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When Your Husband Doesn't Provide What You Need (17 Ways To Cope Emotionally Or Financially)

by Sonya Schwartz

When we first fall in love and subsequently get married, very few of us think about what happens after what was meant to be our happy ending. In fact, getting married is just the start and to make the marriage work, a man and his wife both have to work together to make the relationship a happy and loving one. 

What can make this particularly hard is if the husband seems totally incapable of providing his wife with what she needs both emotionally and financially too. Both have huge implications on a person’s life and their happiness. It can also have large ramifications on a family and the home as if the wife is not happy, it is picked up on by any children who are much more sensitive than we all realize. 

Here, we look at ways you can cope so things at home do not get to the point where your marriage ends in divorce. Our tips will help those who often hear themselves saying ‘my husband doesn't help me financially’ or those that just want their man to step up and provide in a way that you don’t want for anything in terms of emotional support. 

What To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Provide

There are a number of different tactics you can take if you find that your marriage is not working for you in the way that you had hoped when you said I do. Remember, things will most likely never improve unless you tackle these issues head-on. You need to be proactive and bear in mind that you are just as much in charge of your happiness as anyone else.

1. Tell Him Your Needs

Without a doubt, one of the best things you can do to make things better between the two of you is to tell your man what you want and need. This doesn’t mean you have to sit him down and issue him with an ultimatum, but it does mean that you need to be open and honest with him so he knows where you stand. 

2. Focus On Yourself

It can be so tempting to just resign yourself to being taken for granted by your man or your family when your husband doesn’t provide for you in the way that you had envisioned at the beginning of your marriage. However, remember that you can make yourself happy too so try to take time out of your day or week to focus on yourself. Do something that will make you happy without worrying about your man or family. 

3. Start Hobbies Together

start hobbies together

Often, people find that their relationship doesn’t meet their emotional or financial needs because they have started to drift apart - even though that wasn’t intentional. If you fear that to be the case with your marriage, it can be a good idea to start a hobby together so that you have a mutual interest that does bring you back together on a regular basis and gives you much needed common ground. 

4. Have Dedicated Time

Modern life is very busy and often things get in the way of us spending quality time with each other even though we love one another very deeply. However, if you are finding that your relationship is being consistently overlooked, take the time to dedicate your attention to one another and you may find that the two of you start acting more harmoniously at home. 

5. Go Away

Getting some perspective can do wonders for a couple or even a family. Getting away from those very distractions created by modern-day life which makes it so difficult to have quality time together, can mean that a man and his wife actually do find the time to sit down together and talk. That talk doesn’t have to be a big in-depth conversation, it can just be light-hearted and fun - the point is that there is a conversation in the first place. 

6. Know Your Financial Situation

If you are particularly concerned with the fact that your man does not help you financially, when you need that help, then you need to look at yourself and your own individual financial situation. By knowing where you stand financially, you are giving yourself the knowledge which can help you make better-informed decisions about what jobs you apply for or what purchases you make now or in the future. 

7. Concentrate On Your Career

concentrate on your career

Concentrating on your career can be a great manner to ensure that you are actually happy in your relationship. The reason being is that having things outside of your marriage that is important to you can give you confidence, which your man will pick up on. It will both encourage him to respect you more as well as take pride in his wife. 

8. Surround Yourself With Like-Minded People

Surrounding yourself with like-minded people is a great method to ensure that you are happy in the long term in both your marriage and your life as a whole. It can also give you the confidence in yourself that you could be lacking that could stem from your husband not providing for you in either an emotional or financial manner. 

9. Don’t Forget Your Friends

It is important to have friends and significant relationships outside of marriage to ensure that you are happy in your marriage. Not only does it mean that you are less reliant on one another for all your emotional needs, it simply gives you people that you can talk to when you are having issues at home and with your family. 

10. Have A Time Out

It sounds drastic, but getting away from one another can be a great idea to improve relations at home. Not only does absence make the heart grow fonder so that when you come back together you are happy to see each other, but it also means that you have a break from any of the behaviors that are upsetting you in the first instance. Time outs don’t always mean breaking up, it can just give you both the space you need. 

11. Consider Counseling

consider counseling

Marriage counseling is not something that people like to start doing lightly. However, its power should not be underestimated. It can help two people work through their problems more easily when a counselor gives them a safe space within which to talk about any issues that they are dealing with. 

12. Ensure The Kids Are OK

If you have a family with your husband, it is important to ensure that they are ok during times of turmoil at home. The impact of any tension between their parents is easily picked up on by youngsters and can seriously affect their moods. Check-in on them as often as you can. Plus focussing on your kids can also give you something else to think about other than not having your financial and emotional needs met by your man. 

13. Be Dignified

It can be so easy, when you feel like a wife that is being taken for granted, to start building up resentment that can cause you to behave badly and rashly towards your husband. You can start overreacting to every little thing. However, when you look back, you will have far fewer regrets if you stay calm, diplomatic, and dignified as much as you can. It also will help diffuse any issues a lot more quickly than if you consistently get drawn into heated arguments with your man. 

14. Remember Relationships Are Two Ways

It is imperative to remember that you are part of the relationship and the couple, just as much as your husband. This is crucial to bear in mind as you need to take ownership of your part in how your relationship is currently playing out. Therefore, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to stop your husband from behaving in this manner and is there anything you can do to help the situation from your side?

15. Have Confidence In Yourself

have confidence in yourself

Perhaps one of the best things you need to remember when you feel that your husband is not answering your emotional and financial needs is that you deserve better. Knowing that you deserve better comes from having confidence in yourself. 

If you do not have that confidence, you will simply be too accepting of his actions towards you and eventually, you will both fall into bad habits that become an unsatisfactory status quo. Ensure that you remember your worth so that when you do come to talk to him about how to better address your needs, you know what you are fighting for. 

16. Have A Life Outside Your Relationship

Having social stimulus and interests outside your relationship is just as important as having mutual interests within it. It can be so easy to get totally caught up in your family’s life so that you forget about yourself as a person. 

When this happens, people feed off it which can be one of the reasons why your husband forgets to stop trying to fulfill your needs. Importantly too, when you have a life outside your relationship you put less pressure on your relationship to be everything to you as well. 

17. Show Him The Impact His Actions Have

It’s not always enough simply to tell your husband that he is not providing for you emotionally or financially. Additionally, some men may need to be shown the impact that his actions, or his inaction, can have on a person. Tell him what his behavior towards you makes you feel like and why. Tell him how it can affect your relationship and your children as a consequence. It is the results that can often get people to make a shift in their actions. 

FAQs

What are the signs that your husband doesn't love you anymore?

There are so many signs that your husband doesn’t love you anymore. You need to ask yourself what is typical of his character when he doesn’t like someone and see if he displays the same behavior as you. Also, ask yourself how different his actions are in comparison to when you first started dating. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

What to do when your husband ignores your needs?

When your husband ignores your needs you need to concentrate on yourself and make yourself happy, but additionally, you do need to sit down with him and talk through the issues at hand. If you don’t, he may not realize that his actions are having such an impact on you. 

What does it mean when your husband doesn't care about your feelings?

It can mean a number of things if you feel your husband doesn’t care about your feelings. Ultimately, there is an imbalance in your relationship which results in your marriage not tending to your needs and you being unhappy at home. That imbalance needs to be addressed as soon as possible. 

What does it mean when your husband doesn't listen to you?

If your husband doesn’t listen to you, it can point to the fact that there is a lack of respect between you and he doesn’t value your opinion. However, do ask yourself whether he listens to anyone. If he doesn’t, it could just be how he acts and it isn’t specific to your marriage. 

How do you know your husband doesn't respect you?

If your husband is forever putting you down or going against your wishes, you can probably assume that he doesn’t respect you or value your opinion on things. Try to find ways to assert yourself, but also remember that your needs are important too. Don’t always defer to him. 

My Husband Doesn’t Help Me Financially Or Emotionally - In Summary

It can be so hard when your marriage does not quite live up to your expectations because you feel your husband is falling short both emotionally and financially. If you feel that to be the case with you and your spouse, it is imperative to realize feeling like that won’t just magically go away on its own. 

Instead, it is a subject you will need to broach with your other half in a calm and non-confrontational manner to work through the issue. Do so whilst employing the other tactics we suggest above and you should find that your mental health improves no end. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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