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My Ex Texted Me Then Ignores Me (11 Possible Reasons)

If after breaking up your ex starts to talk to you again, I understand how confusing it can make you feel, especially when they ignore you after doing so. Trust me, the emotions that come with being romantically involved with someone can sometimes be hard to bury, even if hurting or cheating on you was the reason for splitting up. 

Before you jump to a conclusion on the reason why your ex-boyfriend texts and ignores you, you might want to know the reasons are more than one and could depend on some factors. 

Knowing these reasons will better help in processing and handling the situation. For example, if you want your ex back, understanding why he texted then ignored you will help you know the next move to make. That said, here are some possible reasons.

1. He wants you back

If this is one of the reasons that first comes to mind when your ex texts you, you might be right. As I mentioned earlier, the emotions shared and the memories created can sometimes be hard to let go of. If you and your ex did not split up on a messy or bad note, he might be looking for a way to get back into your life. 

Sending text messages and ignoring you might mean that he doesn't know how to initiate a good come back you won't refuse. Also, his personality might be a good way to judge this behavior. For example, if he's a naturally shy person, perhaps it took him a while before telling you how he felt about you, that could also explain why he ignores you after texting you.

2. To discern your feelings toward him

This tip is related to the one above. If a guy is trying to come back into your life after breaking up with you, texting you and then ignoring you may be his way of trying to know how you feel about him. Your ex's feelings are on the line, so, if you respond positively and start calling or giving him green light, it's a good sign he might have a good chance at getting you back. To him, it's an indicator you have probably not moved on and still want something with him too. 

3. He’s busy or probably unsure about his feelings

If your ex texted you, perhaps, because he wants to get back with you and then starts to ignore you, it could be that they are busy. If they don't completely ghost you maybe even apologize, it might just be that they have a tight schedule, perhaps busy with some other stuff. 

Still, it will be a good idea to consider his personality when you were together. If he's someone that's always busy, perhaps never really had your time, always giving excuses for not calling or being a bad texter, he might not have changed since things went south.

Whether his intentions for texting you in the first place are genuine or not, ignoring you after doing so probably means you are not top on his priority list or he's not sure of what he wants. 

What's more, if his unseriousness happens to be one of the reasons the relationship you both shared didn't work, you shouldn't put any hope in him. He probably won't stop ignoring you and may never change.

4. Don’t read too much meaning to it, he’s probably just checking in

dont read too much meaning to it hes probably just checking in

One of the reasons an ex may freely text you is because there are no hard feelings during or after parting ways. However, if you are hoping you and your ex get back together, I understand why his text may get you all excited but also confused when he ignores you. 

Maybe you are reading too much meaning into the text, but he's just checking in. Understand that you are now his ex-girlfriend. He may no longer see responding to a text message or phone call from you as something he ought to do. 

As love experts always advise, don't make the mistake of expecting too much when an ex connects out of the blue. It might be nothing or they might just want to get into your pants and disappear.

5. He wants to test his hold on you

When you are dating someone, it's normal if they have some level of hold over you. It's not a bad thing, since being romantically involved with someone makes you have a soft spot for them and even go out of your way for them. Therefore, if your ex texted and later ignores you, don't get too worked up trying to decipher what it could mean. Initiating contact might just be a manipulative move

Furthermore, your ex’s personality is another factor to consider here. If your ex is a control freak when you were together, you don’t need a psychology degree to know he ignores you to test the hold he once had on you when you both were romantically together.

6. Someone he rates higher than you is in the picture

I hate to break it to you, when your ex ignores you after texting you, it might just be because you are not number one in his heart. If a guy is chasing another lady he considers better than you, it might cause him to stall being committed to you. Also, it could be that the other lady has become serious with him, so he decided to put a stop to pursuing you. Either way, it means he's not worth your attention or time. 

7. He hurt you and is feeling guilty

It's not uncommon for the person who initiated the breakup to feel guilty after the whole thing. While it's not that they want to get back together, they sometimes feel bad for breaking their partner's heart. Texting or keeping in touch is only a way of alleviating some of the guilt they feel. 

If this reason happens to be the case with your ex, you may notice a pattern that seems like ghosting. That's because he texts you only when the feeling of guilt overwhelms him. He never has the intention of taking it further than that, so the need to act like you don’t exist naturally follows.

8. He’s just being nosy

hes just being nosy

A conversation like “How's work?” and “What are your plans for the weekend?” are ways people subtly have access to what's going on in your life. Chances are he's just being nosy. While the behavior could stem from his natural personality, perhaps being a nice person, this type of conversation could also be a way of registering their unwelcome presence in your life. 

It can be a selfish and somewhat manipulative move. Having access to inside information about your life or activities but not truly being part of your life is only a way of toiling with your emotions and giving false reconciliation hope. 

Trust me, it's best not to entertain the conversation. They are not trying to get back to you. Perhaps when the feeling of loss comes to mind, it prompts them to throw mixed signals into your head. It's best to ignore them so that they don't live rent-free in your head/mind.

9. He’s just immature

If you have ever dated an immature guy, you are probably not new to mind games, being ghosted, and so on. That's because they are not sure of what they want. If playing mind games, being flaky, etc, are a normal trend when the relationship was technically alive, you shouldn't be surprised he's behaving the same way now that the relationship has gone south.

The behavior is a move he does just because he can or because he's not ready to stick around for anything serious. The best way to handle a guy like this is to completely ignore their games and break all contacts

10. He’s got issues

Perhaps psychological, some people just don’t know how to stick around for the commitment that comes with being in a relationship. Because they still desire attention and affection like everybody else, they prey on other people’s emotional needs so that they can feel good about themselves. 

Basically, they don’t want you to forget them, yet they don’t want to stick around for anything serious. Unless you never paid attention while you were together, you would have noticed this behavior. 

Did something of this nature happen when you were together? Just when you thought things were going great, he ghosted you for no reason or because of some meaningless, petty issue, leaving you in a confused state of what went wrong. Maybe you even blamed yourself for splitting up, thinking you did something wrong to push him away. 

Nope, it's a deliberate move. He doesn't want to hang around for a real relationship. He probably has psychological issues, such as abandonment, or fear of failing, that he has refused to deal with

This way, he takes a hike when there's a need to get serious. An ex with these types of issues will probably never change unless he has healed from his past pain. Only you can prevent someone from getting into your head. For guys like that, blocking him, so he can stop contacting you, is not a bad idea.

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

11. He wants to get into your pants

Unless you are new to dating, it's not an uncommon trend for guys to want sex from their ex when they are feeling lonely. It's not technically bad if that's what both parties want. However, it becomes an issue when you want something more serious. 

Usually, if an ex talks to you again after you both went separate ways, a positive response from you is likely what will determine how long he'll stick around to play you. If you fall for his tricks immediately and let him have the cookie, chances are, he may stick around some more before he disappears. However, if you don't rush things, but carefully process his comeback, he may quickly disappear since your responses make him feel he's not getting any free sex. 


Why does my ex text me then ignore me?

He's probably playing games with you to validate his self-esteem or give himself an ego boost. It could also mean he honestly wants to get back with you and is trying to test your feelings for him. If you chase after him after he starts ignoring you, it will be a sign to him that you still want him too. 

Why is my ex suddenly ignoring me?

If you and your ex did not stop talking or even spend time together after splitting up, it may be that you want more from your ex than he can give. It might also be that he wanted to rekindle old flames but changed his mind after realizing he doesn’t want you anymore. Also, if he’s looking to start something new with another lady, ignoring you may be a move to avoid issues with his new partner.

Why does he keep contacting me after the breakup?

If it wasn't a bad breakup, i.e., no hard feelings, there's nothing stopping two people that once dated to keep maintaining the friendship as long it's not affecting them emotionally. Even if a relationship ends, it doesn't have to end every other thing.

Why did my ex randomly text me?

It might be that he’s just checking up on you, especially if he’s a nice guy. Maybe you broke up not too long ago, about a month, it might be his way of checking if you are okay. However, if he was a control freak when you dated, randomly texting to make you talk to him might just be a way of giving himself a sense of control.

Should you ignore your ex’s texts?

Relationships are sometimes complicated. People sometimes slit up impulsively or out of anger. So, if you both broke up prematurely and there might be a chance to rekindle what you once shared, it's not a bad idea to entertain your ex's text. 

Also, if an ex is just sending harmless texts as a way of being nice, it's not a bad idea to remain friends. However, if you know him to be manipulative and doesn't have good intentions or respect for you, the best option might be to ignore him, especially if you already have cold feet about it.

In Conclusion

It's not uncommon for an ex to start talking with you after you've broken up. The key is not to get too excited, play it cool, and don’t answer phone calls too often. Also, give your ex space after the break up if need be, and don’t talk too often especially since he’s the one who started ignoring you. Lastly, ensure you don't get hurt again, especially if you still have strong feelings and don't mind rekindling old flames. 

Just take your time, the contact period will reveal his intentions if you are attentive. I hope you enjoyed the article? Please drop a comment and share the article with friends.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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