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Questions To Ask Your Ex and Yourself (127 Interesting Questions)

After a relationship ends, it’s usually tough coping with the separation. You might have a few questions to ask your ex, hoping to find closure after the breakup. Nonetheless, not having the right questions to ask might cause you to struggle to communicate

We understand how you feel, and that’s why we’re here to help. Making the right inquiry after a relationship fails is critical, which is why we’ve created this article to guide you. If you’re in this dilemma, below are 127 questions to help clear your doubts with your ex-partner. 

There’s also a self-assessment section with questions you should ask yourself if you plan on getting back together with them. Even better, we have questions that will win them over once your decision is made. Continue reading to find out.

Table of Contents

Questions To Ask Your Ex After A Breakup 

1. Did you really love me?

This is a typical question to ask your previous girlfriend or boyfriend after the relationship is over. Finding out whether they loved you or not will help you interact better with them. This gives you closure and makes you process what happened, leading up to the separation. 

2. Do you think about me more or less now? 

Some questions to ask your ex include how frequently they think of you. After the relationship, it might be essential to find out how they’re coping with the break-up. It will also help you understand if there’s a promise in getting back together.

3. Do certain things remind you of me, like our favorite movies or songs?

Relationships have their ups and downs, but there's always something good to remember them by. Finding out whether your ex reminisces on past times will help you have closure about things ending. More so, it won’t be wrong to find it if you do the same.

4. Do you remember how we met? What was your initial impression?

You can ask your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend about the first time the both of you met. This will help you back in the good memories you shared together. The pain of the break-up would feel like just a temporary phase as you walk through memory lane.

5. What was it about me that made you fall for me? Did I ever change?

If you need certain questions answered, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask your ex-boyfriend, especially if it involves their feelings for you. Instead of choosing to talk only about the breakup, ask them about the things that made them fall for you.

6. What did you like the most about me?

Moving forward from the breakup, you can ensure you’re on the same page with your ex by talking about the past. Ask about what they liked the most about you to see if they still see you in a positive light.

7. What did you dislike the most about me?

While it’s necessary to talk about the good parts of the relationship, it’s also necessary to bring up old issues. For example, things your ex-girlfriend disliked about you. If you didn’t get your questions answered while dating, here’s your chance.

8. Did you ever cheat on me? If yes, why? What do you think of it now?

Most relationships have their secrets, which is why a breakup is a good opportunity to find out things you’ve always wanted to know. For example, questions to ask your ex include if they’ve ever cheated on you. This will provide the closure you need. 

9. Did you regret that the relationship didn’t work?

You might think it’s wrong to talk about the past after a break-up, but this is the perfect time to do so. Ask your ex-boyfriend about his regrets and he’ll be willing to discuss them. This process will help you understand several scenarios better.

10. What did you like the most about our relationship?

You can get on the same page with your ex by choosing to talk about your most cherished times. This will help both of you prioritize your strengths, even after the breakup. Both of you will think of yourselves in a positive light, instead of overthinking the bad experiences.

11. What do you think was lacking in our relationship?

Every broken relationship has its problems, which is why this is one of the best questions to ask your ex. It’ll help you get closure and become even better for your next relationship. You’ll also interact better with them due to their honesty.

12. What do you think I could have done better that I didn’t do?

These are also questions to ask your ex to ensure you become a better person after the breakup. You might not like their answer, but you can use their response to your benefit. This inquiry will also help you know if the relationship can be rebuilt.

13. Do you miss me or the relationship?

Moving forward after a breakup can be hard. You’re not sure if your previous girlfriend feels the same way or has already moved on. Therefore, asking if they miss you might be a great decision. It’ll also help you determine if they’re the same person, or if they’ve already changed.

14. Did you ever see a future with me?

You can ask your ex-boyfriend about their prospective plans while dating you. Questions to ask your ex include if they saw things going further. Did they want to build a family with you? What were their hopes for the future? These and many more will provide clarity.

15. What would you say is your favorite memory of us together?

You can get answers to the things your ex enjoyed the most while dating you. Specifically, ask your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend things like What do you miss the most after the break-up? What memory do you cherish the most? These and many more will build a solid foundation after the break.

16. Do you still have some of the things I gave you, or did you throw them away after the breakup?

To make a post-breakup relationship work, you need to clear your doubts. You can decide to ask about the things you gave your partner to see if they still have them. If they don’t, it shows they’re moving on, and perhaps, you should too.

17. If you could go back in time and change something about the relationship, what would it be?

All broken relationships are filled with regrets. These are questions to ask your ex to get closure. Ask them about the things they would have loved to change. This will give you a different perspective about everything, and help you know if a second chance can occur.

18. Did the relationship change you in any way, either positively or negatively?

Questions to ask your ex include both the positive and negative impact the relationship had on them. How did they feel while dating you? Were they better or worse than before? These inquiries will provide clarity about everything.

19. Has the breakup changed you in any way, either positively or negatively?

It’s necessary to talk about how the relationship changed your ex. However, it’s also essential to discuss how the break is affecting both of you. If you have unresolved feelings, this is the perfect time to express yourself. You can even decide to discuss past experiences. 

20. Is there anything you wish you didn’t do?

is there anything you wish you didnt do

Having the breakup talk can be difficult, especially if you and your partner had unresolved problems. Nonetheless, sharing your errors can help you get on the right track. Instead of only admitting your faults, you can ask your partner where they went wrong in the relationship.

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Back With An Ex

21. What was the reason for the breakup?

Discussing old issues may seem like a bad idea after a break in a relationship. Nonetheless, it’s essential for having clarity. But before that, ask yourself the reason for the separation, especially if you want to rebuild a future with your ex.

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

22. Do you really want to get back together? If yes, why?

You need to talk to yourself about your break-up with your ex to see things from a clearer perspective. Ask yourself why you really want to get back together. Your reasons will help you understand if it’s worth it.

23. Do you genuinely want them back or do you just miss their company?

These aren’t questions to ask your ex, but to ask yourself. You need to know whether you just miss their company or you genuinely want them back in your life. If you haven’t gotten over the separation, you need to find out why.

24. Is wanting them back just a temporary phase that you will overcome after some time?

Time indeed heals all wounds. You need to evaluate if your desire to get back with your ex is temporary or not. Ask yourself if you’ll feel the same way in a few months. This process will help you understand if the effort is worth it.

25. Have you spent enough time away from your previous partner to process your unresolved feelings?

Before talking to your ex about rebuilding a broken relationship, it’s necessary to process your feelings. It’s essential to spend enough time away from them to know if you genuinely want to be with them. This process will ensure you’re not confused about how you feel.

26. Do you still feel the same way for them even after enough time has passed after the breakup?

If enough time has passed after the separation, it’s necessary to assess how you feel. Do you still love your ex as much? If yes, then you should go ahead to get them back. If not, then you should probably find someone new. However, the major element is time.

27. Have you grown as a person since the break-up? What have you learned since then?

Every relationship has a story, which means its end should teach you something. It’s necessary to analyze what you’ve learned after separating from your ex. This process will help you become a better individual and grow for your next relationship.

28. Can you forgive and forget about your ex-partner’s past mistakes?

You might have been a perfect girlfriend or partner, but certain aspects of the relationship would have inevitably hurt you. It’s necessary to address your pain before thinking about reuniting with an ex. This process is necessary because grudges can ruin new relationships.

29. Do you hold any resentment for him/her? Are you sure you’ve moved on from your hurt?

It’s possible to resent someone and still want to be around them. You might feel your ex owes you something from the previous relationship and dating them again is the only way to get it. Therefore, it’s important to observe whether you’ve thoroughly moved on from the pain.

30. Will you be able to start afresh with him/her? Is there anything you might not tolerate?

It’s essential to note that your ex might not be a changed person. If they still have bad behaviors, you need to determine whether it’s something you can tolerate. Your answers will prove whether you genuinely want a relationship with them or not.

31. What are the problems you faced with your previous partner? Have you found the solutions to these past issues?

Previous problems are bound to arise when ex-partners get back together. Therefore, these are questions to ask your ex and yourself. For example, “What are the problems you faced in the relationship? Have you found solutions to them”

32. Are you willing to make compromises? What will happen if things don’t go the way you planned?

There’s a possibility that things won't go according to plan. How far are you willing to compromise to keep the relationship standing? Do you think it’ll be easier or much harder than before? Will your ex-girlfriend also put in the same amount of effort?

33. Are you prepared to do everything it takes to fix what led to the break-up? What do you plan to do differently?

While it’s critical to make plans, it’s also essential to do things in a different way. You shouldn't apply the same tactics you used while dating your previous partner. How far are you willing to go to save the relationship?

34. How will your family and friends feel about this? Do you plan to tell them? If yes, what do you think they’d advise?

Telling your family and mutual friends is an excellent idea if you plan to rebuild a broken relationship. However, you should try to predict what their responses would be. Do you think they’d approve of it, or discourage you from your actions?

35. What advice would you give to someone in a similar situation? Would you promote or condemn their actions?

Apart from what others might say to you, you need to evaluate what you might tell someone if they were in your shoes. Would you encourage or discourage them? Your response will help you identify if you should go ahead with the relationship.

Questions to Ask Your Ex to Get them Back

36. Do you still have feelings for me?

The first step to getting back your ex is identifying if they still have feelings for you? You can accomplish this by asking them. If they do, it’ll make the process much easier. It means they’re willing to put in the effort to see things work. 

37. Have you ever considered us getting back together? Do you think we can rebuild a relationship?

Talking about rebuilding a broken relationship with your ex-partner will help you resolve things faster. If they share the same opinions with you, it’ll be easier to recover what was lost. On the contrary, if they don’t feel the same way, you know it’s best to move on.

38. Did you learn anything about yourself and us during our time apart?

After a breakup, both parties need to grow. If your ex-partner has been pondering on the things they learned, it shows they might be ready to start afresh. On the contrary, if they haven’t thought about it at all, they might not be ready to rebuild things.

39. What have you done differently since our separation?

Mutual communication is necessary for any relationship to work. You need to ensure you and your partner have similar perspectives before trying to rebuild what was broken. This process will prevent previous issues from arising.

40. What do you think I should have done differently in our relationship?

what do you think I should have done differently in our relationship

It’s critical to know how to manage a new relationship with your ex. Ask them what they wish you had done in a different way. This inquiry will prevent you from making the same mistakes. More so, it’ll put you one step ahead

41. Do you think I was a good partner?

Talking about your strengths in your precious relationship will help you become better. If your ex-partner thinks you were great, it means they have faith in you. More so, that the both of you can rebuild something good.

42. What is your current impression of me?

Finding out what your ex-partner thinks of you is also critical. Their present impression will determine if a new relationship can work between the both of you. If they have a positive impression of you, it’s a great start.

43. What’s one thing you miss most about our relationship?

Speaking about the past relationship will help you find closure and move on thoroughly. More so, it’ll help you see things from your ex-partner’s perspective. You'll make better judgments and determine if getting back together is truly worth it.

44. Of all the things we did together, what is your favorite memory of us together?

If your ex-partner is still holding on to pleasant memories of both of you, it's a good sign. It means they cherish what both of you had together. It also shows that they might be interested in rebuilding the broken relationship.

45. Are you willing to go the extra mile to solve our past issues? How far are you willing to go?

Talking about the efforts both of you will put into fixing old problems is quite essential. You should never assume things. Instead, ask for their opinions. If your ex-partner’s response is convincing, things might work out this time.

46. Do you think we’re compatible? Do you think we can make things work?

You might think you and your ex are compatible, but you also need to find out if they feel the same way. If they share a similar opinion with you, it’s a good thing. This means they have high hopes for a second relationship working out.

47. What is your definition of an ideal relationship? Do you think we can fulfill our desires?

Effective communication after a relationship breaks is quite essential. It’s even more necessary when you have plans of getting back together with your ex. You need to find out their desires for an ideal relationship and see if they think the both of you can make things work.,

48. Do you think you can forget about all that went wrong between us?

Talking about the bad times will help you and your ex get over them. Even so, you need to find out if they can forgive and forget. This process is key to moving on and rebuilding a better relationship. If they can’t, it shows that a new relationship might not be worth it. 

49. Do you think there’s hope for a second chance?

After a relationship breaks, both parties might not have the same views about reuniting. Therefore, it's critical to ask your ex-partner about it, to find out if they think there’s hope for a second chance. This will determine if you should move ahead or retreat.

50. Is it possible to make things work the second time?

Your dream for a second chance might not match with your ex-partner’s own. Therefore, you should talk to them about it. If they share the same desire, it proves that things might work out. On the contrary, a lack of motivation shows that it might not be worth it.

Questions To Ask Your Ex To Get Closure

51. Do you have any reason we shouldn’t be together? Can you tell me those reasons?

You should ensure your partner thinks the same way as you. If they have any reason you shouldn't be together, you should take heed to it. Talking about it can help you understand things from their perspective.

52. What specific thing do you think was responsible for our relationship’s failure?

If you want to get closure after a relationship breaks, you should discuss the things that led to the separation. This will help both of you come to terms with the relationship’s failure. More so, you’ll resolve your hurtful feelings.

53. When did you realize you were done with the relationship and needed to let go?

You can decide to talk to your ex about them letting go of the relationship. Irrespective of who called off the relationship, it can help to know when both parties stopped fighting. This will provide the adequate amount of closure you need.

54. How did you feel about our relationship? Were you genuinely happy at any time? When did you get tired?

Your ex-partner will walk you through the process of their happiness down to their pain with this type of question. You can get to see things from their perspective, and perhaps, cope with the separation even better.

55. How did you cope with the breakup?

Learning how your ex-partner coped with the separation can clear your doubts and put your mind at ease. You can find out if they moved on quickly or perhaps, held on to certain parts of the relationship.

56. Has our relationship taught you anything? What did it teach you?

When a relationship fails, the two parties must learn something. Finding out what your ex-partner learned can make you see the separation in a different light. More so, it will help you accept it more.

57. What are the good things you learned in our relationship and from the breakup?

You can be specific with your question by asking your ex-partner the good things they learned. This will keep the conversation friendly. More so, you can focus on the good aspects of the relationship.

58. What part of our relationship would you like to erase from your memory?

The past can hold hurtful memories especially when a relationship fails. Therefore, it’s only plausible that your ex-partner might want to erase specific things from their memory. You can find out what they are with this question and get the closure you need.

59. Is there anything you haven’t said before and would like to tell me now?

Talking about bottled-up emotions can help pacify ex-partners. It’ll also help the both of you feel lighter and come to terms with the separation. More so, you’ll start your post-separation relationship on a better note.

60. Do you have any form of resentment towards me ever since the breakup?

do you have any form of resentment towards me ever since the breakup

You don't want your ex-partner spending forever holding a grudge against you. Therefore, you should allow them to express some of the painful things they’ve been too afraid to discuss. It will be therapeutic both to them and you.

Other Questions To Ask Your Ex To Get Closure

61. Did you ever love me?

62. At what point did you consider yourself spending forever with me?

63. Did you cheat on me? If yes, why?

64. Did you talk to your ex when you were with me? If yes, was it only for casual reasons?

65. Did I ever do anything that made you jealous? If yes, did it affect our relationship?

66. What’s your biggest regret in our relationship?

67. What’s the worst thing you ever did to me? – even things I didn’t know.

68. What did you actually think of my friends? Did you like them?

69. What was your favorite aspect of me?

70. What was your least favorite thing about me?

71. What’s your favorite memory when we were together?

72. Did you really enjoy our sex life or did you just manage it?

73. If given a second chance, what would you have done in a different way?

74. Do you still think about me? If yes, how often?

75. Do you think we could’ve worked on our problems, and given our relationship a second chance?

76. Do you think we can work it out now if we get another try?

77. Anytime you like my Instagram and Facebook posts, or retweet my tweets, are you flirting with me or trying to get my attention?

78. Do you have a little reminder that lets you know when I’m not thinking about you? Is that why you suddenly decide to text me?

79. Have you spoken to your new partner about me? If yes, what did you say? If not, why?

80. Do you still talk to our mutual friends about me? If yes, what do you say?

do you still talk to our mutual friends about me if yes what do you say

81. Do your friends hate me? What do they think of me?

82. Did you keep the presents I gave you? If yes, why?

83. Do any songs or TV shows remind you of me? Do they bring back positive or negative emotions?

84. What do you think of me now?

85. Do you ever think about my body?

86. Who do you think was the settler in our relationship? You or me?

87. If you could tell me anything you always wanted to say, what would that be?

88. Do you wish we were still together?

89. Did you cheat during the relationship? What was your reason?

90. Do you consider our break-up to be a bad or good thing?

91. Do you ever miss the relationship? Even just a little?

92. Do you regret how things turned out? Do you ever wish to change things?

93. Can you remember how we met?

94. Was I ever a great partner?

95. Do you know how long we were together?

96. If you can be absolutely honest, who do you blame for the break-up?

97. What do you think we argue about the most?

98. What do you miss the most about our relationship?

99. Do you wish I did anything in particular to save our relationship?

100. What is my favorite food?

what is my favorite food

101. Mention one question you want me to answer honestly.

102. Mention something you liked us doing together?

103. What is the sweetest thing I’ve ever done for you?

104. What was your most memorable moment with me?

105. Do you know my shoe size?

106. What was the first thing you noticed about me?

107. What was your first impression of me, either positive or negative?

108. What is your current impression of me? Do you like or hate me?

109. What do you think I’d eat every day if I got the chance?

110. What’s my ethnicity/nationality?

111. What’s the color of my eyes?

112. What’s my favorite breakfast item?

113. What’s my favorite drink?

114. What type of tv shows do I like?

115. What’s my favorite sport?

116. What’s one food I dislike?

117. What’s something I’m really great at?

118. What’s one habit of yours that I always hated?

119. Do you regret that the relationship didn’t work?

120. What did you like best about me and the relationship?

what did you like best about me and the relationship

121. What was lacking in me and the relationship?

122. Do you ever miss me and the relationship?

123. Did you ever see a future with me? Did you think we’d ever go far?

124. Do you still have any of the things that I gave you?

125. If you could go back in time and change something about the relationship, what would it be?

126. Did the relationship change you in any way? How would you describe your experience?

127. Are you still the same person since the break-up, or have you changed?


What should I ask my ex after a breakup?

Some questions to ask your ex after a breakup include: What is your present impression of me? Was I ever a good partner? What are the things you always wanted to tell me but couldn’t? Do you think we could have tried harder? Do you consider us ever getting back together?

What can I ask my ex to start a conversation?

You can ask your ex-partner a few questions like, “How have you coped with the separation?” if you want to start a conversation with them. You can also ask them if they hold any form of resentment towards you. This question will ensure you start things on a good note.

What questions should I ask my ex to get him back?

Some questions to ask your ex if you want to get him back include: Do you still have feelings for me? Have you ever considered us getting back together? Do you think we can rebuild a better relationship? Who do you think is responsible for our separation? Is it possible to forgive my wrongdoings and move on?

What do you talk about with your ex?

If you want to build a friendship with your ex, you can ask them a few questions about your likes and dislikes. For example, “What is the color of my eyes? What’s my favorite TV show? Do you know my shoe size? What’s one thing that I always did that got you angry? What’s one thing you like about me?

How do I know if my breakup is final?

When a relationship fails, both parties might hold on to each other for some time, with hopes that things will get back to normal. On the contrary, you’ll know that things are over when either of you moves on. Both of you will no longer feel the need to associate with one another.

The Bottomline

Did you enjoy this article on questions to ask your ex? Understand that you don’t need to ask your ex-partner every question listed here. Assess the ones they would feel comfortable replying to and start a conversation from there. If you liked this article, kindly leave a comment below or share it with others.


Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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