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Traits Of A Bad Boyfriend (23 Signs You’ve Been Ignoring)

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you wondering whether your man is good boyfriend material?

It’s difficult to make an objective judgement on your romantic partner, when we’re feeling so many loving emotions towards them. 

But I’m here to help you do that.

Below, you’ll find a list of red flags which prove that a man would make a terrible boyfriend. 

Whether you’re already in a relationship with this guy or just considering it, I’d urge you to read this list of bad boyfriend traits - and avoid men that are showing too many of them. 

If you’re sick and tired of attracting bad guys and being ignored by good men, I’d urge you to read this guide about a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

In that guide, you’ll learn all about a primal trigger in a male’s mind, commonly called the Hero’s Instinct. 

You’ll also discover how I learned to manipulate this part of the male mind - and how it transformed my dating fortunes for the better. 

When a woman can understand how to work with a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’, she can release uncontrollable feelings of love and devotion within him. 

If she does this for long enough, he can quickly become OBSESSED or even ADDICTED to her, such is the intensity of these powerful emotions being released within him. 

You could call this a cheat code to the male mind. Very few women seem to be aware about this psychological trigger at this moment in time. So, I really want you to click to learn more about the incredible strength of the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.

Perhaps it could be that you’ve already attracted a great man to become your boyfriend. My list of red flags below will help you confirm that this is the case. Hopefully, your man isn’t showing too many of these traits.

Let’s find out if he does...

23 Traits Of A Bad Boyfriend You’ve Been Ignoring

1. He is more selfish than considerate

One of the most common traits of a bad boyfriend is selfishness which he wears like a badge of honor. He puts his interest ahead of anyone else’s and doesn’t care if he tramples over anybody’s feelings.

To him, that means he’s courageous enough to handle life his way but in reality, he is simply a selfish jerk crushing other people’s dreams. So, if your boyfriend is always fighting for his needs only and acts like he doesn’t care if yours are met too, you have a bad boyfriend situation on your hands. 

2. He gives excuses for being absent most of the time

To make a relationship work, the boyfriend has to be just as available as the girlfriend. However, that won’t be possible if you have a boyfriend who is always away with one excuse or the other.

For example, if your man is always standing you up on dates he had agreed to attend, and he never has a good reason for not showing up, he is a bad boyfriend.  If he then resorts to bribing you with gifts and flowers, instead of giving a valid explanation, this is a sign you don’t matter to him.

3. He doesn’t return your calls or texts on time

He doesn’t return your calls or texts on time

While it is true that boyfriends have lives they live outside of their relationships, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t give their women quality time despite their other activities. Regardless of how occupied a man is, he will still find time for the girl he’s in love with. 

However, when a man has the traits of a bad boyfriend, he will see nothing wrong in delaying returning your calls or text messages. If your boyfriend is always taking time with communicating with you and he doesn’t take any step towards adjusting his behavior, there’s a problem with the relationship 

4. He is too particular about his physical appearance

There is nothing wrong with a man taking care of the way he looks, being particular about what he wears or how he smells. Women love it when their men look impeccable. The problem occurs when he is too concerned with the way he looks than he is about his attitude towards you and other people. 

If he has terrible qualities and you’ve repeatedly called his attention to them but he doesn’t see anything wrong with his behavior, it is one of the warning signs telling you it’s time to move on.

5. He hardly shares in your joy

If your boyfriend is always eager to get into a fight with you more than he is willing to celebrate your wins, you are in a toxic relationship. No matter how much you pretend his love is enough, nothing will change for the better.

Before long, you’ll start feeling resentment instead of love and you’ll stop making the effort to be happy in the relationship. As such, before you completely let go of the ideas you have established to make yourself happy, you should consider letting go of the man himself. 

6. He usually tries to make you feel miserable

Some men are naturally miserable and their dispositions tend to rub off on the people they associate with. If you’re unfortunate enough to be in love with an unhappy man, his misery will affect you.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Some of the signs that will reveal his misery tendencies include; discontentment, perpetual sad eyes, and constant complaint. If you don’t break free from these traits of a bad boyfriend, he will suck you in with him. Most times, such men try to become better but the gloominess hovering over them is a part of their lives they can’t easily shed.

7. His jokes feel like intentional jibes at you

If your boyfriend makes you laugh, that’s awesome. However, if your boyfriend cracks jokes at your expense and laughs at you, that is an unhealthy thing to put up with. There is a difference between harmless and toxic jokes. The former offers you relief from stress but the former can make you feel low about yourself.

If you suspect that your boyfriend is deliberately trying to make you feel bad, it is one of many signs that he is a bad boyfriend for you and you need to stay away from him. 

8. He is a two-minute guy

Sex is a part of your love life that also gives you an idea of what your relationship is really like. If your boyfriend is a two-minute man with no care for whether the sex was good for you or not, he is a bad boyfriend. 

Being a two-minute man doesn’t necessarily mean your boyfriend has issues with prolonging sexual gratification, it could also mean he is always chasing after his pleasure only, thereby leaving you high and dry. In this situation, you may want to ask yourself, why keep having the experience with him if you won’t be enjoying the sex? 

9. He is never present with you

Do you usually feel like even when you are in the same room together he is so far away from you? Does his presence not make any difference as his absence? You’re experiencing first hand, the traits of a bad boyfriend who is there but not really with you.

You’re talking to him but his mind is buried in thoughts of distant things or he is too engrossed to put down his gadgets to talk with you. If you keep up with such a man, you’ll keep making mistakes you’ll regret down the road.

10. He is mostly indifferent to your plans

He is mostly indifferent to your plans

Girls in love are always eager to share their plans and goals with their men but if the boyfriends appear unenthusiastic about what she shares, her ego deflates. Rather than stay in a relationship with guys that will lower your self-esteem and make you lose confidence in your life goals, you should leave your bad boyfriend behind with his indifferent attitude. 

If you ignore the signs that suggest he will slow down your progress, you will regret tolerating his awful attitude to the extent of destroying your ambitions.

11. He is always needing a ‘timeout' from the relationship

Relationships are not TV shows where there is always a break in transmission due to adverts or technical issues. Even when there is a disagreement in relationships, couples should figure it out without staying giving each other too much distance.  

If your boyfriend is always asking for a timeout or a break at the sign of a little problem, he is giving you a hint of what a long-term relationship with him will be like.

12. He belittles your hurt feelings

To make a relationship work, your boyfriend doesn’t only sign up to like you wholeheartedly but to also be committed to securing your comfort, not hurt you. However, if he doesn’t honor his commitment to be your cheerleader on your bad days and he casts aside your hurt feelings, he is a bad boyfriend.

You would even notice that he is the cause of your hurt and he will brush it aside as a mistake. Yes, mistakes happen but, if something occurs too many times, it is no longer a mistake.

13. He still keeps in touch with his ex

Once a relationship is over there is no need for constant contact between both parties. However, if your boyfriend is still acting chummy with his ex and just keep telling you there’s nothing between them, don’t buy it.

Even if they are work buddies, there should still be a clear boundary restricting communication between them. Your boyfriend has no commitment to his ex and so, he has no business calling her late in the night or texting her at odd hours.

14. He talks at you, instead of with you

There’s something about communication; if you don’t do it well, there will only be noise and confusion. If your boyfriend has no interest in having reasonable discussions with you, there will always be disagreements because he doesn’t listen to you.

If he is also the type of man to push his opinion on you with no regard to your point of view, he is a very bad boyfriend who will make you feel small and incompetent. 

15. He makes secret phone calls and wipes chats

Like the ‘keeping in touch with his ex’ tip, if your boyfriend makes it a habit to end calls abruptly when you enter the room or wipe chats you’ve seen already, there is no doubt he is a bad boyfriend keeping secrets from you.

Regardless of how much you love him, if he cannot come clean with you when you confront him, there is no good thing left in your relationship. Your best option would be to go on with your life and find an honest man.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

16. He likes to control and manipulate you

Many girls fall prey to guys who camouflage their manipulative behavior as masculine confidence. Unfortunately, such girls would have gone too far with such a guy before they realize he has a dangerous control streak.

If you observe that your boyfriend is constantly keeping you on your toes because of the way he monitors and dictates the things you should do, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you are not careful, you will become a shadow of yourself while he continues to live his best life. 

17. He hit you once before

He hit you once before

One of the most glaring signs of a bad boyfriend is abusiveness. Does he hit you? Throw abusive slurs at you? Did he hit you just once and promises he won’t do that again? You can be sure he’ll most likely hit you again and again. 

Girls who fall for the lies of an abusive partner end up battling shame and anger at themselves for not leaving the crazy relationship early enough. Don’t become one of those girls. Seek help and find your way to freedom from his punches as soon as you can

18. He is an unrepentant alcoholic

Being in a relationship with a man struggling with alcohol or drug addiction is not a bad thing. The bad thing is staying as the girlfriend of a man unwilling to leave his addictions. 

As his girlfriend, you are expected to support and tolerate him even on his bad days. However, there’s only much you can do as his girl if he isn’t ready to walk through the tough terrain to be free from his addictions. It might not be his fault but, that doesn’t make him less of a bad boyfriend. 

19. He always wants to have his way

One of the things that won’t allow a relationship to work is an imbalance in efforts. If your boyfriend is always wanting to be right or have his way, regardless of your opinion, the relationship will crumble. 

Even if you try to manage such a relationship, you will be crushed alongside the failing relationship. Ask yourself, what are the chances that this man will change or someday listen to what I have to say? If the chances don’t look so good, you should leave him. 

20. His work is more important than you are

Sometimes, guys can become bad boyfriends due to their genuine commitment to worthy causes such as work. If your boyfriend is constantly absent due to work or other good causes and he doesn’t try to make it up to you, consider yourself single. 

This behavior does not make him a bad person but it qualifies him as a bad boyfriend. If he is genuinely in love with you, he will try to mend his ways when you inform him about how much his absence hurts you and the relationship. 

21. He creates a schedule for when you meet

If your boyfriend is so formal and strange as to create a schedule for when you both get to see him, you’ll agree that it’s a weird way to build a relationship. As funny as it seems, some guys draw up schedules for when they go on dates with their women or how many hours they spend with their better half. 

Even if he is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, a good boyfriend shouldn’t treat his girl or relationship like a business transaction. Love should include order but its manifestations are usually more spontaneous to allow complete order.

22. He is a bold liar

When you have a bold liar for a boyfriend it might be difficult to separate when he’s lying from when he is telling the truth because you would have caught him in too many lies than you can count on one hand. 

A bold liar will have an excuse for doing something wrong and he will develop a lie to cover up his actions without thinking too hard about it. If your boyfriend is a confident liar, you will find that he can easily turn the tables on you by putting you on the defensive side while he plays the victim.

23. His actions are unstable

The actions of a bad boyfriend are as unstable as his ever-changing words. His words will never align with the things he does and he will make you think you are the crazy one.

If you are in love with an unstable boyfriend, he will appear loving today that you would doubt he is the angry man you see tomorrow. You should leave him and his unstable life before he also throws your life into chaos.

FAQs

What are the signs of a bad boyfriend?

One of the signs of a bad boyfriend is unnecessary jealousy at your harmless gestures towards the opposite sex. When he sees you exchanging words with a male friend he assumes the worse and flies off the handle for no reason.

What are good traits in a boyfriend?

Some of the attributes of a good boyfriend are intentional care, deliberate attention, being present, listening to what his girl has to say, and the ability to forgive without reproach.

What are the signs of a dying relationship?

A dying relationship will lose valuable communication. Both parties will drift apart more emotionally than physically and at the end of the day, there will be little to nothing to salvage in the relationship. 

How do I know if he's good in bed?

He will understand your body and what it needs to respond to his touch. He won’t be in a hurry to reach the finish line because he will want you to get there with him.

What are the main qualities of love?

The main values of love include patience, kindness, tolerance, attention, proactive care and so much more.

In Summary 

There is no perfect boyfriend anywhere because we are all humans and our flaws will sometimes be more expressive than the things we get right. However, you don’t have to put up with someone, including the boyfriend you love, who is satisfied with exhibiting bad behaviors when he can work towards being a better person.

Has this article helped you gain a better understanding of this topic? Please leave a comment and also share the article with someone.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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