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Did He Ever Love Me? (9 Answers To Ease Your Doubts)

by Sonya Schwartz

Knowing if someone loves you is difficult to tell without asking them directly. However, when it comes to finding out if a person loves you, it is one of the hardest things to bring up in conversation. Bearing that in mind, we all like to learn what the signs are to look out for if a partner really loves you or not. 

Here, in this article, we look at exploring the signs he loves you so that you can know once and for all if he does love you or not. We also look at whether a past partner ever loved you or not as well as signs that he may never have loved you when you were together. In doing so, you should be able to gain some closure if that is what you need to move on from a past relationship.

How Do You Know When Someone Loves You?

There are a few signs that you can keep an eye out for to answer does he love me or not, once and for all. Some of the signs are ones that he will have control over and so is actively doing to show his love, whilst others are natural reactions or bodily reflexes that occur when a person is in love. 

1. They Make An Effort To See You.

If a guy loves you and wants a relationship with you, he will make every effort to see you so that they get to spend as much time with you as possible. This can mean changing plans so that they can tie in with your schedule or simply asking you out repeatedly on dates so that they get to catch up with you. Remember, if a guy wants to see you because he is in love, he will take every opportunity to do so. 

2. They Talk About You.

If you are unsure if a guy is in love with you or not, take notice of whether they talk about you a lot to other people. When a person is in love, they use every chance they can to bring up the person they are into at every moment. It’s as if talking about that person makes them feel closer to them, even when they are not around. 

3. Their Eyes Dilate.

If a person is in love, one of the body’s natural reactions is for the eyes to dilate when they see them. It’s a very small reaction, but if you keep an eye out for it, you will be able to spot it if he does love you. It is a key way that the body can give a person away as to their true feelings for another and lets others know who they really want. 

4. They Look At You A Lot.

Another natural reaction in life when we love a person is to look at the object of our affection as much as possible. Again, it is an unconscious act like our eyes dilating when that person walks into a room. Plus, however much we try to stifle it, we will always look at a person as much as possible that we are in love with.

Keep an eye on this if you are curious as to whether a guy is in love with you or not and you are not sure as to how he feels. 

5. They Smile When You Walk In A Room.

Another natural reaction when we feel love for another person is to smile when they walk into a room. It’s almost an immediate reflex to smile whenever we see a person that we are in love with. While it should not be understood that every time that someone smiles at us they are necessarily in love with us as well if you have been flirting with a guy or dating him and you see him smile when you enter somewhere, he could well be falling in love with you too. 

How To Tell If He Ever Loved You

If you have been in a relationship with a person and you are not sure how he ever felt about you, there are a few signs that you can think about to ascertain whether he did feel love for you or not. A relationship between two people will always be different from partnership to the next, however, these signs can be a good indication as to what transpired between the pair of you at a moment in time. 

6. He Made Space For You In His Life.

If you are looking back on your relationship and wondering if a guy ever loved you, have a think about whether he made space for you in his life. That means he adjusted how he worked, or how often he met up with his friends or if he introduced you to his family. If he did all this, and he did it gladly all the time, then he most probably did love you at one point. 

7. He Made Sacrifices.

Within a relationship, two people will often have to make compromises and sacrifices for one another to ensure that things work. If he sacrificed things like job opportunities or similar, then the chances are that at some point in his life, he was in love with you. If people are not in love with their partner, they tend to ensure that they get to do what they want all the time. If you think back and realize that your ex put you first a lot of the time, then he most likely had strong feelings for you in the past. 

8. He Supported You.

A healthy relationship where love is present is where each partner is made to feel supported at all times in their life together. If you look back and realize that he did indeed help you in many ways through his support of all your actions - be it to do with raising children, your family, with friends or with a career - then you can be confident that he did love you. 

9. He Laughed With You.

Perhaps the nicest thing about a reciprocal loving relationship is when a couple laughs a lot together. If, when you look back on your life together, you remember that you both laughed and were happy in each other’s company then there was most probably love in your partnership at some point - even if one day that laughter started to dwindle to nothing. 

This may have made you feel like there was never anything good in your partnership as we can sometimes look back negatively on a relationship that has ended as a way of protecting ourselves from hurting too much. However, when you get over that pain, you will most likely realize that you did feel very deeply for each other. 

Signs That He Never Loved You

Sadly, there are times when a person is in a relationship and yet never loved their partner - despite saying that they did. Here we look at signs that show that he never loved you when you were together. 

He Moved On Very Quickly With Someone Else.

If your ex got together with someone else almost immediately after you broke up, it could well be that he never loved you. The reason that he was able to start up with another person so quickly is that they had shallow feelings for you that enabled them to get over you and move on without a second thought. It can be very hard to see an ex with another person, but it can also be a very good way of knowing when it is important to move on and get on with your life too. 

He Was Always Selfish.

If you are unsure as to whether your ex did have deep, loving emotions for you, a good way of telling is whether they put you first, or whether they were always selfish when you had him in your life. This can mean that he never sacrificed doing anything that would materialize in making you happier or they simply never thought of you and your feelings. This is a key indication that he never loved you as people who are in love, want to always make their partner as happy as possible. 

He Never Spoke About The Future.

When a guy is not in love with a person and doesn’t want them in their life, they will never speak about the future or make serious plans with their partner. This can make a person feel insignificant and unappreciated so it is a shame when it can get to a point in a partnership where what people want is so different. While one person will want to get serious about where they are headed, the person who is not in love will evade such conversations until one day their hand is forced and the relationship ends. 

FAQs

How Do You Test A Guy To See If He Really Loves You?

Testing a guy to see if he loves you can vary from person to person, relationship to relationship. But you really need to tread carefully whatever you decide to do as it can backfire to the extent that you never end up together. Take the time to think about the consequences of your actions and whether you are willing to take the risk. 

How Do You Know When A Man Doesn't Love You?

If a man doesn’t really love you there are a number of signs to be aware of. One is that he never puts you first, and never makes time for the two of you. If he does truly love you, he would always make sure that you know you are the one for him - the act of questioning his love often answers enough. 

Can You Ask Someone If They Love You?

You can, of course, ask a person if they love you, as it is always good to be open and honest in a relationship. However, prepare yourself for whatever the answer is. It could be that you do not like what you hear and you can end up very hurt. While it is better to know, ensure that you think about the fallout. 

How Do You Tell If A Man Is Falling In Love With You?

A person falling in love with you can manifest itself in a number of different ways, but a key indicator is if a man talks about life in the future, which includes you in it. He will also try to spend as much time with you as possible even though he may be incredibly busy. 

What To Do If He's Pulling Away?

If you are made nervous and unhappy by the fact that your boyfriend or husband seems to be pulling away, ensure you talk to him about how you feel. It may be that he is not aware of his actions, or it could be that he is looking to end the relationship. Either way, you need to find out the truth. 

The Bottom Line

Knowing if a past lover was ever in love with you can be a painful thing to think about, but it is essential to do sometimes as it can help you move on more easily. If we admit that a person wasn’t ever in love with us, it can assist us in seeing that the partnership was not right and would not have worked out in the future - however much you wanted it to.

Also, establishing whether a past lover was in fact ever in love with you can help a person admit whether there is a chance of getting back together. If a person wasn’t in love with you, there is very little chance of rekindling the romance and realizing that it will help you come to terms with that fact. 

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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