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My Boyfriend And I Have Nothing To Talk About (13 Ways To Spark A Conversation)

Last updated on July 28, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

You’ve been together for a while now but suddenly feel like you and your boyfriend have nothing to talk about?

Everything was running smoothly before. He seemed deeply in love with you and always spoiled you with beautiful words.

Communication between you two was stellar.

And then… complete silence. 

You start wondering:

How did you run out of things to talk about?

When did your conversations become so blunt?

Why does he looks annoyed each time you try to talk to him?

There are many reasons why this can happen.

Maybe he’s going through a rough time at home or at work.

Perhaps he is concerned about something serious going on with one of his buddies, but he doesn’t want to get you worried.

Or you might have talked so much about anything and everything that you ran out of conversation topics. And that’s okay.

But what if you just want to talk to him so badly while he keeps avoiding it?

It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?

And you’re so right to feel concerned or upset about your relationship.

Now, let me tell you something.

Sometimes, he might not have anything to say to you because he’s already telling everything to someone else.

It may sound harsh, but there is a chance he might be cheating on you.

Perhaps that’s not the case, but you still have to rule it out, just for your own peace of mind.

I always recommend using a background checker like this (click on the link to get to their site).

Simply enter his details, and the tool will give you a bunch of information on what he’s been up to.

You can find out whether he’s active on any dating sites and who he might have talked on Facebook while not talking to you.

It might sound harsh, but many girlfriends have found their boyfriends were cheating by using such a tool.

Hopefully, that’s not your case.

You must still rule that out though; if he does cheat, it makes no sense to look at the reasons below.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out.

Now that I assume you ruled that out let’s see the most common reasons why you two might have nothing to talk about and how to change that.

13 Things To Talk About When You Have Nothing To Say

Are you tired of the awkward silences between you and your boyfriend but aren't sure of what to do about it? Does it feel like you and your boyfriend have nothing to talk about, and it scares you that you might be drifting apart? 

Don't panic. Many relationships can attest to feeling the same way as this situation is more common than you can imagine.

Having been together for a while, it might sometimes feel like you've covered all the bases when it comes to conversation. The stillness is deafening, and you feel as if you have nothing new, fascinating, or essential to offer. 

Even though a long-term relationship can change dramatically at this point, there is no need to stress about it or put too much pressure on yourself. In fact, the more concerned you are, the more difficult it will be to come up with something new to say. 

So instead of worrying, suggest revisiting old topics. After all, there is always the possibility that your perspectives and understanding of these topics may have changed.

The bottom line is it's normal to feel bored in a long-term relationship is normal, and it's rarely a symptom of serious relationship issues. Nonetheless, there are solutions to your conversation problem. Here are 13 discussion starters that you can use with your boyfriend to keep the conversation flowing.

1. Talk about books and movies

talk about books and movies

After watching a TV show or movie together, how often do you turn off the TV and go separate ways? If the answer is 'often,' you are missing out on a great conversation starter. 

Watching TV shows, movies, or reading books together are a great way to connect with your boyfriend as you can discuss what you've just watched, from the characters to the plot twists and your overall idea of the storyline.

So if you ever feel like you don’t have anything to talk about with your boyfriend, play a good movie and watch it inspire countless topics. Even if you disagree with your partner's theories on certain subjects, you can still explain things to them and have a healthy argument about why yours makes more sense.

2. Ask random and silly questions that you've always been curious about

It's funny how we often think we have nothing to say, yet we can't keep our minds quiet. Well, perhaps it's time to blurt out those random questions and thoughts that cross your mind as they can inspire juicy quick conversations.

Even if your thoughts and feelings don't appear conversational, consider discussing them. The clutter in your brain can be extremely entertaining, and you can never run out of things to talk about since it's continually changing.

Think of the silly questions you've always wondered about your boyfriend. Perhaps their first impression when you met, their worst fear, or even their most humiliating moments. The fact is, you can't possibly know everything about your partner, so don't be afraid to ask questions; just ensure that you remain non-judgemental.

3. Get an intimacy card deck

An Intimacy card deck is a great conversation starter as it will help you and your partner get to know one other on a deeper and more meaningful level. 

If you don't have physical cards, there are apps created to help couples engage in meaningful dialogue that fosters and strengthens their romantic relationships. These cards/ apps work by giving random question prompts to get both of you talking.

Making time each week for just 30 minutes of face-to-face time with your partner is a great way to get to know each other. During this time, you can engage in card games, board games, and other interests that’ll make you start talking about new things.

4. Exchange childhood stories and past life experiences

exchange childhood stories and past life experiences

Childhood stories can be revealing, as the past is typically an unexplored reservoir of interesting stories. For the most part, our past experiences and upbringing can immensely affect our outlook on life, ideologies, and even our insecurities. 

So even if it seems like you know where he schooled or where he lived, it's time to go deeper and ask about his experiences as a child. You never know; you may learn something you never knew that'd help keep things fresh in your relationship. For instance, learning about his best birthdays, holidays, and Christmases can aid in planning a surprise vacation to his favorite vacation spot.

Lastly, you could also ask about their regrets or something they would do differently if given the opportunity again. Sharing your worst errors and missed opportunities with each other when the mood is right could lead to some emotional discussions. It can also be a great way to let your vulnerabilities show.

5. Inquire about their dream job

We live in a fast world where it's easy to get sucked into a job because of the money. Discuss with your boyfriend what he would do if money were not a problem and share yours as well. Then, if at all possible, think of ways to help each other on the path to a better career path. 

For instance, if you or your partner are feeling uninspired in your personal lives or your relationship, returning to school, changing careers, or taking up a new hobby or hobbies could be the solution you've been looking for. 

It's not news that most people aren't working in a field that they're passionate about. Who knows, your boyfriend's ideal job could be to be a professional singer, dancer, or athlete. So asking questions about your interest and dream job will make you see each other in a new light.

6. Share embarrassing moments

As ironic as this may seem, sharing embarrassing moments with your partner can help strengthen your relationship.

You see, when you're embarrassed, you typically find yourself at a point where you are exposed to the reactions of those around you because your public persona no longer protects you. While this makes us feel vulnerable, it also proves that we are imperfect humans.

Therefore, revealing your embarrassing moments to your boyfriend will make him see that you are an authentic being who isn't afraid to admit your awkward moments. Also, this will make him let his guards down, get comfortable around you, and trust you more.

So, the next time you don’t have anything to talk about, take advantage of your awkward and embarrassing stories and use them to build a stronger bond.

7. Talk about raising kids

talk about raising kids

If you intend to start a family, it's a good idea to figure out what that entails as soon as possible. 

To avoid a rift over such a life-altering decision in the future, make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your careers and how you will handle things like childcare and who will have to take a backseat in their career to spend more time with the kids.

Another worthy topic of discussion here is child discipline. Many couples who become parents face a lot of challenges in this area. Therefore, you must talk about child discipline in advance so that you're both better prepared for parenthood together.

8. Ask about each other's boundaries

Healthy partnerships are built on the foundation of clear boundaries that keep both partners on an even keel. In addition, they assist reduce conflict since they set a precedent for what you both anticipate from one other.

So while setting boundaries may not have been a huge difficulty for either you or your boyfriend in the past, they can easily become a major issue if not discussed frequently. After all, it's not unusual to see couples who appear to be on the same page but have quite different views about what is acceptable and their approach to the same topics.

9. Talk about their role model relationship

If you were to take a poll and ask people in healthy relationships if they have a role model relationship, most would say yes. 

Everyone has an opinion of what their ideal relationship should look like, and they typically draw this idea from other relationships. It could be their parents, siblings, grandparents, or a celebrity couple. 

Either way, knowing each other's relationship model will give you insights into their expectations from you and how you can go about fulfilling them. For instance, if the lady in your partner’s role model partnership is a hopeless romantic, it means this is what he expects from you.

10. Bring up finance

bring up finance

Chances are you and your boyfriend haven't talked about money in a while — if at all. So if you're looking for a conversation starter, this might be a ticket.

One of the best things about talking about money is that it never gets boring, even as you reach new life milestones. Everything can be discussed, from saving money on monthly bills to shopping around for the best deal on new things and negotiating a raise at work.

When discussing, talk about everything from your ideas on having a joint account to budgeting and debt. Admittedly, talking about money can sometimes be embarrassing, especially when it involves debt, but you must discuss it now regardless as it'll help avoid unpleasant surprises down the road.

11. Share your views on trust

It doesn't matter how long you and your partner have been together; life events, such as trust might alter your perspectives. Think about asking your partner what it means to them right now, who they trust the most, and how they would lose their trust if they did. 

Also, this might be a good time to discuss your deal breakers. Many people have strong opinions on what constitutes a deal-breaker or non-negotiables in a romantic relationship. Deal breakers can be viewed as non-negotiable boundaries that if crossed can lead to a breakup. For instance, it's better to know now if your partner would want to have an open marriage rather than wait until you're married.

12. Ask about their future plans

While you and your partner may have had discussions about the future in the past, it's a topic worth resurrecting now and then. For instance, when last did you discuss your five-year plan, and I don't mean only career-wise but also in terms of your relationship, experiences, and even finances? 

When asking about the future, don't stop at knowing the basics. Ask follow-up questions to get more details and know how you can best position yourself to help them achieve their dreams. 

Discussions about the future can also help you know if your boyfriend is interested and committed to you because if he doesn't see you in his future, chances are it isn't.

13. Get comfortable with the silence

After everything is said and done, it's worth knowing that you shouldn't feel compelled to talk nonstop if you (or your boyfriend) do not feel like speaking at that moment. 

Admittedly, we often feel the urge to speak and fill the silence with an interesting conversation. However, sometimes, intimacy can be built while staring, smiling, embracing, or holding hands. So graciously accept the moments of silence in your relationship and enjoy each other’s company, trusting that communication will come naturally when the need for a conversation arises.

FAQs

Is it normal to not have anything to talk about with your boyfriend?

Absolutely. For a short time. It's normal for couples who have been in long-term relationships to have nothing to talk about. The truth is, there are several reasons why this could happen. Perhaps, you've both had busy schedules and haven't had the time to process your thoughts and communicate with each other. 

Is it okay if my boyfriend and I don't talk every day?

Yes, there’s absolutely nothing wrong if you and your boyfriend do not talk every day. However, don’t make this a habit. Strong communication is important in every relationship, so if you aren't seeing each other frequently or engaging in daily phone calls, a simple text can serve as a reminder that you're in each other's thoughts.

Can a relationship survive without conversation?

No. A relationship can't thrive without good conversations. Couples that shy away from conversations or any form of communication are bound to face issues. The lack of intimacy and conflict resolution will be a challenge as they do not have a grasp of each other's psyches.

What does stonewalling mean in a relationship?

Stonewalling in a relationship happens when one partner intentionally shuts the other out during a disagreement or gives them the silent treatment. Therefore, a person who refuses to communicate with their partner is referred to as a stonewaller and can be the cause of an unnecessary breakup.

Do couples always have something to talk about?

No. Not having something to discuss doesn’t necessarily mean it is a bad thing. In fact, a good sign of a healthy couple isn't in how often they talk but in how comfortable they are with staying quiet and what they communicate with their body language. So don't put yourself under pressure to always have something to say. 

In Conclusion

Not having something to discuss with your partner at all times does mean you do not have shared interests and need to break up as there are several reasons this could happen. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed reading this list and found the tips on conversation starters helpful. If yes, please leave a comment behind, and don’t forget to share it with friends.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

One comment on “My Boyfriend And I Have Nothing To Talk About (13 Ways To Spark A Conversation)”

  1. Hi there, these are all great suggestions. I could use some examples of questions to ask my boyfriend for the different categories you list. Sometimes having something concrete up my sleeve helps me rather than just a guide to get started.

    Thanks in advance!

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