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What Do Guys Like in Bed? 42 Things They Like but Won't Ask For

April 9, 2024

It can take a lot of time to open up about what you’re into when it comes to the bedroom. Whether it’s a one-night stand, someone you’re casually hooking-up with or even in a long term relationship, everyones different and it’s not always easy to vocalize what you’re into. 

When it comes to sex and pleasure, we’re constantly learning. You can learn a lot from solo pleasure, and naturally your sexual knowledge will increase as time goes on. 

Even the most sexually experienced people are still missing a couple of tricks. What might feel amazing for one guy may feel totally different to another. 

Generally speaking there are a lot of things guys like in bed but won’t specifically ask for. 

Key Takeaways 

  • Sex is all about trial and error. You will never stop learning when it comes to sex and pleasure.  
  • Surprising your man in the bedroom can do wonders for your sex life. 
  • It’s important to take the time to pleasure your partner, as well as ensuring that you’re completely satisfied yourself. 

42 Things Guys Like in Bed but Won’t Ask For

What does a man want from a woman sexually? 

Honestly, it’s pretty impossible to tell. 

All men are different, and sometimes it really depends on the day. I mean, how many times have you had the best sexual encounter, yet when you go to recreate it it’s just not the same?

We’re constantly evolving sexually, and as much as it’s impossible to define exactly what men want from women sexually, there are a couple sex tricks to try to keep it interesting.  

1. Take complete control

Generally speaking, men are often the dominant partner in the bedroom. This isn’t always the case, but it is the stereotype.

A Cambridge University Press study explains “In men, high levels of endogenous testosterone (T) seem to encourage behavior intended to dominate.”

Try mixing things up, and you may be surprised to realize that your partner is excited by you taking complete control in the bedroom

2. Initiate sex 

Initiating sex is never a bad thing, and it will usually take your partner by surprise. 

Sometimes, we have sex because it’s expected. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true. It gets to bed time, you’re both snuggled up about to go to sleep and you may think ‘we’ve not done it for a while’, so you may as well while you have the opportunity. 

This is all well and good, I have absolutely nothing against having scheduled sex (in fact I think it can be great for a couples sex life), but I do believe that a bit of spontaneity never hurts anybody. 

Initiating sex may also feel sexier to your partner as he will get excited knowing that you’re already turned on. 

3. Spice things up

There are many ways to spice things up during sex. It may be by experimenting, wearing lingerie, setting the mood, mixing up locations, but it’s certainly key to taking your sex life to the next level. 

Also, taking the initiative to spice things up rather than expecting it of your partner is always a happy surprise. 

4. Try new sex positions

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the missionary position, but every now and again treat him to the 69 position, ride him, ask him for doggy. If you know his favorite position, get into it. 

It’s important to mix things up in order to make sure that your sex doesn’t feel boring and repetitive. 

Sexual positions

5. Be adventurous and surprise him

Men won’t ask for you to surprise them, so take the initiative and come on to him when it’s least expected. 

Consider having sex in a public place, or coming onto him in the kitchen whilst you’re making dinner together. You could even drive to a quiet spot and get frisky in the car. The unexpected is (almost) always hot, and will also allow you to take control. 

6. Send him dirty pictures or messages 

To be honest, it’s pretty likely that your partner has asked for you to send him nudes at least some point during your relationship. But, send them when he’s least expecting it to take him by surprise and get him excited for when he comes home. 

You could even sext, talk about all the things you intend to do to him later and I promise you that you’ll have the hottest sex when he gets home. 

7. Talk dirty

Talking dirty doesn’t have to feel difficult. People often feel embarrassed to give it a go, but actually it can turn good sex into great sex. 

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Sex is all about the vibe, and dirty talk may just be the answer to tipping him over the edge. 

8. Hold him close 

Men love physical contact as much as women do. Hold him close to you whilst you’re having sex to increase physical intimacy. 

9. Maintain eye contact 

There’s nothing sexier than eye contact during sex. It can feel easy to shy away, but actually maintaining eye contact will drive him crazy; it’s also a great sign of confidence, and what’s sexier than that?

10. Watch porn together 

Most people think porn is just for masturbation, but actually it can be a great way of spicing up your sex life.

It’s also an opportunity to be honest with your partner about each other's desires. Ask him to play you his favorite porn and have him watch as it turns you on. 

As much as porn can be pretty problematic, it’s really good for encouraging experimentation. You may browse through a couple of different videos to get some ideas on how to mix things up with your partner. 

11. Put on a show 

Put on your best lingerie and give him a show. If you’re a confident dancer, give him a lap dance, or even a strip tease. 

Spice things up and get him excited before you even touch him.

12. Communicate

Tell him what feels good and what doesn’t. Sometimes, anxiety can take over during sex if you don’t think your partner is having a good time. 

Be verbal and communicate throughout, this will benefit the both of you and will ultimately improve your sex life in the long run too. 

13. Wear his favorite perfume 

There’s nothing better than when you’re having sex with someone and they smell amazing. 

If you know he’s obsessed with your perfume, put it on before you get frisky and watch how much it can turn him on. 

14. Make the effort

I would 1000% recommend dressing up, putting on a bit of makeup and giving him something to get excited for. 

That’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re naturally beautiful, but it’s nice to go above and beyond and to make a bit of effort sometimes. 

15. Give him a massage 

Giving a massage is a huge turn on and is a great way to encourage sensual satisfaction. 

Light a candle, get your best massage oil out and slowly glide your hands all over his body. This is a great opportunity to engage his erogenous zones, and may even lead to sensual handjob to kick things off. 

16. Be direct 

A confident woman isn’t afraid to be direct and tell their partner exactly what it is that will most satisfy them. 

More often than not, men welcome guidance. They want to know that they’re satisfying you sexually in order to feel fully satisfied themselves, like I keep saying, good sex is all about the energy. 

17. Film a porno 

For your eyes only… or not 😉

It’s entirely up to you what you decide to do after you film yourselves having sex. I personally think it’s a great thing to look back on when you’re getting frisky next time, like it’s your own personal porno for yours and your partner’s eyes only.

Some people film having sex but choose to not watch it back. Whatever you would prefer, but believe me when I tell you how sexy it is when you’re having good sex and you whip out a camera. 

Side note, this must be fully consensual and you both have to agree before filming. You also both have to agree to whether or not you will show other people, and respect your partner's boundaries if he wishes for it to remain private. 

18. Show him your confidence

Confidence = sexy. Especially in the bedroom. 

19. Wear sexy lingerie 

Surprising him with a new lingerie set is guaranteed to get him in the mood. It also shows that you’ve made the effort, and that it’s all for him. 

But between me and you, I think wearing sexy lingerie does wonders for your own confidence and in turn may help with your own sexual satisfaction. 

Woman in sexy lingerie

20. Masturbate and let him watch 

If you’ve never tried mutual masturbation, I urge you to give it a go. 

I can’t explain it, but it’s personally one of my favorite things to do in the bedroom. Ultimately, no one is going to pleasure you like you can pleasure yourself. And you essentially have your own free porn, as you feel turned on watching your partner and in turn knowing that he’s watching you.

You could also take it one step further and masturbate whilst letting him watch, without letting him get involved. It’s very much a power play and will help him to practice restraint. That and it’s simply very sexy.

21. Anal

I don’t know why anal has such a stigma around it, anal sex is great. 

Some men don’t ask for anal as they expect to be rejected. But let me reassure you that anal can be very pleasurable if you put in the work and make sure you’re fully lubricated and relaxed. 

If your partner has always wanted to try performing anal sex on you, and until now you’ve been apprehensive, then it’s the perfect opportunity to spice things up. 

If you’re not completely comfortable with anal sex, you could start small with finger penetration, a rim job, or even using a butt-plug (another personal favorite of mine). 

22. Give his anus a little attention

Likewise, try giving his anus a little bit of love. 

23. Find his G-spot

The male G-spot is in their rectum (sometimes called the P-spot because of the prostate), so it’s completely natural that they would be turned on by anal penetration. Try slipping in a finger, or even suggesting taking things a little further… 

24. Peg him

Pegging is the act of penetrating your partner’s anus whilst wearing a strap-on dildo. 

Pegging can be sexy and highly pleasurable for both you and your partner, as we’ve already established the location of the male G-spot, and it’s a very dominating act to perform on your partner as a woman. 

You can also find strap-ons that stimulate your clitoris whilst you perform anal on him, meaning that you’re both likely to orgasm. 

It’s pretty unlikely that your partner would ask for you to peg him, as there is a big stigma around anal penetration being associated with homosexuality, and it is just not the case. It’s normal for a man to be curious about the pleasure he could receive from anal sex because his literal G-spot is in his ass. It doesn’t get any simpler, really. 

Unfortunately, unless you happen to have a strap-on dildo in your bedside drawer, this one requires a little bit of planning. However, planning may be what makes it all the more exciting. 

25. Engage his erogenous zones

According to The Human Andrology Journal , “Erogenous zones are parts of the body that excite sexual feelings when touched or stimulated. They may be genital or extragenital”.

Some erogenous zones in men are: the lips, nipples, inner thighs, buttocks, earlobes, the nape of the neck, and the perineum (the area between his anus and scrotum). 

Engaging his erogenous zones will heighten his sensitivity and induce pleasure. 

26. Buy new sex toys 

Take a trip to your local sex shop and come home with a bag full of new toys to try. 

Show him that you’re wanting to mix things up sexually and watch him get excited as he learns of your desires. 

27. Try BDSM

Bondage is a great introduction to BDSM. You can mix it up with the power dynamic. If your partner is typically dominant in the bedroom, allow him to play the submissive role and vice versa. 

A personal favorite of mine is mattress restraints. You place them underneath your mattress and then have cuffs at the ready of all four corners of the bed. Then you can use them at your own will and don’t have to deal with the setup when deciding to try BDSM.

28. Role play 

Indulge his fantasies and role play his favorites roles. If he’s into fantasy, consider buying cosplay, or if he has a thing for nurses, dress up as a slutty nurse. 

This will get the both of you excited and will ultimately make things feel more exciting in the bedroom. 

29. Use a butt plug

I know we’ve already touched upon buying new sex toys, but there are some toys that deserve their own point. 

We know that the male G-spot is in the rectum, so indulge him and purchase a butt plug for him to use. For selfish reasons I would also recommend that you give one a go yourself too. 

30. Anal beads

I once entered my local Ann Summers store and was advised by an employee that anal beads are the best sex toys to induce a powerful orgasm for men. 

Her advice was to place the anal beads in his rectum, and to yank them out really fast in order to send him over the edge. Unfortunately, I didn’t ever get to give this one a go (it’s still on my to-do list). But anal beads can be a great toy to get your man excited and show him that you care about him reaching an intense climax. 

31. Make the effort 

I’m not talking about hair and makeup this time.

Now I’m not looking at anyone in particular, because I’m sure we’ve all acted as a pillow princess every now and again. 

But, if you really want to spice things up, take full control and allow your partner to be the pillow princess every once in a while. 

32. Moan for him 

Show him how much he gets you going. 

33. Never neglect his balls 

Don’t forget to pay his balls a little attention. 

Try gently massaging his scrotum whilst performing a blow job on him and watch as he quickly reaches climax.

34. Compliment him 

The same way you should guide him, you should also tell him what he’s doing right. 

Tell him that he’s sexy, that he turns you on, that you think he’s attractive; be a little loving and give him compliments. 

Couples happy in bed

35. Give him more oral sex 

Some men are happy asking for more oral sex whilst some feel awkward. 

If your partner isn’t asking for anything in the bedroom, I can almost guarantee you that this would be at the top of his list. 

36. Be romantic 

Men love romance as much as women do. 

Being romantic in the bedroom is a crucial aspect of building the energy and creating a good vibe. Sometimes, rough sex is the way to go, but it’s also nice to take it slow and be sensual with your partner. 

37. Have a threesome 

Deciding to have a threesome can be a difficult choice. 

For some couples it’s not always the right way to go, but for others it can do wonders for their relationship. Have a conversation with your partner about whether or not it’s definitely right for you as a couple. 

But if you’re both into the idea of a threesome and you know this is something that he’s been wanting for a while, then why not indulge him. 

38. Fulfill his fantasies 

Ask him exactly what he desires and fulfill his fantasies. 

You may realize that you’ve both been fantasizing the same thing but have been too scared to tell the other. Be open about your sexual needs and watch how it can improve your sex life. 

39. Wake him up with a blowjob

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the term ‘morning glory’. It’s essentially when a man wakes up with a hard-on. 

There’s nothing sexier than waking your man up with a blowjob. It will certainly kick off a good start to the day. 

40. Surprise him with a quickie 

Quickies are great, and usually unexpected. 

If you’re already late for your dinner date, why not delay for another 5/10 minutes and have a hot quickie before your taxi arrives. 

41. Swallow

I have no shame in telling you I’m not a swallower, and to be completely honest I’m not exactly sure why some men love it when you swallow. I assume it’s just a nice way to finish off a good blowjob.

If unlike me you’re able to fulfill this desire, then it will certainly win you some brownie points and cause him enhanced sexual satisfaction.

42. Be gentle after he reaches climax 

Have you ever noticed how relaxed your man is after he reaches climax? Chemicals released after climax (prolactin, oxytocin and vasopressin) induce men to feel sleepy and relaxed. 

Give him a cuddle and wind down with him in order to make him feel fully satisfied sexually. 


What does a man want from a woman sexually?

It’s incredibly difficult to answer this question as everyone is different. Generally speaking, a man wants a woman who makes the effort. 

If you’re willing to try new things, want to pleasure your man and in turn communicate on how you want him to pleasure you then you’re off to a pretty good start. Don’t become complacent in the bedroom and always allow yourselves the time to work on your sex life together. 

Sex is an important part in any relationship and it’s important that you take this time to indulge one another. 

How to make your man happy in bed?

There are lots of things you can do to make your man happy in the bedroom. It’s always a good idea to focus on his pleasure, and to mix things up. Switch up your roles and dominate him every now and again, indulge him with a massage, perform oral sex on him and ultimately make sure that you’re both sexually satisfied in the bedroom. 

What do guys hate during sex?

Again, it’s hard to answer as everyone is different. But generally speaking here are a couple of things that men hate during sex: a toothy blowjob, when you grip his penis too hard, feeling incompetent, not having enough foreplay, if you’re too loud, and if you’re faking it.

I’m sure there are many things that guys hate during sex, some things will bother some men more than others. Ultimately, the best way to find out is to ask him. 


Satisfying your man in the bedroom will ultimately improve your sex life. Great sex is all about the energy you put into it, and there’s nothing better than when you’re both fully fulfilled. 

Surprising your partner with things he wouldn’t particularly ask for shows him your willingness to improve your sex life, and should, in turn, encourage him to do more in order to fully pleasure you. 

Every now and again, it’s nice to treat your partner. You don’t always have to both receive pleasure. Try spending the time satisfying him and feel confident knowing that you’ve done a good job.

You may also find that this influx in experimentation will encourage him to be more open and communicate about what he actually wants in the bedroom; I encourage you to do the same. 

We’re constantly evolving and learning sexually and it’s important to make the effort in order to keep the spark alive in your relationship. 

If you have any further tips to satisfy a man with something he may not particularly ask for, please comment and indulge us. As always, share with a friend in need of some sex tricks to keep him interested.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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