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Guys Perspective On Texting (13 Things They Wish You Knew)

February 4, 2023

Are you fed up and frustrated with the process of texting guys?

Do you hate the way men text you?

Or do you get stressed thinking about what message to send them?

If so, you really do need to read the entirety of this guide.

It explains 13 things that men wish you knew about the whole texting process.

I used to be in the same boat as you. Whenever a guy didn’t text me back, I used to think it was because I was a horrible texter.

However, the truth was: I didn’t understand what men were looking for in a long-term relationship at all.

I could never elicit the emotions that made them want to settle down with one great woman.

Thankfully, I learned how to do that and it turned my tragic dating life upside down.

So, if you’re struggling to develop lasting loving connections with men, please read my guide on how I discovered a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

This is the part of the male brain mostly closely associated with love, affection and lasting desire.

Once you know how to activate a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’, they turn to putty in your hands. Within a short while of knowing you, they can become obsessed with your company and the way you make them feel.

This guide is therefore a must-read for any woman who is dissatisfied with the quality of the men they’re able to tie down.

Of course, it might also be that you’re a shoddy texter. So, make sure to read the article below as well. It’ll help you to see texting from a man’s perspective and send the types of messages he looks forward to receiving.

How Guys View Texting

Before you text a guy, this is a must-read. It’s going to save you countless hours spent trying to figure out what his texting behavior means. This insight came from some more of my guy friends, who were wonderful in doing personal interviews, combined with research about what is really going on in their heads when they’re sending a girl a text. 

Here are 13 things you need to know before you pick up your phone. 

1. If he doesn’t respond right away, it’s no big deal

Some guys are notorious for sending a text to a girl, and then putting their phone down. If they don’t send an instant response, it doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. Instead, it could indicate that they are out with friends, enjoying time with children, or engrossed in a particular hobby. 

They might send a message, and then intentionally wait minutes before even looking at their inbox again. Imagine yourself sending a text, throwing your iPhone across the room, and refusing to look at it for a prolonged period of time. Some of the opposite sex tend to do the exact same thing! We think they are all fearless, but they simply are not. They get nervous, scared, and are downright shy at times too. 

Men that don’t respond to a girl for days on end, however, are probably not interested and don’t want to get to know you. They don’t have the heart to send a text to tell you that. 

2. Texting too much is overwhelming

Texting too much is overwhelming

When you send a person a text, give them a chance to respond, especially if it’s a man. We girls can answer those rapid-fire “wyd” and “want to meet up” questions in one long paragraph with our eyes closed. Guys that haven’t had the chance to respond to the first one don’t want to get five more messages back to back. 

3. Don’t ask a lot of questions

If he’s having long conversations with you, the natural flow of the conversations will help you get to know him. This is a better way to get to know a man. When women rapid-fire questions, even if they are innocent questions like his favorite color and how many kids he has, it can make things seem more like an interview instead of a friendly conversation. 

4. Everyone has their own texting habits

Sure, there are some guys that prefer to never text and talk on the phone instead. Other guys would rather text a little bit a day, and not be bothered at work. Consider that when you first start exchanging text messages. His habits might be different from the next guys. Not all men are the same, so it doesn’t always help to analyze those habits. In fact, we should probably stop analyzing texting habits. 

5. Guys don’t analyze every single text

We look at everything from emoji usage to punctuation because we can text like that. (I put periods at the end of messages when I’m irritated.) Men, however, do not. They read the words in front of them for what they are. Men do not read into anything more than the content that you send them. It means that if you’re angry, he probably has no idea. This is why miscommunication via text messages is so common. 

6. Smiley faces are not necessary

Not only are emojis not always necessary, but they can also be a huge turnoff for men. If you tend to use emojis, limit it to one every other text or so. He does not want to receive pages of cute penguins or need a lip emoji for a kiss at the end of every sentence. 

7. Nervous guys might like hiding behind a phone

Nervous guys might like hiding behind a phone

Even if a guy shows interest, he might not feel comfortable with other ways of communicating. Talking on the phone is more intimate, so he might not be comfortable with that. Men that are feeling shy are more likely to share things about themselves, and voice their interest in you, over a text message. 

8. One date does not mean a relationship

Guys have a date with a girl or just met her, and they want to see her again. This means that they will text her like a friend. However, a girl will be sitting by her phone eagerly waiting for a response, and determine his level of interest based on how quickly he sends her a text. This is where the two don’t work out in the beginning. 

He’s taking things slow, and she’s already in relationship mode by texting back fast. Instead, understand that men will continue to text as they do. It doesn’t mean they don’t think you’re relationship material. 

9. Sometimes, guys intentionally wait to text back

While we’re sitting there, infuriated that it took two hours to send a three-word text message, he’s trying to play it cool. That’s right. Some men think if they text back too soon, it makes them look needy. Texting might involve consulting their group chat first. A person might also be a bad texter because they think it makes them look more mysterious, so you’ll like them more. 

10. Double-check the name before you hit send

Some guys have received text messages that weren’t meant for them. That means the girl was texting more than just him. Even if you’re not in a relationship, no guy wants it thrown in his face you’re talking to another person. Think about how a woman would feel if he sent a text, and then said it was meant for another woman. 

We’d lose interest pretty quickly, and probably take the time to tell him off before blocking him. 

11. Guys use more of a filter with girls they like

Guys use more of a filter with girls they like

This could be another reason that he’s not texting you all day. It’s nothing to text dumb things to friends. With a girl they like, they think about the context of messages. They want to make sure you’ll like it. They don’t want to send you anything that could be a huge turn-off for you. It can actually lead to less texting than he does with everyone else. It’s because he likes you. 

12. Slightly risky texts to judge your response are a thing

If he’s frequently just getting out of the shower, he’s hoping you’ll tell him to prove it or that you wish you could jump in with him. It is a way to test if you’d like to have sex with him without him sending you nudes or that random dick pic. It’s less risky because you won’t be offended, but he can still at least ask his friends if they think you will sleep with him. 

13. They share texts with friends

This is usually for help deciphering what you meant, or why you’re mad. It can be irritating to know that his entire friend group has seen all of your texts, but there is a positive side. Men don’t put too much thought into things like that. Usually, it’s gone in the conversation as quickly as it comes up. Of course, his friends aren’t going to confirm this for you though. 


How do you tell if a guy likes you while texting?

He texts less because he doesn’t want to be needy or uses a serious filter when talking to you. He might be more open to using emojis than previously. Guys that like you are more likely to double text or try to keep the conversation going. They ask for more information about you to learn about you. 

Do guys think it’s weird if a girl texts them first?

No! It’s the opposite, actually. When you text a guy first, it shows that you have self-confidence, which most guys love. It also doesn’t leave them trying to figure out whether they should text you or not. Just don’t send more than one at a time or you might scare him off. 

Does texting a guy everyday annoy him?

It depends on whether he likes you. When a guy is interested, he’ll appreciate you texting him first. It shows you’re confident, know what you want, and that you’re also interested in him. If he’s not interested in you, but you keep texting, it’s going to get annoying quickly. 

How often should a guy text if he likes you?

Every guy is different, but he’ll text you at least three times a day if he likes you. Of course, sometimes guys text a lot more than that. For instance, if you’re deep in conversation, you’re going to get a lot more than three texts that day. 

Is he interested or just being polite?

Does he respond with polite, short responses to your texting? Is he initiating the conversation, or do you always text him first? Does he have conversations with you? The more you answered yes, the more likely it is that he is interested in you. Polite guys don’t bother with conversions or unnecessary responses. 


Men and women seem to look at texting differently most of the time. However, all males have different rules. These are some of the most common ones that guys can usually agree on. What would you add to the list?


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