At the beginning of most relationships, everyone's on their best behavior. The guy is trying hard to charm this girl enough to have her smitten, and the lady does the same; she looks good, acts kind, prim and proper, and put together. However, as those ‘honeymoon’ months as some may call it, go by, it’s very easy for things to change.
It’s important not to get sucked in by the different stages of a relationship because some people use this opportunity to let their guards down after some point and become someone very different from what their partner knows.
Getting comfortable in your relationship is actually okay, it means you’re bonding more and some of those defensive walls have come crashing down. However, getting too comfortable could cost you. And although you think relationships shouldn’t feel like work, they actually are.
So how do you know when you are really becoming way too comfortable in your relationship? Let’s find out together with these few signs that will check your behavior and helpfully provide tips that should get you out of your ‘comfort zone’.
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When was the last time you went on a proper date with your partner? A week? Two? Or a month? If it’s more than that, don’t hang your head in shame yet, it happens to the best of us. When you’ve been together for a while, it gets easy to just lay back and watch TV at the end of each day.
If he suggests an outing, you’re either too tired or stressed to even think of dressing up. Remember, that guy is a human being. He may not act like it, but he’s probably missing the excitement and spontaneity that was there before you became too comfortable.
Torn underwear, unflattering clothes, no make-up, yeah, that could pass across the wrong message. Again, it’s not wrong to get comfortable with your partner, but that doesn’t mean you should stop putting effort into the things that matter. Even if he says he loves you just the way you are, remember, they are a lot of ladies out there giving it their ‘A’ game.
You’re not trying to compete with them, but you still have to find ways to excite your man and keep his attention.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s so important that you don’t forget how to appreciate your man. Of course, this goes both ways, but here’s another truth; when your spouse sees you doing things to keep the spark going, he’d surely follow suit. So don’t feel like he already knows you love his eyes, and appreciate how he cares about you, keep telling him. For example, if he wears a really dapper outfit, don’t stop talking about how handsome he looks.
Words of affirmations will go a long way to ensure both partners feel loved, appreciated, and seen. So, encourage him with his plans/dreams every now and then. Don’t be robotic about it though, it should come from the heart. If he does something nice for you, remind him about how smart he is.
One thing a lot of ladies take for granted is a good man. Does he cook, clean, buy the groceries all while treating you like a queen? Don’t take that for granted! When one partner is giving their all and the other is just taking, that’s an unhealthy relationship.
One day, he’s going to stumble on an article just like this one and realize he’s in a toxic relationship, at that point, it may be too late to buckle up and fix things.
Sex is something that can grow old quite fast, that doesn’t take away the pleasure or the ecstatic feelings, but it can take away the flair and excitement. Don’t get so comfortable that sex just becomes an activity. Yes, there’s work, maybe even kids, and other responsibilities to think about. But it’s better you maintain your relationship now than try to patch it up when it’s broken.
Both you and your partner should savor every moment together. Once the sex gets old, a lot of things will follow. So, you do need to do your research, think about positions, erogenous points, or even sex toys to spark up that fire and keep it light.
When was the last time you thought about really surprising your spouse or partner? When was the last time you did something that really blew his mind? Okay, maybe that’s too far-fetched, when was the last time you said ‘I love you’ and meant it? It’s so easy to let go of these important things, especially in a long-term relationship.
Your spouse or partner shouldn’t feel like he can’t compliment you anymore. If you get too comfortable, you’d probably roll your eyes when he tries to treat you to a nice meal or do something romantic.
This is different from going on dates, especially if taking long walks or exploring the city was something you did often when you started dating. Here’s the thing, once you get so comfortable, that you feel you don’t need to connect over shared interests, that’s a dangerous zone right there.
If you need to, take permission from work and tell him to do the same, choose a spot and some comfortable clothes, and just ‘walk down memory lane’.
Go to the places you had your ‘firsts’, it could be where you first kissed him, where you first met, or even where you had your first falling out. That time together will remind you of how far you’ve come, and how much more you should cherish your relationship.
Sometimes, your partner probably wants you to be romantic, empathetic, or just responsive to what he’s saying. But, if you have become a bit too snarky, it could really hurt him. If this guy is trying to find ways to spice things up, you should be working with him to make things better.
Just like being sarcastic, being rude and disrespectful may only push him to the wall, and make him feel like leaving the relationship. Sometimes, it’s not that the guy you dated was ‘an ass’, our own attitudes are to blame for whatever decision they take in the end. So stay kind, keep hearing him out and be respectful if you want to keep that man.
In my years doing this, I’ve seen a lot of couples get so comfortable that they don’t take things seriously anymore. They’ll dress down to a date, skip important events, lie about little issues, and the likes. If your partner feels like you’ve become too comfortable to be there for him, support him and cheer him on, he may look for someone who will.
Remember, nobody is obligated to stay in a relationship they aren’t happy in, so if he walks away, it wouldn’t entirely be his fault. Rather than acting as if you don’t care, put in the work now so you don’t find yourself in a slippery situation tomorrow.
It’s actually quite sad, but a lot of couples reach that point where they don’t feel the need to keep themselves clean anymore. Before, you would probably do the whole routine; brush your teeth, bathe, moisturize both your body, face, hair, and lips, and spray on a nice and sweet-smelling scent.
Now that you’ve gotten the man, and spent so much time together, you think it’s okay to throw all caution to the wind. Here’s the thing, some partners won’t tell you that they are uncomfortable with your hygiene, but the fact that you’re letting yourself go will bother them deeply.
When you first met, you couldn’t even burp in front of this guy without feeling embarrassed, but now, it’s a normal phenomenon. Nobody is saying you should pretend, but laying all those ‘nasty cards on the table’ might not be the best idea. Yes, I know a lot of people say the honeymoon period must surely come to an end, but it’s important to ensure your relationship lasts past that period.
When you’ve gotten too comfortable in a relationship, you may start taking things like your looks, attitude, manners, and actions for granted. You may also start appreciating your partner less than before.
If you notice that your partner has started getting too comfortable, you have to speak up. he/she may not know and may just be having a good time living their best life. You could also show your partner how to act by being a good example. Dress well, buy gifts, and be spontaneous, your action may spur your partner into action again.
It honestly depends on the individual, however, it’s safe to put the average at five to six months. At this point, most couples know each other well enough to feel relaxed and unbothered about trying too hard.
There’s a difference between loving the idea of something and actually being in love with someone. First off, if you love somebody, you won’t be selfish, you’ll think about your partner and not just what you stand to gain from being in a relationship with him.
When you feel drained, distraught, and have to fake being happy, then you are probably unhappy in that relationship. If everything is fine, you may feel stressed or even annoyed every now and then, but it won’t be a lasting feeling.
Did you enjoy reading through this list? I sure hope you did. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being comfortable around your partner, but when you push things further by being too comfortable, it could spell trouble for your relationship. Be a sweetheart and leave your thoughts on the topic below, and also share this article if it helped you in any way.