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Why He Can't Let You Go (11 Possible Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

Every couple goes through different phases in a relationship. They could be good, bad, or a mixture of all. Whatever the case may be, the hardest of them all is letting go after realizing things may not work out between you two.

Meeting a guy you have feelings for and eventually getting involved with is one of the sweetest things that could happen to a girl. Sometimes, you may not even be involved. You may just both have a wild time together for a couple of days, weeks, or months. 

Then suddenly, you lose feelings for him or he doesn’t seem exactly interested as he used to be when you both started out together. You may want to let go because you may feel one way to solve this would be to go separate ways even though your heart may tell you to keep trying. 

Sometimes, the man may find it really hard to accept the pain of letting you go, which may make it even more complicated. This does not just happen out of the blue, it happens most times because of certain causes best known to the man or guy involved. 

You’re probably wondering what could make a man hold on to you even when he knows it may not work out. Keep reading to know 11 reasons why they do this.

11 Reasons Why He Can’t Let You Go

1. He genuinely loves you

Some guys find it hard to commit to one girl. A part of this is the reason why they take the time to have a stable partner. So, if you showed him show much love and appreciation during your time together, it may be hard for him to get you off his mind. 

Amidst the flirtatious lifestyle he may have had with a girl or a couple of girls in his life before you, he may have been looking for a girl he could trust his heart to fall in love with and may have found it only with you. From this point, he may be afraid of making mistakes. So he may be caught in between staying with you and living the life he’s already used to.

2. You’re more understanding than anyone else

You’re more understanding than anyone else

One thing every man loves so much is a lady that understands him at all times. Life is much easier for them when they don’t have to explain a lot about everything they do. They love it when a girl knows their whereabouts, understands their explanations with little or no argument, and knows why they would behave a certain way.

It’s hard to let you go if he has experienced this part of you. So, if this guy was your boyfriend, you broke up, and he has refused to let you go, it could be that nobody really understands him the way you do. He could use it as a reason to keep hanging around. 

3. He loves your sense of humor

Guys love girls with a great sense of humor. So, if you’re patient enough and you get over things that trigger your emotions easily, then you’d be easy for him to get along with. Also, guys love girls that are happy most times and see the positives in everything. Or, on the other hand, you could relate to his sense of humor as well.

This may sound little or insignificant but great jokes are a big deal for some guys and they’d rather use it as a reason to keep you around. It always creates that happy atmosphere to make them comfortable enough. It may be why he’s still attached to you and it could be unconsciously.

4. You’re independent

A girl’s independence does work on a man’s heart. It could be of great use during their relationship when they need to make certain choices that could affect them for life. They would want a woman they can easily be safe with, especially when they need someone to count on in making some decisions.

If you possess this attribute and more on the giving side, it doesn’t matter whether you’re officially his ex or not, it may be hard for him to let you go that fast especially if his new partner is more on the receiving end. After all, the heart wants what it wants and love must not necessarily be involved.

5. You’re very beautiful in and out

One thing that could make a man stick around could be that you have a beautiful heart with a very attractive physical appearance. Having those features could keep men’s eyes fixed on you whether they want to be involved with you or not. Don’t get this wrong, it’s not bad to be beautiful all-around at all.

When you’re beautiful and you show kindness, respect, and loyalty to a man, on the good side, you have a chance of keeping him for a long time. But on the bad side, keeping him for long may not end up well especially if you're not comfortable being with him in a relationship. It could contribute to his little attachment to you. 

6. He wants to have sex

This might be surprising but this happens most times, whether it’s in relationships or not. Some men just need sex and they may hang around you because they’re sexually attracted to you. Sometimes, they don’t need to be in relationships for that, they just need to have a girl they can communicate within the bed and that’s it.

For women, it may be a form of reconnecting with an ex but it’s not the same for men. So observe him. If it always ends in sex, sexts, or sex talks whenever he comes back or tries to reach out. If it does, maybe that could be why he keeps coming back. But it’s nothing to worry about if you’re fine with it.

7. Loneliness could be part of it

Loneliness could be part of it

A lot of people tend to rely on others to fill up a particular void. So, if you’re not in a relationship anymore or you were never together but he keeps coming around, this could be the problem. He may just need to have someone on his mind that he could turn to at any moment to either talk to, spend time with, or be sure would always have his back.

He could just be lonely, holding on to you, and feeling scared of not finding someone to fill up the emptiness. It happens to so many men even though most times, they have no idea what they’re going through. They just know they don’t want to be alone.  

9. He’s insecure

Many times, it’s hard for someone who is insecure to make stable decisions. Because of how conscious they are with their flaws, they could keep second-guessing themselves and dragging others into it. It’s the same scenario with a man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you but keeps coming around. He may feel he’s not wanted by anybody else in the world.

So sometimes, he could feel he really loves you, while other times, he may just feel he’s not good enough for you. Those same flaws could make him scared of finding someone else to be with because he could feel they’re out of his league and you’re the only person that can understand them, hence always making him come back to you for no particular reason.

10. His choices could be influenced by a third party

Third parties sometimes influence people’s decisions and it’s the same thing when it comes to men who want to go into relationships (or are already there), have some issues, and are confused if to leave or stay. It could be friends, family members, or acquaintances. He may still want to be with you, but he could be advised in the opposite direction by his loved ones.

If a guy is in this situation, he could have some mixed-up thoughts and feelings when it comes to relationships. He may like you and show that he does, but his decisions could be affected by other people's suggestions, and in this case, he is bound to be in and out occasionally.

11. He wants to have you around

A lot of people like holding on to other people to break the silence when they’re bored. Sometimes, a guy may not really want to be with you, he could just need company; someone to just turn around and see whenever he feels he’s dying of silence.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

You may not stand a chance of enjoying your personal life if you try building relationships with people like this. 

So, if they don’t seem interested in investing emotionally but you’re always there for them when they need a listening ear—someone to hang out with or get some advice from. Or someone to just visit without having anything to talk about. It may take some time for them to let you go.

12. He can’t stand seeing you with someone else

Jealousy makes people act a certain way; the overprotective, domineering, annoying, intrusion of privacy. Whether you’re together or not, they just don’t want to see you with other men. A lot of them even get violent when they do which is bad on a high level. They wouldn’t date you but they can’t see you with another man.

This would keep them coming around, just to see and confirm that you’re not spending time with some other person. And even if you do, it must not be romantic, flirtatious, or something of that sort. Also, they always have to be in the scene. If it’s this, you’ll also get to know with time. 


Why he won’t let go?

If a guy says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and he doesn’t want to let you go, he may be feeling lonely and could have the fear of losing you without finding any girl to fill the void you leave behind. 

What does it mean when you can’t let go of someone?

There are a lot of things that prevent people from letting others go. One reason could be because you’re afraid of finding love or another partner. Another reason could be because you may be afraid of heartbreak.

How do you let go of a guy who won’t commit?

Think of the pros of letting him go and think of the love you have for yourself and your mental health. Face the reality of the situation. Remember to think about what’s best for you and how to achieve it. With time, you’ll get over it.

What does it mean when a guy keeps coming back to you?

Men are attracted to honest women with positive vibes. He could still be deeply connected to you on so many levels; which could be loyalty, selfless love from you, and probably your tolerance and understanding for him.

Why is letting go so hard?

Letting go is hard because it feels like letting go of a developed aspect of you that you had taken time to build. So it’s like leaving a part of your life behind on other terms that are best for your growth. 

In Summary

When a relationship is low on positive vibes and a man refuses to let go, read through and use the 11 reasons I mentioned earlier and it would be easier to know the right steps to take for better solutions. Feel free to leave a comment and share this article if you enjoyed it.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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