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17 Telltale Signs Of A Serial Cheater

by Sonya Schwartz

Being in a relationship can be hard at times. More often than not, even the best partnerships will go through rocky patches, despite two individuals being very much in love. However, some couples often find themselves continually going through rough patches as one of them is a serial cheater. 

Getting over a partner cheating on you with another person is incredibly difficult. This is only made worse when they have been found to have been cheating on you with lots of different people. It breaks down the trust that you may have thought was strong between you and makes you question your partner and their every move. 

To stop being hurt in this way, it can be a good idea to know what the signs of serial cheaters are and what a cheater always does. It means you can identify serial cheaters before you even start dating them so you might save yourself wasting your time on someone who never wants a monogamous relationship - when you do. 

Signs Of A Serial Cheater

Not all of these signs need to be displayed by a partner who you think is likely to cheat. Only one or two can be a good indication that they may cheat or that they are likely to be always a cheater. 

1. Looking at a cellphone a lot

Looking at a cellphone a lot

People who look at their cellphone a lot when you are in the room or when you are on a date will often be someone that is either already cheating on you or could be a cheater in the future. 

Granted, some people just look at their phone a lot out of bad habits or because they have a busy job perhaps. However, it is also a sign of serial cheating because they will often be messaging with other people they are dating or sleeping with. 

2. Backs out on plans

Serial cheaters often back out on plans at the very last minute. This is due to making many more plans than they could really stick to or sometimes because they just can’t help themselves and make plans with other people that they want to date or sleep with, without a lack of respect for you. 

If this is happening in your relationship all the time, make sure that his reasons for being flakey are actually valid as otherwise, it is a key indicator of a serial cheater. 

3. Messages you at weird times of the night

Serial cheaters often text or message people they are dating at weird times of the night. This is for several reasons, but it can often be because they are just coming back from a date with the person they are having an affair with and they haven’t managed to check in with you. They want to check in with you to keep your relationship going. 

4. Goes hot and cold

Another key sign of a serial cheater is a person who is consistently blowing hot and cold with you. You may think one moment that they are really into you and that your relationship is really going somewhere - only for them to stop contacting you for days in a row. 

This can be very frustrating even if they are not cheating on you, but either way, proceed with caution if your love interest blows hot and cold. 

5. Lying

Serial cheaters are also serial liars. If your love interest is consistently lying to you and saying he was in different places than what he has previously said, you could be dating a man or woman who is already cheating on you. A cheater always has to lie to get away with their behavior. 

Some of them are better than others, but at some time or other, they will get caught up in their web of lies that you know something fishy is going on. 

6. Cagey about exclusivity

If your partner was cagey about going exclusive with you, they could well be a serial cheater. This is down to a distrust of monogamous relationships that they do not want to be in. This is a hard situation to be in if you love your partner very much, but they don’t seem to want to reciprocate your dedication. 

7. Looks at others when you are out

Serial cheaters are always on the lookout for someone else that they can sleep with. For that reason, if you catch your partner constantly looking at others when you are out - especially if they are looking someone up and down - you may well be dating someone who is capable of serial cheating.

Do call them out on this behavior either way - even if they’re not cheating on you, it’s still disrespectful to be eyeing someone up when they’re with you.

8. Breaking promises

As well as backing out on plans all the time, serial cheaters will often break promises they have made to you all the time. This is down to a lack of respect that they have for you and your relationship. They do not want to put you first and so will happily promise something, only to back out on it at a time further down the road. 

9. Never makes plans with you

If you are the one that is always making plans for you and your partner, you might be dating a serial cheater. Serial cheaters are always very slow to make plans with others as they always want to hold out for a better offer. That better offer will often be in the form of sex to them. They will always want to keep their options open.

10. Always meets up for sex

Always meets up for sex

If your partner often seems very slow to make plans with you, yet readily agrees if they know sex is on the table, you might be in a relationship where they are constantly being unfaithful. Someone with a high sex drive is far more likely to be always a cheater as they will always choose sex over monogamy.

11. They flirt with everyone

A key sign of serial cheaters is someone who is consistently and constantly cheating with anyone and everyone they ever meet. What is even more indicative of serial cheaters is if they are happy to flirt with anyone at a time when you are out together. 

If they are happy to do so, and actively seek it out, they are likely to cheat on you as it is a sign of a lack of respect that runs through your relationship. Cheaters always cheat due to not respecting the sanctity of their relationship enough.

12. They are very tactile

Not always, but more often than not, very tactile people tend to be serial cheaters. They love the physical contact of others so much that they are constantly touching others all the time to get the rush that they crave. It is an extension of flirting too and one that they will hope will develop into sex somewhere down the line. 

13. They forget about important things in your life

If you think you are dating a cheater, you may find that they are often forgetting about things you have told them or key things that are happening in your life at that point. This can be very disheartening and hurtful to you. 

The reason it is a sign of a cheater is that, again, it shows a lack of respect for you and a high level of selfish behavior - two things that make your partner think it is okay to cheat. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

14. They constantly leave the room

Cheaters often need to leave the room that their other half is in to make constant with one of the people they are cheating with. It may well be that they are often leaving the room to make work calls or other legitimate reasons, however, be sure that they are legitimate. They might be leaving the room to make plans to hook up with their affair partner. 

15. They haven’t had a long term relationship before

Serial cheaters are likely not to have had a long term relationship before. This is down to their distrust of exclusive relationships. It also means that they might not have had the relevant experience to know how to behave in relationships - or what the impact of their actions may be. 

They may well know that cheating is wrong, but they might not know the level of hurt it can actually cause. 

16. They are secretive

Cheaters are likely to be very secretive about their movements. It’s a way of being able to avoid being caught out in a lie but also a way of not having to admit what they are doing and when. If you ask your partner harmless questions about what they got up to one evening or what they did at the weekend, and they are incredibly vague, they might well be cheating on you. 

17. They are insecure

If your partner is insecure, they could have the propensity to be a cheater. The reason being is that cheaters look to other people for validation of themselves. By being attractive to lots of different people, and being able to have sexual relationships with many different people, they are helping bolster their ego and low self-esteem. 

FAQs

Can a serial cheater become faithful?

There are times that a serial cheater can become faithful. However, it is always going to be a difficult one to call and will entirely depend on the individual involved and how and why they were caught serial cheating. It is definitely a situation to proceed with care on. 

How do you identify a serial cheater?

Identifying a serial cheater is all down to keeping an eye out for any of the signs that we have mentioned above. One or two, or all of them, are signs that you are dating a serial cheater or that you are dating a person who is likely to cheat on you with someone at some point. 

Can you ever trust a cheater?

You can trust a cheater - if their behavior shows that they really have changed, or at least they really will change. Trust does take time to build up, so don’t pressurize yourself to change your relationship overnight - take things slowly and one step at a time and you’ll find trust starts to build that way. 

Why do people cheat on people they love?

It entirely depends on the cheaters involved why they cheat on the people they love. In some situations, the reasons for cheating seem more understandable, in others, it seems like the person involved is incredibly selfish and self-involved. 

What do cheaters say when confronted?

Serial cheaters will often either lie and say that the cheating you accuse them of is not true, or they will try to blame you for the fact that they are cheating. They are both the most common responses to be accused of cheating and it is a mechanism for not taking ownership of their actions. 

Signs Of A Serial Cheater - Summary

Serial cheaters often have very similar characteristics and behavioral traits. Keep an eye out for any or all of the above signs as they are crucial indicators of someone who cheats on their partner. 

They are especially characteristics of someone who can cheat on their partner consistently - either with the same individual for a long time or with several different people. Either way, if you get the impression that your partner is cheating on you - talk to them about it. The health of your relationship depends on it. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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