While women seem to be known for nagging, there is such a thing as him being the spouse that won’t stop nagging. These guys don’t just make a polite request. They make it over and over again. It can easily build resentment in your relationship.
Yes, nagging can ruin your relationship. One party will nag, and often get ignored. This creates a vicious cycle. The man that chooses to nag will feel ignored, be irritated about tasks that do not get done, such as the dishes, and will slowly become more annoyed.
The wife that has to deal with the nagging will likely stop doing anything because it feels as though the things she does are not enough, and she’ll become annoyed with the nagging partner.
As this cycle continues, it can and will breed resentment between the two. Arguments will slowly transform into why someone won’t stop nagging as underlying issues get left unresolved. Effective communication stops because both are annoyed with the other spouse. However, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Most people don’t realize that this is killing their relationship until the relationship begins to seriously struggle. At this point, a couple will see it before them. They’ll realize they are no longer having fun as a couple. If you realized it before this point, great job. If not, it’s not too late. These nine tactics will help you stop the constant pestering.
Your mate might make a comment about your parenting style or request that you pick up your clothing, and you in turn may feel hurt or offended. This can result in you trying to point out tasks that they don’t do, etc. It only makes things worse. Instead, it’s important to resist the urge when you feel defensiveness rising within you.
This will ruin a marriage because of the feelings of resentment and anger that build over it. Instead of giving it the chance to destroy your marriage, make sure that you try to soothe yourself as much as possible.
Find a healthy release for those emotions if you need to. When you don’t respond or think from an emotional point of view, it can make your life, and marriage, much more enjoyable.
There’s a reason that you instantly feel frustration when your spouse makes a request. If them asking you to pick up your clothes is an instant trigger, something is going on. Are they making constant requests so you feel that’s all you hear? Have you had a previous experience, and your partner is reminding you of that?
This isn’t always the case, but it’s worth considering that there might be an underlying issue that needs to be resolved. This could be a past experience or something with your current partner.
While you might be perfectly aware of the amount of time your spouse spends asking you to do things, he might not realize it. To him, asking a mate to do their part might involve asking for the same thing to get done several times.
Men don’t instantly know how women feel, so it’s important to share that with them. If he knows that hearing him nag is what’s bothering you, it might help the situation.
If you barely nod your head when he asks for something, he might not realize that you heard him. If you say you’ll do something but don’t, he might think he needs to remind you or ask you again.
Pay attention to your response to help solve the issue. Make sure that you acknowledge what was said. Then, if he asked you to do something, tell him when you will do it. If it’s the criticism that you don’t agree with, such as what you’re wearing, have a discussion about that. Couples that communicate create relationships that last.
Another common reason that a marriage will end is because of miscommunication, such as one person not listening to the other person. When we hear someone ask to do chores or complain about other people not doing their share around the house, what they are truly saying is that they need help. They feel overwhelmed trying to do everything by themselves.
When they complain about clutter, they are saying that too much mess makes them feel internal chaos. They are reaching out to you.
When we speak to others, we don’t always realize how we come off. We also don’t realize that the other person might not understand what we’re saying. Of course, when your partner yells about more dishes being dirty we aren’t going to instantly understand that they mean they would like for us to do our part around the house.
For example, if he says you don’t do your part around the house, ask him how you can help out. Make sure he’s not the only one cleaning or the only one doing the laundry. When you make an agreement and stick to it, the constant complaining will slowly begin to stop.
This is by far the most effective way to do your share, and stop the way that your spouse feels the need to give constant reminders. Tell them you’ll do what they asked, and when you’ll do it. For example, say that you’ll do the dinner dishes before going to bed. Then, actually do it. They have no reason to continue to bother you about it.
Keep in mind that not asking you to do something repeatedly will be hard for them, too. This behavioral pattern is coming from both of you, and they’ll need to learn to trust you to accomplish tasks on your own just as you’ll need to learn to start following through. It took two to create this situation, and it will take work from both of you to fix it.
Asking someone for advice is a great route to take. Some therapists specialize in couples counseling. Those that don’t can still help you learn some great ways to address this conflict with one another. A counselor can provide an all-inclusive response to the situation, such as teaching you how to handle corrective criticism.
Helping your partner learn that they don’t have to be the one to do all of the grocery shopping and helping you function as one team instead of being against each other are other things you two can work on.
Break the behavioral cycle. Start doing more that they ask, as your share of housework. Tell them when you will do tasks so your spouse doesn’t feel the need to keep asking. Respond in a way that is not defensive to work towards establishing healthy communication patterns in your marriage.
A spouse will nag their wife because they want something done. Either this has been effective with their wife based on previous experience, or they don’t know how to get their wife to do something. Unfortunately, it usually results in a spouse just nagging more and more until someone breaks the cycle.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
A partner with a healthy respect for both marriage and you. He treats you more with kindness and love than anything else. He believes you should communicate with each other. A guy will spend more time with you and your children than he does away from the home. He is supportive and protective.
They want to hear more compliments. Tell them how much you love them, appreciate them, and never want the relationship to end. Compliment him when he fixes stuff, spends more time with the kids (“you’re a great father”), or puts an end to a habit you don’t like.
This and criticism are quick ways to get a relationship to end. Asking someone to pick up their clothes daily or offering some corrective criticism can quickly create a dynamic that resembles a parent/child relationship, hence why the person being nagged will procrastinate and refuse to do things.
I used to be the one that was giving constant reminders and felt that I had to do everything myself in a previous relationship until I learned these tips. What advice would you give to someone else?
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.
Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!