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Why Does My Husband Want Me To Sleep With Another Man? (The Honest Truth)

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you in a beautiful relationship, married to the man of your dreams, with everything going perfectly?

Then, one day, out of the blue your husband catches you completely off guard with a very bizarre question.

He tells you that he wants to watch you have sex with another man.

What!?

You're completely dumbfounded.

You literally can't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

Your relationship as you imagined it has taken a completely new turn, and you just can't come to grips with why he would want you to sleep with another man.

Well, in this article I'm going to explain the reasons behind your husband potentially wanting this.

Before we dive into that, however, we have to rule out one very important thing.

It may sound harsh, but we have to rule out that he's cheating on you.

Some men use this as an excuse to get out of the mess they have created by cheating on their wives.

They think that, "Only if I can get my wife to sleep with another man, we'll be even, and my wife can't get angry if she finds out I cheated on her".

If only it were that easy....

One great tool that I recommend using to rule this out is this tool (click on the link to go to their site).

Just enter his name and location, and it'll dig up a ton of information on your husband that you most likely didn't even know.

Things like, which dating sites he may be active on, who he has been hanging out with after work when he came home late, and many other things.

Many wives have discovered their husbands were cheating on them using this tool.

Hopefully that isn't the case with your relationship, but it's important rule it out before we can go further.

Unfortunately this can be a common reason for husbands wanting their wives to sleep with another man.

Now that you've ruled this out, let's dive a bit further into other reasons he could want this.

What Is This Desire Called?

The idea of wanting to see your wife have sex with another man is called ‘cuckoldry’, ‘cuckolding’ or ‘cucking’. It is a sexual fetish that certain men enjoy when they watch their partner have sex with a strange man.

It denotes a forceful sightseeing of an unfaithful wife, however, based on the consent of the husband who plays the submissive role. A man who fantasizes in cuckolding is referred to as a cuckold.

Cuckoldry is a cyclic process as it is the witnessing of another person’s joy which would make you feel humiliated, bad, or degraded only to feel very good afterward. It is another form of mental masochism which involves deriving pleasure or enjoyment from being inflicted with pain. Click here for further information about cuckolding

What are the Participants called?

​In a monogamous affair, there are usually just three participants that participate in the cuckolding fantasy namely;

  • ​The cuckold or cuck: this is your husband who wants to derive pleasure from watching you, his wife, have sex with another man
  • ​The hot wife: this is you, the woman that is to have sex with another man
  • ​The bull: the is the third party who is invited by the cuck and hot wife to have sex with the woman

What Could Be The Motivation Behind My Husband’s Desire?

There are several things that could motivate your husband to desire this fantasy. Most often, the major reason for this is humiliation. Humiliation means that your husband wants to increase the intensity of his sexual experience with you by being made to feel inadequate or shameful.

In other words, your husband wants to eroticize his insecurities and shame by watching you have sex with another man. His desire to humiliate himself by consenting to you having sex with another man is a means to cover up for his shortcomings as a man.

To help you understand this better, let us be more practical:

Assuming your husband has a small penis or he feels he is not satisfying you enough during sex, he then talks to you of the need to bring in a third party into the affair. During your affair with the third party, your husband would be gathering momentum from the humiliation that he cannot satisfy you sexually. When he is to have sex with you, he unleashes that momentum with full force which would bring about satisfaction.

​The momentum to be gathered is determined by you the hot wife based on how much you enjoyed sex with the bull in contrast to the sex you receive from your husband.

The moans, shouts, and groans you produce when having sex with the bull humiliates your husband in that it reminds him of how incapable he is of satisfying you sexually. This drives your husband to want to perform better with you sexually.

Other Motivations For Cuckolding

Aside from humiliation, there are other reasons your husband might want to watch you have sex with some other persons. Some of them include:

Generosity or Show-off

There are instances you’ve made a boast to your friends how wonderful your husband is on the bed, right? The same thing applies to the male folks too. They sometimes go around making claims about how good you are in bed. Your husband might want his friend to have a glimpse of what he is enjoying by inviting him to your home.

In this situation, cuckolding is not with the view of getting humiliated but rather to share with his friends the pleasure he enjoys. This might be to just prove that he is not lying to them

At times, a man fantasies could extend beyond just deriving sexual pleasure but also to show the world how much pleasure he is enjoying. This happens most times when the woman in question has a sexy body, worshipped by all.

Cross Dreaming

couple

Cuckolding could also stem out from being across dreamer. A cross dreamer is one who fantasizes to be in the position of a woman i.e. being at the receiving end. If your husband is a cross dreamer, it doesn’t mean he is homosexual. He just derives pleasure by putting on your underwear or something of such sort.

Cross dreaming is double-faceted in the sense that the cross dream is attracted to his wife and to the fact that what is being done to his wife is done to them. For instance, your husband derives pleasure from spanking you and from the feeling that he is being spanked.

With regards to cuckolding, therefore, your husband watching you have sex with another man is he projecting himself to be the one having sex with that man. Thus, deriving pleasure.

Wife Consideration

Your husband might just want you to have the utmost satisfaction sexually. This is mainly due to too much enlightenment on the part of your husband. They do not see it as a means to derive pleasure whatsoever but that your sexual desires are met.

To your husband, he wants you to have a taste of something different. This way, introducing an entirely different sex to you, his wife. So, to get the sexual approval he needs from you, his wife, he falls back while you receive satisfaction sexually.

Also, rather than having to watch pornography to learn how to satisfy you, your husband might want a more experienced man, the bull, to show him how best to do it. This can be very informative as well as arousing.

Rejection

Being rejected at childhood by one’s mother, lacking affection, can be another reason your husband wants to see you share his bed with another man. He most likely had enjoyed approval and praises but not acceptance and affection. It is more of a psychological thing here.

Thus, when having sex with the bull, he suffers rejection but afterward, your going back to him after the hot sex transforms that rejection into a feeling of being loved and needed.

Competition

Before marriage, there is always this feeling of competing to get you by your husband. With so many suitors at your feet, your husband finally wins and upon marriage, such competition ends. Naturally, your husband loved that competition and it fantasized him.

Now, in a bid to reenact that competition, your husband might have brought the idea of cuckolding. This way, there is a need to improve his game to meet your sexual desire.

You should watch this video for a better understanding of the psychology of cuckolding ​

What Is In It For Our Marriage?

Greater Bond between Couples

Based on studies, it has been discovered that there is usually a stronger connection built after engaging in cuckolding. Also, it helps both you and your husband appreciate each other better.

For the fact that your husband opened up shows how much he trusts you. Covering up for one and the others’ weakness help build the relationship and enhances communication in the marriage.

Cuckolding increases trust, oneness, and closeness which are all important to have and enjoy a long-lasting and healthy relationship.

Better sex between Couples

marriage

If the reason for cuckolding is for the cuckold, your husband, to learn how best to satisfy you then this is a great idea. Cuckolding offers you the opportunity to help your husband reach his potentials sexually. This way, he is able to provide you with the satisfaction you desire.

Couples who practice cuckolding are said to have a long-lasting relationship compared to those who do not. This is because cuckolding provides them with exciting and novel experiences. Rather than doing the same thing repeatedly, cuckolding provides you with varieties of styles one can try out to achieve sexual satisfaction.

Trust and Confidence

Cuckolding is more of an open relationship as the husband is fully aware of the man you are having sex with. This improves trust as you do not have to hide anything from him yet, you are satisfying your sexual desires. Most times, the cuckold does not fantasize about having sex with other women.

More so, with full awareness of your sexual desires, your relationship can remain healthy, rid of jealousy and unfaithfulness. This in a way improves the confidence level of you and your husband since the both of you are achieving sexual satisfaction.

What Is In It For Me?

Cuckolding, as weird or absurd as it might sound to you, has a lot in it for you of which includes:

Sexual Satisfaction

There is the sexual satisfaction or fulfillment you would enjoy for partaking in cuckolding. Giving the opportunity to enjoy sex from different sexual partners.

Every one of the bulls come with different sexual styles and skills that your husband may not have. It could also be that these bulls are able to satisfy your sexual fantasies like enjoying sex from a bigger penis. Irrespective of the specifics, you are going to enjoy a more enthusiastic, satisfying, and frequent sex.

Confidence and Empowerment

Normally, the woman is bestowed with the responsibility of childbirth and to sexually satisfy the husband. Also, women have been scripted to be in the position to accept the promiscuousness of men while being submissive and loyal to a fault.

Cuckolding empowers you to do what you want sexually and whom you want to engage it with. This way, you are shifting base from what the society demands to what you desire. It gives you the freedom you desire

Through this empowerment, confidence is built, making sex with the bull more pleasurable and exciting.

What Is In It For My Husband?

Realization of Fantasies and Sexual Satisfaction

Your husband, the cuckold, gets to realize his fantasies from which he gets to derive pleasure and his satisfied sexually. This results in what Abraham Maslow called Self-actualization in his hierarchy of needs.

Attaining self-actualization means reaching your full potentials. At this point, he can exploit all his abilities and talents both in and out of bed. It would bring out the best of the man in him as he would be more focused on his growth than what people think or say.

Improved Confidence

couple

​Overcoming your fears enhances confidence. Depending on whatever reason your husband might want to engage in cuckolding, it is certain that when his desires are met, his confidence level would skyrocket. This would help your relationship as he would get to love you more than ever.

Are there any shortcomings?

Aside from the bias people might have for the practice, the major shortcoming of cuckolding is that you might end up having a thing for the bull. Once your husband discovers that the bull is taking his place, the whole essence of cuckolding is lost and jealousy sets in.

Some other minor shortcomings include sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. To prevent this from happening, you can make use of contraceptives or condoms. More so, before any man becomes the bull, it is advisable to go to the clinic for the appropriate medical test.

How to deal with Jealousy

Getting unnecessary attached to the bull can ruin things for your relationship. It is enough for a husband to see his woman being handled by another man but it is a disaster to see that man taking his position in your heart. Avoiding jealousy demands a dual effort i.e. you and your husband.

Some tips to avoid jealousy includes:

  • ​The both of you should engage in cuckolding for the right reasons. Neither of you should engage in it for the sake of yourself alone. If you agree to engage in it just to satisfy your sexual desires without considering why your husbands want it, you most likely would get yourself attached to the bull
  • ​You and your husband have different roles to play and they should be carried out adequately. As the wife, do not try to hold back. Enjoy the sex! Moan, groan and scream just like you would normally. It must be as real as possible to achieve the desired result
  • ​One common mistake is repeating the same bull over time. Naturally, you would get attached to him with time. Endeavor to change the bulls as often as possible. If it is possible, do not repeat a bull after the first time. Watch this video on how to find a bull
  • ​Another way to avoid jealousy is by helping your husband increase his humiliation. Jealousy is a product of pride so to deal with it, you can incorporate the use of a whip during sex
  • ​Communication is key in every relationship. Endeavor to talk to your partner whenever you start feeling a thing for the bull. Talk before and after every session. If there is the need to change a bull at any time, let your husband know. Remember, your marriage first.

How To Get The Best From Cuckolding?

Follow the proper way

To agree to engage in cuckolding means the relationship has attained a certain level of trust. If your relationship has not been so great, do not attempt to engage in cuckolding as it is going to widen the gap.

Chemistry and intimacy should exist between you and your husband. Make sure you and your husband discuss at length before engaging in the affair. Find out his other fantasies. If he has some others, are they better replacement to cuckolding? In all, make your decisions on definite factors

Be loyal and open

​To enjoy cuckolding, there is the need to be loyal to your husband. Let him in on the latest development. communication. Make sure your convictions to engage in cuckolding is strictly sexual and not emotional. Endeavor to reassure him of his security and place in your heart

Add some spice

There is no need to be sanctimonious about the affair. See it as a normal sexual affair with the aim to explore and experiment with different sex type and styles. Every sense of guilt or betrayal should be properly handled. Enjoy the level of trust, intimacy, and loyalty this kind of relationship brings.

It is even more romantic if you give your ratings of the bull to your husband. Make jest of the bull that flopped. This makes the whole relationship a pleasurable one.

Visit a therapist

​Visiting a professional to guide and advice you on the best way to go about cuckolding is a great idea. Visit your therapist regularly.

FAQs

What Does It Mean When Your Husband Wants You To Sleep With Another Man?

The term is cuckholding, and this is a sweeping fantasy among men. In this fantasy, men love to see their wives or partners have sex with another man. This fetish is allowed, but it shouldn't be allowed to seep into every aspect of the relationship. When a man gets too involved in this fantasy, it can be damaging to the relationship.

Can A Guy Tell If You Slept With Someone Else?

No matter how well you try to act as though everything's okay, you're bound to slip up one day or the other. Body language aside, men are very good at recognizing when you've been with another man. They can smell cologne, and catch additional subtle hints such as marks on your body and other physical evidence.

Why Does My Husband Not Want To Make Love To Me?

A husband may not want to be intimate with their partners not because they don't like it, but because they're experiencing a decrease in their sex drive. Their sexual intimacy desires decline around the age of 45, regardless of feelings towards their partner.

How Do You Know If He Is Satisfied With Your Performance In Bed?

Men love to be touchy with people they're sexually satisfied with. They will love to cuddle you just because, and he'll always be ready to have sex, even if you don't have it regularly. He's still up to a good old sensual session with you and is always enthusiastic about physical contact with you.

Is It Normal To Fantasize About Your Partner With Someone Else?

Yes, it is. According to relationship experts, this is a very regular occurrence, but shouldn't be overdone as this might lead to a breakdown of the real relationship. You can have a long-term partner and still have sexual fantasies about another person.

Conclusion

In all, cuckolding is not wrong. It is just one of the fantasies of your husband. Rather than becoming afraid, it is best you discuss adequately with him. This communication period is also a means to let him in on your own fantasies.

Endeavor you and your husband visit a professional to guide you through the whole process. Remember not to do anything without truly wanting it. It is best you find a reason to engage in it.

If there are any questions, feel free to drop them in the comment box below.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

20 comments on “Why Does My Husband Want Me To Sleep With Another Man? (The Honest Truth)”

    1. I love watching my beautiful wife get a good satisfying screwing from our mutual male friend. He accomplishes what I can't do with my micro penis. I love hearing his big penis slurp the lube inside her and watch his cum load drip out of her and mess our sheets up.

  1. This is the sickest thing I have ever heard of.
    The disappointment comes from people including therapists who encourage other people who are suffering from mental instability... we are not gonna last long in this world with our sins.

    1. Agreed, it's sick but for some reason I find it deeply arousing, in fact I don't think there's anything hotter in terms of acts for me. But this is deviant behavior, no doubt about it, no matter what flowery language people inclined with this use to justify the act.

  2. Having been born with a very small micro penis and early onset ed issues I had only ever been able to pleasure my wife orally and with fingers. Wanting badly to give her penetrative orgasms I started buying her realistic dildo copies of pornstar penises and she loved it. I kept buying her larger and larger ones and she currrently is addicted to her John Holmes dildo. I get off on the fact my wife is a size Queen of sorts.Recently we both wanted her to experience a real flesh and blood penis so we invited our mutual male friend over and it really turned me on seeing his really big penis go balls deep inside her without much effort on her part. Hearing her moaning as he made love to her was so hot. Seeing his cum drip from her after they both had orgasms was so stimulating,and sexy. It is so liberating to me to accept the fact that although I can never pentrate her , I accept the fact that she just needs and enjoys big penises in order to have awesome deep A and O spot orgasms. She loves me and accepts me for who I am. And I know she has needs. I too know that this is not normally accepted marital behaviour but I love watching her let go and have fun.

    1. Same as you Rob. I love my wife being f*cked by other guys. Would love to share some of her experiences with you. And some of your wife's too ?

      1. Hello Pedrosa, yes would love to share my sexy wifes experiences with you. She is so horny and has an unsatiable hunger and addiction for big c*ck now. Her p*ssy is so loose now from using the John Holmes and the Vixen Creations Gambler dildo that she was able to accomodate our mutual friends cock and a very hung college guys cock at the same time. Seeing both of them inside her at the same time was so hot!! Hearing her moan and seeing all their seed drip from her drives me wild????

  3. Rob. It's only a matter of time before she becomes emotionally involved with her well-endowed lover. Women naturally become emotionally involved with a man they have sex with. They just can't help themselves. Unlike men they can't separate sex from feelings or love. You will be left alone with only your hand for company. While the big package you introduced her to goes off with her. Then there's the bulls feelings. He's getting satisfying sex from a woman that appreciates him. She boosts his ego telling him how much she enjoys his package. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? If she decides to cook him a few meals, then you will know that for you, it's all over. A girlfriend of mine once said, 'Men are easy! Full stomach, empty balls! Job done!'

  4. My wife and I love each other greatly but I love her having sex with other guys. She only currently does it with 2 guys (seperateley) either at theirs or in a hotel - usually overntght but sometimes day and night.

    The deal we have is that she always tells me exactly what they got up to when she gets back - this then turns me on so much that we then have great sex with each other. Occasionally she comes back shortly after being f*cked and when I f*ck her she still has her other man's spunk inside her. That really turns me on !!

    When my wife and I f*ck I am always whispering to her one of my many fantasies that I have about her. The one I am doing at the moment is her having sex with 4 guys at the same time - one big cock in her fanny, another up her sexy ass, one in her mouth and her wanking another with her right hand. This really turns her on big time and me too. Where does anyone reckon we could set this up ?? Jane is very pretty with klong legs and a very sex arse with small but firm breasts !! Anyone fancy a bit of that ?

  5. I brought it up to the wife and she got very angry. I want her to have a MFM but don’t want her to go off be pissed off thinking I’m weird - any ideas ?

    1. hi Greg, i am as well a wife i was asked by my husband to have mfm, honestly i was very surprised, we both have the best sex, my husband is very attractive, he satisfy me more than one woman could wish, so i was wondering, why we need the third one? he do not want just to watch, he fantasies they both satisfying me, the best if they both could be in my vagina. but i have quit tiny vagina, so wondering again why. i am really trying to understand it, he just say to me he love me so much and love me to have orgasm. i should now choose the third, but i really have no clue how to start, i am not the kind whore type, and not sure if i can go even naked if i do not know the man enough. but right, what is enough to know someone and what is too much? could work a relationship me, husband and the bull? i would feel safer if it will be someone who i already know. but yes, he should be not my husband but just the third — not sure how to handle this. any advise please?

      1. My fiancé would love me to have sex with another man just so I can get pregnant. He can not get me pregnant we have been trying for 12 years. Hi I don't really know if he wants to watch or not but of course he might and I'd be ok with that. But I am not really sure about doing this just to get pregnant. Feel free to give any advice on this. Thanks ahead of time

      2. Rachael, before you even think about doing the mfm you need to ask yourself if your truly ready for this. My wife is more comfortable in having sex with men we know. Do you get aroused by the thought of other men pleasuring you or are you just doing this to please your partener? Maybe you both could roleplay other men by using lifelike dildo copies of other men. This could let you see if you enjoy another mans cock inside you and by starting out with smaller diameter dildos and working up to bigger ones would slowly stretch your pussy out. We started wife off with a Jeremy Bilding pornstar dildo and she loved the realism of it and the deep pleasures it gave her and eventually got her addicted to it. My wife likes to have two dicks in her on ocassion but she is very loose from big toy play. JustTwo average cocks is about 3-4 inches wide so you will definitelly tear if your small and it would be a bad experience for you. I would recommend stating out with a dildo close to the size of your husband and work up in diameter slowly by 1/4 inch increments. Have your partener read up on A&O spot orgasms as well as G spot O's. When you experience these you will become addicted to them and how larger cocks, or even two at once put more pressure on these spots for explosive orgasms. Yes, my wife has ridicoulous Orgasms especially with two men in her but this takes time and patience.A little warning Rachel, Once you experience these types of orgasms you will always want them 😉

  6. I have been in the Cuckolding lifestyle for over 20 years. The couples that I have selected and that have selected me, are loving, educated and professional couples. The longest relationship I experienced was 6 wonderful years. Being a Bull for a couple is an amazing responsibility that I do not take lightly. I am there to enhance a loving and strong couples relationship. I wish you all success in your endeavors.

  7. I met my wife at a gang bang, one of a half dozen or so we did with her. So I had seen other guys f*ck her quite a few times. When I proposed, I made clear to her, I would never stand in her way of f*cking other guys. I didn't and she did.
    We are now in our late 60's, and she loves to f*ck as much as ever, and I still like watching a cock go inside her. I don't know how many men have f*cked her over the years, but I do know it's well over a hundred. We have friends and neighbors drop by for a quick f*ck, and as long as she isn't busy doing something else, it isn't long before she is draining a cock.

  8. My wife was into Mmf but never wanted to do another guy without me there. She finally did it recently, and it was with a BBC! ( Her fantasy ). We had a mmf with him before. I was fine with work and she met him at a hotel and he fucked her silly and sent me pics during it. I got home from traveling the same day and his cum was still inside of her as we had sex. The entire experience turned me on, and she really enjoyed it and is going to make it a weekly thing when I am gone with work!

  9. This all sounds like mental health issues! From mother's neglect to other childhood problems or issues with one's self. It's sick. My husband has been pushing me for over 10 years to do this and it's completely against my beliefs. Now we don't even have sex and he has a massive range of issues from his childhood that I'm only just discovering. It's actually quite hurtful that he used to rarely have sex with me only when he speaks about this. I'm so discussed and turned off all men. Go deal with the real problem!!

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