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12 Ways You Can Learn How To Trust Someone Again After Cheating

by Sonya Schwartz

If you have just found out that your significant other has cheated on you, you will most likely be suffering from intense sinking feelings and your mind will be working at a million miles an hour questioning and doubting every aspect of your relationship right from the beginning. 

Knowing that someone you have given your trust and love to has been unfaithful to you hurts like hell whether you’ve been in a relationship for six months or six years, but rest assured you can still have a committed, happy relationship moving forwards, whether that be with the same partner or with a new one. 

We are going to take a look at how you can make the goal of a happy, secure partnership a reality, whether you choose to move forward with your current partner who has previously been unfaithful to you, or if you choose to leave and start a relationship with someone new. Take a look at the 12 ways you can learn how to trust someone again after being cheated on.

1. Take Time Out For Yourself.

It’s vital that you take time for yourself and spend time alone or in the company of one or two friends and family. Even if you are committed to staying with the person that cheated on you, it’s essential to take a break from the situation so you can allow yourself to work through your feelings and gain some perspective on the issue. 

If you want to break up with your partner, you will want to take time for yourself and surround yourself with people in your support network to make the breakup process easier on you.

2. Communicate With Your Partner.

If you want to move forward with this person, talking about the problem and the motive behind them cheating on you is essential for you to gain understanding on the matter and figure out how you will be able to trust them again. It might be useful to see a professional therapist together if you want to work through the problem as a couple. 

If you’re not interested in staying with your partner, it’s still important to talk about their infidelity within them. Although this conversation will be incredibly difficult to have, it will help you move forward with a clearer mind and heart. 

3. But…Don’t Ask Too Much Information About The Act Of Infidelity Itself.

Even if you use all of the advice given in this article but you ask too much about the details of your partner’s infidelity itself, it’s going to be very hard to trust your partner again. If you ask about what they did in specific detail, every time you look at them the image of them having sex with someone else will pop into your head and drive you insane. If you want to stay with this person and learn to trust them again, it’s best to never ask what the sex was like, where it happened or anything of that nature.

4. Forgive Them (This Will Take Time And Perseverance).

You need to be able to forgive your partner for cheating on you in order to move forward. Now it’s important to say that this does not mean moving forward with your partner and pretending like everything is normal, rather it means that you have allowed yourself to forgive the entire situation. You certainly don’t have to forget the infidelity, and what your partner did to you was not acceptable, but you have forgiven it and can move forward more peacefully.

5. If You’re Staying, Be Committed.

If you have decided to stay, you need to make sure you are committed to improving the situation and rebuilding trust. If you stay in the relationship but you don’t try to rebuild the trust you once had for your partner and you aren’t willing to work through issues together, there is no hope. Obviously, though, it goes without saying that if your partner isn’t committed to working on it and proving their loyalty to you, you’re probably best leaving.

6. Accept That Your Relationship Has Changed.

One of the most important things when dealing with any problem is acceptance. You need to be able to accept that after the infidelity in the relationship, the relationship has changed and will never be how it used to be. However, although what your partner did to you was terrible, the change of the relationship may not necessarily be a bad thing and over time you may find a deeper, more open and honest level to the relationship.

7. Let Your Partner Show You That You Can Trust Them.

If you’re choosing to stick with your significant other and work towards rebuilding your trust, you need to let them show you that they are to be trusted. Don’t try to force your partner to be open and honest with you, instead, let them be and then show appreciation towards it. Yes, your partner screwed up and it’s not acceptable, but forcing them into acting in a certain way isn’t natural and it doesn’t help if you want to rebuild your trust in them. Trust will grow again organically over time if you’re both committed and understand each other.

8. Don’t Start Stalking Your Partner Or Controlling Them.

Don’t Start Stalking Your Partner Or Controlling Them.

When your partner cheats on you, you might want to take control of them, track their every move and know who they’re seeing, when and why. However, there is absolutely no reason for you to control or stalk your partner and it’s never going to allow you to trust in your partner again, it will just turn you into a person that you don’t want to be. As mentioned above, you need to allow your partner to show you that they are to be trusted, and you should never stalk them or try to control their life.

9. Share Your Problem With Those In The Same Boat.

Whether you want to stay in your relationship or you’re looking to move on and meet new people, the old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ really is true, and it can be really useful to connect with others that have succeeded in regaining trust either with their partner or with new partners. You can reach out to friends that have been in similar situations, join groups or even contact people on social media and they may be able to help and you show you how to trust again.

10. If You’re Moving On, Have Faith In New People.

If you decide to end things with your partner and move onto the dating scene, you need to make sure you have faith in any new person you decide to date. You can’t bring your fears of infidelity and hurt from the previous relationship into any new relationship because it’s not fair on the person you’re dating. Each person is different, and you need to trust each person unless they give you a reason not to.

11. Understand That You Were Not The Cause Of The Infidelity.

This is a really important point and one you need to understand regardless of whether you choose to leave or stay. You were not the issue in the relationship and you were not the reason your partner was unfaithful to you. You did nothing wrong and you are not to blame. Keep telling yourself this and keep building your own self-esteem.

12. Look To The Future, Not The Past.

Finally, however you decide to move forward, one of the vital things you need to do is look to the future and not to the past. By looking at what happened, and the hurt this person caused you by being unfaithful, nothing positive is going to be achieved. Keep looking forward, keep having faith and keep working on any trust issues that remain.

FAQs

Can A Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

A relationship will never be the same after cheating, but it can be rebuilt and still be successful and happy. It takes most relationships a lot of work and time to heal after infidelity, but it’s possible to still have a happy relationship once the problems have been worked through.

How Do You Gain Trust Back After Cheating?

Hopefully, this article will have shown you how to regain trust after cheating has occurred within a relationship. It takes many different steps to regain trust after unfaithfulness, as well as a significant amount of time, but it’s possible if you put the work in to heal yourself. 

Can You Ever Trust Someone Who Cheated?

This is a really personal question and it’s completely dependent on the person and the situation. One answer doesn’t fit all. But, for example, if someone admits to cheating on you once and since then has shown you every day that they are trustworthy and they are truly sorry, then this person will be easier to trust than someone who repeatedly cheats with very little concern for your feelings and doesn’t try to make the situation better.

Can You Get Back With Someone Who Cheated On You?

It’s completely up to you if you would want to get back together with someone that has cheated on you. If you feel like you can fix the problems in your relationship together and you are committed to doing so, then yes you could give it another go. 

Do You Really Love Someone If You Cheat On Them?

Most people would say no, but you can still love someone even if you cheat on them. We’re human and each individual is different and complex, meaning that some people will love someone yet still cheat on them, or others can be faithful but not in love. 

To Summarize

Hopefully, this article will help you find some clarity with how to get over cheating and how to rebuild trust in relationships and with partners. Remember to be kind to yourself, be dedicated to working on yourself and your relationships and you will get there in time. Did you like this list? If you did, leave a comment and share the article!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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