Everyone hopes for a loving, secure relationship in their life, but sometimes what we think is the relationship of our dreams with someone we love actually turns out to be a one-sided relationship. One-sided relationships occur when only one party in the couple is fully invested in the relationship and, therefore, the responsibility for making it work and moving forward falls on their shoulders.
The scary thing about these types of relationships is that you might not even realize that you’re in one. Rather than scrolling through one-sided relationship quotes and trying to figure out if that’s how you feel or not, let’s look at signs of this kind of relationship from a relationship expert.
So, this article is here to show you the 21 signs of a one-sided relationship so you can figure out if you are in one or not.
Table of Contents
One of the most obvious signs that you are in a one-sided relationship is if you are the one that’s always making the plans to see each other. If you stopped organizing things to do together, do you think you would actually see each other at all? If the answer to this is no, then you’re most likely in a one-sided relationship.
If you’re cohabiting with your partner, then obviously you won’t have to make plans to see each other, but you will notice that you are the one that’s always organizing date night, doing chores around the house, or making sure you spend quality time together.
Are you always the first to send that ‘good morning’ text or are you always the one that picks up makes the phone calls to see how your partner’s day is going? If you are the one making the effort to make sure communication happens in the relationship and you notice that your partner never contacts you first, this isn’t a good sign.
Of course, people need to see their friends as well as their partner and it’s completely normal for your partner to spend time with their friends, in fact, it’s a nice thing and shows they are a loyal friend. However, in a healthy relationship, people normally schedule certain times to see their friends and when they’re not with their friends, they are normally doing things with their significant other.
If you are in a one-sided relationship, you might notice that your partner prefers to spend time alone with their friends rather than with you, or they will pass up spending time with you so they can hang with their buddies. You deserve to be a priority, not an option.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel secure enough to be the real you around your partner and fully open up to them. In one-sided relationships, the relationships aren’t secure. Therefore, you will find you’re not able to fully express who you are. Instead, you might feel that you’re always trying to keep your partner interested and, therefore, you’re concerned with everything you do like how your make up looks, what you wear, what you say and how you act.
In each relationship the finances and who pays for what is different. However, in a healthy relationship, one person isn’t expected to pick up all of the bills and finance everything. If you notice that you are always the one paying for date nights, buying gifts for your significant other, or even paying the household bills, you could be in a one-sided relationship where your partner expects you to cover the cost of everything.
In a loving partnership, each person in the relationship tries to please the other and make them happy, by listening to their needs, wants, and desires. In your relationship, are your needs being fulfilled by your partner as much as you are fulfilling your partner’s needs and desires? If you’re answer is no, then you could be in a one-sided relationship. It’s not a fair relationship if you are constantly trying to make your partner happy but they have very little regard for your needs.
In one-sided relationships, it will seem that no matter how much effort you put into them and into making your partner happy, there will always be someone else that will do a better job. It might be that their family and friends make them happier than you do, someone they work with or someone new. Regardless of who it is, if someone else is making your partner happier than you do, especially after you’re doing everything you can, this is a red flag.
Do you know much about your partner apart from the basics? Have you ever discussed their childhood or their hopes and dreams for the future? If you feel that you only know your partner at surface level, it could be because they aren’t invested in you to tell you anymore. You might find yourself trying to dig deeper and get more personal information from your partner only to be disregarded or ignored.
For some reason, people always believe that you can’t be lonely if you’re in a relationship. If you’re in a one-sided relationship or have read any piece of information from a valued relationship expert, you’ll know that this isn’t true. As much as you love your partner and try hard to make it work, do you feel lonely or unwanted? It’s probably because you’re in an uneven relationship where feelings and effort aren’t reciprocated and you’re searching for more depth and commitment.
If you’re in a one-sided relationship, your partner will always avoid talking about the future. You might keep bringing up the future for the two of you, or the dreams and hopes you have of your life together in the next few years. However, when you try to discuss the future with your partner they might lack enthusiasm for it or even try to change the subject. They won’t want to talk about it because they might not see a future with you, or they’re certainly not as into it as you are.
It’s always useful to take a look at your sex life, as it tells you a lot more than you’d think about the kind of partnership you’re in. The first thing you’ll want to think about is whether it’s always down to you to initiate sex. Secondly, when you’re having sex, is your partner selfish, or do they want to pleasure you too? After sex, are you intimate together or does your partner decide to move on and leave the situation? If you’re in a one-sided relationship, your partner will be a selfish lover, you will always be the one that has to initiate intimacy and they will most likely not spend time cuddling afterward.
A huge red flag that indicates a one-sided relationship is if your partner doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, or doesn’t spend time with other people at the same time as you. A one-sided relationship will often feel like a secret relationship, and you might feel that your partner doesn’t want to share the fact that you’re a couple with the world.
Do you feel that you get on your partner’s nerves or that you’re a burden? This isn’t a healthy feeling in a relationship. You should feel uplifted, supported, and loved by this person, not feel like you’re annoying them by existing. It’s horrible to feel like you irritate your partner, and if you do it’s probably likely you are in a one-sided partnership.
If your partner cancels your plans together on a frequent basis to spend time with others or even to spend time by themself, that’s not a good sign. Your relationship will most likely be one-sided if your partner passes up spending time with you or cancels on you last minute without regard to your feelings.
Everyone’s love language is different, and, therefore, it’s completely ok if your partner doesn’t buy you gifts but instead organizes romantic dates for the two of you. However, if you can’t remember a time when your partner did something romantic for you, it’s probably because they can’t be bothered doing anything for you, and instead, they expect you to organize the romance in the relationship.
One-sided relationships are insecure, which not only means that you will feel like you are constantly on edge and can’t be yourself, but it also means that you will be worried about your partner being unfaithful. In a committed relationship, you shouldn’t have to worry about your partner cheating on you, but in a one-sided relationship, it’s a very real, constant worry that they are looking around for someone else to be with, especially because they don’t make the effort to be present in your relationship.
Do your family and friends think that your partner isn’t good for you? Perhaps your significant other has canceled on going to events with you at the last minute? You might find that you’re always having to make excuses for the way your partner acts. Your partner won’t be concerned with what they look like in the eyes of your friends and family.
Due to the fact that you feel insecure in the relationship and you’ll be putting so much effort into making your partner happy, you might realize that you have become someone that you’re not. If you are concentrating so much on keeping things in the relationship alive, you will lose who you are and become someone that you don’t recognize.
If your significant other is active on social media but doesn’t mention you at all on their accounts or doesn’t want to publicly show that the two of you are together, it’s a cause for concern. If you post photos of the two of you together, but they don’t want to, it could be because your commitment and love in the relationship aren’t reciprocated.
If you’re in a one-sided relationship you might notice that you argue a lot more than most couples do, and most of these arguments are probably started by you showing concern about the lack of love and commitment from your partner (which is extremely valid). However, you will always be the person that apologizes to your partner and fixes the arguments because you want to make peace. Your partner won’t really care about arguing with you, and especially won’t care about making up with you, so then the responsibility of keeping the relationship alive once again falls on your shoulders.
One of the most obvious signs that will tell you if you’re in a one-sided relationship will be if you feel yourself wanting more from the relationship. In the back of your mind, you will know that this person doesn’t care as deeply for you as you do for them and therefore you shouldn’t be with them and you definitely shouldn’t be making as much effort as you are for things to work out. If you look at other couples and feel jealous of the loving, committed relationships they have, you probably know that the one you’re in isn’t working for you.
If one person is trying harder for it to work and the love isn’t reciprocated in the relationship, it will be very difficult to make it work. Rather than trying to make it work, you might want to ask yourself whether you are going to allow yourself to be a one-sided relationship when you actually deserve one with joint effort and commitment.
If you think you’re in this type of relationship, there’s only one person that can make the difference and that’s your partner. You’ve been making all of the efforts since the relationship started and now it’s their time to make it work. One of the most important things when dealing with this kind of relationship is communication. Talk to your partner openly and honestly and evaluate things together.
One-sided love could be true love, but it’s most likely that it’s infatuation and the attraction of wanting to be with someone that makes you work for it. True love is really between two people that share in the beauty of life together.
The 21 signs listed above in this article will help you to answer this question. However, overall, the signs are unreciprocated effort, one person always initiating sex and intimacy, insecurity, and lack of commitment.
One-sided love is very rarely successful and only brings about pain and hurt. It will only ever be made successful if the other person in the relationship starts to make up for their part in the relationship. Both people need to come together and change it for things to work.
Hopefully, this article has shown you the signs of a one-sided relationship, and if you are in one but have been hiding from the truth, you have finally come to the realization of it and can try to move forward. Everyone deserves a true, committed, loving partnership with mutual effort and reciprocation, so don’t give in to requited love. Did you like this list? If you did, leave a comment and share the article!