In the early weeks of any relationship, both parties are probably still in the ‘getting to know each other stage’. Of course, as society would have it, neither the lady nor the man will reveal all their cards just yet.
As ladies, we want to appear put together, clean, mysterious, and still a bit sassy. And your man is probably cleaning his space more regularly just to keep up appearances.
Now, according to research, the average couple gets into the ‘comfort phase’ after being in a relationship for about 12 months. That stage where there’s no point wearing makeup because he already knows you in and out. You can both talk for hours without filters, because there’s little to no judgment or holding back.
You fart in his presence, leave the toilet door open, do each other’s laundry and talk about everything. The truth is, your relationship may not have hit the one-year mark. But you feel so much freedom with your partner.
Now you’re wondering, have we hit the comfort zone yet?
That’s an excellent question to ask because most relationships that reach this stage will most likely last longer. However, it can also be an important wake-up call to rekindle the fire for many. So without further ado, let me take you through 31 signs your relationship has reached the comfort zone.
Using the toilet without locking the door is either a good sign of a strong relationship or a violation. In the first few weeks, both parties obviously feel more uncomfortable talking about anything that pertains to doing the number one or two. Of course, some couples like to break the ice almost immediately to ease the tension.
However, if both of you have been more coy than open from the beginning, crossing that line may be one of the key signs of being too comfortable.
Talking about past relationships is usually off the table for many couples. It’s just weird discussing past flames when you could be focusing on the future. Plus, no one really wants to talk about why a past relationship failed or who dumped who.
So when you find yourselves freely talking about exes without any fear of judgment, you may have delved into your comfort zone. Besides, if you or your partner are constantly reminiscing, comparing, and discussing past relationships, that means something is off. You’re probably not spending enough time making new memories and enjoying each other’s company.
Some guys have absolutely no shame when it comes to farting in front of a partner. A lot of ladies use this as an icebreaker as well. However, if we are being honest, it’s the one thing couples keep off-limits. Even in a marriage, some ladies feel better going to the toilet to let the stinker out before rejoining their spouse.
Of course, if you are too shy about letting things out in front of your spouse, that’s not necessarily a good thing. Both parties should feel at ease in each other’s presence and there should be less pretense. However, if it becomes a rampant, unconscious act, then it’s important to draw the line at some point.
If there’s one thing many ladies dread, it’s shave day. Yes, that day you have to roll up those sleeves and get your shaving routine going on. Some people don’t mind letting their bush flourish for a while, especially when there’s no man in the picture. However, once you start dating again, it’s only sensible to ensure everything is at least well-trimmed.
So, if you feel free letting the bush grow over time without taking care of business, that’s one of the key signs things are getting too comfortable. In a relationship, both parties have to keep putting in effort when it comes to personal hygiene and appearances. Plus, it’s a turn-on when your partner knows you’re still trying to look sexy for him.
Many ladies dread meeting the family, simply because of the awkwardness. However, it’s safe to say that one has truly not settled in the relationship comfort zone without getting properly acquainted with the family. You know all their nicknames, habits, and you’re even part of the get-togethers and vacations.
On the other hand, it can become a bit negative if you’re around so much, that his family starts seeing you as part of the gang. You are almost considered a sibling and not a wife or girlfriend. Boundaries can easily be crossed at this point so it’s important to be careful.
When you are spending a lot of time with a loved one, you’re very much in sync. The intimacy, chemistry, and emotional intelligence shared practically becomes some kind of energy field. So, even when you’re in public, you know your partner so well his sentences are so predictable. When they ask him a question, you can confidently answer and vice versa.
That just shows how much you have bonded and gotten to know each other. However, it’s important not to overdo it. Respect him enough to let him have a nice conversation without butting in every five seconds.
It’s one thing to leave the toilet or bathroom door open, and another to be in the toilet together. When your partner is taking a dump, are you comfortable sticking around for a nice chat? Then you’re probably in the comfort zone. If you both feel free being in the same toilet while one person is going at it, then certainly crossed through the awkward stage.
When you start taking each other for granted, it could detract from a relationship lasting longer. Maybe when you started dating, you catered to his every need, picked out his clothes, cooked, and the likes. However, at this point, you could care less. Not because you don’t love him, but you’ve got the guy and feel so secure that doing those things isn’t a priority anymore.
I know we have talked about pooping and farting in front of your partner, but that’s just part of the bigger problem. Relationships are meant to bring two people together. Sometimes, that means getting to know each other enough, that you can be yourself without filters. However, how much is too much?
Should you pick your nose, teeth, eyes, or ears around them? Do you burp after drinking a can of soda? Or do you feel free enough to do anything and everything around your partner? Remember, manners still matter, maintaining them means you’re still respectful and mindful of your partner’s thoughts and opinions.
Women fear the thought of giving too much information when it comes to periods and the likes. Some prefer to keep their business private, especially at the initial stage of the relationship. However, if you feel free talking about PMS, period pains, tampons, menstrual cups, and the likes, then you’ve hit the comfort zone.
If there’s one thing ladies have mastered, it’s being very prim and proper when it comes to food. You don’t want to eat too much, and you certainly don’t want to be messy. That makes you more conscious around a significant other, even months/years into the relationship. In this case, if you have thrown all caution to the wind, and don’t mind eating normally, that’s another sign.
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It’s one thing to eat casually, and another to get comfortable sucking on the bones, scraping the plate, and licking your fingers! If he’s doing the same, then your relationship is in the comfort zone, and will probably last a long time.
Have you ever reached out to clean the sweat off your partner’s face? Or if there was a booger in his nose, would you take it out? If you feel free enough to take the dirt out of his eyes or help clean his ears and the likes, you’re probably more comfortable than you think.
He’s putting on your slippers, wearing your baggy shorts, and walking around in your sweaters. You have taken over most of his hoodies, and of course, all his big t-shirts are yours. If this is the case, then both of you have certainly bonded and hit the comfort zone. However, getting too comfortable may be a turn-off in the long run.
Wearing each other’s clothes shouldn’t be a regular phenomenon. It’s important to keep things spicy and dress in more sexy and alluring outfits more often. When he does see you in his clothes, it should be a delightful surprise.
It can get a bit draining when you’re always talking about serious issues. However, having a conversation about something like finances will certainly contribute to the relationship lasting longer. Avoiding or pushing such conversations simply means that both of you have gotten too comfortable.
When a couple feels safe or overconfident, they talk less about the things that tick them off. It’s important to ask yourself how many issues both of you have let slide. If you think that discussing serious or even trivial matters is unnecessary, that may not be a good sign. While not arguing is seen as a good thing in relationships, letting things slide may hurt your relationship in the future.
Have you gotten so used to a certain sex routine that you can predict all his moves? When he kisses your neck, you already know what’s coming next. There’s nothing exciting or mysterious about sex anymore. While it’s good to know and understand your partner intimately, it’s also crucial to switch things up every now and then.
Using the same skills and moves will just make intimacy boring over time. Before you know it, you’re missing an old boyfriend’s touch or the spontaneity of a love interest.
Your face is swollen, nose running, eyes red, and hair in a mess, but you don’t mind having your partner around. Now, this is one of the key signs that you’re comfortable in a relationship. You have gotten to a point where it’s no longer uncomfortable or awkward when he sees you vulnerable.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t have makeup on or look so pale cause of sickness. If you have already seen this person at their lowest and vice versa, there’s very little left to hide.
It’s really nice when your partner tells you something no one else is privy to. You feel special and have more confidence in the relationship. However, what happens when there’s almost nothing left to tell? You now practically know all his secrets!
At this point, you both have probably crossed that benchmark and landed safely in your comfort zone. Knowing a lot about your partner is not a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s a basis to measure how far you have come and how much trust exists between both of you.
You could be sitting at the other end of the room, far from your spouse, and still tell when he’s excited, bored, or intrigued. Has that happened to you yet? If you have mastered your partner’s body language and know all of his communication cues, that’s another sign of being in the comfort zone.
Not everyone can tell what their partner is feeling at different times. So, if your partner still seems quite hard to figure out, it’s possible you’re not in that zone.
When was the last time you really put thought into a dress you wore or a hairstyle? Have you started wearing comfortable clothes and making safe hairstyles that don’t really stand out? Then you have probably hit a negative comfort snag. Yes, it’s important to feel comfortable and at ease when in a relationship.
However, that comfort shouldn’t take away from your style and appearance. Wearing baggy clothes and an old hairdo is not sexy at all. You don’t want your partner to start taking you for granted. So, if you no longer do the things you paid so much attention to at the beginning of the relationship, you have dropped the ball.
Some people are very particular about their personal effects. It doesn’t matter if they are married to you, there’s no sharing of towels, toothbrushes, or even cutlery. How were things at the beginning of your relationship? Were there boundaries when it came to personal belongings and effects? Has that line been crossed?
If you now find yourself constantly using his things without any thought about how he may feel, that’s not good. Some people may not know how to complain simply because they don’t want to embarrass you.
Let’s be honest, you only wear unattractive underwear when you’re not looking to get any action. Ladies use this trick when conscious about holding out until the right time. However, if you’re not holding out, you won’t be thinking of wearing the most comfortable underwear to his place. You’ll be thinking of the sexiest lingerie you own!
Has that changed? Do both of you put in less effort to the underwear worn around each other? When you’re no longer considering matching your underwear or wearing something more supportive and sexy, it simply means you have gotten too comfortable.
When you start out in a relationship, you’re desperately trying to impress the other person with your skills. You want everything to be perfect, so it’s normal to think of anything that will make the experience better. There’s candlelit dinners, aromatic massages, sexy foreplay games, and the likes that make everything more interesting.
When was the last time both of you tried something like this? The truth is, it’s easy to settle for plain old, jump-into-bed sex. There’s little leading up to that moment, and things can get very boring if you don’t start spicing your sex life up again.
If you aren’t married yet, discussing marriage and kids is a very delicate topic. You don’t want to seem desperate, so it’s one conversation people leave till later in the relationship. So, if you no longer fear sharing views on the topic, that signifies that both of you have reached your comfort zone. You are probably ready to graduate to the next phase in your relationship.
Have you both sat down to watch birthing videos, pimple-popping videos, or other unconventional clips together? Then that means the initial fear that existed at the beginning of the relationship is gone. You are so close that you don’t mind watching telenovelas together, or cats licking their paws for hours!
It’s cute and certainly means that you have become so close and knitted together in the relationship.
One major rule some couples try to establish is that of personal space and privacy. Even when you have nothing to hide, having a partner snoop through your phone is still offsetting. So, if you have reached that point where you both know each other’s passwords, and answer each other’s phones, that’s another sign.
It can be a blessing and a curse when you know everything about a person. Some may find this dynamic assuring and secure while others will get bored very fast.
When you initially start dating someone, it’s smart to keep in mind their health and hygiene status. Most people who have this in mind use condoms during intercourse. They also constantly ensure the other person is taking care of themselves and maintains good hygiene. You’re looking out for bad breath and foul smells, or even unhealthy-looking hair/skin.
However, if your confidence levels have you compromising all these checks and values, then that’s another sign. You’re so comfortable with this guy that you don’t mind intercourse without condoms. Plus, the fact that he no longer brushes twice a day doesn’t disturb you either.
Some couples have been together for years and still find it awkward being naked in front of each other. I guess we can say that general confidence is lacking, and one or both of them are still body-conscious. So, if you equally started out as a body-conscious wreck, but no longer mind being naked in front of this man, you’re in the comfort zone.
People who are not comfortable or secure around each other may have hesitations when it comes to revealing everything. But if you have crossed the line and now have enough confidence to embrace each other’s nakedness, that’s actually a good thing.
“Babe, please can you help me pop this pimple?” this seems normal right? What about partners who ask their significant other to help them shave?! Does this also sound normal? Then you are certainly in your comfort zone. If you can confidently ask your partner to help you with strange favors like buying you tampons, then you’re pretty close.
Such things actually prove how close a couple is; if you can ask him for practically anything, that may be a good sign too.
Relationships where both partners know each other’s tastes are golden. You’re not walking around the store racking your brain about what he would like and what he wouldn’t. You already know what type of shirts he wears. You probably help him pick out his shoes on a normal day, and you simply know the accessories he will appreciate.
When a couple that isn’t married yet starts leaving their personal effects over at each other’s house, then they are in the comfort zone. It takes a lot of confidence and closeness for people in uncommitted relationships to leave their things over. If you feel comfortable placing your clothes in his closet and bringing other things over, then you’re in the comfort zone.
Relationships have to have a spark to them. One of the ways to keep that spark going is to step out of the house every now and then. Treat yourselves to fine dining, see new sights, or try out cuisines. When you get too comfortable that the closest thing there is to a date is a ‘Netflix and chill’, that’s not a recipe for success.
Getting too comfortable in a relationship can be detrimental in the long run. At first, it may seem convenient, but it won’t mean well for the relationship. To get out of that spiral and spice things up a bit, it’s important to start a new routine.
Go on dates more often, spontaneously surprise him, and think of new styles and trends to try out. You can also choose to try something different out, like hiking, camping, surfing, and the likes. Taking a vacation should also enliven the relationship or you can try taking an exciting class together.
To help your boyfriend come out of his comfort zone, the first step is to rekindle the spark. That could mean recreating the beginning of your relationship. It could also mean breaking out of the comfort limbo first so he realizes it’s time to step up the game again.
It’s equally important to start vocalizing your feelings again and going on more well-thought-out dates. When he sees how much effort you have started putting into the relationship, that should make him step up as well.
Getting into a relationship's comfort zone can both be good and bad. It’s good because you both have reached that point where most of the mask has been set aside, and genuine love shines through. You no longer love the person just because of his style, looks, and etiquette, but for the bad and ugly too.
However, it can also hurt a perfect relationship when the couple gets too comfortable. There’s a good chance one or both parties will get bored, start feeling unappreciated and start looking for something more fresh and exciting.
When you’re in the relationship comfort zone, there are hardly any plans for anything new or fun. There’s less motivation to spice things up or change anything for the better. In fact, a perfect relationship should take you out of your comfort zone.
Every week should be better than the last, or at least the couple should strive to make it so. Doing so will ensure the relationship remains fun and exciting in the long run. Staying in the comfort zone may be the easiest thing to do, but getting out will bid better for the future.
It may be tricky knowing when you are in your comfort zone. Simply because, well, you are comfortable. However, the mere feeling of too much comfort may limit you. You can tell when you’re in your comfort zone simply by carrying out a self-appraisal.
Have you dropped the ball? Do you care less about your appearance? Are you less passionate or innovative when it comes to sex? And have you swung into a boring everyday routine? That’s how you know you’re too comfortable in a relationship.
Do you put effort into a job or a business to maintain a competitive advantage? Then put even more effort into ensuring the intimacy, love, joy, and excitement don’t die down in your relationship. There’s a thin line between loving your partner unconditionally and getting too comfortable in marriage and relationship.
Knowing the difference may save you months and years of tolerating a boring and unexciting relationship. The good news is, you can still turn things around, and enjoy a lasting relationship full of joy and spontaneity.
Did you enjoy reading through this list? Then feel free to leave your comments below and share this with friends and family who may need it to. Good luck!
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