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What To Say To Your Cheating Husband (17 Vital Things) 

Last updated on July 28, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Do you suspect that your husband has been unfaithful, but have no way of proving it?

Do you feel the urge to scream, shout and curse until he admits his wrongdoing? 

Perhaps you feel stuck because you have no way of proving his infidelity? 

If this is how you feel, it’s time to take action and find out what is actually going on.

It’s no good for your marriage or your mental health to be in this situation. 

You need to discover the truth about what’s happening, so you can move on with your life, with or without your husband. 

Thankfully, there is an online tool that allows you to do this. A discreet online tracker which will reveal all you need to know about your husband’s behavior (click here to check it out).

Once you enter a few of his basic details, the tool will show who he’s been frequently communicating with online, any secret dating profiles he has, plus a ton of other information that’ll alert you to potentially shady behavior.

If your husband has been cheating, it’s likely to become immediately obvious. 

The article below offers some advice on what to say to your husband if it turns out he has been unfaithful.  

17 Things to Say to Your Cheating Husband

People cheat for several different reasons, but the major cause is a lack of personal standards. If your husband cheated on you, try not to blame yourself unnecessarily. Instead, think of the most worthwhile things to say to your cheating partner to get to the bottom of things. 

If you’re wondering how to start anew with a husband that cheated, this article is also for you. It focuses on the common pain points partners tend to go through, and how to get all the details you need to handle your broken marriage.

1. Are you aware you’ve hurt me?

If you have a cheating husband, you must be emotionally distressed. However, some men can be oblivious to how their actions affect their partners. One of the things you should be trying to find out is if your partner knows how much pain they’ve caused. The answer to this question will expose your partner’s true affection for you. 

Try not to handle this step with anger. If you raise your voice or try to be aggressive, your partner would be reluctant to answer. Instead, ask him subtly. This process will ensure you get the most authentic response from him. If he’s nonchalant about the situation, it will inevitably show. On the contrary, if he feels remorseful, you’ll easily detect it.

2. Are you feeling guilty?

It’s essential to realize that not everyone will experience guilt when they’ve done something wrong. A person’s belief system often dictates whether or not they’ll feel blameworthy for certain actions. Before confronting a man that cheated on you, it’s crucial to find out if he feels remorseful for his actions. This process will determine his current state of mind.

More so, it will help you know how to move further in the marriage. If he doesn’t feel bad about his action, it will help you channel your pain elsewhere. However, if he feels chargeable, you can work towards restoring your marriage. The most essential thing is to seek answers to your questions before taking a further step.

3. What happens next?

If you’re handling infidelity in your relationship, it’s always crucial to make a mutual agreement with your partner on the next line of action. Don’t make any decision on your own or choose to let everything slide. Even so, don’t assume that your partner will eventually agree with whatever action you may have decided without him. 

Having an open discussion about the problem will help you manage your expectations. Even if you found out the truth by yourself, facing the issue head-on is inevitably the best action to take. It will save you from experiencing more turmoil or getting your hopes up without any actual resolution. This process would also help you hold your partner to account for any conclusion you make together.

4. Are you eager to work on our marriage?

One of the most important questions to ask a cheating husband, especially when you’re trying to know what happens next, is this one. You need to discover if they’re truly willing to work on the relationship. Never assume that they’re on the same page with you. It’s crucial to remember that you’re the partner on the receiving end, while they might be in a good spot.

Your level of grief may not be the same as theirs, which means you need to find out how they’re feeling. They might not be anxious about repairing things, and this realization can affect many other things. If your spouse cheated on you and wants things to continue on a fresh note, it is essential to ask whether or not they’re willing to repair the relationship.

5. Why did you do it?

One of the essential things a wife wants to hear from her unfaithful husband is why he did it. This explanation can significantly reduce the amount of emotional turmoil she’s going through. It brings clarity to the situation and helps her make sense of the scenario. Peradventure, it was merely a one-night stand, a wife can easily wrap her head around why her partner would cheat. 

Although this process doesn’t reduce the pain of the affair, it can help her understand her partner’s weak spots. Therefore, try your best to make your partner open up about the events leading up to his unfaithfulness. You can also set boundaries on the information you’d like to hear, and stick to only the essential points.

6. We should see a therapist.

Some relationship issues are often too difficult to solve and might require the help of a professional. This point is especially true when a husband cheats. If you’re trying to talk to him but your effort seems futile, it would be best to have the support of a therapist. Understand that it would be wrong using force to try to fix your relationship. 

On the contrary, try to settle all grievances most maturely. This process will guarantee and safeguard your well-being in the end. If your partner disagrees with the idea of seeing a therapist and doesn’t want to settle the dispute amicably, then you know it’s time to move on. It’s essential to protect your future happiness by doing what’s best for you.

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7. Is this the first time?

is this the first time

If you find out that your husband is cheating, it only makes sense to ask him how long it’s been going on. This action can help you put things in better perspective. Peradventure, it was a one-time thing, you’d know how to handle the situation. If it’s a recurrent issue, you can choose the best line of action to settle the dispute.

It’s also crucial to read your partner’s body language while asking this question. They might be untruthful to try to appease you, but paying attention to their temperaments will help you discern matters. However, understand that the anxiousness of the situation can make your spouse fidget even when they’re being truthful. Being sensitive will give you better results.

8. Does she know about us?

If your partner has been having an affair with the same woman, it’s essential to find out if she knows about your existence. It’s possible to have a lying husband who might be deceiving you and another woman while hiding the fact that he’s unfaithful. Nevertheless, finding out the true story can put an end to all his shenanigans

This information would be useful if you ever come in contact with the other woman. More so, it will help you deal with the situation accordingly. It’s also essential to note that an unfaithful partner might try to cover up their tracks at all costs. Tying up any loose ends will give you a better advantage amid the chaos.

9. Can we talk about it?

This statement is precisely what you should tell a cheating partner if you want to work on your marriage. It’s a subtle way to let them know that they can be truthful to you. More so, you aren’t going to judge them for their actions. It’s necessary to hear what they have to say about the situation. Their response will determine if they’re interested in fixing the relationship.

However, it’s necessary to set up barriers during this process. Be specific about what you want to know to avoid hearing anything that might aggravate the issue. If your partner seems hesitant to communicate, give him time But, don’t let the situation slide. Having clarity is much better than making assumptions.

10. What was the problem?

When a husband cheats, there’s likely a reason for it. Most of the problems could be based n his personal beliefs and principles. If he doesn’t see a problem with infidelity, he’ll be unfaithful. Therefore, try not to beat yourself up for your partner’s actions. However, some difficulties can cause a man to cheat, especially if he doesn’t want to tackle the issue directly.

Asking your spouse the cause of the problem will give you clarity on several matters. It’ll help you decipher whether it’s a personal problem or a marriage difficulty. However, ensure your partner doesn’t gaslight you into believing you’re the problem. If he doesn’t give a concrete reason, be rest assured that his standards aren’t right.

11. What’s your reason for staying?

Most cheating husbands tend to remain in their relationships for one reason or the other, which may not be profitable to their spouses. They might enjoy the comfort of their relationship enough not to break it. But, this doesn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t cheat the next time. It’s necessary to find out why your spouse wants to keep the relationship to gauge their intentions.

They might claim they love you or give an emotional speech. Still, it’s important to watch out for their actions. If they say one thing and do the opposite, it means they don’t truly value you. In such a situation, it’s necessary to prioritize your happiness and do what’s best for you.

12. Are you okay?

Sometimes, being empathetic can help partners rebuild their marriage. Irrespective of whether your partner broke your heart by their actions, you can try to look out for them. Ask your spouse how he’s doing and see if the situation is affecting him as much as it’s hurting you. This act of kindness can set him on the right track and make him more eager to work on the association. 

If your spouse doesn’t respond in a friendly manner, it’s necessary to give him space. However, if he opens up to you, listen to what he has to say. This process can create a deeper connection and help both of you mend your problems. It will also help you to understand his viewpoint better.

13. Do you want to have a relationship with her?

If your husband is cheating, it’s necessary to consider the future of your association with him. You can accomplish this by finding out his intentions with the other woman. Will he still associate with her? Will he break all ties with her? How does he hope to rebuild his family with you? These questions will bring clarity to a lot of issues. 

Have a conversation with him and concentrate carefully on his response. More so, ensure he backs them up with actions. He shouldn’t make empty promises merely to lead you on. You can also ask if he needs help staying away from his cheating partner. Offering help can ensure he says safeguarded from further temptations.

14. Will you end the affair?

will you end the affair

You can determine how willing your partner is to repair what was lost by asking this question. If your partner feels bad for his unfaithfulness, he’ll surely put an end to his illicit involvement. However, if he plans to cheat again, he’ll be reluctant about ending the matter. Asking this question helps you know where you stand with your partner.

If your spouse is keen on rebuilding his family, he’ll go the extra mile to show his willingness. However, if he keeps making promises without taking action, it means he’s not ready to repair things.

15. There’ll be a lot of new changes.

Another thing to say to your cheating husband is that there’ll be new changes. He shouldn’t expect things to revert to the same way they were, or he might take you for granted. It’s essential to state how the issue might affect the association and the necessary actions that will restore the marriage. If your spouse is serious about rebuilding things, he’ll make an effort.

However, it's crucial to be practical about the new changes. If you’re too stringent on your partner, it might wreck things beyond repair. Therefore, offer the best solution to the problem, and something that your partner can accomplish. The essence of the rebuilding process is to ensure you’re the only woman in his life.

16. You need to be honest.

If you sense that your cheating spouse is giving an excuse for his behavior, this statement is the best one to make. However, do it encouragingly. Let him know that he can share the true story with you without judgment. It can further rebuild the connection you have with each other. 

Try to speak to him as a best friend and not just a partner. The more he feels comfortable around you, the more you can work towards repairing the relationship. Nevertheless, if your partner chooses to remain untruthful, you should decide your next line of action. You can decide to give it some time and try again, or if you want to save the association.

17. Will you do it again?

If you experience a cheating scandal in your marriage, you’ll inevitably want to know whether it will happen again. You should ask this question to determine if your husband is likely to cheat again. If he’s remorseful about the first incident, it means he’ll avoid repeating the act. On the contrary, if he gives a nonchalant answer, it means he might cheat the next time.

Watch how your partner responds to this question. You can also ask if he needs help keeping to his promise. If he wants to protect his family, he’ll do his best to repair the association. However, he might need your support, and not the involvement of other loved ones. 

FAQs

How do you treat a cheating husband?

If you have a cheating husband, it’s essential to have all your facts and evidence in check. Next, you should confront them about the situation. Listen to what they have to say and determine your next line of action from there. 

How can I hurt my cheating husband?

Even though getting revenge on an unfaithful husband seems like the most likely thing to do, it’s crucial to protect yourself at all costs. Being spiteful might only bring more harm to you in the long run. Moving on and being independent is the best payback you can give.

How do I talk to my cheating husband?

You need to evaluate the information you have before confronting your cheating spouse. Next, think about the type of outcome you hope to achieve. Pick the best place n time and ensure you ask the right questions. More so, observe your husband’s body language.

How do I find peace after being cheated on?

What you say to your cheating partner will determine the amount of closure you get. Avoid making assumptions. Instead, seek clarification. It’s also crucial not to blame yourself for what happened. Take care of yourself and consider moving forward as a priority.

What are the signs of a guilty husband?

If your husband is avoiding you, being overly emotional or angry, or tries to justify every action they take, it means they are guilt-ridden, they might also try to overcompensate you for the littlest things. That’s how you know they feel guilty about something. 

In Conclusion

Did you like this article? Know that addressing these common pain points will help you receive closure sooner than you expected. Kindly leave a comment below or share this article with your friends.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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