Are you desperate for your ex to cease contact with you?
Is he not getting the message that your relationship is definitely over?
Are you looking for ways to show him that you don’t care about him any more?
First off, I’d recommend that you don’t be too harsh on this guy. A lot of men are recommended to fight for their ex-girlfriend to prove their love. The problem is: some take it too far and can’t take no for an answer.
With that said, there are some particularly effective ways to make this guy give up. And I’ve listed 21 things you can do below. Try to make as many of these actions as possible.
Then, if you want to check that this guy is no longer obsessing over you, enter these details into this online communications tracker.
This tool will discreetly show you who he’s been trying to contact, what apps he’s using, and various other details about his online activity.
I know a lot of women using this clever tool to keep tabs on ex-partners they want to win back. But, it can also be used to show you whether this guy has given up on you and moved on with his life too. It’s a great way to secure peace of mind.
Either way, the tool is 100% discreet, so you don’t have to worry about him discovering that he’s being tracked.
With that said, let’s now take a look at what you can do to prove that you don’t care about this dude any more.
Is this really what you want? If it has the opposite of the effect you hoped for, would you be okay with it? Say your whole reason for trying to do this is so he realizes your worth and comes back, but he chooses to move on instead, then what happens to your relationship?
Make sure you think of all the things this person did to make you consider this in the first place. It will get hard along the way, and if your resolution isn't strong enough, you might reach out to him just to talk, and everything crumbles from there. If you're still convinced this is what you want, see the next points…
Keeping busy is a temporary remedy that has helped many people through the hardest part of a breakup, and it can help you here too. The more time you have on your hands, the more likely you are to get tempted to reach out. Trust me, you don't want that.
What you want to do is find something fruitful to do with your time, maybe embark on a self-improvement journey. Sharpen your skills, take on a tougher routine at the gym, get sexier and better. Of course, you can always feign being occupied, but it's not just more believable if it's real, you also get something good out of it.
While likes and engagements can be great, social media can do so much more for us than massage our ego. Use this tool to your advantage when you set out to reach new life, career, or health goals. Post your progress to keep yourself accountable and interact with others who are on a similar path.
This has several benefits, with the most significant of them being that you get to stay motivated, and your guy sees you have other important things going for you. Leaves him guessing if there'd still be room for him in your life or you're more interested in bigger and better people now.
When I'm still hung up on a guy, all I want to do is talk about my feelings, especially with my friends which is very counterproductive. It's bad enough that he still gets to live rent-free in your head after everything, don't let him win by setting yourself up for unnecessary slip-ups.
If it's been a minute since your relationship went awry, you may find yourself talking more about the good times, forgetting the terrible ones. Or worse, it gets back to him somehow that you're still pining over him, and there goes your entire plan.
"It's just going to be physical, I'm done with every other thing with him." Lol. If his hold over you is so strong that you want to go back for one last taste, that is even more reason to run far away. Sex complicates things, especially for us women, and it shows we still care.
You may go in thinking he's been demoted to a mere booty call but find yourself confessing undying love mid-orgasm one day. It doesn’t matter how much you say you don’t care, it's an avoidable risk, don't take it.
I'm sure you know some things will have to change in the way you interact with this guy going forward. For starters, you need to stop dropping by his place to 'check on him' and even calling first.
Keep the communication line open so if he wants to see or talk to you, he knows where to find you. Even if you happen to bump into each other every day, say hello if you make eye contact and go about your business like he isn't there.
Now, keeping the communication line open isn't the same as checking your phone every five minutes to see if he called or texted. You don't want him to get a hint of excitement in your tone when you talk. Let the phone ring a while before you pick up, maybe even miss some calls on purpose. The same goes for texting, let your energy reflect that he's no longer a priority to you.
You might even limit your talk time with him by refusing to answer his calls or texts late at night and early in the morning. All of these send him the exact message you want – that you no longer care.
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When he finally catches you on the phone, he'd probably want to start with small talks, maybe even expect an apology for the missed calls. I'd skip the explanation altogether, but if you wish to explain, keep it curt. Something like, "I was busy. What's up?"
Keep in mind that you also don't want to talk to him with an attitude, so save the passive-aggressive tone. The more normal you sound, the more likely he is to get the sense that nothing else happened, you just don't care about him anymore.
Or you could do away with communication altogether, so it hits him at once. Imagine the look on his face when you randomly come up in a conversation, and he hears that you moved or changed your number from someone else. The realization that you don't care or rate him enough to tell him something like that would sting even if he isn't so into you anymore.
Depending on the relationship you have/had with this guy, he has most likely been your confidant at some point. The one you ran your ideas by before presenting them. We don't have that kind of connection with everyone, so of course, you miss him for it sometimes.
Nevertheless, asking what he thinks goes against what you're trying to do here, which, need I remind you, is showing you do not care for or about him any longer.
Unfortunately, having one less person to talk to won't be the only inconvenience you have to endure. You should probably also get used to doing without the fringe benefits being emotionally attached to him afforded you.
Perhaps when you were dating, you could call him whenever you needed something fixed around the house. And somehow, through the breakup and everything, the culture stuck. Well, it has to go now. Call a handyman for your next fix and the one after that. Before you know it, you'd become used to it.
If your relationship lasted long enough for you two to talk about your short-term goals and the likes, you probably agreed on trying some things together. It can be anything from trying a brownie recipe to going backpacking or skydiving over the Bahamas. You can decide to do them alone or with your friends, just make sure to have loads of fun and update it on your Instagram.
You already know not to tell him about it beforehand, so you get the nostalgia it brings him as a bonus. The main prize would be the message sent to the guy that you're done putting your life on hold for him.
Some men act like they don't care about birthdays, as though remembering anniversary dates is a 'woman’s thing,' yet they lowkey love it when you make an effort. If your guy has been enjoying this privilege since your relationship started, consider pausing it for now.
He may not get it right away even though you've never missed talking to him on occasions like his birthday, couple rituals, anniversary, etc., and you 'forget' this time. But he sure will if you forget the next time and maybe the following one.
If you're keeping it 100%, you'll admit that the reason you're trying so hard to make him see you don't care is that you actually do. And that's okay. Maybe your broken heart is already mid-recovery, or you are still in the early stages.
Say, for instance, you're still stuck on the anger phase, try not to let it show in your demeanor when you bump into him. Keep it brief but polite. Also, try and maintain a no-flirt zone with him. You can't afford to give hot and cold vibes.
If you happen to run in the same circle, perhaps the guy’s friends have become yours or vice versa, you may have to be in the same place sometimes. When that happens, be yourself with everyone else but don't pay him too much attention.
If you want to, you can flirt with other guys you like while he watches. If he isn't there, but his friends are, it'll probably still get to him.
Then again, you don't need to get extra playful with a guy to make another one jealous. In a way, that might even play to his ego if he senses you're doing it for him to notice. However, he won't be able to ignore seeing you having the time of your life with exactly zero effort to incite jealousy.
Go out with your girls to concerts, parties, hiking, volunteering, whatever you enjoy. As usual, post about them and leave the rest to social media.
On the other hand, you may find yourself in an awkward situation if you act like you don't care then lose your cool when you see other ladies with him. You have to keep the same energy and shrug it off even if they make out in front of you.
This may surprise you, but women don't have a monopoly on using flirting as a weapon to make someone jealous. Men do it too. It's up to you to walk away and not give him the satisfaction.
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Closing the care factory means you’re no longer obliged to make sacrifices for this fellow. If he asks for your help on something, you can choose to say yes or refuse if it isn't convenient. He's just another random guy now, no special treatment for someone who treats you like crap.
Again, you want to try not to be icy to him. A little bit of politeness does it, and remember to keep your interactions as brief as possible.
Unless in the above instance where his friends have become an important part of your life you can't leave behind, dump them. Okay, more like don't keep up with them. If you have no prior issues, there's no reason to be rude to them, just keep things casual.
Now that the link between you guys is no longer worth anything to you, you don't want them misinterpreting hanging out as still being interested in him.
You could go through the most obvious 'move on' route and start dating. I wouldn't recommend this, though, if you still have some feelings to sort through. It wouldn't be fair to bring someone else into your fight.
The good news is that you don't actually have to date someone to look like you do so thanks to online dating. Just talk about your new partner and post pictures with a guy he doesn't know on Social media once in a while. It’s better to do this without showing the new guy’s face, the mystery helps.
You could simply just care less about what he thinks you are or aren't doing and live your life. Look back on how far you've come since you decided to put yourself first and get over someone who treats you like he does/did.
The process of learning to stop caring may not be easy, but each day you spend without needing him is a win. Celebrate that independence and enjoy it to the fullest.
The best way to make a guy worry about losing you is to act as if you no longer care about him. Stop carrying him along on what is going on in your life, and don't ask about him. Make yourself less available than you used to be, and it's only a matter of time.
If you believe there's still a chance he might have a change of heart, you can have a conversation with him about it and ask what you can do. Arrange to spend more quality time together. If nothing changes, you may need to count your losses and let him go.
To make someone realize your worth, you simply have to stop offering what they've been getting from you that no one else offers. If your attention has been under appreciated, let them see less of you. In the meantime, keep busy and spend time with other people who value your company.
Notice the way he handles matters that are related to you or your relationship. A guy who loves you will make you a priority, not the one he gets to when there's nothing else to do. He should also be reasonably protective of what you have and be proactive in showing you how he feels.
Yes, it is possible for a man to miss you more when you haven't seen or talked in a while. Something about a familiar presence going away would do that to a person. You might be waiting a long time, though, if you're always the one who reaches out first.
I guess the long and short of making a man see you no longer care is to fake it till you make it. Keep your expectations low, and don't beat yourself up too hard when you slip. If you have tried-and-tested ways I didn't mention, kindly share them in the comments and also share the article if you liked it.
Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.
A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!
The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…
That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.
In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.
I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.
After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.
I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.
Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.
I can’t thank them enough.