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11 Amazing Second Date Tips (And Getting A 3rd)

Last updated on July 23, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Going on a second date can be really nerve-wracking - sometimes even more so than a first date. The reason being is that you have probably realized that you really like a person by this stage. The pressure, therefore, mounts in your head that you really want this second date to progress even further. 

For that reason, it can be good to read some tips before going on second dates. We have listed our suggestions below that will keep you calm between the first date and the second date, as well as help you get the most out of the second time you meet up with each other.  

Best Second Date Tips 

Below are some ideas and things to try out to make sure you get the most out of your second date with a person you really like.

It isn’t necessary to try out all of them at once, but it can be a good idea simply to be aware of them. (Also make sure you check our endless list of second date ideas for more inspiration)

Having a wider awareness of these tips will help you stay calm over the course of the date, without feeling too pressured to act in a forced way that won't bring the best out of you. 

1. Make sure your instincts are right

If you are going on a second date after a great first date, you need to use this time to make sure that there is something there between you. You also need to ensure that your first impression of your date was the right one and that you are not trying to force the situation. Sometimes, if we want a relationship, we often try to see things that aren’t there. 

2. Try a different setting

Try a different setting

It’s a good idea to try a different approach to this date as opposed to the first date. To do so, try out a different place or setting. If you went for a coffee on your first date, try going out for dinner for the second. Or, if you went out for drinks for your first date, maybe try something like rock climbing. By switching things up, you get to see different sides to a person’s character. 

3. Use body language

The first date is all about flirting with a person while trying to get to know them. The second date is a time to see whether they are really interested in you through body language. So, look at the direction of their feet. 

If they are pointing at you, it means that they are interested. Or if they are constantly trying to touch you in some way or holding eye contact with you, you can take it that they are into you. 

4. Ask deeper questions

The second date can be a good opportunity to further the act of getting to know one another. For that reason, it is a good idea to ask more and deeper questions than you may have on the first date. First dates, and second dates, should all be about having fun, but a second needs to go deeper than simply just the frivolous. 

5. See if you have to repeat yourself

A key idea to try out on the second date is to see if you have to repeat anything you said about yourself on the first date you had with a person. If you do, you may find that they are not as interested in you as you may have hoped. Or it could be that they are not a particularly attentive partner. Either way, this is a warning sign, so proceed with care. 

6. Have fun

While seeing a page of suggestions like this can be intimidating at first, remember that the key to the success of a second date is to have fun. First dates are nerve-wracking enough, but a second date should be a time when you want to relax to truly enjoy one another’s company. If you don’t relax and keep things fun, you are putting too much pressure on both of you for this to be a success. The result is often that it is not an enjoyable date. 

7. Don’t put pressure on yourself

If you put pressure on yourself to be a certain way or to show off a certain side of your personality while keeping another part quiet, you may find that you are setting yourself up for a fall. 

It is imperative to show your true colors on a date and be genuine. If you don’t, you are only going to make things more difficult for yourself further down the line when you cannot maintain the personality you created previously. 

8. Wear something you’re comfortable in

Wear something you’re comfortable in

To help yourself relax, a good idea can be to spend an extra minute or two getting ready before you go out. Wear something that makes you look great, but also wear things that make you feel comfortable. 

If you are uncomfortable, you may find that you are not able to relax as easily as you may have done otherwise. The result is that you cannot show the true you as you are not as at ease as you could have been. 

9. Common interests

While not necessary in every relationship, it can be a good idea to ascertain if you and your date have common interests. Common interests are what can engender a strong bond between two people and if you and your date have shared hobbies, you can always rely on it for something to talk about. 

It also helps the attraction that you both have between you, which can help make a connection even more powerful. 

10. Easy conversation 

Second dates go well when you both have an easy conversation. Easy conversation comes from being relaxed, so this is why it is so key for you both to not put pressure on yourselves to show your best sides. 

Your best side will come naturally when you are both at ease. If you do ever find that there is a lull in the conversation, remember to smile and ask your date about themselves. People often open up a great deal when someone gives them an opportunity to talk about their life or work. 

11. Butterfly feeling

A second date is a good time to see what your potential love interest makes you feel like. If you get that butterfly feeling in your stomach at the thought of him or her, this is a great sign that you have a strong attraction for them. It is that butterfly feeling that makes this more than a platonic relationship. 

It is the butterfly feeling that makes it a romantic, sexual one. While butterflies aren’t always necessary for a relationship to be something more than just friendship, it certainly does help - so do keep an eye out for it. 


What should happen on a second date?

Second dates are all about having fun and getting to know each other better. You need to see if you have a spark that will make your relationship more than just platonic. Your date might grow on you even more or, you may find that you are not truly suited. 

Should you kiss on a second date?

If you want to kiss your date the second time you meet up, take that as a good sign and go for it. Don’t overthink the situation. If you feel like things are going well and your date feels the same way, a kiss can be a way of saying that you are interested in going on a third date. 

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How do you ace a second date?

Acing a second date and getting to go on a third date is all about relaxing and being yourself. If you don’t, you will likely not be showing your best side or showing yourself off in a way that you can maintain. This means that the relationship is doomed from the outset as you are not being genuine.

How do you make a second date successful?

Making a second date successful is all about making sure that you are both at ease and able to have fun and fluid conversation with one another. A second date is a good opportunity to get to know each other, but if you are not relaxed, you won’t be able to have a great time either. 

What is the 3 date rule?

The 3 date rule varies on who you talk to, but most commonly it is the recommendation that you wait until the third date to have sex with a person. Even if you have had a good time on your first date or your second date, many people like to wait until the third, to see whether they should sleep with a person. 

Second date tips - Key takeaways

The second dates are all about having fun. They are about building on the foundations that you established on your first date, and seeing if that spark is still there. A second date is also a great opportunity to see whether your date has listened to you the first time you met up and really taken on board what you have said. 

Overall, do not put pressure on yourself for this date to go well - that pressure will make it difficult to relax and have fun. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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