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White Lies In A Relationship (9 Important Things To Know)

by Sonya Schwartz

You may be wondering whether it is okay to tell white lies to your partner when you are in a relationship. Most people will use white lies throughout their lives, and to some, it is a natural thing to do. However, how do white lies affect a relationship? Can they even ruin a relationship? Keep reading to find out.

Sometimes we let ourselves tell a white lie, whether it is to get ourselves out of trouble or to save the feelings of another. However, it is usually not a good idea to start telling lies to your partner when you are in a relationship, even if they are small lies. It almost sets a precedent and the lies start to get bigger over time, eventually ruining the trust between you. 

White lies are often told when someone wants to avoid confrontation or conflict or to shield themselves from blame. They are often used during breakups, to try to soften the blow. If you often tell white lies, it is likely that your partner already knows you are doing so, thus it is pointless to tell white lies and will likely result in the ruin of your relationship if you don’t stop. 

Examples Of White Lies In Relationships

Here are 4 examples of white lies in relationships:

1. “I’ll message you”

This may be the most common white lie that is used in relationships, especially early on in dating. If you know that you don’t see a future with someone, it is important, to be honest with them and avoid lying to them about being in touch. If you know you will never message them again, don’t tell them that you will do so. 

This white lie is used to protect your own feelings and it is a selfish way to act. You should always tell the truth in dating and relationships and avoid using little white lies just to protect your own feelings and ego. It is not fair to the other person, don’t string someone along just because letting them down seems like too much effort

2. “You are the one” 

You are the one

Don’t say to someone that they are “the one” if you still think about other people. This is especially true if you are still dating other people at the same time. If you are not happy in the relationship don’t say that they are “the one” just because they have said it to you or because you think it is the right thing to do. 

If you are not happy in your relationship, make it clear that you want to end it and allow both of you to move on. It is not healthy or fair to stay in a relationship that is no longer making you happy. Make it clear how you feel about the other person rather than dragging out the process for your own selfish reasons. 

3. “I’m okay”

If you are not happy in a relationship and you don’t feel okay, don’t lie and say that you are. If you are experiencing issues in your relationship or with your partner, don’t hide them away. It is much easier to fix issues early before they become too deep. If you let things go for too long without telling your partner how you feel, you may not be able to save your relationship. 

Also, if you are not happy in your relationship and you can no longer see a future with this person, don’t say that you are okay and put on a happy face just because it is the easier option. It is going to be harder in the future if you pretend that you are okay. Don’t lie to yourself or your partner and make it clear what you want from your life and partnership. 

4. “We’re just friends”

We’re just friends

If you were actually just friends you likely wouldn’t have to say so. If something else is going on between you and you do regard each other as more than friends, don’t try and hide from the reality of the situation as you are likely to get hurt. This is especially true if you become invested in your partner more than your partner is invested in you. 

If you are not on the same page either of you can get truly hurt and have your heartbroken. Be clear about what your situation is and whether you agree to see other people or not. If you do not set guidelines for your partnership it may result in an emotional affair that can be as traumatic as a physical affair. Don’t lie to anyone you are in a partnership with for whatever reason. 

White Lies In A Relationship: What You Should Avoid

Sometimes it can be hard, to tell the truth, and telling a lie is often the easier option. However, relationships should be a place where you can be open and honest with each other, without having to worry about the reaction. If you have done something wrong, you shouldn’t be scared to express it to your partner, it is a natural part of life and relationships. 

If you are unable to communicate with your partner and you find yourself telling white lies instead of the truth, it is a good idea to think deeply about whether your relationship is healthy. If you cannot communicate with each other, it is likely that your relationship will not last. Work on your communication and your ability, to be honest with each other. 

Relationships are not always easy, but it is never a good idea to resort to lying to each other. You should always be able to let your partner know the truth about whatever situation has arisen. If you are unable to do so, you may have communication issues in your relationship together that need to be worked on. 

Keep reading to find out the white lies you should never use in a relationship… 

White Lies in Relationships: What Are White Lies?

Often we allow ourselves to tell white lies in our lives, however, it is never a good idea to start telling lies to your partner. Try to always let them know the truth and even if you fail sometimes, open up to them about lying. Staying on the same page is so important if you want a long and happy partnership with your other half. 

We often use white lies to prevent guilt or humiliation, however, any partnership that is not built on trust and honesty is not likely to last. Communicate with your partner and be open about every aspect of your life. 

5. Selfish White Lies

While sometimes lying is used to protect the feelings of another person, they can also be used selfishly to protect our own interests. Even if you are lying to protect your partner’s feelings, it is not a good idea as it will set a precedent for lying to become normal in your partnership. If you are lying for your own means, it is vital to carefully consider whether the partnership is right for you. 

If your partner is the right one for you and you are happy in your partnership, you should not have lie to one another. If you are lying selfishly, it is important to check in with yourself and seek help to stop this habit. 

6. When a Lie Becomes Dangerous

A lie becomes dangerous when it begins to feel normal to you to lie to your partner. If you never used to lie to each other and suddenly you lie to them a few times a day, it has begun to seriously affect your partnership in a negative way. If you are lying about serious things in your partnership, it is time to have a serious conversation and open up to your partner. 

If you are unable to talk to them about what has been going on, it is important to seek help or end the partnership

7. Communication

If you are lying to your partner often, it is a sign of a serious lack of communication in your partnership. It is important to sit down with them and have a serious conversation about your partnership and what you can do to fix it. If you are not able to regain the trust and honesty that you once shared, you may not be able to fix your bond. 

No partnership will survive if it is not built on trust and honesty. Communicate often with your other half about how you feel. Try to always avoid telling a white lie and stay on the same page. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

8. Your Significant Other Likely Knows You Aren’t Being Truthful

Your Significant Other Likely Knows You Aren’t Being Truthful

If you have started to avoid being truthful in your partnership, it is likely that your significant other already knows. If you have been together for a long time, they likely realize straight away when you avoid being truthful. If you don’t stop this habit, you will likely ruin your partnership. Open up to your significant other and explain to them why you have been acting in this way. 

Communication and honesty is the only way to get through it, if your significant other knows already, there is no point in doing anything other than opening up about the reasons behind your dishonesty. 

9. Don’t Lie When Dating Either

Make sure not to lie when dating either, no matter if you feel like it causes no harm. When you are trying to get to learn more about someone, it is important that you are truthful with them. If you decide you don’t like this person enough for things to move forward, be honest about it. Don’t say that you will message them if you don’t intend to either. 

Don’t Make Empty Commitments

If you are dating someone, don’t make empty promises that you don’t mean. Don’t say that you will message them or that they are the only ones you are dating when in fact you are seeing multiple others at the same time. If you are texting other people, make sure to make it clear to everyone involved that that is the case. 

Telling a lie early on in dating is not a good sign for the future. A partnership built on dishonesty from the start is not likely to last. 

Don’t Make Empty Promises to Your Significant Other

If you are in a serious partnership, it is important to always be truthful. If you promise to quit drinking or smoking, try to go through with it, and don’t just make empty promises that you don’t intend to follow through on. 

A Lie Can Ruin a Partnership

A lie can end up ruining a partnership despite that you feel like it is just a small thing. If you start to be dishonest with your significant other this becomes normal and the things that you use a lie about become more serious. Eventually, you are hardly ever completely truthful with one another and you lose any sense of honesty in your partnership. 

FAQs

How white lies affect a relationship?

They can affect a relationship badly and may even cause their ruin. If you start telling white lies frequently to your partner, it becomes natural and normal to avoid the truth. This thus sets a precedent for your relationship and you will both start telling lies often. The lies will become bigger and you lose any sense of trust and honesty in your relationship. 

Can a small lie ruin a relationship?

One small lie is not likely to ruin a relationship, however, it is not a good idea to start lying to each other. Relationships are all about communication and honesty and if you don’t have these things, it is likely that it won’t last between you for much longer. If you start telling lies to one another, you will lose trust in your bond and partnership.

What do lies do to a relationship?

If you start by telling white lies to your partner, it is likely that the lies will start getting even bigger as time goes on. The more you lie to your partner, the more they are likely going to start lying to you. Your partner likely knows that you are lying to them and will begin to lose trust in you. Work on your communication and honesty if you want your relationship to last. 

When have you lied to your partner?

Consider the last time that you lied to your partner and think about how often you are telling lies in your relationship. If you cannot remember the last time you lied to your partner, your relationship is likely built on honesty and trust. However, if you know that you lied to them a lot recently, it is a good idea to have a serious conversation and open up to your partner about it. 

Why do husbands lie?

Both husbands and wives can lie in relationships because they want to avoid their own shame or prevent hurting their partner. However, lies are never a good thing, even if you are trying to protect your loved one from something that you have done. It is likely that the truth will come out eventually and your partner will likely be even more hurt that you lied to. 

To Sum Up… 

Lying in relationships is never a good idea. Even if it starts with little white lies, this sets a precedent and the honesty that you once shared in your relationship will start to slip away. If you want a long and healthy partnership with your partner, make sure to always let them know the truth and be honest with each other no matter what. 

Let us know what you thought in the comments and don’t forget to share this article! 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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