and now, we're dating(BF and GF)! We've never gone anywhere sexually drawn, never kissed, but we have, held hands, before, hugged once or twice, etc. All the tiny things. However, I have, once or twice, had to turn down some guys who felt a little strongly for me on the way to my BF.

  3. I’m in this friends with benefits situation. And I have been for a year. We both were infatuated with each other in the beginning. But then he got more and more distant. Then last week out of nowhere he tells me how he’s lost feelings for me . And when I ask him when, he says he doesn’t remember . I’m in such pain right now . Because I have him my virginity , and I spent so much time, energy, and effort in this situation ship. I know we were suppose to be friends with benefits . But it really became more than that . I just wonder . Why did he stop loving me ? What did I do wrong ?

    1. It seems to have become more than that for you but not for him. It sucks and I'm sorry but at least he is telling you now and you can move on and find someone who will want a real relationship, too.

  4. There is this guy I work with who makes an effort to talk and be around me. He's shy but after I start the initial conversation he can talk on and on. Anyways we've had really good surface and some deep-ish conversations. A lot of people all think we're dating because we always spend so much time together laughing and talking, just us. I felt that something was there and we were doing really good! But when my work friend/ wing-woman got him alone and ”joked” about us being together and asked if he was into me he got extremely defensive and made it sound like I was the one fully obsessed with him when it's been 50/50 this whole time.. Is he not not into me or confused or something because I don't know.

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