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When You Have Nothing to Talk About With Your Boyfriend

We all dream of a relationship where we spend a lot of our time talking to our boyfriends and sharing our deepest secrets with them, but what happens when you have nothing to talk about with your boyfriend? Does this mean you have lost interest in him, or are they hiding something from you?

We are going to find out if it is normal that couples do not have anything to talk about among themselves. There are also some psychological reasons mentioned that might be responsible for you not being able to share your thoughts with your partner. 

We will also look at topics you can discuss with your boyfriend, which can help you initiate a conversation with them.

Key Takeaways

  • There is nothing to worry about if you and your boyfriend do not have anything to talk about.
  • Silence in a relationship does not always have to be bad. It does not mean that your partner has lost interest in you.
  • In long-term relationships, when you know everything about your partner, there are more chances that you might run out of things to talk about all the time.
  • It would help if you spent some time apart from each other occasionally, doing your own things. This will ensure that when you meet, you have something to share with your partner.

Is It Okay When Couples Don't Have Anything to Talk About?

Relationships usually change with time. When a relationship is new, the people involved spend a lot of their time talking to each other as they are still in the stage where they are getting to know each other. 

However, as the relationship progresses, couples get comfortable with each other and are no longer under pressure to impress the other, which results in occasional comfortable silences. These silences are not a bad sign and only go on to show that you are comfortable in each other’s company and know a lot about each other. [1]

However, if the silence is getting too much for you and you miss the times when you used to have heart-to-heart conversations, then you should talk to your boyfriend about it and try to find out topics that can help you have a conversation with your man.

5 Psychological Reasons Why You Have Nothing to Talk About with Your Boyfriend

If you feel you and your boyfriend do not have anything to talk about, there might be some psychological reasons preventing any one or both of you from opening your heart to each other. These reasons might be related to your childhood, environment or personality, because of which you unconsciously might find it difficult to communicate.

Below are the five psychological reasons which might be behind you not having anything to talk to your boyfriend about.

1. You think talking will make things worse - Understand that having an honest talk will bring you two closer

Some people build walls around them and do not let even their loved ones through these walls. Sometimes, it is the secretive nature, and sometimes it is the fear of causing a conflict that prevents people from sharing their deep fears and emotions.

However, you need to understand that sharing your true feelings with your partner will create intimacy in your relationship and bring you two closer. A person who loves you truly will never judge you based on your deep secrets, and once you show them your true self, you will feel much more secure and safe around them.

On the other hand, keeping your feelings bottled up will only make you resent your partner and cause a lack of trust in your relationship.

2. You do not want to seem needy - It’s okay to rely on each other for different things

Some people are afraid of seeming needy so much that they do not even share with their partner if they have some unmet needs in the relationship. 

Every person is different and has different needs, and you should not be ashamed to share your emotional needs with your partner when you are in a serious relationship. Suppressing your needs can result in an emotional breakdown, and it would shock your partner as they would not have known that there was a problem in the first place. [2]

Sharing your unmet needs will not burden your partner if you express yourself appropriately. Avoid complaining or pointing fingers, talk to your boyfriend calmly, let them know what your needs are and how not getting them fulfilled makes you feel. 

A mature man will understand where you are coming from and try his best to meet your needs.

3. You don’t want them to worry - Sharing your troubles with each other builds trust

Happy couple bonding

All relationships have ups and downs. However, it becomes a problem when you do not want to share your issues with your partner for fear of stressing them out. But hiding things from your partner would cause them more stress than the problem itself. [3]

Your partner is an adult who can handle challenges and difficult emotions. No relationship is perfect, and the stress and the conflicts will strengthen your bond and bring you closer.

4. You don’t think your feelings are justified - Your feelings are valid and real

You might not be sharing your true feelings with your man because you might not see them as fair. You might have overanalyzed your feelings and come to the conclusion that your way of thinking is not right, which might have prevented you from sharing them with your partner altogether.

However, it is not about your emotions being right or wrong but about honoring your feelings and being honest with your partner. 

The right partner will never judge you for how you feel, and opening up to him might make you feel better and enable you to see things from a different perspective.

5. You think you already know how your partner feels - You are not a mind reader

You might not be having conversations with your man because you might be thinking you already know how he might be feeling. However, you are not a mind reader, and your partner might not be sharing their feelings with you because you never asked.

Assuming what is going on in your boyfriend’s mind instead of asking him can cause a lot of neglect and hurt in the relationship.

13 Things to Talk About When You Have Nothing to Talk About

It does not necessarily have to be a red flag if your boyfriend has nothing to talk to you about. There are chances that it is just a phase, and you and your partner spend so much time with each other that you might have run out of things to discuss. 

Putting too much pressure on yourself and your partner about this trivial thing can only strain your relationship. So instead of worrying that your relationship has lost its spark, look for things that you can talk to them about and look for ways to have fun.

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The tips below will help you if you feel you and your partner do not have anything to discuss.

1. Talk about your shared interests

Almost everybody has hobbies and passions they wish to pursue in their free time. Talking about each other’s hobbies can be a good conversation starter and can get your partner to start talking about their interests. Talking about each other’s likes and dislikes will start interesting conversations and help you build a stronger bond. 

If you two do not have any hobbies, you can find other interests that both of you share. Once you both share a new hobby, you will have a lot to talk about. You can always share the new things you learned and encourage each other to do better.

2. Make it a habit to ask about their day

If you and your partner do not talk anymore, show them you care by asking them about their day. Once they answer this question, you can ask follow-up questions related to their work or life so the conversation keeps flowing. 

Asking about someone's day seems like a basic question and a normal thing to do. However, doing this will give you an idea about what’s going on in your partner's life and will also provide new topics for discussion. [4]

3. Start a debate

If you have absolutely nothing to talk about with your partner and the silence is killing you, it is time to start a random debate. The debate does not necessarily need to be on a serious topic, it can be completely random. 

While you discuss, you might discover you both like or do not like the same things, and it is okay as you will learn new things about each other.

4. Talk about each other’s past

Couple talking in the park

An individual’s past experiences play a huge part in how they grow up to be, their ideologies, principles, personality, etc. If you and your partner barely talk, then talking about each other’s past would not only give you something worth talking about but will help you learn more about each other.

5. Ask the right questions

If you feel there is a communication gap between you and your partner even after you try your best to ask questions about their professional and personal lives, then it can be that you are not asking the right questions. 

Ask your partner specific open-ended questions that will get him thinking and start talking with enthusiasm. It would help if the questions were positive and showed them that you want to know more about them rather than you wanting to nag them. 

6. Talk about your sexual fantasies

If you cannot find anything to talk to your partner about, discuss with them how important sex is in your relationship and what you can do to make the experience much more pleasurable for them. Finding out about each other’s sexual fantasies and trying to fulfill them can help you keep things fresh, at least physically. 

Learning new things about each other’s bodies will keep the excitement alive in your relationship, and you both will have more sense of each other’s needs. Not only sex, but you can also discuss each other’s love languages, whether it is physical touch or words of affirmation or gifts.

7. Reminisce about the first impression you had of each other

When you have nothing to talk about with your partner, you can start a conversation about the early days of dating. 

Recalling the times when the relationship was still new will take you back to when the attraction was still fresh, and you would be filled with excitement.  

While discussing the magical dating phase, you can ask each other questions like what you wore on the first date, your impression of each other, etc. Once you start the topic of your early relationship phase, you will be amazed to find that there might be so many things to discuss. 

8. Talk about your future

If you are in a serious relationship and see a future with your boyfriend, it makes sense to discuss it with them. For instance, when you see kids playing, you can ask your partner about the games they played in their childhood and what games your future kids would play.

Having a conversation about the future will give you a lot of things to talk about with your partner and guarantee that there is no awkward silence. Ensure that you have an open communication with your partner.

9. Talk about each other’s goals

If you and your partner have nothing to talk about, you can try opening your hearts to each other about your ambitions. We all have specific dreams which we want to accomplish in our lives. When you and your partner spend time together, you can ask each other about your dream job, career and professional goals, etc. 

As you talk, you will discover new things about each other, and the conversation will keep flowing. All you need to do is listen to what your partner says with concentration and an open mind. Active listening is the first step in healthy, open communication.

10. Share embarrassing moments

Nobody is perfect. We all have embarrassing moments that we are uncomfortable sharing with everyone. However, being able to share these vulnerable moments with your partner is a good sign as it shows you trust each other. Being vulnerable will bring intimacy to your relationship and make your relationship much stronger.

Sharing your embarrassing times will give you things to talk about and ensure your partner sees that side of you and how you face difficult situations. It’s normal to share your secrets with someone you love, and soon you will find yourself having good conversations about topics you never knew existed. [5] 

11. Ask silly questions

You and your partner do not always have to talk about something serious; you can ask each other imaginary random questions like ‘what if’. These random questions do not have to have a link with reality, but they will still start a conversation and give you a lot of things to talk about.

Talking on the same topics can get really dull, so you can ask questions like ‘What if you become the President for a day?’ or ‘What if you won a lottery today?’

Asking such fun questions can give you a lot to talk about and bond over.

12. Watching movies together

If you and your partner have nothing to talk about, you can always switch on the TV and watch some exciting show with them. In case you and your significant other already spend a lot of time watching TV shows together, but in silence, it would help if you make it a habit to talk about the show in between.

Discuss the storyline of the movie, your favorite character, what you liked about the movie, etc. Doing this will help you break the silence and ensure good communication between you two.

13. Play online trivia games

If, of late, you have been getting a lot of communication gaps from your partner, it is time to spice up things a little and come out of your daily boring routine. You can join an activity with your partner that you both like and spend some time doing things together that you both love. 

If you do not have time to go out and learn cooking or dance, you can play online trivia games instead. Doing this will break the silence between you two, and take the “burden” of coming up with a discussion topic off you. 


What to talk about when you have nothing to talk about with your boyfriend?

When couples don’t have anything to talk about, they can ask each other about the other’s day, ask open-ended questions, and start a debate. They can talk about the past and future with each other, which can give them an insight into how the other person thinks. Couples can also do any activity together, which can give them something to bond over and increase communication.

How can couples improve communication in the relationship?

Couples can improve communication in the relationship by being open and transparent with each other, or else there can be a communication gap. It would be best if you told your partner exactly how you feel and instead of expecting them to read your mind. Your message should be clear, and you should practice active listening so the communication is always effective.

Is it normal for couples to run out of things to talk about?

Couples not talking to each other in a romantic relationship does not always have to be a bad thing, as sometimes there might not be anything new to talk about because you are always together. However, many times couples might not talk as they do not want to start a fight, or they might not be interested in talking to their partner, which is a problem.


Even the most happy and loving relationships need some work. If you feel you and your boyfriend do not have much to talk about, first of all, try to find the reason for it. If it is a phase, try to bring new topics of discussion to the table, and you would be surprised by how these random topics can inspire so many different conversations.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you had nothing to talk about with your boyfriend? If yes, what did you do to initiate a conversation with them? Is it normal for couples to run out of things to talk about? Let us know what you think.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.

5 Sources:
  1. Nguyen TP, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. When poor communication does and does not matter: The moderating role of stress. J Fam Psychol. 2020 
  2. Acitelli, Linda. (1988). When Spouses Talk to Each Other about their Relationship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships - J SOC PERSON RELAT. 5. 185-199. 
  3. Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Does Couples' Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication? J Marriage Fam. 2016 
  5. Tyler Prochnow, Megan S. Patterson, Logan Hartnell, M. Renée Umstattd Meyer. (2023) Online Gaming Network Communication Dynamics, Depressive Symptoms, and Social Support: A Longitudinal Network Analysis. Sociological Focus 0:0, pages 1-12.

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