Let’s face it. We all have pet peeves. For example, the annoying way that he doesn’t clean out his car. Or the way he never wipes the sink off after brushing his teeth. How about the way she leaves clothes all over the bathroom floor?
Some of them are deal-breakers. Usually, we can adjust to and accommodate small pet peeves, or just take care of it ourselves. There are some surprisingly common pet peeves in relationships and some that will make you laugh out loud.
We all have them. Everyone has at least one thing that gets on their nerves. The further your relationship progresses, the more you’re going to learn about your partner and just how much they annoy you.
Sometimes, a pet peeve is a deal-breaker. Other times, you adjust and learn to ignore it, or at least some healthy coping skills to deal with how annoyed you are. If you’re not genuinely upset by it, it can be best to just pick your battles in the relationship.
However, there are so many pet peeves that there are threads on threads of readers sharing their pet peeves about their spouse. So, if you read this list and wind up nodding your head to a few of them, you can trust that you’re not alone.
Table of Contents
There’s nothing more annoying than the giant blob of toothpaste that gets left in the sink after someone is done brushing their teeth. Some people wipe it up or rinse it down the drain when they are done. Others see no problem leaving it for their partner. Annoying? Definitely. A deal-breaker? Probably not.
This is not just a pet peeve in relationships. It’s a common pet peeve in friendships as well. Men complain more about their girlfriend being on their phone when they are spending time together than women do, but this one goes both ways. When a person wants to spend time with another, they don’t want to watch them play on their phone. Over time, this pet peeve can kill a relationship.
Some couples choose to implement a rule that they don’t use their phones at dinner time. Others might simply not use their phones when they are on a date. Communication is key to finding a compromise that works for both people.
It’s irritating when your girlfriend or boyfriend simply plops their dishes in the sink, leaving you to scrub them off. You can have a discussion about it. You can also leave them to soak, which makes it a breeze to wash them.
This can be one of the biggest pet peeves that a couple has. In fact, it can destroy a relationship if couples let it. Whether or not that is a possibility depends on how different a person’s views are from their partner. Some couples opt to not discuss certain topics because it’s the only way that they can make their relationship work.
Women aren’t the only ones that notice this, though. Guys complain that one of their relationship pet peeves is when their girlfriend acts differently at home than she does around friends or family too. Most people complain, get annoyed, and learn to deal with this one. For some people, it’s definitely a deal-breaker.
Some people don’t mind catering to their girlfriend or boyfriend. Other people do. It can get pretty annoying when a person refuses to cook so you wind up paying for expensive fast food daily, however.
This is one of the biggest pet peeves among people that keep a tidy house and car. Some people can’t handle the clutter, but others simply choose to take their own car.
These are typically deal breakers for a relationship if it makes it from dating to relationship status. I’m a smoker and had one guy that was obviously annoyed by the smoking but put up with it. I’ve met other men that simply can’t do it. It depends on the person.
You can’t really hate a man for his laugh because it’s not his fault. However, some men have an annoying, high-pitched laugh that is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. If your partner has an irritating laugh, you understand why this made it onto the list.
Some people can give chance after chance in a relationship with a cheater. Some people even understand relationships that involve cheating. For others, it’s one of their biggest pet peeves in relationships.
When you’re together, and working as a team, it can be frustrating that you’re motivated to do things but your partner keeps putting them off. In the long run, it can lead to problems in the relationship if one person ends up doing most of the work. Procrastinating can lead to nagging, which is another one of the most common pet peeves in relationships.
There are so many memes about women not being able to decide where to eat that most people don’t realize this is one of the most common pet peeves in relationships. As an adult, you should not be depending on anyone else to make your life decisions for you.
There’s having video games as a hobby, and then there are people that do nothing but work and play video games. Usually, the latter one will fall into the category of pet peeves in relationships.
A little bit of competition is nice at board games. This is only fun when both people are competitive, though. When only one person is, it turns into another of their pet peeves in relationships.
This is one of those pet peeves that go hand in hand with a few others. Typically, one person procrastinates while the other person starts nagging. Over time, this can send a relationship downhill. Instead, check out these tips to reduce the nagging in your relationship.
I have a bad habit of doing this. As soon as I sit down, I kick my shoes off. Wherever they land is where they stay. It’s definitely been one of the pet peeves in relationships I have had.
Not only is this one of the pet peeves in relationships, but it also teaches one partner that they cannot depend on the other. Breaking promises kills trust, which is essential for a healthy relationship.
This doesn’t make you distrust your man quite like breaking promises does. It does teach you that can’t depend on him though. In a marriage, two people should work together as a team. When one person is not reliable in the partnership, it can slowly build resentment.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Bad table manners definitely have a place on the list. Chewing with your mouth open shows everyone else at the table your nasty chewed-up food. This is a pet peeve in relationships, friendships, and with a lot of people that are out to eat at the same restaurant with someone that does this.
Dishonesty is a pet peeve in relationships that both men and women have. Some people do not see a problem with tiny white lies. Others feel that not telling the whole truth is a lie, and they put that in the same category as being dishonest. Having honest and open communication with your partner is essential for having a healthy relationship.
This is one of the pet peeves that some people can overlook. That still doesn’t make you any less embarrassed when you’re apologizing for your significant other, though!
I used to have a boyfriend like this, and it was infuriating. I could tell exactly what he did in the kitchen by the mess he left behind.
For example, let’s say he made kool-aid. The empty packets would be on the counter. They were usually sitting right next to a trail of slightly spilled sugar that did not make it into the pitcher. Following that would be a few drops of kool-aid that spilled out while stirring. It is the exact same as following after a six-year-old and picking up after them.
The worse thing was that it never changed. No amount of nagging or asking would get it cleaned up. No amount of teaching could help him understand that cleaning up while making something is the way to go. I’m so glad we broke up.
Bad manners might be anything from not saying please and thank you to putting elbows on the table. Some people can overlook this, and group it with the pet peeves in relationships that are just minor annoyances. Other people have a hard time not saying anything about a person that has bad manners.
This is one of the minor annoyances that most people find themselves compromising on. However, it usually means making two separate meals. If he hates broccoli, you’ll have to add that separately to your own dinner.
When you care about someone else’s health, it can be hard to watch them make decisions that you don’t think are in their best interest. The main problem with this is the nagging that tends to come with watching your husband refuse to go to the doctor.
You say you don’t like talking on the phone, and he still insists on calling you all day long. It’s like the other person doesn’t even hear you say that you prefer texting. Then, when you don’t answer the phone they wonder why you aren’t talking to them on the phone. It’s at the top of the list of relationship annoyances!
Texting is better than talking on the phone for most people today, but that doesn’t mean that we have time to text all day either. We all have lives outside of our relationships. (In fact, it’s actually healthy for a couple to have their own hobbies.)
If you like Chinese food, they love it. You hate Mexican food and they think it’s disgusting too. It seems like any views you have, they have the same ones. It can be extremely frustrating when you’re trying to get to know a man, not to mention boring.
When a couple has different food tastes, it can lead to a man and his wife never agreeing on a restaurant. Cooking separate meals usually follows. Usually, a couple can survive pet peeves in relationships like this one.
Either they drive so slow and careful it’s painful to sit in the passenger seat or so reckless you get whiplash going around a turn. Next time you’re going somewhere, offer to drive.
This isn’t one of the most common pet peeves in relationships, but it still made it to the list. How much you enjoy music usually can tell you how much this one is going to irritate you when you’re a couple in the future.
Not only is this something that will get on your nerves, but it can also be abusive. Make sure that your partner doesn’t cross the line into the abusive territory and keep an eye out for red flags.
If you want to get with them, you have to get with their friends! We all remember the days of the Spice Girls, but today is a bit different! When you realize that you don’t have to spend every waking moment together just because you’re a couple, you also realize you can be really busy when they have annoying friends over.
We can all have different views on things. If a couple feels very strongly about their views, it can be helpful to teach one another that it’s okay to agree to disagree on things. If not, those different views can put a gap in your relationship.
We have all said nothing is wrong when it’s perfectly clear that something is wrong. It can be annoying when you’re on the other side trying to figure out what is wrong with someone, though.
We all need personal space! Some people simply don’t share those same views, though.
While this is a common pet peeve, it’s important to note that being emotionally supportive of your partner comes with being in a relationship. However, if your partner feels the need to vent every single day for hours, maybe they could call a friend. It’s a problem when they aren’t emotionally supportive of you too, though.
As long as there have been toilet seats, women have been annoyed at men leaving them up.
Having to put on a full face of makeup for a quick run to the gas station can be a bit much.
Gossip while you’re at lunch with your girlfriends if it drives your man crazy. Men, by nature, just don’t seem to gossip as much as women.
No one likes listening to people complain all the time. Every cloud has a silver lining.
If you’re an adult and don’t bathe regularly, it’s time to get on track. However, those of us that have different views on what constitutes poor hygiene can constantly annoy each other.
Oversharing with the in-laws is a big no-no in a relationship, but when you’re dating someone heavily enmeshed with their family it’s bound to happen. Over and over. You can’t help but roll your eyes at it sometimes.
Trying to pressure you into marriage is annoying. Constantly hinting about it when they know that you do not want to get married can grate on your last nerve.
This goes along with calling constantly. Some of us would just rather get a text we can look at really quick instead of having to receive a voicemail.
Consideration goes a long way. However, we can all have our selfish moments. Know that we all have those moods doesn’t make them any less irritating.
Cocky people can just be irritating when you’re around them all day because you’re in a relationship with them.
It seems like you’re always putting out one fire or waiting on the next one to explode.
This can be a huge sign of jealousy and insecurity, neither of which are attractive in relationships.
None of us signed up for a relationship with the thought of being a maid in mind. Keep in mind that there’s a difference between having to put the toilet seat down and having to pick up after them when they do almost anything.
It takes two people to make a relationship work, so most problems are usually both people’s fault as well. Some people have different views on that.
It’s not just annoying, it’s wasteful spending.
The immature jokes and comments get maddening when you’re right next to the person you’re in a relationship with all day. Make sure to carve out some time for yourself if this is one of your pet peeves in relationships.
Everything is always about looks or materialistic things. If this is one of your pet peeves in relationships, and your partner is superficial, it will get hard to brush off as time goes on.
This is one of my personal pet peeves too. Money is important, but it’s not everything. There really are some things that money can’t buy.
There are so many interesting topics you can discuss! If this is one of your pet peeves, it’s best just to respond with something interesting to get the conversation flowing.
If a person oversharing is one of your pet peeves, you can add this one to the list as well. There are some things that should be kept private. It can be bothersome when you find out that your partner posted what you were doing, how you felt, or other intimate details on Facebook.
Guys usually have a problem with this more than girls do, but that doesn’t make it any less irritating for some women too. If this is one of your pet peeves in a relationship, you can trust that you’re not alone. In fact, it’s one of the things that men think is annoying about women. To compromise, consider limiting selfies with your partner, and encourage them to have fun with new filters on their own.
Sometimes, the past needs to stay in the past. However, if there are children involved, that’s a different story. Children thrive in situations when their biological parents are able to both get along and co-parent. You also need to keep an eye if your partner has a problem with you being friends with your child’s other parent. This can stem from jealousy or insecurity issues.
Every couple is different, so it isn’t really fair to compare one couple to another one. This typically comes up when one person points out another’s flaws or something that they want. For example, Ashley’s boyfriend buys her flowers as an apology. We all do things in our own ways.
There’s nothing like the awkward silence of anger for days on end to irritate you more. If your partner is known for the silent treatment, it’s time to have a conversation about it. First, look at why they are giving you the silent treatment. A lot of people are quiet until they feel that they are calm enough to discuss things. This helps them think logically and avoid arguments.
On the other end of that spectrum are people that use the silent treatment as abuse, especially if they know that it is one of your pet peeves. Instead of using it as a tool to be effective when communicating, they intentionally do it to control your emotions. If you frequently give into them when they use the silent treatment, they might be using it to get what they want. There’s nothing good about that either.
This usually falls into the category of pet peeves that involves being on your phone too much.
Speaking of being on your phone a lot, it can be considered rude to be glued to the screen while you’re out to dinner. You’re there to spend time with each other, not the group chat. It can be frustrating if one person is trying to enjoy quality time together and the other one is just not feeling it.
One-word answers can make you cringe. After a while, your back definitely starts to hurt from carrying the weight of every conversation.
This can be a sign of immaturity, but it can also be a sign that someone is just selfish.
Staring is enough to drive some people crazy.
It’s like someone constantly watching your every move. No one likes being in the spotlight all the time.
If you can tell what someone is eating by the noise they make when they chew, it’s too loud.
Some people are definitely more productive than others. In fact, this is one of the most common pet peeves that people complain about if they are extremely active, and have a partner that isn’t.
Being lazy can also include things like not picking up clothes off the floor, not making your own food, and just generally not doing things.
This noise can enrage the calmest people if it’s one of their pet peeves.
There’s nothing quite like rewinding a movie to re-watch a spot you couldn’t hear because someone else was talking.
If you tend to walk fast, it actually makes sense that someone who walks slowly would drive you insane.
There’s a time for being needy and clingy, like when you’re sick or sad. Too much of one person being needy can make the other person feel like they suddenly have a siamese twin. Remember, it’s always healthy to do your own thing.
Literally, this is literally one of the most common pet peeves. Literally.
Public displays of affection are not for everyone, especially if you’re not in high school anymore. Holding hands is one thing. Making out is inappropriate in certain settings.
Spewing your germs everywhere is just not cute. It’s pretty gross for everyone around.
Even if you say no offense, it doesn’t make it any less offensive. The statement is still rude. Unfortunately, this is something a lot of us tend to do regularly.
While half of us won’t hesitate to toss a cup out of the window, the other half can’t help but wince because it’s bad for the planet. Depending on how strongly a person feels about this, it could lead to lifelong arguments.
No one likes arrogance all the time.
You went on vacation? They went on a better one. Have a bad day? There’s was worse. After so much of this, you don’t even want to talk to a person anymore.
This is awkward for everyone involved, and the people around them.
Nothing compares to being intentionally ignored.
This is one of those pet peeves that some care about, and some don’t. If your partner cares, try saying excuse me afterward. At least you’ll be able to claim that you have good manners when they glare at you!
There is a time and a place for off-color jokes. When one person doesn’t understand that it’s time to be serious, it can be embarrassing.
It can lead to not even communicating with each other. This can quickly kill a relationship.
It’s time to realize that you’re an adult, bro.
If you have different eating habits, it can be hard dealing with someone constantly nagging you about what you do, or don’t eat. Sometimes, you have to accept each other’s differences.
We all have our own voice, and there’s nothing wrong with you using it.
Sometimes, it’s not using social media for validation. It might not even be your in-laws. Instead, they seem to share everything with every person they come in contact with.
Maybe it’s best if the two of you just don’t shop together? Not everyone can be in and out of a store in a matter of minutes.
In a healthy relationship, you should not have to use ultimatums to accomplish things. This can be controlling, and make the other person feel like you’re trying to control them.
No one likes getting excited about a nice, hot shower only to find out that there isn’t any hot water. It seems like you’re stuck waiting for an eternity while the water heats up again.
Gross. It can make people wonder if you even wash your hands. Pick up a manicure kit to keep yourself looking clean cut.
Common pet peeves include being rude, not listening, and being controlling. Bad table manners and excessive phone use are close seconds on the list. Eating habits, not putting the toilet seat down, oversharing about the relationship, and taking too many selfies are other common pet peeves.
There are some pet peeves that most people find unbelievably irritating. Aggressively interrupting, chewing loudly, smoking around non-smokers, scuffing your shoes when walking, and constantly complaining are all on the list. Bad table manners, being inconsiderate, and not washing hands after going to the bathroom are also the worst.
Yes, they can. If you feel strongly enough about something, you might have a hard time dealing with it on a regular basis. Small pet peeves, like a man leaving the seat up, might not be as big of a deal. Remember, communicating and compromising are important to a lasting relationship.
Yes, everyone has one or two. However, some people will claim that they don’t because they don’t realize they have one. Instead of thinking of hating someone chewing loudly as a pet peeve, you might think of it as a person simply having bad manners, which is typically considered very rude.
Peeve comes from the word peevish, which is a word that means easily irritated. The pet in pet peeve is because people tend to nurture their own pet peeves without realizing it. They can’t help but be annoyed and/or complain about them, which just makes them worse.
We all have pet peeves, especially in our relationships. What are some of your biggest pet peeves in relationships? What are some of the ones that are definite deal breakers for you?
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!