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How To Deal With An Insecure Husband (17 Wise Ways) 

by Sonya Schwartz

Surviving with an insecure partner is one of those struggles most people try to cope with everyday of their lives until they get to a turning point.

Living with an insecure partner or man could be a hard situation to deal with and could affect your mental health and life in general. The thought of it alone could be so devastating especially when your partner is not willing to get help on his part. It’s hard enough to wake up to make certain decisions about your life let alone deal with a man with insecurity. 

On the other hand, it’s not entirely difficult to survive with an insecure partner or man. You could find ways to talk to him about facing the matter or at least working towards improving. It sounds exhausting and it may take a lot of hard work but it’s worth the try. So how do you manage to stay with an insecure man? Keep reading to know 17 ways you can help yourself with this. 

17 Ways On How To Deal With An Insecure Husband

1. Recognize he’s insecure and talk to him

One of the ways to solve any challenge is to recognize and face them so you know which direction to go. As soon as you start seeing signs of any insecurity in your spouse, try to talk to them about it. Try to overcome any fear of hurting his feelings. 

Let him know so he can come to terms with them and find a way of tackling them as well. Subtly tell him how you feel about his behavior and listen to his response. How he reacts or responds to the discussion could give you a clue on how to solve it further.

2. Listen to them

Listen to them

Listening is one of the most important ways to deal with an insecure man. Try to hear them out when they’re talking about their insecurity. There’s no point to argue because it would only make things worse. Just listening to them to solve a part of the problem.

Let them say how they feel and what makes them insecure. You could respond with empathy by first of all showing that you understand how they feel and you’re not happy that they feel that way, then try to suggest how they can tackle that fear. Sometimes listening to your insecure partner could make you understand exactly what they’re going through.

3. Let him own up to his insecurities

Many women feel they can love someone out of their present condition or love them to a point that it begins to change things for the better. Well, the exact opposite happens. It’s like you rewarding a child with a gift when they mess up. What do you think would happen the next time? They’ll do it again. 

So, if you keep patting your partner on the back whenever he acts insecure, he’ll keep doing it trusting you would understand, love, or support him just the way he is. Not that it’s wrong to do that, you should only do it at the right time and let him own up to his insecure attitude

4. Don’t make excuses for his insecurities

Talking about this, if you think you’ve pulled off any behavior like lying unnecessarily or cheating that brought his attitude to play, then it could be your fault and he’s right to be insecure but if you haven’t, then his insecurities are purely his to deal with and he just chose to follow that path. 

An insecure man or husband always has a way of putting the blame on you no matter the situation. If it works on you, it becomes their normal way of emotionally blackmailing you to readjust to their way of life which is not healthy for a marriage. So, give him space to deal with his insecurities and don’t make any excuses for him. 

5. Do the things that make you happy

One way to survive an insecure partner is to do the things that make you happy. Don’t lose yourself in the process of trying to make him happy. He could complain when he sees you talking with another guy but that shouldn’t stop especially if it’s beneficial to your marriage or career. 

If you feel happy doing some hobbies or games, dressing up and hanging out with friends, or just going out for a walk; you should keep doing it. They would relieve you of some stress and if you don’t or you stop doing those things, you may be sad or depressed and your relationship or marriage may come to a standstill.

6. Create some boundaries

One of the ways to manage an insecure partner, boyfriend, or man is to keep some things away from him. It’s healthy for every relationship but it’s very necessary if you need to deal with an insecure spouse. Your phone or social media accounts are your personal business. 

Don’t give him something to feed on. Not only would you help him overcome his fear or insecurities, but you also get to help him improve his trust and patience skills which would be good for your relationship or marriage in the long run.

7. Be firm

Be firm

If you’re going to deal with an insecure husband or boyfriend, you have to learn how to be firm and stand your ground whenever you feel what you need to do is right. You already know he’s insecure which means you expect any behavior of such to come up at any time.

Learn to say no when you don’t feel comfortable with any of his wishes. It would go a long way to mend things. It could bring a slight misunderstanding between both of you but it helps him deal with his flaws slowly until everything is normal.

8. Encourage him to face his fear

Your partner could know he’s insecure but may not want to accept the pain of facing it due to his ego or any other personal reason. That is very normal in every human being. They just need some encouragement to be able to take the next step.

So, encourage your man to face his flaws. Who knows? It could be something so simple to handle. He could just need reassurance from you that he’d have your love, support, and encouragement if he decides to face it. So just keep encouraging him to do the needful thing to help him get rid of the pain for the good of your relationship. 

9. Encourage him to hang out with friends

It could be during your hangout with friends too. Sometimes a guy could feel insecure when you’re going out. You could convince him to also meet or hang out with his friends to take his mind off. Because sometimes, explanations don’t convince them, and when they do, they don’t last.

So tell him to call his friends for games night, sport outside, or a drink. It one of the ways that would help calm his mind from jealousy or unnecessary assumptions when you’re also out doing your own thing. 

10. Come to a compromise

If your man feels insecure, is clingy, or needs so much attention, you both could come to an amicable compromise that would help your relationship. Of course, it depends on his level of insecurity and how well he’s ready to accept change for the better.

For example, you could decide to check up on each other by call, text, chat, or a short message once or twice while you’re both away in different places. It would help reduce some negative thoughts in the short and long run. So that way, he doesn’t feel alone.

11. Try the reverse method

Another way to deal with an insecure partner or husband is to act the way you would want him to act when responding to your way of life playfully just to send a message across. Handle situations openly just the way you think they should be done.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

If he’s open-minded enough, he may pick the message faster than you could imagine, and the quicker he does, the better for your relationship. You could do this once in a while and not all the time to avoid complicating issues between you two. It may not be as easy as it seems but it’s always good to try.

12. Keep him in the loop

It’s always good to carry your insecure partner along in your relationship. You already know he has insecurity issues and you’re trying to help him overcome them. Try to tell him or let him know what you’re doing if you sense a gesture of unease from him. 

So if you’re on the phone for long, you go hanging out with friends, or you go out for a business deal, you could just summarize everything involved, how long it will take, and why he doesn’t have to feel some kind of way about your movement. It could also help your insecure partner to calm down.

13. Compliment them

Compliment them

An insecure partner or man needs all the love you can shower on him. It doesn’t mean you should do it when you’re drained or when you don’t mean it. Sometimes they’re filled with doubt and fear with reasons being that their love may not be reciprocated.

So take some time out and compliment their good looks, their sense of neatness when you’re not around, or how much you appreciate them loving you. Also, you could try to have a date as often as you can just to make them feel special. Sometimes all they want from you is that little effort to show they’re loved. 

14. Advise him to get therapy

It’s advised to see a therapist whether you’re going through a bad time or not. So it would be good if you both consider therapy for his improvement. Talk to him about it and find a good counselor around if you can afford one. 

Even much better if he suggests seeing one. It means he’s ready to take a step forward for the good of the relationship. Your insecure partner or man may need a therapist especially if it’s getting out of hand.

15. Don’t make jokes about his insecurity

Joking about his flaws is not something you want to try with your insecure partner or man. It’s something he already feels uncomfortable about and you shouldn’t make it more awkward for him. 

Avoid talking about his insecurity in a mocking way either privately or publicly no matter how the situation may be. It would make things worse and could ruin the relationship. Even when other people do it in your presence, avoid laughing about it with them.

16. Be careful with your words

Your respect for him means a lot. Don’t use rude words or words you know could hurt him intentionally to get to him. If you’re in a heated argument, prove your point without using his insecurity against him. This doesn’t mean you’re patting his ego or making things suit him. It’s just respect.

After an argument, feel free to ask his opinion about any of your decisions; could be a business logo, an outfit for an occasion, or accessories to match an outfit. It would show you both have your indifferences but can still move on from them and it would help to make him feel less insecure 

17. Give him some time to improve

Everybody needs some time to readjust to any form of change especially when it has to do with coming to terms with some negative things and trying to solve them. So give your insecure man some time to come around.

He also needs some time to breathe and assimilate the changes he needs to embrace for the person he truly loves which is not easy. On your part, keep reminding him of how impressed you are with his level of progress and how fast he’s coming along. That would also help to hasten his success.

FAQs

How can insecurity ruin a marriage?

Insecurity can cause unhappiness and mistrust in a marriage. One or both partners feeling insecure in a relationship could cause a lack of solidity in their union. And a relationship based on constant mistrust and jealousy is most likely to end in a short while.

How do you deal with an insecure man?

Because he always feels he’s right about many things, try not to argue when he comes up with assumptions, rather, do more listening to avoid any fight or conflict between the two of you. That’s an important way to deal with an insecure man.

How do I know if my husband is insecure?

The signs are always there and they would always make you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. One of them would be his controlling behavior, to want to have a say on whatever you’re doing. Another could be his questioning behavior. No secure man can question your whereabouts or decisions.

Why am I so insecure in my marriage?

It could be random negative thoughts in your head about your relationship or your life in general, probably low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence. But whatever it could be, you need to face reality and deal with whatever is making you afraid of yourself. 

Why would a man hurt a woman he loves?

A man who hurts the woman he loves could simply be going through stress. And stress is of types; emotional, work, school, unemployment, or general life stress. He may not know how to communicate it to her for relief so he could unconsciously hurt her. 

To Conclude

It is possible to stay married and deal with an insecure person but you need to manage it in the best way you can. Remember to read the 17 ways I’ve mentioned to make things easier for you. Also, if you liked this article, don’t forget to drop a comment and share it with your loved ones.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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