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15 Tips on How to Ask for Nudes Properly

Last updated on November 17, 2022 by Brooke Aldrich

Sending nude photos to your significant other is a great way to spice up your current relationship and sex life. It can also help to take a new relationship to the next level. In fact, many sexting researchers say that “sexting can occur in healthy and perhaps even relationship-enhancing ways when it occurs between consenting adults.”

However, don’t just ask your partner to “send nudes.” It may come across as abrupt and even creepy. Sending nudes may feel comfortable for you, but not everyone feels the same way. 

Many women and men are self-conscious about their bodies, worry that you’ll share their photos online, and may have other online privacy concerns. Whatever the reason, respect their decision to opt-out. The best way to ask for nudes is by not requesting your partner to send nudes.

Best Ways to Ask for Nudes – 15 Tips

There is good news, though! You can learn how to politely ask for nudes from your girlfriend or boyfriend. These suggestions may help you to get the results you want. Below are 15 tips to help you feel more confident in asking for nudes. 

1. Form a trusting relationship

Before requesting anyone to send you nude photos, you should establish trust in your relationship. This is rule number 1 in the “how to ask for nudes” guidebook. If the person you’re dating doesn't trust you for any reason, you can guarantee they won't feel confident sending nude pictures to you.

Brene Brown is an expert on building trust in relationships. She has an entire course about trust. However, below are two elements of trust that need to be in place before requesting nude photos from your significant other:

  • Integrity: Brene Brown defines integrity as "choosing courage over comfort. Choosing what's right over what's fun, fast, or easy." In other words, do what you say you are going to do and honor your word.
  • Vault: Vault means to keep personal things only between you and your partner. Brene Brown says this about vault, "we cannot trust someone if they share our personal information with others without our permission. It needs to be as though that information is in a vault that's only accessible to the folks we purposely told." 

If you establish this level of trust with someone you're dating, then you're on the right track. Once you and your partner feel safe together, you'll feel more comfortable asking for nudes. 

2. Make sure you’ve already been intimate

make sure you've already been intimate

According to researcher Rob Weisskirch, “sexting early in a relationship (or before a real relationship has formed) may be a sign of relational anxiety or someone who is not interested in a long-term relationship.” 

Therefore, timing is everything. Before you ask, check in with yourself first. Ask yourself what your intentions are for wanting to send and receive nudes.

If you’ve already been intimate with your partner, there are no more physical surprises!

It’s easier to feel confident to send nudes and request nudes at this point in a relationship. It can also add an element of tension and spice up your sex life. 

3. Don’t expect them to come your way

Even if you’ve established safety and trust in your partnership, don’t expect your partner to send nudes whenever you’re in the mood. Remember, it’s always up to the other person if they feel comfortable sending nudes. 

Be patient and respectful and have a conversation about it. You may need more time to learn what turns your partner on before asking them to send you nudes.

4. Give plenty of compliments

If and when your partner does send you nude photos, be generous with your compliments. Your significant other wants you to think they are sexy and attractive. Plus, they are being vulnerable by sharing their nude body with you. Be supportive and admire them as much as possible. 

If you act indifferent or joke around when your partner sends you a photo, it may hurt their feelings. And you’re less likely to get pics in the future!

5. Don’t just send sexy photos

Don’t just send sexy photos to a new person you’re dating for the first time. Or to anyone, for that matter. It may feel alarming, rude, and considered a red flag if you send photos without consent. It also puts a lot of pressure on the other person and may make them feel uncomfortable. 

6. Mention that you’d like to try something new

Sending nude photos is a great way to spice up your sex life. If you'd like to try something new and exciting, like sexting, talk to your partner about it. Make sure to have this conversation when you're both in the right state of mind, not right after your partner had a terrible day at work.

When you do have the conversation, share your reasons and desires for sending nude photos. By being vulnerable and speaking up, you may convince and inspire your partner to do the same. 

Allow your partner some time to choose after you share your fantasy. Once they decide, respect their choice either way.

7. Get them in the mood with sexting

One of the best ways to get someone in the mood is to start sexting. A new study finds that “more than 80% of adults admit to sending or receiving sexually explicit text messages.” It may also increase relationship satisfaction. 

Don’t rush into this; timing is everything. Make sure that your partner is not out with friends or family. If you’re in the clear, send a flirty text and a sexy selfie. Then, let your partner know how hot you think they are.

Sexting is especially great if you’re in a long-distance relationship. It can help to keep the passion alive when you’re not together. For more ideas on how to sext with your boyfriend, check out this article.

8. How to ask for nudes without asking

how to ask for nudes without asking
  • Don’t ask at the wrong time:

Asking for nudes at the wrong time can be a disaster! Many people who are randomly asked to send nudes tend to see this as a red flag. In order to ask for nudes without asking, take into account the timing.

  • Flirt with your partner to get them in the mood:

Once trust is established, you can start by sending a sexy message to your boyfriend to see if they are in the mood. Your partner may reciprocate with a photo similar to yours.

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9. Let your partner make the decision

Most men and women do not like pressure. Always allow your partner to make a choice to send a nude photo or not. You can encourage them and let them know that you would enjoy having one, but the ball is in their court. Respect, respect, respect! 

10. Make sure you both feel comfortable and safe

Many couples have different levels of sexual activity that they feel comfortable with. Make sure when engaging in sexting that you check in with the other person. If they say, "I'm not in the mood right now," or "can we do this another time?" Honor their choice. 

The more you both respect each other's decisions, the more comfortable and safe you will both feel in communicating your needs. And just because your partner decides not to be sending nudes right now doesn't mean they won't want to in the future.

11. Be vulnerable first

Be willing to send nudes to your partner first. Instead of asking them to go first, tell your partner that you think it would be sexy to send them a picture. 

You can start by sending a picture of yourself in some sexy lingerie. Many men are visual and love to see their women’s naked bodies. 

12. Be grateful when pics are sent

When your partner does send you nude pics, be interested and grateful. Don’t joke around or hurt their feelings by asking for a better photo. 

Instead, let your partner know how hot you think their body looks naked. The more grateful you are, the more likely your partner will feel validated and want to send you more. 

13. Talk about the last time you were intimate

talk about the last time you were intimate

Another best way to ask for nudes is to bring up the last time you both had sex together. If you can’t hang out with your partner in person for some reason, you can let them know that you’re thinking about the last time you had sex. Bring up the juicy details.

Depending on how your partner responds, you can continue sexting. And as you know, sexting can lead to sending and receiving sexy photos. 

14. How to ask a guy for nudes:

  • Build trust and safety. Asking for nudes from a guy requires trust and safety in your relationship. Refer back to tip number one for more information on how to create trust.
  • Start by flirting. He may be open to the possibility if you start slowly. If he’s responsive to your sexy conversations and pictures, he will be more likely to send nudes. Generally, sending naughty messages to your partner will make it normal and lead to more sexy pictures in the future. 

15. How to ask your girlfriend for nudes:

  • Wanna know how to ask for nudes? Do not send a message that says, "send nudes” or “why don’t you send me nudes?” It's a big turn-off for most women.
  • Build trust and safety-always: Building trust is repeated here for girls, too, because it's a vital step. It doesn't matter if you're asking a guy or a girl for nudes.
  • Try sexting: Sexting is proven to be fun for girls too! But do make sure you're not texting her naughty things when she is teaching a bunch of kindergartners. When in doubt, don't send nude pics! If she's home, she'll be more willing to engage in naughty conversations with you. 


What do guys think when girls ask for a nude photo?

It depends on the guy. The best way to find out is to ask the guy what he thinks about sending nudes. If you ask him and he is uncomfortable with the question, leave it alone. If he says he thinks it is endearing or sexy, then you can proceed. It all comes down to communication and consent.

Should I ask before sending a nude?

Yes, it’s essential to ask for permission before you send any nudes. Having consent should be the first step. Some people are uncomfortable receiving nudes, and that’s okay! Getting rejected is better than doing something the other person isn’t comfortable with. This article will help you learn how to ask for nudes properly.

What does it mean when a guy shows you pictures of himself?

It depends on the type of photo the guy is sending you. If it is a selfie, he probably wants you to compliment him and he wants you to think he is attractive. However, if it is an erotic photo he probably wants a sexual relationship with you too.

Is sexting without photos a crime?

Sexting isn’t a crime without photos if it’s between two consenting adults. Some people may not want to send nude photos, but may enjoy sexting without photos. It’s a great way to enjoy sexting if your partner prefers not to send photos.

What to do if someone has nude pics of you?

It depends on the situation. If you’re in a trusting and safe relationship, you don’t have anything to worry about. However, if you don’t trust them, you can always ask them to delete the photos. If the person refuses to delete or threatens to share, you can report this person. The laws on these crimes vary from state to state.


Many men and women enjoy sexting together. As long as there is trust, safety, and consent within the relationship it can be a fun way to increase intimacy. Refer back to these 15 tips and best ways to ask for nudes whenever you want to ask without asking. Also, if you enjoyed this article, please remember to share!

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Brooke Aldrich
I’m Brooke Aldrich, a writer and relationship enthusiast. I love writing, reading, and researching simple ways to help people become better communicators. I’m currently studying creative writing at Arapahoe Community College in Denver, Colorado. I’ve been happily married to my husband for one year, and we just adopted an adorable cat named Luna.

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