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Tired of Begging For Attention From Your Husband? (5 Things You Should Do)

Last updated on June 14, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Are you sick of begging for attention from your husband?

Is he not making you feel as loved as you would like? 

Are you wondering how to address this problem in a helpful way? 

If so, read on. This guide provides some detailed tips on what to do.

However, before we dive into this guide, it’s important that you read the next few sentences very carefully. 

It’s highly unlikely that your husband has withdrawn for no reason. There’s almost definitely something that’s happened to make him turn on you like this.

If you don’t know what that is, the best thing to do is find out

The problem is: your husband might not always tell the truth about this, especially if he has been up to no good. 

That’s why I wanted to tell you about this incredible discreet background checker tool

With just a few of your husband’s contact details, this tool can provide a detailed history of his recent communications. 

You can discover who he’s been frequently communicating, what online services he has signed up for and whether he has any secret phone numbers. 

Put simply, if there’s something dodgy going on behind the scenes, this tool should make it immediately obvious. 

Then, with the correct information about what’s going on, you’ll be in a much better place to address the situation. 

The guide below offers some more advice on how to do so. 

There are ways around issues like this - that are to do with how you perceive your husband's behavior but also how you can tackle his actions so that you never feel like you don't get any attention from him.

How Do I Stop Begging For Attention?

It is a common complaint from women that they are asking for attention all the time from their husband. Sometimes the lack of attention makes them wonder if their other half is in love with them any more - particularly if they were very attentive and full of affection years ago at the start of the relationship.

Here are a few proactive ways to get back to things like they used to be, or even start to be. You will and can be a happy wife again that is emotionally fulfilled in her marriage. Remember that to get things to how you would like them to be, you will have to change too - not everything will be at the feet of your husband.

Play Hard To Get

One way to start getting more attention from your husband is to play him at his own game. This means that you should play hard to get and be less available to him whenever he wants. If you are not always around for him whenever he wants, you will hopefully find that he starts chasing you.

His chasing will make him behave a lot more like he used to at the beginning of your partnership. At the beginning of a relationship, when neither partner knows what the other one really wants, partners tend to be more tactile and affectionate for fear that the relationship will end soon. In a marriage, this fear is diminished and so many husbands do not see the need to be affectionate anymore.

Show Him Attention

On the flip side of this, you can actually get more attention from your partner so you feel more loved by showing him far more attention. The reason that this method can work is that it could well have been that your partner was not getting much attention or affection from you - even if you had become less tactile as a result of his decreasing physical displays of love.

By upping the ante in how much affection you show him, it can often be the case that he will want to see and touch you more as a result. This will come from feeling far more confident and stable in the relationship and because he will know that his affections will returned. So often, people do not physically touch their other half for fear that they will be rejected - even if that someone is their wife.

Make Him Jealous

It is often seen that affection goes out of the window in a marriage due to the spark going out of the relationship. This spark can go out for many a reason but the main one will be that the couple simply goes too comfortable with one another. This can then lead to taking one another for granted.

A good way for your husband not to take you for granted is by thinking that you could leave him for someone else. This may be the furthest thing from your mind, and you know that you would never act on anything with someone else, but it can help the attention you get from your husband if he you make him jealous by spending time with another man.

Obviously there is a very fine line to be had here and relationships where another person is involved is a whole other issue, but a little jealousy can sometimes bring the spark back into a marriage.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Ask Him What His Needs Are

Ask Him What His Needs Are

If you do not want to make him jealous or play hard to get, another proactive way to get attention from your other half and feel loved again is to ask him what he wants from the relationship. It could be that his attention has waned because he doesn't feel his needs have been met by the woman in his life, whereas years ago they were.

If you know what it is that he wants to see in a marriage and what he will want in the future from you, you can start to address those needs and by doing so, he will more likely be prone to showing you affection and attention. It is important for couples to support each other and if it is the case that you don't feel supported by him, then it is most likely that he doesn't feel supported by you.

Take An Interest In His Hobbies

Along the same lines of getting to know what your husband will want from a partner, is the idea of taking an interest in him and his pastimes. This is a form of attention that will make him feel much more loved and respected, but also has the positive byproduct that you will both have more to talk about.

By having similar interests, you will spark more conversation between the two of you by having more common ground. This can help in turn as he will go on to show you more attention and love as he will see you as someone that he can talk to about many things.

Can A Marriage Survive Without Affection?

If none of these methods work, you may ask whether a marriage can survive without affection for it's such an important part of a relationship. While it can be difficult for a marriage to work when you feel the need for more affection than the other one gives, that is not to say that it cannot last.

It is, of course, difficult, if you always think that your husband does not bestow you with enough kisses or does not touch you enough, let alone wants to know how your day was, or does not want to know what you like to do in your spare time. However, sometimes, it can help if you just accept that this is a drawback to your husband. Instead, it can be better for you and your relationship to focus on the good parts.

Just because your husband does not give you affection, it does not always automatically follow that he does not love you and does not want to spend time with you. As his wife, he will most probably think you are good company and would be sad to know that you are thinking negatively of him when he probably provides a lot more elsewhere in the relationship.

For example, does he spend a lot of time with the kids and does he help out with your family? This can be a man's way of showing his love, even if he does not do it physically with you. He could also know you better than you think so that he will always buy your coffee the way you like it, or know what to get you for gifts around your birthday.

People show affection and attention in many different ways and sometimes going without physical affection in a relationship is more about learning how else your husband shows you his love.

How Do I Deal With An Unaffectionate Husband?

How Do I Deal With An Unaffectionate Husband?

If you ever ask yourself what to do when husband shows no affection, then follow the next few steps to help get around the problem or rise above the issue to ensure that your marriage and love lasts. It is more than possible to deal with an unaffectionate husband, you just have to either address the issue with the previous the steps above, or take on board the following ideas.

Remember That It Is Not You

It can be so so difficult not to take unaffectionate behavior personally from the man you love. As a loving wife, you will often think that is natural for him to want to bestow you with affection, but that isn't always the case. And it is certainly nothing that you are doing that is causing him to stay away from touching you or showing you attention.

Realise That He Is Not Affectionate With Anyone

As a natural progression of realising that it is not your fault that your husband is not affectionate, bear in mind as well that he most probably does not feel the need to be affectionate with anyone. In fact, if he is not affectionate with you, there is a very slim to no chance that he is ever going to be affectionate with any other person.

Changing his actions otherwise can sometimes be quite difficult as showing someone physical affection is actually just a natural outpouring of their personality. It could be that they are simply a much more restrained and quiet character who is not ever going to make huge public displays of love.

By remembering that he is not affectionate with anyone, you will most likely make yourself feel better about your relationship and your status as his wife.

How Do I Tell My Husband I Need More Affection?

How Do I Tell My Husband I Need More Affection?

While it is absolutely imperative to take on board your husband's personality and therefore his predisposition for showing, or not showing, affection - that is not to say that your needs should not be met either. So while he does not need to show you affection, you may well need him to be more tactile with you from time to time. In fact, there is a balance to be had between the two of you so things remain on a good and even keel.

Here are a few ways of telling him that you need affection so that you get what you need from the relationship too.

Talk To Him Directly

Perhaps the most obvious but overlooked ways of getting much needed affection is to talk to him directly about your issue with his lack of tenderness. In doing so, you can be absolutely certain that he knows where you stand on this issue and so he can either take it on board, or not. While this can make for uncomfortable conversations, it is always best to get issues out into the open and share your feelings with him.

Show Him Through Your Affection

A good way of telling your husband that you need more affection is simply by showing him. He may pick up on the many times that you kiss him or hold his hand, that this is the type of behavior that you like, want and need. As his wife, he wants to make you happy and so he will most likely try to start being more tactile with you.

Additionally, remember how he tries to show affection. A good way of getting what you want from a relationship is giving the other person what they need too. So offer them help with things they find difficult or be present in a situation that they would need support in. By doing so, you will be naturally more appreciative in a physical way with you as well as starting to respond physically to your openly affectionate ways.

Affection Begets Affection

By showing your husband that you need more affection through bestowing him with physical signs of love, and as a result of him therefore mimicking your actions, you will find that you will both become more affectionate to one another over time. This is because, affection begets affection.

Tired Of Begging Your Husband For Attention? (5 Things You Should Do) - The Bottom Line

Weeks, months or years ago, when your relationship started, you were probably both a lot more affectionate with each other and would probably show each other far more attention than you do now. This is quite natural in even the most stable of relationships.

For you to get your relationship back to where you think it should be, you need to think about how you show your love to your partner as well as telling him what you need in the future for your relationship to last. He will probably be more than happy to address your worries as any man who is in love with his wife will naturally do.

Physical forms of love and affection are an incredibly important part of any relationship so it is a good idea to address the lack of it as soon as you notice that it has all but disappeared. By doing so, you save yourself from the chance that your marriage simply descends into companionship and friendship. For some, this can be fulfilling and enough, for others that need a bit more passion and spark, it can be a difficult pill to swallow.

Has the attention and affection from your relationship dwindled in years gone by? Are you constantly begging your husband for attention? Or do you know someone who has seen the affection and physical displays of love drop off recently? If so, leave your name and story below. Or email or share this article with your friend so that they can begin to get their marriage back on track. You can comment too on how you have found this piece useful to you.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

9 comments on “Tired of Begging For Attention From Your Husband? (5 Things You Should Do)”

  1. I am struggling with this issue from the past 3_4 years. I have did everything what you have mentioned in your solutions. Nothing worked or is working. There is a paragraph which says he can show his love by spending time with kids and household things. ...
    Infact, we don't have meaningful talks except about kids n chores.

    The only way now is counselling. .
    Maybe my last hope or I will live without it...

    1. I am dealing with the same thing and it is hard not to feel unwanted. He swears he loves me, but his actions say otherwise to me. I hate living like this. I have also tried the different approaches to fixing it with no avail.

      1. Girl same here. I've tried it all. Been with my husband almost 20 years and it's just getting worse. I try to talk to him and it gets better for a little bit. Maybe a week max. Then it's like he doesn't care anymore again. Like physically talking to me, holding my hand, cuddling with me or having sex with me is a chore. But I suggest concealing and he says we don't need it. Maybe a divorce then? And he goes to swearing he loves me and our family so much and that's the last thing he wants. I really think we're just two people with 5 kids that are just familiar with each other. More like just to people getting up and raising kids. Not a loving intimate relationship. And I want and need to feel wanted. I've gone to blaming myself or my weight the fact that I'm older to blame. I don't know what else to do. I don't want my marriage to end. But I also don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life.

        1. Same here. I have talked openly - for over 3 years - about what specific needs I have that are not being met. He doesn't want to do anything I enjoy - if it isn't football, hunting, or car related - he doesn't care. He checks his phone when we talk - he gets distracted easily when we talk - but not when he is talking to anyone else. Either he isn't listening at all OR he IS and he is doing this on purpose. I have begged him to spend time with me. I have blamed myself - i have read books, gone to therapy - worked hard to get my body back after 3 kids - because i thought it was me. (I'm in better shape now that I have ever been.) His sex drive is there - but not like it used to be & it seems like he intentionally does the things i said hurt me. I'm 45 - and i feel alone. I know I deserve to be happy - and I am tired of turning this heart break inward on myself - it isn't healthy.

          1. Heater, I have the same issue with my wife and don’t know where to go from here. I strive for affection and compassion, my wife is a good mother to our for kids and there is nothing left for me. I work to provide for my family. I am 49 years young and still need the affection of a 20 year old young man. I am so tired of begging for love. I go to work on the weekends to avoid frustration.

        2. I know you don't want your marriage to end but it sounds like the relationship has already ended . He doesn't care about your emotional needs or happiness and he doesn't seek out you for affection . In in a marriage too where the relationship has ended and I'm just waiting for the last child to move out so I can too. I've done all the counseling and I'm done crying and feeling empty..

        3. I have been married for 27 years. We have 4 kids that are very successful in there careers. I love my wife. I work to a lot to make the make the mortgage. When I go to bed my wife is always on her phone. I take this very personal. I am always the bad person. Every time my kids need help with their cars, or need my truck, or my girls have a flat tire, dad is always there. I am tired of begging for time to pleasure my wife.

    2. I suggest you learn more about the pursuer/withdrawal cycle, it should explain what you are facing, and check on more information on how to break the cycle,
      I hope this helped.

  2. There is no way you cN accept an unaffectionate husband. Its strange that he shpws affection through household chores and kids quality time as this is a necessity and not a favour. Its not a only a womans job of kids and chores. God created a woman for a man to be loved chased to touch. If she doesn't get it.. Time to walk away but many don't as kids are young.

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