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Characteristics Of A Successful Marriage (19 Signs Your Marriage Is In For The Long-Term)

by Sonya Schwartz

There are uncountable marriages out there. Each of them has its unique attributes with partners of different personalities. Sometimes, when people go through toxic situations, like domestic violence, some people feel it's normal, while others think it's unhealthy.

The same thing applies when couples think they're happy together when they're sad in reality. This has happened many times and it's something that will happen often. People will keep having different perspectives on how a marriage should be. The bad thing is that it will always bring questions, confusion, and conflicts.

A successful marriage is when the two partners are happy internally and externally. This means that no two marriages can ever be the same. One marriage could have couples who prefer to spend money and travel around the world, while the other couple could decide to live on a tight budget. 

What makes a happy marriage is when both partners have a mutual agreement on something and they're okay with their decisions. They work on those decisions and manage the mistakes they make together. But, that doesn't mean there are no defined attributes of a good marriage. Here are 19 characteristics every successful marriage should have.

19 Characteristics Of A Successful Marriage

1. Love

love

Love is mentioned first because it is one of the most important things in a healthy marriage. Don’t get this wrong. You need other qualities to make your marriage successful. The only thing is that if you don’t love your partner, you may not have the willingness to consider the other qualities. 

Love in marriage means giving your all and accepting his all. If you can, you could make it unconditional love. That means, loving your partner even when he doesn’t do things your way. That automatically balances other important qualities of a successful marriage. 

Before you decide to live with a man, you must love him wholeheartedly. This is one of the things you need for a healthy marriage.

2. Good communication

Many people fail to communicate with their partners in their marriages. Imagine living with someone you can't talk to, or express your feelings without holding back. That's not a happy marriage. Whoever you get married to, you should feel free to communicate with him. A healthy marriage involves two best friends.

You should be able to resolve issues whenever you have any. It doesn't matter how you do it. You could say it casually if he doesn't mind. Or, you could organize a beautiful hangout or dinner date to discuss any issue with him. Talk about the things that make you both uncomfortable. Communication is one of the essential traits of a healthy marriage everyone should practice.

3. Trust

Relationships, where partners trust each other, tend to be very successful. It's okay to be a bit jealous when a woman gets close to your partner. But, don't be insecure about it. Trust that there are certain mistakes your spouse can't do and stick to that thought. Do that, so you don't have doubts about him.

Even when things seem to go wrong, try your best to rebuild trust with your husband. It may take time or it may not. But, you should use creative ways to make your marriage more successful. One way to do that is to trust your partner's decisions, his way of life, and suggestions concerning your life.

4. Emotional connection

Marriage is not just about having a partner to live with in the house. You need to have an emotional connection to live the best life together with your husband. It doesn't matter how you do it, or how you both express your love language. Study your partner and know his personality. That includes knowing his flaws and how to manage them.

You should anticipate spending time with him. A successful marriage is such that you look at your partner, and love him physically and otherwise. You connect with him in levels no other person can. You should understand when he talks or acts in a certain way. That's one of the things that make a successful marriage.

5. Understanding

One of the essential traits of a good marriage is complete understanding. This doesn't mean you should tolerate him when he makes mistakes, instead of correcting them. When you feel the need to react to something you're not okay with, please do so. At the same time, know your partner’s limit. If he's financially incapable of supporting you, try your best to be patient with him. 

Understanding also means you know he's busy with work, can't spend time with you, but you're okay with it. That's because you know anything good he does is for the good of your marriage. Understanding comes in when you don't only care about needs, but your partner's, too. It's one of the characteristics of a successful marriage.

6. Respect

Respect is one of the essential traits of successful marriages. It's something you and your partner need to practice to have a healthy marriage. Not only in the way you talk to him but the way you treat him, privately and publicly. As surprising as it may be, healthy marriages should be based on mutual respect even during intimacy.

Respect is not only needed to make a strong marriage but to make a relationship successful. So, take your time and treat your partner right. Say positive things to him. Don't do or treat him in a  way you wouldn't want him to treat you. Respect his boundaries just like you would want him to respect yours. This is one way to build a healthy relationship or marriage.

7. Compromise

Compromise comes into play in many ways. It doesn't only mean giving up some of your needs or preferences to make things right in your relationship. It means to be fair to your partner without being forced to be. This is one of the characteristics of a successful marriage.

Empathize with your spouse. How would you want him to react or accept things if you were in his shoes? Take some time out of your schedule to listen to what he has to say without interrupting and see how you can make things work. Don't be selfish. Weigh your options and be willing to sacrifice for your partner when need be.

8. Commitment

commitment

When you agree to get married to someone, that means you're ready to be with him through thick and thin. You don't want to play around and you're ready to give up relationships that are not beneficial to you. This is commitment, which means you're willing to do anything to have a successful marriage.

Of course, things would get in your way. They will make you cry and ask unanswered questions. But, what would make your marriage successful is when you accept these things, and you're okay with them. You know there will be solutions and are sure that everything would be okay in little or no time. Commitment is an essential trait for relationships.

9. Support for each other

Married couples who spend their lives supporting one another are happy couples. That's because they want to see each other succeed in every aspect of life. So, take your time and listen to your husband's goals and aspirations. Ask questions when need be. Be open to help whenever he needs you and ask for his support, too.

Support could be in any way. It could be financial, physical, psychological, or otherwise. It could be as little as cheering him when he's at work or listening to him vent. You could make him a special meal or drop some homemade snacks for him when he looks stressed. These and more, are the little ways to show support in a successful relationship. 

10. Intimacy

Not everyone takes intimacy seriously. Some feel But the truth is, successful marriages have the greatest intimacy. You and your partner need to spice up your intimate life to make things exciting in your way. Try to make your sex life and everything related to it as fun as you can.

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On the other hand, intimacy is not only about sex. It's about the things you can do as a couple without the knowledge of a third party. That's when you can both do something interesting privately. You could tease each other, romantically, or go into something not as intimate as sex, but still fun. This is one of the important qualities of a successful marriage.

11. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important quality of every relationship. If you observe, you'll notice a slow growth when you hold grudges against your partner. This means you should learn to let go when your partner makes mistakes, especially when he apologizes for them. Vent all you want and don't accumulate your anger. That's how to keep things moving forward in your relationship. 

Marriages with couples who forgive each other easily are those that succeed with little stress. That's because they can easily heal and move on when they let go. When you forgive your partner, it's like you're giving yourself a burden-free heart. This makes it an essential trait for a healthy marriage or any relationship out there. 

12. Honesty and transparency

Most married couples tend to forget that they need honesty and transparency in their relationships. It's not something you expect from your partner, you should also do it. Let your partner know what you're up to. Be honest about your plans. Take some time to explain why you're making certain decisions to him. 

Don't do suspicious things, like hiding the name of your male friend. Even when you feel your actions are wrong, let him know. He should get certain negative information about you directly from you, not an external person. You should also ask him questions when you're skeptical about his behavior or decision. That's one way to have a healthy marriage.

13. Good sense of humor

In every successful marriage, there must be a good sense of humor. It doesn't matter if it comes from you or your spouse. Say funny things. Make every situation you encounter as funny as you can. Reminisce about the good times in the past and laugh about them together. 

A good sense of humor makes married couples’ lives happy and stress-free. If you both feel you don't have a nice sense of humor, you could try watching comedy skits or movies together. Go out to where you know you can see funny things to laugh at. That way, you get to build good and funny memories to laugh about in the future. This is another characteristic of a healthy marriage.

14. Appreciation

Appreciation opens ways for greater love. Learn to appreciate your partner's strengths, no matter how minor you may think they are. Appreciate him for being successful in his career even with the ups and downs he experiences during the journey. Find a way to make him feel good for his hard work and all he does. 

That's one way to make things better in any relationship. Your appreciation will give your partner more strength to grow and achieve his goals. You may not know, but most times, when a partner appreciates the other, they begin to feel happy unconsciously. They get encouraged to take the next step, which becomes a springboard for them to build a strong relationship

15. Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the essential qualities every marriage should have. The sad thing is that not every couple sees this as a major thing. But in reality, it's needed to make a strong relationship. Be grateful for the positive things your partner does to make your marriage work.

It may sound like a big deal, but it's not. Couples should learn to say “thank you” to each other. Thank them for the meal. Be grateful to your partner for fixing the light. Thank him for clearing his schedule to spend time with you and your family. You may think he must do so, but he could decide not to. So, thank him for always making an effort.

16. Common interests

Common interests involve many things. It includes the two partners understanding each other and agreeing on the same thing most times. A couple having a common interest doesn't mean they should have the same likes and dislikes. It means they should have some mutual things that interest them when they're together.

This should come into play in many couples’ lives, whether it's planned or not. As a happy couple, you should have something that excites you. It could be as simple as a vacation location, the number of kids you want to have, a particular meal, or a future business idea. 

Couples who have common interests use this to strengthen their relationships. This is why it's one of the characteristics of a strong marriage.

17. Happiness

happiness

Every couple should be happy in their marriage. You should do the things that bring joy to you and your spouse. Avoid holding onto things, especially when you know they'll only bring quarrels, misunderstandings, and conflicts between you and your partner. That's one of the key qualities needed to strengthen the bond with your partner.

Plan many vacations. Go out for drinks. Plan surprise lunch or dinner dates for each other. Travel out for random tourism. If you can, buy each other little gifts as often as possible. Write pop notes on little papers or send them as emails to your spouse. You and your spouse need to be happy to have a successful marriage together. 

18. Give attention and spend quality time together

For a healthy marriage, learn to spend quality time with your partner. No matter how busy you are or how tight your schedule is, create some time to relax with your spouse. You may not necessarily do anything. You could just lay in silence or see a movie together.

Another way you could do it is to ask what they're up to. Listen to their problems, relate to them, and offer solutions. Even if they're fantasizing, you could just laugh or play along with their fantasies. Giving your parting attention goes a long way to strengthen marriage and reduces the chances of unfaithfulness. This is why it is a good characteristic of a successful marriage.

19. Vulnerability and sensitivity

Most people are scared of being vulnerable in their relationships. But, the truth is, you need to be open enough to let your partner connect with you on the deepest levels. This means they should connect with you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, and otherwise. That's what vulnerability in marriage involves.

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You should also be sensitive when it comes to your partner. Show kindness and practice empathy with their feelings. Even when you warned them about their past mistakes, be accommodating enough to understand their pain. 

Doing this would encourage them to open up to you always, whether they're happy or sad. This is one of the characteristics of a successful marriage.

FAQs

What are the 3 most important things in a marriage?

There are numerous qualities you need to strengthen a marriage. You need love, trust, and understanding to make your marriage work. Every other quality spurs from these three qualities. Other qualities include patience, tolerance of bad behavior and flaws, and communication. But, it depends on different couples and what they need to strengthen their relationships.

What are the pillars of a successful marriage?

Affection, understanding, love, commitment, humility, continuous improvement, and intimacy. There’s also communication, acceptance of each other’s lives, and goals. This means the couple would learn to understand each other while making an effort to correct one another’s mistakes. This is what blends everything and brings happiness in a marriage.

What are the good qualities of a wife?

A good wife should love and accept her husband for the person he is. She should support his goals and appreciate his strengths. Additionally, she should be communicative, romantic, and expressive. A good wife should have a listening ear and also be her husband's best friend. These and more are what a wife should possess.

What are 3 warning signs of an unhealthy relationship?

An unhealthy relationship involved domestic violence or physical abuse. That's when a partner physically hits the other. It also involves humiliation, where one partner verbally abuses the other publicly or otherwise. Furthermore, marriage is unhealthy when one partner tries to restrict or unnecessarily control the other partner’s way of life. 

What is most important in a spouse?

Apart from love, respect is the most important thing in every relationship. Respect each other’s boundaries, decisions, and how they live their lives. Couples should also value each other in thoughts, words, and deeds. This should be a daily positive trait in marriages. And it's one of the virtues a spouse should possess no matter the gender.

Summary

There are numerous characteristics of a successful marriage. Some, you may know. Some, you may not necessarily see them as characteristics. For starters, you can read the 19 characteristics I mentioned earlier. I hope you liked this article. If you did, please feel free to drop a comment and share it with others.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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