Search icon

How To Give A Lap Dance (25 Tips To Wind It Down)

July 3, 2024

Lap dances are one of the most special aspects of intimacy, especially between lovers. It tickles the imagination and helps spice up a relationship in many loving ways. The good thing about it is that it doesn’t take so much time to perform. This means it’s something you should do for your lover.

Giving a lap dance is one of the sexiest things a woman can do to grab a man’s attention. Don’t be afraid to give someone a lap dance. It’s not about having dancing skills, but your composure and confidence. 

You don’t have to take classes or put in so much effort to achieve them. It’s all about both of you enjoying and having fun with it. This means there are many approaches to give a sexy lap dance. It depends on you, your body, and how comfortable you feel doing certain things. 

But, there are many things you should know about lap dance before giving it to someone. Here are 25 tips on how to give a lap dance to someone.

25 Tips On How To Give A Lap Dance

1. Let your lap dance last for a bit

It’s funny how much time consideration is needed during a lap dance. A good lap dance shouldn’t be too short. When it’s brief, you may not achieve your goal. That’s because sometimes, it could take a guy a few minutes to start assimilating your sexy moves. So, take your time and grind on him.

You may need a minimum of two songs for starters. This means your lap dance would be a minimum of six minutes or more. Listen to them and adjust accordingly to fit your preferences. Remember, it takes you to make it perfect. So, try your best to make it last a bit. That way, everything can settle after the first few minutes.

2. Choose the perfect songs ahead of time

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to create a good playlist. If you want to give a lap dance, you should be mindful of the kind of songs you select. Choose the music you’re most comfortable with. Lap dance needs a slow and sexy kind of music to go with it.

So, pick the song you can vibe to. This is where your skill in choosing sexy music is needed. Take your time to listen to different songs. Don’t forget it’s one of the major things you need to give a perfect lap dance. Like the attention you give your job, you need to apply the same thing to achieve a good lap dance.

3. Pick and wear a comfortable outfit

There’s the comfortable part and the sexy part as well. While you’re striving to be comfortable during your lap dance, you should also wear something that would make you feel extremely sexy. It’s one of the things that would spice the session and add to your confidence.

Many people have proven lingerie with thigh-high stockings to be simple and sexy. You can add or customize that in different ways. But, don’t forget to add high heels because they blend everything beautifully. Walk on them beforehand to make sure they fit. If you want to give a good lap dance that will lead to sex, you could layer your outfit, so he strips you down gradually.

4. Keep it as simple as you can

keep it simple as you can

There’s that mentality many people have about lap dances. They feel you should do certain dance moves to spice it up. Those moves include somersaulting, splitting, or other activities they feel should be done to spice up the session. This is not bad at all if you’re flexible enough to do them.

According to research, doing a back end when you’re on your partner’s lap would be a great turn-on for him. If you can’t do this, keep it as simple as you can. If you feel your body can’t withstand certain moves, stay away from them. Your simple steps would still do the trick. That’s one good and easy way to give a perfect lap dance.

5. Do a little stretching some minutes before it

One thing you don’t want to miss is doing a little stretching before giving a lap dance. It’s good to prepare your body for something sexy, so you don’t ruin things. This is important, especially if you want to move your body in ways you haven’t done before. You should also do this if you plan to do something unusual.

Do slow stretches to prepare your joints for certain movements. It won’t only prepare your body but activate your mood to feel sexy. Stretch in ways that will prepare your hips, legs, shoulders, and neck for any move. That way, you’re sure of enough flexibility to be sexy. That’s one tip you should know to give a lap dance.

6. Pick the right environment

Lap dances require the right location or environment to be done. Normally, strip clubs have the perfect setting for it. But, your home is still fine. Wherever you choose, let it be an environment you’re comfortable in. Buy colorful bulbs, change the sheets, or rearrange your room if you feel the need to.

Even if you’re dancing to the sexiest song, if his chair is not comfortable, or the environment is unsuitable, it may ruin all your efforts. You could practice with the chair before time. Try your moves in different angles to see if the space is okay. Imagine your partner is there while you dance around it. This is a good tip you need to know to give a lap dance.

7. Design your environment with candles and dimmed lights

Dancing well to a slow song could be a perfect definition of sexy, but you need to design your environment to complement it all. You could design it with candles or dimmed lights. Try not to make it too dark, so your partner can see your moves. If you wish, you could play around with it. You could role-play, but that’s if your partner is okay with it.

Whatever you do, design a themed environment to go with it. It may not be that easy to achieve, especially if it has to do with many resources, but you can try. Remember, it’s a special occasion and should be treated as such. This is another tip you need to give a lap dance.

8. Let his mood be right

It’s a big turn-off for you and your partner if he’s not in a good mood when you’re giving him a lap dance. It doesn’t matter if you feel sexy, or how interested he looks sitting on his chair. If your partner is not happy, it may not be successful. It could be nice, but not as amazing as you expect it to be.

So, if possible, begin by treating him right beforehand. You don’t need to do anything special. Say the right words to him. Make him feel worthy of having you. If you wish, you could prepare a good meal for him before that.  As minor as your partner’s mood may seem, it’s one tip you need for great lap dancing.

9. Make sure it’s a good setting

A sexy lap dance shouldn’t only happen in strip clubs. It could happen in any good setting, including your home. You could choose your living room, bedroom, bathroom, or kitchen. But, make sure you organize it in a way you can play around with. Don’t forget you need to feel sexy in your space for a good lap dance.

When thinking of dancing, make sure you pick the right setting. It could be on your bed, couch, or balanced chair. If it’s a chair, it should be very comfortable for you. Let the setting be in a way you can alternate between squatting, sitting, and standing positions. You should be able to sit and play above your partner’s legs. 

10. Master your moves before time

Begin slowly. Place the chair where you think your partner should sit. Imagine how you want it to be. You may want to seduce him by touching your body or want him to touch. The best thing is to practice dancing beforehand. Try simple steps. You can stand in-between your partner’s legs, backing him with your head down, and butt in the air.

You could also swing your hips side to side, slowly, to the rhythm of the music to make it sexy. Alternatively, your butt is another part of your body that can do the trick. Move it in circles around your partner’s by making partial contact with his body. You could place your hand on your partner’s knees, thighs, or arms of the chair for support.

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

11. Watch lap dance videos to keep you in the mood

One way to improve your confidence is to watch videos of other girls lap dancing for their partners. Take some time to do so before learning your moves. Look at their body types and they manage to achieve their moves. Some of them could give step-by-step tutorials on lap dancing. 

When you see many of them, you unconsciously begin to imagine how you want yours to be. It may take a little effort, but with time, you’ll get used to it. Check out the simplest sexy moves. Listen to their choice of music. See how they alternate between songs to make it work out. This is one tip you need to use for lap dancing.

12. Focus on connecting with your partner

It’s not just about the music, romantic setting, or trying your best to dance in a sexy way. It’s about the connection you have with your partner. You may be concentrating on how perfect or slow you want your body to move to the rhythm of the music. But, that may not be your partner’s main focus.

He’s already in love with you and he adores you. He’ll only get to enjoy the pleasure of seeing you strip, sway your hips, lift your butt, and caress his knees in the most romantic setting. So, do everything you can to connect with your partner, especially if you aim to have sex afterward. This is an important tip for lap dancing.

13. Make him anticipate

make him anticipate

It’s a special occasion. Don’t tell him what you’re about to do. Let him wonder what you’re up to. It’s you having fun and making him feel good seeing you that way. Remember you’re the star here. So, you can start by playing the music and making your moves. Or, you could start by making a sexy gesture.

That way, you automatically turn him on without even saying a word. This is you creating the greatest pleasure by creating a good memory with your dance. Be confident in yourself and move your body like it’s the sexiest thing you know. Whether he planned to touch you or not, he would derive the best pleasure by watching you.

14. Trust yourself and be confident

Like you trust yourself to clean up well when taking a shower, lap dances require the same confidence. It’s your special day, so make the best use of it. Do your thing, while your partner watches you from his comfortable chair. Dance like you practiced. Don’t forget he’s your partner and the only person you can do this with at the moment.

Strip when you need to. Touch him when you feel your move requires it. You could rub the arms of the chair. That’s another way to turn him on without trying. He’s your partner, he’s into you, and wouldn’t mind even if you don’t move correctly to the music beat. You need to be confident in yourself to make it right.

15. Use a nice fragrance on your body

Have you ever heard of fragrance magic? Fragrances make lap dances beautiful. You can’t expect to be so sexy with a sweaty body. That’s a turn-off. You could have a quick shower before then and apply a mild fragrance to complement your dance. Depending on your partner, use the fragrance you know would be seducing to him. 

So, while you’re confident with your sexy outfit, moving your body to the rhythm of the song, make sure you’re smelling yummy. Wear it as a second outfit. This is one important thing some people forget to add before lap dancing. It doesn’t only complement your outfit, but make your partner long to touch you. Don’t forget to use this great tip.

16. Alternate the pace of your moves to make it exciting

Go all crazy by alternating your moves while lap dancing. This also depends on your choice of song. Start slowly by moving one leg forward towards your partner’s sitting position. Sway your hips and butt slowly. You could move around his chair, gently touching his neck and rubbing his shoulders. 

Feel free to walk a little bit faster in-between his legs. Alternate your movement paces. Make it as crazy as you can, while still having fun. But, make sure you don’t overdo it. Lap dances could feel a little bit like harassment if you don’t control certain things. That could make your partner have less fun or pleasure watching you. This is another thing you should keep in mind.

17. Make a slow entrance

One of the sexiest things to do during lap dances is, to begin with, a slow entrance. That’s because if you start slowly, you can get hold of yourself and coordinate your next move. It doesn’t matter if you do it with your hips, butt, knees, or neck. Do it as slowly and dramatically as possible.

You could also use your arms to touch your body. If you’re not comfortable with any of these suggestions, you could come up with yours. You know your body and what your partner appreciates most. So, it’s left for you to take action in achieving it. Slow entrances do a lot to improve lap dances until you’re comfortable with lap dancing.

18. Make moves with close body contact

Striptease it. Stand far away and move close to him, gradually. You can maintain eye contact. Calculate your sexy moves with your chosen song, until the last part of the song ends on your partner's lap. When it does, you can start grinding on him, slowly, according to the pace of the song.

Take off your layered clothes step by step. You can do this while grinding his laps. Alternatively, you can move around him, while letting your stripped body touch his neck and shoulders. If you’re uncomfortable with this, you could just strip a few things and leave the rest for later. Let his imagination do the trick, while he longs to touch you.

19. Occupy yourself before the dance to reduce nervousness

When it comes to giving lap dances, many people get nervous. That’s because they let their minds think. It may not be as easy as eating a piece of cake, but you can do it. So, to avoid being nervous, try watching some comedy skits to laugh off the tension.

Alternatively, you could see couples’ reality shows, movies, or other dance videos. You could also talk about something else with a friend over the phone. The aim is to stop you from overthinking, so you can have a clear mind when the time comes. 

Sometimes, nervousness could discourage you from executing some good plans. This is something you should do, especially if you’re an overthinking person.

20. Practice your moves with your potential outfit

No matter how comfortable you are with your moves, you need to practice with your sexy lingerie to be safe. It’s normal to think you should reserve your new clothes for a great day. But, in reality, it’s better to feel good wearing it than feeling discomfort during the dance.

You could launder it after your little practice. On the other hand, you could wear it that day and practice for a few hours before your partner gets back. Whatever the case may be, you need to try dancing with your outfit to be sure you’ll be okay dancing until it. Don’t forget to also practice with your high heels.

21. Get a comfortable chair for him

This is a must. One of the most important things to do before giving a lap dance is getting a comfortable chair for your partner to sit in. It’s not just about him, but you. Don’t forget you’re going to grind on him and the arms of the chair may most likely be one of your supports. 

There’s no chair designed specifically for lap dances, but there are comfortable ones. So, if your reading chair is balanced enough, use it. Your dining chair could also do the trick. Or, you could come up with a nice idea of a good DIY chair. Get a comfortable chair for your partner.

22. You can spice it up with extra dance moves

Remember how veggies add a special look and crunchiness to foods? That’s the same thing your extra moves would do if you add any. It’s for you, so make sure it’s something you can achieve. Even if it means blowing your partner’s neck softly from behind.

After trying out your rehearsed moves, you may want to do something a little extra, depending on your partner’s preferences. It may not be anything related to movement, you could make a romantic gesture or two to complement everything move you’ve made during the session. But, this is not so necessary. It’s up to you as an individual.

23. End it strong and leave him wanting more

end it strong and leave him wanting more

It’s good for you to extend the duration of a lap dance for as long as you can. But don’t forget, it’s also necessary to leave them asking for more. Depending on how you do it, you could get them to enjoy the pleasure of many things. These include asking you to continue, requesting another session, touching you, or going more intimate with you.

Whatever the case may be, try your best to make your last move a deal-breaker. This doesn’t mean you should kill yourself, break your arms, or do something that unusual that would affect any part of your body in the future. It could be as little as whispering sweet nothings over your partner’s shoulders. 

24. Keep moving even when you miss a step

Now, this is where confidence comes into play. Mistakes happen to people all the time. This is why it’s very normal to miss a step when giving a lap dance. It happens, especially when you're wearing shoes that are not so comfortable. It could also be the layers of your outfit.

So, be confident. Even if you mistakenly hit your partner while dancing, stylishly rub that spot to ease any pain it may cause. But, that’s if he feels it, anyway. Your partner may not notice your mistakes because his focus would be on the mood you’re setting for him. Always keep this in mind.

25. Have fun with it

You should always try to have fun whenever you’re doing anything for your pleasure. The same thing applies to your work life again. It helps reduce any chances of breaking down. So when you’re making sexy moves, remember to flow with the whole mood, too. 

Be yourself. That’s what makes the entire session beautiful and intimate. Remember you’re doing it willingly. Even lap dancers that perform based on paid commissions try their best to have fun with it. This is why they enjoy doing it at strip clubs or whenever they’re paid for it. This is one important tip to have in mind. It will help improve your level of confidence.


What do lap dances consist of?

It’s an erotic dance performed on a person’s lap. It could either involve direct contact of the dancer’s body parts with the patron, or a short distance between the bodies. It involves seductive poses with hips and sometimes, somersaulting. But, it also depends on the dancer giving it.

How long should a lap dance last?

A typical good lap dance should last for the duration of two songs. This means it should be a minimum of six or eight minutes, depending on your choice of song. But, that’s left to you, your partner, and what you want to achieve. Remember it’s about your comfort and your stamina.

How much should you pay for a lap dance?

There’s no fixed price for it. According to research, most lap dances range from $10 to $30. But, that depends on the region or location you request for one. After paying for that, you may need to tip the dancer for their wonderful service. Sometimes, a dancer could offer to do it for free.

How do you dance to your lover?

It depends on your lover and his personality. Have a conversation with him before planning for it. Ask him what turns him on. You could rub his shoulders, arms, or sway your hips and grind on him according to the beat of the music. Don’t forget to make eye contact when you’re on it.

Can you get an STD from just rubbing?

Rubbing could be safer compared to sex, but you could still get an STD from it. It’s not unhealthy to try it, even though it has its disadvantages. If someone’s infected skin rubs against yours, you could also be affected. So, you should be careful about doing anything related to intimate rubbing.

In Summary

There are numerous tips for lap dances. You can start with the 25 tips I’ve mentioned here. If possible, you could also tweak them to fit your preferences. I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did, please feel free to drop a comment and share it with others.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


Join Our Newsletter

Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life.
Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.