Are you a person who constantly obsesses over text messages? Do you reread texts 100 times to make sure they’re okay, or get your friends to read them for you so they can reassure you?
Do you worry when the guy you like doesn’t text you back immediately?
I get it. As an anxious person myself, it can be incredibly difficult not to obsess over what you said, to whom, how, when, and every other minute detail. It can be even more difficult not to obsess over every text (or its lack thereof) from the man you really like.
If any of the above resonates with you, this guide will be a highly beneficial read.
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Sometimes, it’s difficult to tell if a guy likes you based on his texting habits. We’ve put this section together in the hopes that these pointers give you a better indication of his feelings for you.
If a guy likes you, he’ll be consistent in his texting patterns. He won’t text you consistently for a day or two and then disappear for a couple of days, or weeks before you hear from him again.
The more you get to know a man, and the more you chat via text, the more easily you’ll begin to recognize patterns in his texting habits. For example, some men will message you consistently every morning to say good morning while other men might message every couple of hours, in between their busy work schedules.
Consistency doesn’t mean he’s messaging you every hour, it simply means you’re likely to hear from him every day.
If a guy really likes you, he’s likely to take it upon himself to message you first, first thing in the morning. Before you know it, this might become a regular occurrence. This is a strong sign a guy likes you and that you’re the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up.
If he responds to your messages quickly, it’s another sign that he likes you and is trying to impress you. He wants to give you a sense of surety that he’s interested in you and is keen to find out more about you.
If a man really likes you and hasn’t heard from you in a couple of hours, he’s likely to come up with an excuse to message you. Whether he’s having a bad day or a great day, has found a cool new coffee spot, read about a new restaurant opening up, or just wants to check in on you, he’ll find a reason to message you and get the conversation going.
If a man is interested in you, he will ask you a lot of questions as a way to get to know you better. This is especially true in the beginning stages of a relationship. He is likely to ask you questions about your likes and dislikes, your upbringing, your family, your work, and your hobbies.
If you like him, use this time as an opportunity to get to know him better as well. Ask open-ended questions that’ll give you insight into his life.
Men don’t generally use emojis unless they’re trying to convey their feelings for you. If he texts you using a heart emoji, in love eyes, the hugging emoji, the kissing face, or any of the other emojis that have hidden, sexual connotations, take it as a sign that he has feelings for you and wants something more than just friendship.
If he’s busy and he’s likely to take some time to reply to your texts, he’ll let you know ahead of time. A man who likes a woman isn’t likely to leave her guessing, instead, he’ll let her know exactly when she can expect to hear from him next.
In the event things don’t go as planned, and he can’t text for a couple of hours, he’ll message her again as soon as he can and let her know why he wasn’t available. He’ll do anything he can to avoid making her feel uncertain about his feelings for her.
If a guy gives you compliments in his interactions with you it shows he’s taken a keen interest in you. He might compliment you on the way you dress, interact with others, raise your kids, dress, see the world, or anything else he finds inspiring about you.
Complimenting one another is an important part of feeling appreciated and seen in a relationship and helps build relationship satisfaction.
If he’s texting you even when he’s out socializing or with his friends, it’s a sure sign you’re on his mind nonstop.
In fact, he’s probably thinking about you and wishing you were there with him. If a man carves out time to talk to you even when he’s out with the boys, he’s genuinely interested in you.
An obvious sign a guy likes you and wants to get to know you more is if he drops hints at going out on a date with you. He might drop hints by asking what your weekend plans are, where your favorite restaurant or coffee shop is, or when you have availability next.
Laughing together is a great way of bonding. So, it’s no wonder why a man who likes you or is interested in getting to know you more will try and find ways for the two of you to laugh together. He might send you funny memes, video clips, jokes, or pictures in an effort to make you laugh. Take this as a good sign.
Here, he might say things like, “I’d give you a backrub if we were together right now,” or “It would be so great to have a glass of wine together now.” By making mention of what the two of you would be doing together in person, he’s hoping to entice you to hang out with him face-to-face or go out on a date with him.
If he texts you throughout his day, it’s a sure sign he has strong feelings for you and can’t stop thinking about you. You might have one conversation going that extends throughout the length of an entire day or have multiple conversations in a day where he checks in with you periodically. Either way, it shows you’re on his mind constantly.
Guys don’t generally send long messages, they’re usually short and to the point in their texts. However, if he’s taking time out to craft long, thoughtful responses to your messages, it’s a sign he likes you and wants to show you that you’re a priority in his life.
If a guy genuinely likes you, you’ll be the last person he thinks of and messages before going to bed at night. Good night messages are a sure sign he likes you and you’ve been on his mind.
A guy who likes you might give you a nickname as a form of endearment. He might start calling you things like babe, love, dear, baby, or a shortened version of your first name. Being playful in a relationship is a great way to bond.
They often say a person’s true colors, thoughts, and feelings shine through when they’re intoxicated. So, if he’s drunk texting you, you can be sure you’re on his mind, in a good way. He might even open up when he’s been drinking, revealing his true feelings for you.
However, if he only ever texts you or flirts with you when he’s drunk, that’s not a good sign either.
If something big and important happens in his life and you’re one of the first people he talks to about it, you’re clearly important to him. This is a great sign that he sees you as more than just friends.
If a guy responds to you with one-word answers, it’s not a great sign. If he’s interested in you he’ll find ways to keep the conversation going. He’ll show a genuine interest in what you have to say and will ask open-ended questions or follow-up questions to ensure the conversation doesn’t die down.
A guy who likes you will share things with you that he thinks you’ll be interested in. For example, if he just read an interesting article, found a cool new cafe he thinks you’d like, saw a funny video, or saw an advert for a new series coming out that he thinks you’d enjoy watching, he’ll share it with you.
If a guy notices something is off through your text messages and shows his concern for you, it’s a clear sign he cares about you.
A mature guy who really likes you might be straight up about his feelings for you. He might say things like “I miss you,” “I wish I could see you right now,” “I enjoy talking to you,” or “I really enjoy your company.”
For most guys, this can be a difficult thing to do and will require them to put their ego aside. So, if a guy is this honest about his feelings for you, it’s a positive sign that he’s serious about you and your relationship.
When you’re at the point that the two of you share inside jokes together, it’s a sign that you’ve both grown fond of each other and are starting to know and like each other on a more intimate level. Sharing private, inside jokes is a great way of bonding and strengthening your communication.
Don’t be surprised if the guy you’re texting remembers small and personal things you tell him. He might remember things like your favorite movie, snack, coffee shop, or when your birthday is. If he’s remembering such small and specific details it’s a good sign that he’s taken a keen interest in you and wants to make a good impression.
A mature guy won’t play games if he likes you. Generally speaking, he won’t blow hot and cold, purposefully take a long time to reply, leave you hanging, or be vague about his intentions. If he’s engaging in any of the above, toxic behavior, you’re probably better off moving on. Take these behavior patterns as warning signs and red flags.
While the above-mentioned factors can be frustrating and might make you feel as though the shy guy you’ve been texting is uninterested, just know it’s normal. These habits are not an indication of how he feels about you but rather an indication of his personality and, perhaps, some of his insecurities.
You will know a shy guy likes you when he:
It becomes exhausting rereading every message you send or getting friends to approve your messages before you send them to the guy you like. I get it. You don’t want to come across as overly keen or needy but you don’t want to give him the impression that you’re uninterested either.
So, without further ado, let’s look at what guys tend to find attractive when texting.
Most people love hearing good things about themselves and for men, who are predominantly driven by ego, this is even more true.
Generally speaking, men are likely to receive fewer compliments than women do. So, if you stroke his ego, and mean what you say, he’s likely to fall for you quicker. Plus, he’ll always remember how good you make him feel - and everyone wants to be around someone who makes them feel good!
Here are some ideas of the type of compliments you might want to give him (only if you mean it):
If the guy you’re speaking to has done something nice for you or made you feel great, let him know. It’s important to let others know that their gestures don’t go unnoticed and that you appreciate their efforts.
By showing appreciation, he’s likely to carry on doing kind and romantic gestures for you.
If you’re interested in him, there’s no harm in being flirty over texts. Just as difficult as it might be for women to guess whether a man is interested in them or not, so too it might be for men.
So, if you like him, let him know by dropping subtle hints. Being flirtatious will keep the conversation going and keep things fun. In long-term relationships, flirtatious text messages are a fun way to keep the spark alive!
Here are some of the ways you can be flirty over texts:
My only suggestion here is that you don’t come on too strong too soon or you might scare him away - it all depends on the type of person he is. Start out subtly and let things evolve and develop naturally.
Men love feeling needed and one of the ways you can do this is by asking them for advice. Asking him for advice also shows him that you trust him and value his input or opinion. So, the next time you’re wondering if you’re making the right decision, swing it past him. He’s sure to appreciate it.
Remembering the good times you’ve shared together is a great way to bond and build on your relationship.
If a memory of the two of you pops into your head, share it with him. Or, if you find a special photo or song that takes you back to a great moment in time together, share that too. He’s likely to want to relive that moment with you and will find a way to do it.
Generally speaking, men are visual creatures. Sending him photos of yourself, what you’re up to, or the two of you together is a sure way to pique his interest, make him miss you, or make him want to see you ASAP.
When you really like someone it’s very difficult not to become overly needy of their time and attention. Don’t act out if he takes a while to reply to you or doesn’t reply the way you wanted or expected him to. This is a sure way to drive him away. Instead, remain calm and understanding.
This goes hand-in-hand with the above-mentioned step. It’s not about playing hard to get in a toxic way, but if you’re scared you’ll become too needy, focus on your task at hand instead of immediately replying to every single message he sends.
This way, he’s sure to remain excited every time he hears from you while also learning that you have your own priorities.
One of the tell-tale signs that a guy likes you is when he texts you first more often than not. Don’t start all the conversations. Instead, give him space to come to you and initiate contact. One-sided effort is never a good thing.
Too many emojis, too many messages, double texting too often, or too many calls and he’s sure to run a mile. In this case, less is more. Be friendly but don’t overdo it.
Texting is fun but only for so long… if you want to get to know him a bit better, let him know that you’d prefer to catch up or get to know him in person. Taking this step also gives him the perfect opportunity to ask you out on a date.
Don’t give a guy the impression that you’re sitting around waiting for him to text or call or meet up with you. Make it clear that you’re independent – financially, socially, and emotionally.
As much as men enjoy being relied on from time to time and providing for their loved ones, no one usually wants a needy partner. Your independence shows him that you like him but aren’t dependent on him.
Keep conversations interesting and thought-provoking. There’s nothing more boring than constant small talk. Talk about his day, your career, amazing places you’ve traveled to, great restaurants and cafes you’ve tried out, or whatever else is interesting and keeps the conversation moving.
Men love it when women are able to laugh with them or make them laugh. Men are enticed to spend time with women who they think will make for good company and what could possibly be better than spending an evening with someone who sees the lighter side of life and knows how to have a good time?
This should go without saying but it’s important to show each other respect. There are boundaries that shouldn’t really be crossed in the early days of dating or talking to someone, like questioning his/her religious beliefs, the way they choose to raise their children, the career they’ve chosen, or their political views.
Furthermore, avoid poking fun at him while you’re still getting to know each other. He might not take it lightly and might decide to cut all interactions then and there.
A golden rule that should always be remembered is, if you want it to last long, take it slowly. Don’t pour your heart out too quickly or too easily. You both need to work on deserving each other’s trust.
Yes, from time to time men do appreciate it when women text them first. If they’re always the ones messaging first they may begin to feel as if you don’t like them or as if they’re beginning to annoy you. When men begin to feel like this, they may start backing off. So, in order to avoid this, make sure you text them first occasionally.
If a guy likes you he’s likely to message you daily - this might be something as simple as “thinking of you” or he might attempt to start a conversation with you. That being said, make sure he’s making an effort to at least start the conversation more often than not. You don’t want to be the one initiating contact every day and just receiving one-word answers back.
Sometimes, a guy will play a little hard to get by messaging you every other day instead of every day. However, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. In fact, it probably means he likes you quite a bit and is trying to win you over by building anticipation or giving you space. On the other hand, if he’s texting you daily it’s a sure sign he really likes you.
Yes, just the same way women reread messages, guys reread them too. He might be rereading messages to reminisce about the past or to reevaluate what he said. Either way, if he has feelings for you, he’s likely to reread some past conversations.
When it comes to communication via text messages, there are some obvious signs to look out for that indicate whether or not a guy likes you. I hope this guide gives you some insight and confidence when texting someone you like.
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